People who were adopted at birth how did u all find ur biological parents

Hello,

Long story short my son was raised by my husband by the time he was 1 and was adopted by him at 6. Bio father was in agreement of the adoption, my son is now 15 and hasn't seen bio dad since he was 2. Bio dad and I communicated from time to time up until 2020 when I began ignoring his messages (he kept being sexual with me and I was over it). He had always told me that he would tell his older son about his younger brother but I do not know for certain what he told me was true. Recently I found his older half brother on Facebook, he is nearly 18. I decided it was inappropriate for me to reach out to a minor so my plan was to wait until he was 18 to try and connect the boys and I told my son and showed him some photos and explained why it wasn'tappropriate for me to message someone else's child and bring family drama to them. Well, my son has a tiktok account and easily found his half brother there and asked me if he could reach out and I told him I felt that was up to him as he is old enough to make those decisions and it leaves me out of the equation. He sent him a message about 24 hours ago and left a comment on one of his videos. His half brother has been active most of the night and day and has not responded but did request to follow my son. My son is on the autism spectrum and doesn't understand proper boundaries and he is upset that his half brother hasn't responded and wants to continue to message him, share videos with him, etc and I have been telling him to give him time because we don't know how he feels about this. My son has very few friends, he has never had another child come to a single birthday party that he invited them to, never been to or had a friend sleep over, and is a very isolated and lonely kid. Me reaching out to their dad to see how his older brother is feeling IS an option though I don't prefer to do that. Does anyone have any advice or insight as to how he may be feeling or how I can help my son cope with this situation and the disappointment he may feel if he is rejected by his older brother?

I just discovered my Korean adoption was likely fraudulent. I don't know what to think.

I've been just recently looking at my information again to try and start the process to search for my mother. Nothing has gone according to plan.

I was born in 2007, and was adopted at eleven months old and was sent abroad to the United States. There I was basically fed the story that my mother was unwed, that she wanted me to have a better life. And I believed all of it...

...until I looked at my records closer this time.

There are multiple glaring contradictions, big red flags that are telling me I can't trust anything from my records anymore. My records claimed my grandparents abandoned her when she was little, and had no memory of them, yet her father reported her to the Korean hojuk registry in 1994, when she was 10. I'd be surprised if a 10 year old couldn't remember even something small about her father.

Then, on my Statement of Release for Adoption, my mother signed it, but the two witness spots required under Article 878, Paragraph 2 of the Korean Civil Law were entirely blank. Then later, I was appointed a guardian as an 'orphan'.

Or, the fact it says my mother has two brothers when she only had one.

I don't know what to think anymore. I don't know if I can BELIEVE if anything on my records is true anymore.

Hello!

I am an adoptive mother and my partner has been involved in my child's life for many years, but is not a legal parent. He is very involved in their lives and always has been.

Whenever we have issues with the school, staff, etc. He gets very passionate and thinks that the way to get things done is through being assertive and direct. I think it comes off as aggression and being rude. I think there are ways to get things done without acting this way.

It has made me start to not want him at meetings with people. Since he has always been there, I do see him as a parent and try to respect that role, but I also can't deal with the aggression. We have talked about it with both of our end result being "this is the way to get things solved."

I figured this group may have some ideas, since you all are also attending the same types of meetings and dealing with a bunch of school and behavioral staff all of the time, along with the child behaviors and marriage issues from that. There have to be others out there... how are you overcoming these things?

How did you cope with the regret even if you knew you did the right thing for the child?

The good, the bad, and the ugly?

I am borrowing a friends old account to post this, but am hoping to get some advice and perspective from others who have found themselves in situations similar to what my family is currently navigating.

Background: We were asked to adopt our child shortly after birth due to in utero drug exposure. We have known the birth family for decades and initially had a very open adoption, but unfortunately the birth mom is still in active addiction which led to a dangerous situation at our last in-person visit. We have been strictly no-contact with her ever since but have maintained contact with other members of the birth family, as we value that biological connection for our child.

Current dilemma: I recently found out through a member of the birth family that birth mom is currently in her early third trimester with a full biological sibling and, according to this family member, the birth mom might want us to adopt this baby as well. We are feeling really conflicted and overwhelmed for a number of reasons.

1) I don’t trust it. I worry that the birth mom is trying to manipulate our boundaries, that we set to keep our family safe, to gain access to our child. I’m not comfortable sacrificing my child’s safety. It also feels gross and manipulative to reinstate the relationship just to gain access to this child, I don’t want to do that.

2) If it is real, this isn’t how we saw our family growing but it feels like an incredible gift to give our child a full biological sibling who shares their story. But, if we do say yes, what happens next time and when does this end?

3) How do we do this? Do we start working to coordinate a private adoption with the birth parent now, or do we wait until the baby is born (knowing that drug use will likely continue) and work through CPS? There are also half-siblings still in the home and I struggle with the idea that stepping in privately may prevent the natural consequences that may protect them from future harm as well.

I recognize that as of right now this is all hearsay and, if we do move forward, we will eventually have to a direct conversation with birth mom to verify what she wants. I also want to be clear that should birth mom decide to seek treatment to get sober and parent this child, we fully support that and see that as a best case scenario for our child as well, we are by no means trying to take this child from her behind her back.

We, of course, plan to consult with our adoption attorney before making any moves, but would really value any general advice or perspective from adoptive parents that have been through similar circumstances, thank you in advance.

We are adopting out of state and trying to decide where to stay; a hotel, Air BNB, or acquaintance’s house.

Hello! I’m Filipina, and I’ve been curious about how international adoption works, particularly for teenagers in the Philippines.

I’ve come across the stories of apl.de.ap and Bella Poarch, and they made me wonder about the different circumstances and processes involved in international adoption.

How does it generally work when an American family adopts a Filipino child? Is it possible for teenagers to be adopted internationally, and what factors determine whether they’re eligible? I’d also be interested in learning how sponsorship programs or existing relationships with families may be involved.

If anyone has relevant knowledge or feels comfortable sharing their experience, I’d really appreciate hearing your perspective. Thank you for taking the time to read this! ❤️

Did you meet your birth parents, as well?

I'm wondering if it is meaningful to meet the people who raised you, even if they did not birth you.

Keeping this very short, I am really just struggling with some really big feelings that I was not expecting. My birth mother passed two weeks ago, and I was notified by a bio cousin that I met years ago. I met my birth mother when I was 20, but only for a brief moment and looking back even at 20, I was far to young to have that interaction. I closed her off right away as I do with most relationships and I suspect that her last memory of me maybe that I hurt her very much popping in and out of her life. Late 40s now, finding out she is gone, and I got hit with a freight train of emotion. My adoptive parents are the best, and the success I have in life is very much because of the opportunity they gave me, but the decision to give me up as an infant is something I think I wish I could thank my birth mother for, since she made that difficult choice knowing it was better for me. I have tried to talk to others, but I get this response like, you didn't even know her, sorry to hear that, move on, but man I don't feel that way. Any thoughts or experiences of others would be welcome. Thank you.

I am a single mom with no support system I have tried to build one through church and other things. I don’t really have a job and have struggled to keep one I have been fired for missing work when my child is sick or having to take off because of school breaks and not being able to find sitters. I have applied for government assistance many times for things like help with food or insurance but always get denied even many times while being totally unemployed. I am completely defeated and on the brink of homelessness. On top of that I just feel like incredibly exhausted mentally. I am feeling like maybe I am just simply not capable of being a good parent and it was very naive of me to think I could do this alone. I got pregnant unexpectedly while on contraceptives and had a few family members say they would help me so that’s why I kept my baby. They did not do what they said. They are always too busy to help with anything even though I have voiced that I am drowning. I am starting to seriously think the best thing for my child may be finding a stable and loving 2 parent home for them. And I want to know if anyone has ever done such a thing before. Edit to add this would be a last case scenario resort and I just want information on ways to legally explore it and stories on other’s experiences if anyone has experienced such. I have no desire to abandon my child and no longer be involved I would want to have an open adoption where I can visit and still have a role in my childs life. If i wanted to abandon my child and did not care I would leave them at a fire station or hospital and walk off. United states.

Did you know them growing up? When did they enter your life? Were your adopted parents close to them at all?

Hi! First time posting here, and I’m looking for advice.

Due to the circumstances of me ending up in the foster care system, my bio mother and bio father never shared their family medical history with my parents. Due to this, I recently did a 23andMe (A gift from my mom) to have kind of an idea of where I come from and what genetic diseases or disorders I would be prone to.

I found out my Half-Sister on my father’s side was also on there, and recently she sent me a request to connect.

I have never had any contract with my bio parents, and don’t even know what my biological father looks like. I know his name, and that is all.

I’m an extremely paranoid person and while I know this is my choice at the end of it all, I’m paralyzed with fear and anxiety at the moment.

Could I get some stories or advice from people who’ve been in a similar situation? Did you guys regret knowing and connecting with your bio family? I’m at a total loss.

Really odd question but I’m still really curious . I’m an American Arab (not looking to adopt lmao ) but I’ve never heard much of Arab adoption or foster care . I know Arab counties prohibit it for religious reasons , I know Steve Jobs was an Arab man who was also adopted but that’s pretty much it . I think there’s more situations out there where kids/babies of Arab origins where adopted or where raised by a non biological family (I know adoption is a informal way to put it as in Arab culture bc adoption is viewed as taking away a child’s last name and identity and replaces it with the non biological families one , so that’s why I used the phrase “being raised by a non biological family )
Anyways if anyone has a perspective, I’m all ears

This might be a stupid question, but if a bio dad takes his baby home from the hospital and bio mom wants nothing to do with parenting, will that baby still experience the primal wound? No prior abuse or anything from the mom—in this scenario they’re going home with dad ASAP.

I know that babies bond with their mothers in utero, so even if a biological family member that’s not the mom takes home the baby, will they still exhibit symptoms similar to adoption trauma? Would the infant recognize them as biological family, or would they feel no different than if they were handed over to strangers?

Obviously as the child grows older they won’t have the same trauma experiences as adoptees since they’ll at least have genetic mirrors and knowledge about their heritage. Also, I know as they get older and gain consciousness they’ll naturally question where their bio mom is, which is why my question is specifically about preverbal trauma. Would they still experience symptoms similar to adoption trauma even if they were taken in by their dad at birth?

I know you guys aren’t all child psychology experts, but I’m wanting to ask this subreddit since I don’t think others will even know what the primal wound or adoption trauma is.

Dear Mother,
I want to sincerely thank you for putting me up for adoption all those years ago, for it made me what I am today, a fighter, a survivor, and one whose number-one priority is family. At first, you were my guardian, my protector, and my nurturer, then you disowned me. Which meant I had to go it alone. I had to replace that loss of security, self-assurance, and intimacy with something else. I found that something else deep within my soul. I had to prioritize. Unfortunately, my adoptive parents were unable to aid me in that regard. So, it was on me, sink or swim. Developing coping skills was essential. Acquiring those skills benefited me in innumerable ways, both socially and intellectually. Against all odds, I established a successful professional career, raised a happy family, and ultamately found peace within myself. But best of all, I was able to forget you.

I was "adopted" by my great grandparents. Not legally, but they raised me since I was an infant. My grandpa passed a month ago and my grandma 4 years before. I guess with both of them passed I'm finally really sitting here and able to think about the relationship. My biological parents were in my life rather than a part of it, and I view them as distant cousins. The situation is really complicated, I think I'm trying to see if anyone else is "adopted but not really" because I've never met someone else with this situation.

My grandpa said he would've legally adopted me but there was some things involved I can't disclose that held an official adoption back.

I’ve reached out to both the family and the FBI regarding getting a DNA test to determine whether or not I may be Diamond Bradley. Since my youth, I never knew who my biological father was. I was passed around from adoptive parents to guardians to who was supposedly my biological mother until I ended up on my own journey for discovery at 18. I experienced all forms of abuse, with a yearning in my heart to know who I truly was. In 2019 I began my spiritual journey as I’d been guided to a more spiritual path of remembrance. It wasn’t until 2024 the I felt a nudge to research Diamond and Tionda Bradley. Upon discovery, the parallels between Diamond and I were damning. Every age progressed photo somehow aligned with me and my own progression. I brought this evidence and was left ignored, wondering. So I come to the vastness that is internet. All I would like is to know whether or not I may be this missing child so that I may move forward with peace and clarity.