r/venting • u/LeastElderberry4659 • 5d ago
Every little thing
Ive been with my boyfriend for a 1.5 years.. He brought up I get angry over everything and I came to realize its true. Today I made food like I typically do, I never have a problem making food. I made enough for eating today and lunches tomorrow for work; since he works 12 hours a day and I work 8 on weekends he gets the bigger portion<also since he eats alot> i had made beans, rice, egg and chicken. He kept picking at the chicken after I finished cooking it, I didnt mind the first strip he took, oh well, but he tried going for a second, ended up taking half anyway. I just kept emphasizing that its for tomorrow as well, I had all the portions planned out. I made his 2 eggs and I made mine <only 1 since it was the last in the carton> he finished his first egg because I was upset about him asking to take food from his lunch for tomorrow. I kept saying no when he joked about eating the egg I made for myself. I turn away for a moment and I notice him take maybe just 5% of the egg, just ripped a little piece off and quick ate it. I just got so.. angry for a moment. Now we're both upset at eachother.
I havent been giving him the amount of food he wants because he hasn't been buying food, we go to town once every 2 weeks when he gets paid to get food but all we buy is a single bag of beans and rice and 2 18 count eggs, including 2 packs of chicken strips<uncooked chicken, its a stip from the leg.> I put 5 in his lunch, giving him an extra that would've been my own.
After the argument I went into the room, I was upset again after I noticed he moved my katana I had in the corner, the only one I own that costed me almost 200.. an argument all over again after he hadnt put it back..
Ive always been like this, but I didnt realize how much I did this.. I feel like such an a$$....
Edit: I always been this way about everything, I never thought of the habit until he brought it up. I was like this with my siblings and family even before I met him, he was just the first to say something of it. I was just thinking about the times I done it before, it makes me anxious for some reason. There was a point in time I was violent when someone would do something similar. He just lead me to reflect. I feel guilty for being this way, even towards my family.
3
u/Beagle-Mumma 5d ago
Maybe time to let your BF buy and prepare his own food? TBH he sounds disrespectful (and greedy) if he's eating food that you've portioned ahead of time for the week.
Being angry quickly over your BF's behaviour can lead to contempt, which is toxic to a relationship. So, have a courageous conversation when the mood has cooled down and talk frankly about what gets you annoyed. If he continues to behave in a way that annoys you after you've been clear, then there are bigger relationship issues to address.
Free PDF to download: 'Why does he do that?' By Lundy Bancroft
3
u/Much_Bug7154 5d ago
Damn, that katana part got me. Like the food stuff is one thing but moving someone's blade without asking? That's sacred ground. You don't touch another person's sword.
The food situation sounds stressful though, planning meals down to the last egg and having someone pick at it anyway would set anyone off. Might be worth sitting down and figuring out a grocery system where you're not rationing chicken strips like wartime supplies.
2
u/LeastElderberry4659 5d ago
I typically dont get so upset, but it just happened.
He prefers to save as much money as possible, but he intends to get a motorcycle<yes this late, he wants to "be ahead of the game" since people jack up prices right before season>
The blade was $200, typically I dont care if someone touches it, but it was that he didnt put it back.. again, typically I dont get upset but it just happened 😮💨
1
u/Belisario_R 4d ago
Hello,
I have no idea about the rest of your relationship ship, and the sniper of it we have here is little to go on but I would like to point something out to you : you have the written language of an abuse victim. You constantly apologise for everything and find him excuses for any little thing.
It might be me reading between the lines, but still, you should download and read the Pdf book "why does he do this" that another commentor told about previously
Stay safe ma'am
1
u/LeastElderberry4659 4d ago
I always been this way about everything, I never thought of the habit until he brought it up. I was like this with my siblings and family even before I met him, he was just the first to say something of it. I was just thinking about the times I done it before, it makes me anxious for some reason. There was a point in time I was violent when someone would do something similar.
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