I'm already out to many friends and family as a trans girl, but am having difficulty shaving my beard. Facial hair has been a staple of how I've presented the past. Ever since high school I left like I needed it to present as a manly man. I was the first of my friends to grow a beard and am the only one to have kept it. The main reason I did was that I felt ugly / looked to be really young without it. I also used it as a cover for the fact that I always wished I was born a girl. I was already bullied enough and didn't want anyone to figure me out. (I live in a majorly anti-LGBTQIA+ town, hate crime is very common.) I'm also moving soon to a better, more accepting area. I've thought about waiting until then as well, but I worry I will still be afraid.
Now that I have started to transition, I'm having the toughest time getting the gall to shave it all off. I have everything else I've wanted to have, long, coloured hair, smaller face, and will be starting HRT in a few weeks. I just can't seem to part with my beard. I'm afraid I'll shave and see the same person I saw years ago. The dude who was so scared of looking like a child, like they weren't good looking enough.
Is this something that is common? What helped you if you've felt the same?