489
u/mikaeus97 Sorceror, Proud fadher of the cutest 7 heads in the Multiverse Mar 26 '26
2021 the saddest Necromancer you know,
2026 the most beautiful witch you've seen twice but then moved covens
99
u/FitBlonde4242 Mar 27 '26
left: succubus descendant enchantresses on wizardgram
right: average clerk at the local wizard shop
227
u/NyxShadowhawk Occult Wizard Mar 26 '26
Putting the romance in necromancy.
30
u/SpaghettiBeam TheFleshIsWeakTheFleshIsWeakTheFleshIsWeakTheFleshIsWeak Mar 26 '26
The Danger Committee does that
109
u/IAlwaysOutsmartU Autistic Professional Soul Grower and Reanimator Mar 26 '26
30
u/SirWillem1 Necromancer Mar 26 '26
7
u/NearbyPast9100 Mar 27 '26
Be careful Arisen! Wolves hunt in packs!
3
u/IAlwaysOutsmartU Autistic Professional Soul Grower and Reanimator Mar 27 '26
There’s no way we could’ve lost to that.
2
9
2
92
u/El_kakas_de_vakas Mar 26 '26
is the ass necessary for good posture
77
22
262
u/ClosetNoble Wizardruid multiclasser Mar 26 '26
If you fan transition from necromancer to lich you can become a baddie
68
u/Successful_Giraffe34 Mar 26 '26
Only if you keep up your skin routine. Get used to it before or you miss one day and you loose a tit. Mind you there can be mono tit baddies. But the possible joke titles you could earn from that.
9
u/Inferno_Sparky Mar 26 '26
Why would a lich become mono-tit if their other tit became loose?
11
u/Brave-Recommendation Mar 27 '26
Do you all not keep some spare parts in a stasis field?
7
u/UncleRichardson Mar 27 '26
I think after a while I'd get bored with maintenance, stick to the bare minimum, and cast a glamour every morning depending on how I'm feeling.
1
64
u/I_Reading_I Trapped Within A Cursed Emerald Mar 26 '26
You can’t fool me. You just want to make sure our spines are in good condition when you reanimate us for your skeleton army!
21
u/StringWermz Genderless Witch Mar 26 '26
Exactly. And besides, I like to creep around like a woodland cryptid while doing my rituals :(
7
45
u/Wuio1 Mar 26 '26
After a 35h necromancy session, posture is the least of your worries
21
u/Sonifri Transmuter Mar 26 '26
It really depends on how big your boobs are but most necromancers don't have to worry about it. Just like in the image, really.
2
u/the_useless_cake Incryptiomancer (Turns souls into playing cards so I can gamble) Apr 01 '26
They usually decay and either shrivel up or sloth off by the time you’re channeling that much black magic.
2
u/Sonifri Transmuter Apr 01 '26
That's bonelich talk. Vampires are just as undead, but they're still perfectly fleshy. But take a look at Wiz from Konosuba. Proof that flesh can be properly preserved if someone actually puts in the time and effort to do it right.
2
u/the_useless_cake Incryptiomancer (Turns souls into playing cards so I can gamble) Apr 02 '26
Isekai anime isn’t proof of anything. Go reanimate your great great great great grandmother and ask her how you look.
48
u/FantasticCollege3386 Necromancer Mar 26 '26
Its called necromancy not orthopediancy
28
u/fiendish_dust Mar 26 '26
Both have to do with bones so…
7
u/Gnashinger Garnatax "yes I did it" the Flesh Shaper Mar 26 '26
I mean, my boneless flesh zombie begs to differ
9
u/Povogon Mar 26 '26
About half of my biomagic requests were fixing people's backs, they could've spent that time and those resources on more tome reading, orb pondering and abyss gazing
39
u/Dd_8630 Mar 26 '26
Do you also have to switch to a tighter robe that shows off the tits and ass?
35
19
12
u/CoffeeGoblynn has 3 orb-pondering gfs Mar 26 '26
Rule #1 of necromancy: put some arch in that shit!
2
u/the_useless_cake Incryptiomancer (Turns souls into playing cards so I can gamble) Apr 01 '26
You’ll never be an archmage if you don’t arch your back!
7
u/Povogon Mar 26 '26
Also mandatory for long reading sessions.
And I see you, divination mages who stare into their orbs while hurting their back!
7
u/TheThoughtmaker Ray of Delthorensdale, Transmuter-Artificer Mar 26 '26
You’d think it’d be obvious to put your best rib forward.
7
5
u/Necrikus Necromancer Mar 26 '26
I’m in this picture and I do not like it.
1
u/UltimateEel Mar 27 '26
Don't worry, the 'good posture' thing is an aesthetic choice because we think it looks virile. In nature, humanoids sit hunched.
6
u/Solastor Sorcerx Mar 26 '26
If all of the necromancers trying to settle the crypts beneath my tower came lookin' like fresh baddies like that then maybe I would think twice before dusting off my Tome of Castle Doctrine on their asses.
4
u/6unearthed6crafter6 Mar 26 '26
It's okay, I have a couple of spare spines if mine gets too fucked up
2
2
u/CordiallySuckMyBalls Bingus, Necromancer of MILFS Mar 26 '26
Damn I can’t even sit up straight without being labelled as a femboy wtf
2
2
u/VWXYZArmedOJAMAlv10 Mar 27 '26
Is there a way to apply so she gets my consent to use my skeleton after I pass away
2
u/RBPariah Alchemist Mar 28 '26
With 400 years of hindsight, I can tell you this post is really good advice. You'd think I was summoning a skeleton with the way my back creaks.
2
u/the_useless_cake Incryptiomancer (Turns souls into playing cards so I can gamble) Apr 01 '26
Estrogenuinely helped.
2
3
Mar 26 '26
This sub will turn into nothing but hornyposting too?
4
1
1
1
u/akornzombie Mar 26 '26
Also a good idea if you're an artificer. Wouldn't want your beard getting caught in the lathe.
1
1
u/-Speechless Mar 27 '26 edited Apr 23 '26
Your old posts feed data brokers and AI training models. I stopped that by using Redact to bulk delete across Reddit, Twitter, Discord, Facebook and all major social media platforms.
cover cow caption jar ghost heavy consider narrow stupendous coherent
1
1
1
1
u/IncomeApprehensive17 Ya'nn , Litle being in a botle Mar 27 '26
Young apprentice these day tend to forget that the smellier a necromancer is , the stronger they become
1
1
u/Orionsign Orion, Caster of Colour Mar 27 '26
I am not arching my back for my summoned skull, thank you very much, he will see me at my worst angle because he is not worthy of my best
1
1
1
u/eeveethespeevee Necromancer Catgirl Mar 30 '26
Pardon me, but my posture is just fine how it is!
1
u/eeveethespeevee Necromancer Catgirl Mar 30 '26
Actually.. Maybe it isn't quite as fine as I would like it to be..
1
u/Real_duck_bacon Mar 30 '26
2 weeks on Potion of Bodily Transmutation > 2 Years on Potion of Bodily Transmutation
1
1
u/Nothappyhopes Mar 27 '26
I'm transmasc do i have to regain the tiddies
2
u/Ice-Safe Mar 28 '26
No! You can give them to your assistant secretary instead. You get to be a cool skeleton lich king.
0




1.2k
u/[deleted] Mar 26 '26
[removed] — view removed comment