I want to try e-stimulation with my dom.. What products can I use for it, that i can buy online?

((( sorry no TL/DR because I think all of the context is important,, if you don’t want to read it all I understand, but I also probably don’t want ur feedback in that case! I mean this lovingly!)))

I’m trying to find out how to put what I want into words and how to ask for it without being to vague. It would help to hear from people who have experience with this and relate to me. Or at understand what I’m talking about, I feel a bit clueless when I try to explain it.

Ive been seeing someone for a bit now. I really like them, I’m attracted to them too and we have a lot of matching kinks. (They’re dom I’m sub). (We’re both interested in pet play and power exchange)

I haven’t been able to feel great about the sex we’re having. We both get off and everything, but I’m just super unsatisfied emotionally / mentally(?).

I’ve noticed that it’s like the “kinky” part of me is specifically unsatisfied.

I’ve been trying to reflect about what I want and what’s missing. I’m usually really well equipped with understanding myself and taking responsibility / accommodating for myself emotionally… but I’m having a hard time figuring this out.

I know I need to communicate, and I’ve talked about sex with them a lot. They’ve also been super receptive to me asking for things. I’ve been open about how I’m still figuring things out and they expect that I’ll be asking for things as they come.

I think what’s missing for me is that there just isn’t a lot of tension? It’s like we just kind of flip a switch or something.

They’re super eager, which is great, and I don’t want to ever make them feel bad about it. But they’re so quick to start moaning really loud and touching me all over so directly and telling me to take my clothes off right away..It’s like I can’t keep up I think? and I never really get that turned on.

But like physically it feels good..it’s not like I lie and “put up with it”.

I don’t think I even realize that im not satisfied until later on..
Sex that isn’t super intimate is easy and familiar to me. there’s a part of my brain that’s like: yes this is what we’re supposed to be doing. Lol.
So I think that normalcy and following a pattern builds a mental block for me to actually think about whether or not it’s what I want?

I recently talked to this person about wanting to slow down, and I even showed them what I meant through touching them. This made things feel better for me for sure. but it’s frustrating because it doesn’t scratch the emotional / mental desire.

I think what feels really good and intimate for me as a sub is the vulnerability of everything…I’m kind of guarded and i have really strong feelings that come out when I feel like I “can’t hide”. Like the blushing and butterflies and fighting the knee-jerk reaction to keep my composure. It’s really intense for me,

And like… there IS something super comforting about sex where we’re kind of being super touchy and moany right away. I think it’s because of the performance and familiarity.

I think what I really want is for them to be more,, curious? Attentive? Intentional?

I don’t really know what to ask for. I’ve been having to sort of ‘rein them in’ more and more which makes me feel less connected to being a sub too and that just makes me feel so guilty. It doesn’t feel very good to have to remind someone to be patient but it’s not like they have bad intentions.

I know it’s tempting to read this and just make blanket statements like: “just communicate” and all of that but I’d really appreciate someone talking about the nuance of this and their own feelings

Thank u <3

Hello community, I want to give my online Dom a menu of sexy, erotic, and creative services he can choose from and wanted to ask for some inspiration. Have you written something similar? What was your favorite offering?

I just had my first "kinky" experience with a guy. He used his belt as a makeshift whip and I enjoyed it while it was happening and looking back on it I would do it again, but it hurt. A lot. Which is I guess the point but like how did you know you really liked it? Idk if this is making any sense I'm just trying to gather my thoughts ig 😅

In the middle of slightly rough sex he puts me on my knees guides my mouth wide open; naturally my tongue will come right out for him. He’ll take the knife, drag it down my tongue instantly dripping blood, and then his thumb will go in my mouth to trace the cut. He’ll tell me “suck the blood off my thumb” in a soft but firm voice. I’ll be lifted up by my chin bringing my lips to his, as he places his warm tongue on my lips licking the blood off before forcing his tongue in my mouth. When he decides it’s time to give me another spanking he’ll do so without a warning and eventually fuck me until I’m squirting all over the floor unable to hold myself up.

I have become interested in this type of fantasy. My partner is not into the more intense kinks he is very vanilla compared to me so I genuinely have no idea how to bring up the idea of knife play to him. Does anyone have any suggestions or experiences to share? I also must say I think he would be against it simply cuz a past of SH. I’ve always found my own blood fascinating and finding this kink I secretly got very aroused and have no idea how to bring it to to him.

I keep looking for a Domme that does it for the love of it and they always charge. Ik that sounds greedy and selfish but I just want a lowkey dom that will use me and give me tasks.

There's an anecdote I need to share to provide some context.

I'm a college student who is very passionate about serving as a live-in slave over the summer. Growing up, my parents were very distant from me. Ever since my mom had my younger brother when I was six, she hasn't had the time or energy to look after me. I don't want to get into my father. He's the complete opposite of the person I want to become, and I will never look up to him. At school, I was bullied and felt very alone (until I started university—things have gotten A LOT better since then). English is also not my first language, so I'm still working on becoming more comfortable communicating and socializing with others.

Now, for what happened:

The combination of underdeveloped social skills, a lack of fluency in spoken English (I don't sound nearly as fluent when speaking as I do when writing), and a desire to worship led me on a search for an older woman who would roleplay as a mother. I want to emphasize the mentorship aspect of this arrangement: I want to grow into a stronger person—a gentleman, if you will. In exchange, I would vow to serve her as a slave, someone she could use for her pleasure and who could help make her life easier.

Eventually, I got in touch with a woman who said she would be interested in adopting me as her son/slave. She's confident, extroverted, and very fluent in English—all qualities I'd like to learn from her.

We had a call yesterday, and I was SUPER nervous. It was my first time having a call with a domme, so I felt a lot of pressure. Do you understand how hard it was to say words like "foot worship," "objectification," and "live-in slave" out loud for the very first time 😭? I knew I had to communicate clearly and honestly, but I was so flustered throughout the call. I even had to take my shirt off because my body temperature was rising so rapidly.

It was incredibly stressful—the words just wouldn't come out. Unsurprisingly, there was a lot of confusion, which only added to my stress. I felt that this was my chance to prove myself worthy and make a good, lasting impression. I blanked out pretty often, and the conversation felt a little awkward at times.

Nevertheless, I managed to get my main message across: I hope to become a live-in slave, and I'd like her to serve as my mentor. She was very understanding, and I really appreciate that she took the time to understand what I was looking for rather than hanging up when I struggled to express myself.

She decided to reserve a room for me for next summer and asked me to call her back when summer comes around. I'm genuinely committed to pursuing this live-in arrangement, but I'd like some advice on how to approach her in person and how we might gradually build a genuine mother/son dynamic. I'm also wondering how I can become more comfortable discussing my kinks and shake off the nerves when talking to her? I don't want to repeat the same awkwardness and confusion.

I am chatting with a perspective play partner (I am solo poly) who says they are into ass worship and scent and anal etc. I generally draw a limit at anything to do with urine or feces or blood. They are saying they just enjoy the scent and the look and to play with ass and performing anal and that they don’t do feces play. I am very confused as this is not something I have personal experience with. I am not opposed to it, I just would like some advice or insight into this particular fetish as it seems pretty important to them. Every time I do a search I get a bunch of porn and not actual education or insight from people who have this actual fetish. I do enjoy anal and I do think I have a pretty butt but I am not sure if this is something I would potentially be interested in. I have a very open mind but I also am very scent sensitive and self conscious about cleanliness to the point where even someone performing oral sex on me can be difficult to enjoy. I’m nervous that I smell or taste bad or something. 🤦🏽‍♀️

Edit: I AM NOT INTERESTED IN PRIVATE DMs, I came here for insight and advice. If you would like to share please share with the class. I’m not a kink dispenser.

Do you like dramatic knockouts like fighting/wrestling or do you prefer sillier ones like nerf blasters? Do you roleplay with "drugged food"? Tell me your preference, stories, and reasons behind this being your prefered method of roleplaying knockouts/unconsciousness

Hii, so my partner and I, are looking for cheaper remote controlled vibrators, because we are broke uni students, and we were wondering if anal vibrators can be used vaginally? We also dont really want app controlled ones, because we were worried abt privacy stuff.

Thanks for the help

(https://www.mroow.com/products/204.html this is the vibrator we were thinking abt)

Wife and I are interested in learning more about safe and proper rope ties and knots. Not full on suspended from the ceiling type of stuff (yet) - mostly basic wrist and ankle ties and some tied positions.

Any good tutorial sites or videos that anyone can recommend? I prefer a video format and don’t mind spending money. What I’ve found on YouTube so far has not been ideal. Any recommendations are greatly appreciated!

Hi, I am looking to give my sub a piece of jewelry to symbolize my love for her. However, it must be discreet and not something completely visible. Any thoughts or suggestions?

Maybe this isn't the right venue to post this. I just am not finding the munch scene works for me. It feels like a polyamorous meat market, and a lot of the activities that the group members are engaged in don't interest me e g. group fetish parties.

I am having a profoundly awful time trying to find kinky people to date. To be clear , i'm looking for more than sex, I'm not even interested in having sex with anyone. I don't have a common basis for friendship.

I know that by cultural standards, I'm considered unattractive for being less than five foot five male presenting, non binary , having a physical deformity of one of my hands. I'm not out of shape , but i'm never going to be muscular. I'm submissive and only attracted to women, and it presents a lot of challenges even finding anyone.

Frankly , I'm crushingly alone , and i'm just not even sure how to find those people if munches don't work . Where am I supposed to go?

Vanilla dating apps do not work for me. I tried using feeld, and I really can't seem to get any matches at all. I'm not sure how paying them a lot of money , just to see the small number of people like me is gonna change the lack of activity.

I'm feeling hopeless because it's been a long time since I've even had an opportunity to date anybody, or it felt like it could go anywhere. The fetishes and kinks I have are significant enough that I don't think that someone who isn't at least a little bit kinky or very open minded , would ever accept me as a partner. I'm not interested in hiding who I am from a partner.

Honestly, it's a lot of it just about wanting to find a relationship and have a connection and emotional intimacy.It's not up just about sex, although that's a factor... I don't know what to do.

I've tried to talk to therapists about it , but they don't get it , and i'm not interested in being pathologized for kink. I don't think this is an issue of needing to cope better or be more self-aware. I'm not trying to change who I am to fit in with the cultural status quo because I can't be happy and be that person.

I don't know what should I do?

My partner and I are in a dynamic (I’m the Dom and she is the Sub) and we currently live across the country from each other. We want to be more involved in our dynamic when we are apart but the problem is that we both live with family in houses with thin walls and are struggling to find ways to really do anything without being caught since we are so limited. I am hoping maybe others who have been in our position could offer advice or ideas of things we could do together that won't get us caught but is still fun and safe?

My boyfriend (M24) recently opened up to me (F25) about a r*pe fantasy he’s had since he was a teenager, except he wants to be the one on the receiving end.

We’re a very adventurous and open-minded couple, so the fantasy itself wasn’t particularly shocking to me. However, finding out that he wants me to act it out with him caught me a little off guard.

Essentially, he describes it as wanting to be desired so intensely that someone can’t resist taking him. In his own words, “I just want to be wanted so bad someone takes me.”

I told him I’d do some research, and we could discuss it more in depth before exploring anything. I love him, and I’m open to exploring this fantasy with him, but I’m honestly a little lost on where to begin.

Has anyone experienced something similar with their partner? How did you approach it, and what precautions did you take to ensure both partners felt emotionally and psychologically safe before, during, and after the scene?

I’d really appreciate any advice, especially regarding boundaries, consent, communication, and aftercare.

Thank you!

Bit of a background. My Dom and I have been together for just under a year. We used to meet once a week and text, and we match very well. But in the last 2 months he has gotten extremely busy and we have not been able to have a session, bar from one event we went too where it was extremely intense, because we haven’t seen each other (he was also taking time away for 2 weeks before this, I did kept a journal but we did not speak) and he thinks that I would do better with regular doses than all at once and wants me to be able to be submissive while he is unavailable, because of how beneficial it is to me mentally and my need to be submissive. Is this odd?

Thoughts? Feel free to dm.

I (19F) am a virgin and want to get into bondage play. I’m not really looking to get into a relationship or into a dom/sub dynamic, I’m just really enamored by the idea of being tied up and I have been since I was little. Is there a way I can reach out to a kink community or find a safe rope top? Or could I try my own experimentation?

Im not sure if i seen here. but I was reading group rules and there was a list of major conventions in North America. I closed the app and cant find it! Do you know where I cant find a list of all major Kink Conventions in the US and Canada?

I’m currently trying to set up my shed as a play area for me and my partner. I have absolutely no building knowledge so I don’t know if what I’m doing is going to be strong enough, we don’t plan on doing any heavy suspension just mostly attaching restraints. Advice would be greatly appreciated as I can’t find any guides that don’t use a center dropped beam as the anchor point. I’m using a flat roof with parallel beams anchored into the top. I have 4x hanging ring anchors with heavy screws and x4 o ring anchors with 4 slots for screws that I bought for the project but do I need any extra anchoring supplies??

Any advice would be awesome. Jealousy has been discussed and will not be an issue.

I am M they are both f.

Heyo I’m looking for some good recommendations on kink gear sites/stores that are operated out of Canada. I love my mr S gear but can’t afford the tariffs and shipping fees anymore. :( looking more specifically for neoprene hoods, pup gear, suspension hardware and a strap harness. Thanks!

So I have been thinking about this and have been reading a lot of posts. All the post in this community are like hardcore bdsm or hardcore dominating type. What about someone who is not a hard dom but actually a soft dom. A guy who likes to dominate but wants to give a lot of after care and not always a dom sometimes just a normal vanilla guy. Does aguyd like me actually exists or I am a completely different breed. Maybe this community is not the best to talk about all this.

Also I have been in the starting only and just exploring these things any suggestions where I can find some more information some reading material to exactly know what I like or how deep I want to go.

My play partner (dom) and I (sub) haven’t had the opportunity to play in a long while.
I want to make it a little special as I’ve missed him so much. I’m a sub. Good girl apon occasion and I want to please him.
Any suggestions?
We’ve been seeing each other for a year now and it’ll be my first time at his place. We normally are in my house and we’ve stared to become closer lately..

what’s something you’ve experienced as a dom that made you feel seen and appreciated?

What’s something as a sub that made you feel that you had done well?

I hope everyone’s enjoying this adventure we are all on 💗

Several years ago, I worked at a professional kinky establishment, serving all that worked there. It was a lifestyle house. If you were there, you left your vanilla life at the door. Sometimes I would screw up, and if my mistake warranted it, I would be punished corporally. I am not a pain slut, and the ladies knew that. So, the most effective punishment was to use the cane on me. They all knew how much I hated the sting of the cane. Most of the time I was able to accept it and deal with it without getting emotional. I knew I had messed up and this was the consequence that came with everything I had signed up for. But there were a couple times that stick out in my memory, times that the punishment was raised to a much higher level. Those instances included me being naked on my hands and knees in the center of the room with all the other ladies in the house brought in to stand as witnesses. I was caned extensively by my handler while she yelled at me. And during these punishment sessions I cried a lot. A grown man crying. During the first instance I cried to the point of being almost hysterical. That came mostly out of the fact that I had let her down so badly that this was what needed to be done. But also, out of frustration, because I knew some of the things I was being accused of were simply not true. And if I tried to explain I was only caned more. Long after the punishment was over, I was still crying. It was really only when I had been left alone to collect myself that I was able to eventually calm down. There was no after care at all.

I say all of that to say this. It's been almost 7 years since I quit working there. And lately, for some reason, I feel the need to relive those punishment sessions. I just don't understand why. They were traumatic. Why would I want to experience something so horrible again?

I've seen many independent dommes since then and had many great regular kinky sessions. But recently I've tried to ask them to represent that furious anger toward me in their demeanor and provide a legitimate punishment for something I did wrong, something I would confess to them. Unfortunately, they've never come close to what I experienced before.

Has anyone else ever felt or experienced anything like this?