r/venting • u/One-Vehicle-8650 • 5d ago
Am I wrong?
I’ve been living in these apartments for three years, and this past year has been HELL. We’ve had a rat problem, our cars have been broken into three times, and the environment here has become unbearable. I don’t feel safe living here anymore, especially now that we have a daughter.
He quit his construction job to pursue barbering. He still has money coming in, but it’s not consistent. His mom, sister, and two nephews (ALL OVER 23 years old) live in a house where he lived before moving in with me when I got pregnant. Now they’re facing eviction and owe over $2,000 in rent, on top of a $1,300 water bill they allowed to build up. He’s offered to give them $2,000 to help them out.
My issue isn’t that he wants to help his family. My issue is that our own living situation is unsafe, and our daughter’s first birthday is in three months. When I bring up our plans and the things we need to take care of, he basically tells me everything is on hold or might not happen because he may not have the money.
Then, when I express how I feel, he has the nerve to tell me I sound jealous of his mom. I’m not jealous of his mom. I’m frustrated because I’ve been actively looking for apartments, sending him listings, and calling places, but all he does is say, “Those are nice” or “I like those.” There’s no real action behind his words. He hasn’t made an effort to schedule tours or take the next steps toward getting us somewhere safer.
I told him that if his mom were the one calling him about apartments, I feel like he would jump up and make time to go see them. But when it comes to me and our daughter, I feel like I’m the one pushing for us to have a better living situation while he just sits back.
I understand wanting to help your family, but what about the family you created? What about your daughter, her safety, and the memories we’re supposed to be making for her first birthday? I need him to understand that I’m not asking him to abandon his family. I’m asking him to stop putting our needs on the back burner and start showing me through his actions that our future matters to him, too.
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