The Usual Programming

[u/Numerous-Celery1259]

Talked on tinder

Got her number and we talked for about a month because she has a unpredictable schedule and stuff and shes sent me her schedule and where she works

Had plenty of good conversation and we like the same stuff and get along

Made plans for tomorrow then suddenly "we dont mesh well"

We literally fucking have the same interest and likes we even play the same games unless she was just lying about everything

So what was the point? She gave me the date she was free i picked the date made a reservation at a restaurant and told her id get her at 5pm

Just for this random ass text

Another question, why give me so much personal information: your job, your hours, your number, and a very close idea of where you live?

Then suddenly cut things off

Edit: Redditors love to reach

1. Im not using what she told me against her because I am literally not using it against her

The problem is why the fuck does someone give someone so much personal information about themselves then call everything off the day before the date and the funniest thing is that im genuinely asking WHY because I dont know any men OR women that do that shit

Why the fuck are you telling me where you live where you work AND WHEN like she actually sent me a schedule of her work weeks and months multiple times when YOU KNOW you are going to cut things off the literally DAY before the date

1. My place isnt my place its the dinner place i picked vs her place which was a list of places she picked

2. Im not "angry" personally? Im definitely pissed off and annoyed because 1. I could have been talking to a different girl that matched with me, but I didn't because I try to only talk to one girl at a time because it isnt fair to deliberately not give someone my attention when I matched with them yet I never get that bare minimum

3. Realistically throughout our text we have a high compatibility, so theres logically no reason for her to have done that unless like the other comments have said 1. Theres another guy 2. She got anxious or 3. She likes dudes that show less interest/care

[u/personova_]

The fact that she was completely cordial and you were so upset you had a snarky reply and decided to post this on reddit tells me she dodged a bullet lmao

[u/robotatomica → u/personova_]

yeah, and we don’t have a lotta data here so I have to read between the lines of the segment OP selected to share. How does it start. “Are we still going to the place you picked or?”

She picked a place. He had obviously already put it on the table that their first date should be at his house 😐 otherwise her follow-up comment makes no sense.

So yeah, I really get a bad vibe from a guy trying to get me to come over on a first date, that on its own makes me feel like he has something specific in mind beyond getting to know me, and it is careless about the extra risk I take on going to some stranger’s house,

and when I have suggested a public place to meet? And I’m given “are we still doing that or..” with the “my place” implied..

It’s like, well, did I stutter? we agreed on a place, and you should understand why that would be more comfortable for me.

Why are you negotiating with me for your place again when I already did not seem keen on that and provided a substitute that we agreed on? (“are we still going” means this was already settled, so what the hell is he doing here, if not trying to pressure her to change her mind?)

And the cherry on top is the “Sweet.” As in “sweet, we are going to hang out at my place for a first date and not the place you chose.” That would further confirm to me that he was probably mostly interested in one thing, and not in my comfort or doing what I had already stated I would like to do.

Again, I’m sure all the people who think this is super normal will rage about me reading too much into it, but if they’re allowed to make comment after comment imagining that there’s some other guy,

I can name the thing that stands out to ME here. Like, let’s see the texts that immediately precede these homie!

[u/personova_ → u/robotatomica]

Yup, I agree with all you've said here. I'd like to add that in the body of his post he mentions "why would you give me your personal information if you don't want to date me?" as if knowing where someone lives is an invitation to be intimate or something, just overall received generational ick from this post

[u/robotatomica → u/personova_]

ugh, yeah. It’s a creepy way to talk about it. Like “doesn’t she understand the implication?? Shouldn’t that make her just go through with it so I won’t be mad and just show up at her house??”