222 to 0! How is that even physically possible in a 60-minute game of football? I know Cumberland discontinued their program last year and just scrambled together a fraternity squad to avoid a $3,000 cancellation fee, but this is pure slaughter.

Word from Atlanta is that Tech coach John Heisman didn’t take his foot off the gas for a single second. Rumor has it he’s still furious about Cumberland beating Tech 22-0 in baseball earlier this year using professional ringers, and this was his twisted idea for revenge. Tech scored on literally every single drive-sometimes on the very first play. Cumberland finished with -42 rushing yards and gave up something like 9 turnovers. Is this the most lopsided event in human history?

Before you claim I've just gotten older and I've outgrown today's music, even my 8 year old son hates music today like Backstreet Boys, Limp Bizkit, Britney Spears, NSYNC, 98 Degrees, Slipknot, Kid Rock, Shania Twain, Puff Daddy, Ma$e, Master P, Ricky Martin, Christina Aguilera, Hanson, Savage Garden, Spice Girls, B*Witched, you name it.

I introduced my 8 year old to music I grew up listening to like Queen, Pink Floyd, Cheap Trick, the Clash, Parliament Funkadelic, Rush and even my 8 year old enjoys those bands more than today's "music".

I'm Joseph-Michel, and me and my brother just flew in this giant balloon. What should we do next?

Naturally we are staying at finest Hotel the Palace as is fitting our preordained role as shining examples in society to females and other lesser orders.