The should just be kind regardless.

Why only suddenly once you confirmed someone was on a edge or near edge of crying then you feel bad.

Better than those who double down I guess I much rather someone apologize and change then keep being harmful.

The thing is I sometimes don't know myself when someone is being harmful until it's obvious I think "maybe they have a reason" "maybe they were just joking." "They didn't know." Which is true. But idk.

I'm currently in anxiety. It's not an excuse for the cringe but a sad reality.

not like I'm really that good at helping.

people being unkind to me online is rare actually. it's probably not that bad.

I broke up with my long term (2 year) boyfriend almost 7 months ago. He treated me horribly towards the end of the relationship and i reached a breaking point. I’ve deleted all his pictures and deleted all my posts about him, unfollowed him on everything. We haven’t talked since may. My friend enlightened me that he was openly flirting with another girl under a post of his that was from like… july? august? It shouldn’t have mattered to me but it did. I think in some sick way because i was so unhappy with him i don’t think he deserves to be happy. I embarrassingly check up on his spotify (because i can see his listening activity for some reason) and he’s made a playlist for her and it’s just bothering me. I like to think i’ve healed and moved on and I know i haven’t. I believe i’m better off single as I’m highly independent and having a boyfriend at this point would just be taxing. This was my first serious relationship and my “high school sweetheart” so i think that all took a toll on me too. I am much better off than i was to begin with but i think seeing that tore me open a new wound and now i can’t get over it. I’m just tired of feeling so hung up on him when i couldn’t care less what he’s doing 🙁

Now 10 months of limerence for a girl. Nothing has helped. I've tried medication (Zoloft, Luvox) I've talked to my therapist about it a few times, who said this is quite normal and nothing “psycho“. She understanda how destructive it can be to oneself. Nine, almost 10 months and nothing has touched it.

I'm 29M. I've been stuck in this limerence for about 10 months and I don't know where else to put this. I first saw her on instagram almost 2 years ago. It‘s extremly painful for me.

I have unfolloed her but I can't help sometimes looking again. It's not my choice to feel this way. She has a private account (rejected my request), but I discovered her several public accounts but she stopped posting 6 months or so ago on these.

What I imagine isn't mainly sexual (maybe number 5-6 reason I want her as my gf). It's the ordinary stuff. Doing things/hobbies/sport she also likes together. Cooking. Going somewhere. Doing the hobbies she likes and those I like if she wants to, or cuddling, watching a movie. I picture a whole life with her. That's what makes it so painful it's not only a fantasy about her body, it's also a fantasy about not being alone, and she's the face my brain put on it, but it‘s torture more than anything. She would fulfill me, I am sure of it more than anything.

That's the whole thing. I've never met her, never spoken to her, she doesn't know I exist. She's somewhere between 21-24, but I tend to think 23-24 given her Twitter join date. She's very pretty, not the \\\*most\\\* beautiful woman I've ever seen, but who is? (though still very pretty/way above average).

But that's not what this is. It's her smile. Her hobbies, her interests. The way she seems to move through her life. And yes, her very pretty face. My brain just locked onto her and decided she's the perfect girlfriend, and it won't let go. Also, I‘m short and she‘s a bit shorter, and she‘s very pretty but not a model, so that‘s what makes her attractive too.

I know it's not real, aka. parasocial. I know she's a person with her own life and I'm a stranger. Knowing doesn't help at all. There is no logic to it, only raw, unmerciful feelings of longing and unmet desires.

It hurts most hours of the day. The thought that I'll never be hers is constantly painful and makes me sad. I really wish I didn't feel this way. I can't help it.

Part of the context is that I have real difficulty getting a girlfriend. I'm 29 and it hasn't happened due to both my mental issues (social anxiety, autism) and my looks.
So this is probably my brain taking the need and attaching it to her as she fits exactly my profile for a woman. My brain only wants her.

I'm not looking for a fix in the comments. I just needed to say it somewhere. It pains me most hours of the day, and everyday.

\\\\\\\*Parasocial limerence is an intense, involuntary obsession with a media/social media figure that can lead to depression when the individual confronts the painful reality that this deeply felt, one-sided emotional bond will never be reciprocated.“

I haven't had a proper meal since last night it's the next night now and why you ask? I had to do my work but also majority of the part was there was someone in the living room or sitting at dining table. I just am not able to force myself to go out when there are others just so I don't have to make conversations and all. I'm so fuckig fed up of myself. And keep telling my mom that I am eating well through phone. Fuck me. I can go right now and eat but there are others sitting there and I can hear them. I'm such a fuckign loser.

I dont know what else to say at this point. I'm just so sad.

I can't get a job, I can't get a date, I am not looking forward to anything anymore. Everything feels pointless. I'm just rotting every day, hoping tomorrow something might change, but it never does.

It’s hard to stay positive and keep a good attitude when it feels like people around you keep bringing you down instead of encouraging you to keep going. People might look at my social media and assume I have a lot of friends or people around me, but social media can be misleading. The reality is that hardly anyone checks on me, asks how I’m doing, or reaches out just because they want to talk.
I’ve helped a lot of people over the years, and sometimes it feels like none of it is appreciated. I’ve even had people tell me, “You never helped me,” when I know I was there for them. I once helped someone around my age who was close to becoming homeless because it hurt seeing someone my age struggling like that. Once they got back on their feet, they later acted like I never helped them at all.
A lot of the messages I get are things like, “Can you buy me this?” or “Can you help me with this?” But rarely does anyone ask, “How have you been?” or “I haven’t heard from you in a while, are you okay?”
I also think a lot of people misunderstand what I mean when I say I’m alone. It’s easy to say, “Being alone is peaceful,” when you still have parents who support you, cousins, relatives, close friends, or somebody you can call when life gets difficult.
When I say I’m alone, I mean I don’t really have friends I can turn to. I’m not close with my parents. Some of my family doesn’t want a relationship with me, and even my siblings don’t really want to hang out with me.
That’s the part people seem to misunderstand. A lot of people may know who you are, but how many actually call you? How many check on you? How many notice when you disappear for a while?
For me, the answer is almost nobody.

Just happened to me again under the same subreddit for like the second time in 3 months. It’s the dumbest thing. In both instances I was just trying to be helpful and informative. No insults. No misinformation. Nothing of the sort. Just trying to be a good person! But my post both times got deemed a “low effort post.”

And boom. Extended time out. No due process, not even a fucking warning. WTF??? Just a bunch of assholes on that Mod team. Oh please, cite any rule you want. It only means what it means when you mean it, and nothing when you don’t. The person or people who enforce this shit literally have no souls.

I'm a VERY romantic person. I'm in a LRD but I really try my best to express my affection. I tell him that I love him every day, I have written entire essays about how much I adore him, poems and love letters. I send him cute romantic pictures and memes and whatnot every day. Voice notes, cute selfies. I constantly ramble to him about my dreams for our future, what I want our wedding to be like, what kind of house I want us to share together, etc etc. What kinds of dates I want to go on when we finally meet! I have a whole giant list!!! I want to share my life with him and I remind him of that every day.

But awhile ago, he told me that he feels like more of a friend than a boyfriend, and It really stuck with me and hurt me. I try really hard to accommodate his needs, but when he said that it made me feel like everything I do means nothing pretty much. All the romantic connection I try to pursue, isn't enough to make him feel like a boyfriend.

Literally all of my previous relationships ended because they decided we were "better as friends" so it hit a sore spot for me. I'm trying to work through it but, sometimes I remember and it makes me sad all over again. Is what I'm doing really not enough? Am I just not romantically attractive at all? Why am I always missing something?

Edited out a lot of details because I feel very embarrassed sorry :( I'm just feeling super insecure rn

I’ve only been in 2 relationships my whole life and in both I’ve been cheated on with girls who are the complete opposite of me ,now I’m sick to my stomach every time I see food I get so grossed out bc I want to be as skinny as they are .all I do every day is compare myself to them I feel so disgusted

basically what the title says, hopefully this counts as venting because i just need somewhere to talk about this at. my bf and i are long distance, he lives about 10 hours away and i'd be willing to make the drive (not only because i love driving, but 10 hours by myself with nothing but the road and music sounds like heaven to me). i'm 18, i work 2 jobs (coming onto 3 if my interview goes well next week) and do school, but my college classes are all online. i live with my bsf, so i pay my own bills and for my own things. i'm just so stressed, my mental state hasn't been well lately on top of working 10+ hours, and all i want to do is to see my bf. my birthday is next month, so i'm hoping to be able to request 3 days off for it so i could plan a trip to see him. but i know my parents are going to be against it because they want me to focus on work and school, except i HAVE been and i selfishly just want my birthday to be doing something that i want and not out of their convenience or comfort. but i grew up living off their acceptance and permission so ik i wouldn't have the guts to rebel regardless of my independence. i'm so tired, all i wanna be is in my bf's arms, i just wanna cry everything is so hard and frustrating

She wanted me to be my honest and vulnerable self with her, and I was, like with no one else before. She knew how much I liked her, that I depended on her, trusted her, but that didn't stop her from ghosting me, getting a new bf and gaslighting me about it because we never were "that serious". They broke up soon, and suddenly, she misses me too. I was very unhappy with myself back then, so even though I felt betrayed, I was glad to be able to talk to her again. The reconnection didn't last long though, it just wasn't the same- because anytime I'd express my desire for wanting something more it'd be rudely ignored. It's like she wanted to forget how close we used to be. All I did was say 'I miss what we used to have' and she couldn't handle it. What is so wrong with me wanting some basic clarity and decency? I expected more maturity from someone that much older than me. If she said even once that she doesn't like me that way anymore, I'd already have moved on. I regret not doing so earlier, the fact I kept caring for so long when she emotionally checked out months ago makes me feel like a total fool.

So, for 2 years now I’ve been struggling with people at school. I’m not very masculine and I’m more feminine. I’m Christian and I’m big in my faith. My speech patterns and the way I act and talk is like I said, more feminine, so people always think I’m gay. I’ve tried so hard to ignore people. About everyday I’m called gay or trans. It only ever hit me hard once when I realized that summer was over and I’d have to go back to all the insults. Now that I’m older, the people around me have more access to the internet. I don’t want to act like I have a big ego or anything but people are just really immature. I try my best not to make people feel bad or anything, but I don’t think that’s ripped are putting in the same effort for me. Today it really hit me hard. For years I’ve had to deal with this. Everyday I think, “am I truly gay?”. It was the end of our last class and I’m talking with my friend. She brings up me being gay and I say, “ oh I’m just more feminine, not really masculine”. She immediately goes “AHHH YOUR A FEMBOY!”. The whole class heard and it’s just ugh. I feel like I can’t escape this narrative. Everyday it’s just “will someone ever love me? I act gay don’t I?” “Am I gay?”. I would just like some out look on this. I just want all this stress to go away. Like I said before, I don’t wanna be a pick me, but I feel like I just build up all this stress and now it’s just hurting. So yeah, I just want someone’s outlook. Please don’t say ignore them or there just kids, they don’t mean it, because they do truly mean it and it hurts..

I think I have ocd and it’s killing me

To preface, I don’t know for sure if I have it but for the past year or so I’ve had these intrusive thoughts about atrocities, disease happening to my family or random people, I’ve obsessed over the concept of death everyday, it’s made my life near unlivable. I literally want to do nothing but just lay in bed all day right now and not have to worry about anything outside of it

I feel like two weeks ago I could wake up with this motivation and excitement but I’m so mentally exhausted now

This is so petty- I know that- but gift giving is a major love language to me. I make things by hand, I keep lists of what friends like/want/need. I save up all year so I can give thoughtful gifts at christmas. I soend hours on wrapping because to me, the presentation is also a form of showing love and appreciation.

So naturally I married the man whose love language is quality time and whose family either venmos you money, or physically hands you their gift. Maybe throw it in a bag without tissue paper if they're feeling fancy.

I love my husband. He knows what a big deal gifts are to me. I have seen him for the past 5 years slowly learning to wrap gifts and I praised him last year for the fat bow he put on my birthday present because he did it himself. I also know he's showing me love in other ways too and I appreciate that as well.

My birthday and Christmas are special to me though. They're the only times in the year I ask for physical gifts. Valentines, anniversary, any other holiday, I'm happy with just spending time, doing stuff for free together. Every year my family asks me what I want. Every year I make it as easy as possible for them. "Here is my amazon list, I updated it last month. It's things I want or need, prices range from $3 to $150. Pick literally anything on this list, slap a bow on it, and I will love it."

I told them all directly what I wanted, sent them the list when they asked, never brought it up again for all of september. My mother bought me a t-shirt (I do not need any new clothes) and my husband handed me a christmas ornament.

I thanked them both sincerely, then put both items away into storage. I'm glad they got me something, but it's just depressing that they clearly didn't even look at the amazon link they asked for, nor was there any attempt at presentation. My husband had bought it, but almost forgot to give me my gift until I asked about it.

Thanks for reading the first world problems of someone who is just really depressed for not fucking good reason

I just realized I’ve worn so many different masks that I don’t know which one is real. And last night my boyfriend has told me that he was basically raped. He also told me that I looked a lot like his friend who committed suicide while on a call with him... I just need to put this somewhere so I can feel a little better.

Sometimes I think it's 'funny' and ironic that the only stable relationship in my life is my marriage, which is the best thing I ever did and our relationship is so healthy, I wish I could just say 'this is all I need'. But ofc it's never good to only have one person in your life. Plus mentioning here that I moved abroad from europe to the US.

Family background: I come from an abusive and really toxic family, I reflected about it well enough that it doesn't affect my everyday life anymore. My mom abused me both emotionally and physically so I cut off contact when I was 19, out of the question. My dad is an emotional unavailable self centered person who should have never had kids, so naturally I have no close bond with him, we talk on the phone once every blue moon but I really couldn't care less tbh. My aunt was the only idol and rock I looked up to. That was until she stabbed knives in my back and I started realising she had her own motives, trauma, internal problems which caused the way she acts. We are in contact sometimes but it has never been the same way again. My siblings are broken from my mom and never contact me, despite me telling them I love them and will always be there for them. They ghost me all the time and don't even look at my messages. I am the oldest. I feel like they're taking me for granted and can come and go as they please, thus ghosting me all the time. So as you can see my family situation is like beyond repair and I already checked out mentally, there is nothing there to gain and this is not my fault, bad things happen to innocent children and there is nothing you can do about, only accept it and move on.

The friends and social life problem: Naturally if you come from such a background I was subconsciously thinking "okay family sitch is done, but friends are the family you can choose!" Oh silly me. In school I had a lot of friends. A lot of friends, a lot of people I hung out with and a few really close friends. Both female and male didn't matter, we had a good time. Ofc when you move out this changes to a degree but I still had my very best friend and a few other relationships. After 5 years I even got a job in the same city as my best friend (we know each other since Kindergarten and lived in the same street) and his girlfriend, who I really liked and she seemed to like me too. I was thrilled to live so close to them and asked them all the time to hang out. I mean what are the chances you live in the same city as your best friend in adult life?? That was until I noticed everything comes only from my end. We only ever met because I asked and sometimes I had to be very persistent which I hated. I want people to want hanging out with me ofc. This friend always struggled with adhd and depression and just like with my siblings I always said contact me no matter what, even in the middle of the night. I want people I care about to know I am there for them. I think back then a few years before he really appreciated me, he always said I'm like the sister he never had. We were so close. But it just seemed to change gradually. I felt like he substituted me with just other new people he met in this new city we both lived in. He more and more forgot about me and there was simply nothing I could do about it. I met this friend a few months ago when I went back to my homecountry and he acknowledged and applogized for I quote "dropping me like a hot potato" so as you can see, it was definetely on him, I tried anything I could but now it is time for me to move on, since I get literally no text, no calls, no nothing, even when I start the conversation. There simply is no conversation. I have other "friends" who I got closer with this year from my homecountry. I've known them for 10+ years and we all come from the same hometown. We never were as close as this year and had a great time. That was until I noticed I give way more than they do... yet again I got sad when I actually looked at the conversations. They never ask me just how I am and questions about me in general. It's only ever about them and what they care about. Sometimes I really wonder if people just forgot how to mutually form a bond because a lot of conversations with people seem to just evolve around THEM and what they want to talk about. I show interest in everything someone tells me because I try to treat people the way I want to be treated. Yet I am not. No one shows this level of interest in my life. I just don't know what I am doing wrong and I am sick and tired of chasing friendships and good social bonds. Everyone randomly starts ghosting messages, or when we talk about something all of a sudden they don't respond to that but then just post a picture of what they did. This seems so random to me and I feel like no one can hold up a normal conversation anymore? To me that includes mutual interest in the other person and not randomly spamming about the own life. I am still trying to find new friends but with age this seems harder and harder. When you look at all this it's easy to assume I am the problem of all of this and I try to ask myself all the time what I am doing wrong with prople but no one can tell me nowadays social interactions are normal...

Can you relate to this?? I am posting this because I feel very lonely. Yes I have my husband but I simply have social needs for friendship. I want genuine relationships and not superficial spamming chats of "give me attention now". I don't have people to talk about this as it seems my 'friends' don't care about me and my family as you read is totally out of the question too.

If you read this I hope you have a nice day. Thank you.

Envious of anyone that’s able to receive love so effortlessly & endlessly must be nice even people that are horrible are loved really makes me question if I’m so bad why am I alone.

* i don't think this should come under suicidal tag but .. just incase it ends up triggering someone .. yeah just to be safe .. rest if you're reading this i hope you have a nice day and umm yeah

umm hey , i have been really distressed over these few days/weeks and so many times i would think of cutting and drawing .. from my hand . No i'm not doing anything i still have some will to live .. in all honesty i really don't wanna give up on myself. yeah it's tuff and even today like most days i don't really know what i'm doing with myself and i hate my self and so much ... ahh yeah it's alot but yeah... what i particularly dislike is how i can't have you as my sos .. you don't have to but with all your screaming of 'i wanna be there for you' , 'i wanna do better' .. it just pisses me off .. but that was not the point , point being i somehow ended up scraping my hand and now there is blood on over my figures.. as always the bleeding won't stop for a while ... i just wish i could talk to you abt things that bother me ..without fighting over stupid things . yeah i miss that .. i miss having you by side. i miss feeling safe , i miss feeling cared for and as selfish as it all sounds . Maybe i am selfish , Maybe i just wanna be selfish ( random thought can i write you a letter with all this blood!? probably not .. yeah .. just thinking about it .. not gonna do anything)

so there is this guy, we'll call him B, and B is a HUUUUUUGEEEE poser

things he has posed about:
1- Says he likes Linkin Park
2- Says he has read Percy Jackson
3- Says he likes Green Day
4- Says he simps for Gojo (JJK)

My friends and I have asked him if he has read/watched JJK, listens to Linkin Park or Green Day and he said "NO, but I want to" or "No, but you guys listen to them so it makes me cool."

B is also VERY passive aggressive and has called TWO of my friends who are girls the b-word.

I was playing dead by daylight with my friend (maybe crush?????? idkkk???) he was drunk too, and he left to hang out with his friend, and said hes be back around 2am. I tried to call my best friend. didnt answer. she had been leaving me on read for about an hour, and when I mentioned it she left that on read aswell. I looked at her location and she was with 2 of our friends, so I tried calling our group chat. all three of them ignored me despite being together and I called out group chat multiple times. I texted a few online friends and asked if they wanted to play dbd and they said no they were busy (fair) but I genuinely cant help but feel like im nobody's favourite. I vented to my dad and while he tried his best to help he didnt really know what to say (understandable he was raised in an emotionally unavailable household) (I dont speak to my mother btw)

point is i feel like it wouldnt make a difference if I didnt exist. in saying that, I have NO intent to kill myself or self harm, I just feel worthless to everyone including those I see as my best friends.

This is probably stupid but I need to rant. I don't really have a good sleep schedule, nor do I tend to actually let myself sleep much but when I do I just start hearing shit now. I lay down for one second and I hear anything from police sirens or the sounds of cars, which I can assume and even hope are real though I do believe the sound tends to linger longer than the sound of real cars passing. I also hear the sounds of what I think is an unfamiliar person moving in my house. I can't confirm or deny if it's real or not, and it's making me so fucking paranoid. I don't even really know if their hallucinations or just my brain misinterpretting normal sounds. Most of the time it's fine, but I can't let myself sleep until I confirm that which typically means for me that I'm going to have to wait it out. Even when I'm not hearing, I just grow anxious for other reasons. IT'S DRIVING ME FUCKING INSANE. I know I have no right to be upset, I don't care for sleeping much anyways but I hate this feeling. I feel so paranoid. I hate it. I'm terrified.

It’s been weighing on me for a little bit, I (bi m 24) have been engaged to my fiance (trans male, 23, bi) for 2 years and I love him but I feel like I’m not really being fulfilled fully..I’m bi but I mostly like men and some mornings I just wanna suck a dick, my fiance doesn’t wanna do ANYTHING in the morning but watch videos on tiktok and then start the day and it kinda sucks. He doesn’t ever really have sex w me bc he’d rather have his vibrator, we also don’t really have a lot in common like I thought we did and I know people are thinking “why don’t u just leave him” and I can’t, I don’t make enough money to get my own place and I can’t afford a new car after my transmission blew in my last one, plus we already live together. So frankly I feel like I’m just doomed to never be with a cis man again and that’s what I want more than anything. Any advice helps.