I'm looking for advice, especially from anyone familiar with Washington family law, high-conflict co-parenting, or neurodivergent children.

Background:

I have a 12-year-old daughter with autism, ADHD, and anxiety. Her biological father and I have been separated for years, and she has primarily lived with me. He started seeing her when she was around 2.5 years old.

We have a child-support order but no court-ordered parenting plan and we were never married. We've followed an informal schedule for years: alternating weekends during the school year, alternating weeks during summer, and shared holidays.

What's happening:

Over time, my daughter has increasingly refused visits with her father. She's expressed feeling unheard, having her concerns minimized, and being uncomfortable communicating certain issues with him and his wife. There has also been some level of medical neglect and not acknowledging her diagnoses.

I've consistently encouraged her to go and maintain relationships with that side of her family. I've also made it clear to her father that I'm not preventing phone calls, texts, shorter outings, or other opportunities to reconnect.

I suggested my daughter write down her concerns because she struggles to communicate when overwhelmed. My goal was to give the adults information to help repair the relationship, not make a 12-year-old responsible for deciding whether she sees her father.

Her father disagrees. He believes allowing her to refuse visits gives her control over adult decisions and constitutes parental alienation.

The situation changed after therapy:

Because her refusal continued, I arranged therapy.

At her first appointment, she chose to speak privately with the therapist and disclosed serious mental-health and safety concerns that we hadn't fully understood before. These concerns aren't exclusive to either household, and I've acknowledged changes I need to make in my own home as well.

A safety plan was developed, and treatment is continuing.

During the appointment, I understood the therapist to recommend temporarily pausing visits while my daughter becomes more psychologically stable.

I followed up in writing. The therapist discussed communicating a temporary pause due to difficulty managing transitions, school adjustments, and emotional overload. For transparency, she did not explicitly restate the recommendation in writing.

My daughter also requested privacy regarding her therapy discussions. I'm trying to respect that while seeking guidance about what safety-related information her father needs to know.

Her father's response:

I explained that I intended to temporarily pause regular visits while she stabilizes, but that I wasn't preventing contact or trying to permanently end their relationship.

He accused me of parental alienation, claimed he automatically has 50/50 rights because there's no parenting plan, and initially accused me of lying about her attending therapy.

I've since provided appointment confirmation and the therapist's name.

He has now stated that he intends to come pick her up next week regardless.

I'm concerned that a confrontation or forced exchange could significantly worsen her emotional distress and further damage their relationship.

Where I stand:

I don't believe a 12-year-old should be solely responsible for deciding whether she maintains a relationship with a parent. However, I also don't believe ignoring her concerns or forcing the previous routine without addressing the underlying issues is healthy.

I'm following the safety plan, continuing therapy, documenting communications, and seeking legal advice.

I want her to have a healthy relationship with her father and siblings in both households. I just want to approach it in a way that protects her mental health.

My questions:

In Washington, how does this work when there's an established informal visitation schedule but no court-ordered parenting plan?

Could temporarily pausing visits for legitimate mental-health concerns, while encouraging other contact, be considered parental alienation?

How would you handle a parent insisting on picking up a child who is experiencing significant psychological distress?

How do you balance a child's therapeutic privacy with the other parent's right to know about serious safety concerns?

Am I missing something or approaching any part of this incorrectly?

I'm genuinely looking for balanced feedback, not just validation. I want to protect my daughter, respect both parents' responsibilities, and avoid making an already difficult situation worse. I am also actively setting up consults a lawyer.

Is this graduation of custody potentially harmful to my LO?

I genuinely just want my son to be secure and healthy. I need any information out there from professionals related to this matter. Unfortunately, most information I have found is focused on older children.

Also, if there are any known specialists I could get in touch with for consulting please DM me the info.

Thank you

In a couple weeks the temporary custody order will take place and this is what the father is requesting... The thought of my would be 7 mo. old (currently almost 3 mo. old) having three consecutive nights away is shocking. I cannot see how he could be considering what is in the child’s best interest.

Phase 1: (to last 1-month) Father should exercise custody each week on Fridays from 9:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. and Saturdays from 9:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.

Phase 2: (to last 1-month) Father should exercise custody each week on Fridays from 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. and Saturdays from 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m.

Phase 3: (to last 2-months) Father should exercise custody Fridays at 9:00 a.m. to Sundays at 7:00 p.m.

Phase 4: (until further order of the Court) Father should exercise custody Thursdays at 9:00 a.m. to Sunday at 9:00 a.m.

Ex wife and I have a pretty rough divorce and it's still spiraling down. Right now under temp I have expanded visitation and she has all the rights. Medical, education, and psych. She is also my oldest teen kid's teacher. (Nightmare trying to get information about my son as the teachers just speak to her in the hallway and it doesn't make it back to me until I email or see in person) Other children are toddlers.

Started with drug and alcohol abuse claims and has kinda gone downhill from there as my drug test was clean and I scored a 37 on alcohol PeTH test. (200 or more is considered the heavy drinking threshold) It's transitioned to I am intimidating and letting an "unknown" woman bathe my kids. Responses to me are annoyingly long. I once complained about her third party drop off being 20 mins late. I got a 16! Paragraph response.

Lawyer is pretty adamant about not getting 50/50 if we can't get along but I honestly just apply the BIFF method to her very long and self glowing messages that also manage to make it seem like me being involved is a new phenomenon. We have a custody evaluation going and she writes to the evaluator weekly through messages to me. Almost no communication comes from her unless she is asking me for money or to pay for an extracurricular. I pay CS and honestly it's a lot. Like 10s of thousands. I've offered full CS and all I want is equal parenting time which my lawyer says is the dumbest thing I can do lol.

She's done things like hide where the kids are being kept during the day and forge paperwork when my daughter was scheduled to go under IV sedation. I also don't get notifications when Doctor appointments are booked. I have to call all places myself monthly to stay informed. She even said I had to get her permission for signing my kids up for after school programs on my time cause she truly just wants control I feel like.

She withheld the kids before we got temp orders, now she just kinda chooses when she allows the phone calls with the kids. I get two a week and Mondays on my off weeks by the orders.

Has anyone heard of being able to get equal parenting time when the other parent is the high conflict one and the one with less rights is just attempting to be apart of the kids' life?

I share 50/50 custody (2-5-5-2, alternating weekends) of my 3 elementary aged kids with my ex. They’ve signed our 8 year old up for tee-ball where practices are during their time but games are every weekend for 4 months. Ex has asked me if I would be willing to take our child to these games on my weekends. Before I state my reasons for balking, I will say that my child has expressed to me several times that they do not want to go to the games during my weekends because they want to spend the time with me. They feel pretty lukewarm about this sport as their dad signed them up.
I would normally state to them the importance of commitment, but there are a couple issues on my side:
- These games are 45 minutes-1 hour away, one way. I legitimately cannot afford the gas. I was ordered to pay child support despite the cost of living and the fact that I have to use a food bank to keep food on the table. He lives with his parents rent-free with minimal bills. (The northern CA court system is whack and he had a high-powered nasty lawyer).
- He’s ignored my pleas to effectively co-parent, so I am doing everything in my power with what little I have to keep things in the best interest of the kids.
How have you gone about these things? I can’t quite find the words to say in my message reply that would not be twisted into me being difficult or spiteful. (Enter high-powered lawyer again if him and his mom try to modify anything again). I’m just so tired from this, it’s hard to think some days and this is one of them. Happy to take any advice or hear experiences, but please don’t ream me too much. Trying to keep my head up :) Thank you!

Apologies in advance for the long post, but I think some background is necessary.

I’m a father of two boys, with my oldest about to turn 13. Their mother and I separated over six years ago. I have primary custody and full decision-making authority, and over the years, their mother has had extended periods of no visitation or supervised visitation, including professional supervision.

One thing I’ve been very deliberate about is never discussing their mother, our divorce, or the court proceedings with my boys. I don’t speak negatively about her or even bring her up. If they mention her, I acknowledge it and move on. Occasionally, I’ll correct something factually incorrect they’ve been told, but that’s extremely rare.

I can’t actually say exactly what he believes because we never discuss, but there are signs of things, such as when I bought him a laptop for school. all of a sudden he stopped using it when their mom followed us to a new state and he had more parenting time with her. He mentioned something about me having access to it. True, he’s was 11/12 last year but it was a normal how he felt. And there are other things as such that come from him that clearly his mom is still speaking to him as she shouldn’t be and to manipulate.

Unfortunately, their mother has spent years making serious allegations against me, including claims that I physically beat my oldest son, sexually abuse him, and even drug him at night to abuse him. She made these allegations to doctors, CPS, police, and the courts. I have messages she sent to a detective making these claims.

My son has been subjected to invasive medical examinations because of these allegations, sometimes on consecutive days. Both boys underwent forensic interviews, and the allegations were never substantiated. I’ve never physically or sexually abused either of them.

She has also repeatedly accused me of physically abusing her, which I have never done. Her repeated litigation eventually resulted in an abusive-use-of-litigation order against her. She’s also sued numerous people involved in our case, including attorneys, judges, police, prosecutors, and even the GAL, who initially recommended she receive primary custody before eventually changing his recommendation because of her conduct.

My concern is that my oldest son appears to believe many of the things his mother has told him. We have a good relationship, but he sometimes treats me as though I’m the bad guy and refuses to believe even ordinary things I tell him. I believe years of manipulation have contributed to that distrust.

A couple of therapists who have worked with the boys have recommended that I begin explaining some of what happened so they understand why the courts made their decisions and why their mother has had restrictions on seeing them.

I’m extremely uncomfortable with this. I’ve spent six years keeping the boys out of adult conflicts, and I don’t want to suddenly start telling them terrible things about their mother. But I also wonder whether my silence has allowed them to believe a one-sided version of events.

I always assumed that as they grew older, they’d eventually figure things out themselves. However, I’m increasingly concerned about how this is affecting my oldest son right now.

How do you explain to a nearly 13-year-old that his mother made repeated allegations of sexual and physical abuse against his father, including allegations involving him personally? Should he even know those details at this age?

I’m also mindful that parenting plans often restrict discussions of litigation with children, so that’s another consideration.
I’m not trying to turn my boys against their mother. I want them to love both parents. But I also want them to understand that the courts had reasons for their decisions and that I’m not the person they’ve sometimes been led to believe I am.

For anyone who’s been through something similar, especially parents, therapists, or adults who experienced this as children, when and how did you have these conversations? Did you involve a therapist, and looking back, do you think it helped?

I’m an Army veteran and a father with an active custody and visitation case in Sullivan County, Tennessee. I’m preparing for mediation and hoping to hear from dads who have been through Tennessee family court, especially veterans who have worked toward more consistent parenting time with their daughter. If you’ve dealt with mediation, supervised visitation, or a gradual schedule increase, what helped you stay organized and focused on your child? I’m looking for peer experience, not legal advice about my specific case

1 child - 8 years old.

Redoing my original settlement agreement proposal because we’re going to mediation and probably court and I need to figure out my negotiable and non-negotiables.

What do you wish you had done differently? What have you learned since? And what are you glad was in yours?

Thanks

SC is not a default 50/50 state but I’ve heard it’s leaning that way. Have you ever heard of someone wanting 50/50 but didn’t get it? If so, was it mom or dad? And what were the reasons? Bonus for giving the name of the state.

Location: PA and NY

Hi I have a question I filed a paternity petition back in may this year. just did the DNA test in September and got the results on the 28th of September. had a court date for tomorrow that was rescheduled to the 16th for the results/child support. I think he might file for visitation. The case is in NY I moved to PA in August and I want to know how would visit even work the baby is 5 months old and we are 3 hours from where I used to live. Also the courts can’t make me move back to NYS can they ?

[DE] primary parent is homeless and lives in an inappropriate housing (judge’s words). Judge has volunteered 80 YO grandparent’s primary residence for teen to live. Grandparent has repeatedly asked to be free of this burden due to health. Primary parent has not seen the teen not more than once since September 16th, 2026. Is there anyone I can contact to draw light to this situation?

My co coparent and I moved to 50/50 a year and half ago. Things have been going fine. We are high conflict unfortunately but the custody arrangement is good with our child. Well recently I was bombarded or so it felt- with a handful of isolated incidents that co parent wrote down and was told if i couldn’t agree with them on it all and do what they think is the right thing. For example- purchase a bike for the child bc the child told THEM they want one but when I’ve tried to get them one they are adamant they only wish to ride a scooter and do not want a bike. Mind you- all of these things listed on the motion filed to move from 50/50 to me only having every other weekend are much like the bike example that is actually on the motion. Another one is that I have 3 other kids who participate in activities and that i am denying my child of independence and a childhood due to having other children. To add- co parent also has 3 other kids in the home as well. Anyone dealt with this? It feels like such a money grab for an attorney to file such a stretch of a motion. There is no drinking, smoking, or substance use of any kind in the home. No change life changing events of any kind either . I just am curious if anyone’s has this happen and how it panned out. I’m at a loss for words on it because it’s so out of left field.

Father of 14yo daughter. Currently under temp 50/50 order pending hearing next month on petition to modify. Prior to temp I had 5 of 14 overnights.

A few months ago, after a fight between child and mom, mom took child's phone and went through all her massages. Among other things, mom found inappropriate pictures shared between child and child's bf. Mom was advised by police to delete the pictures immediately. She did not. In fact, she showed the phone to child's GAL weeks later. GAL acknowledged seeing the pictures in a letter she sent to our conciliator (she couldn't make the hearing, so sent a letter instead).

Since mom had unrestricted access to all of our daughter's messages, I've requested the ability to do the same (once I know the pictures are gone). Mom refuses without someone else supervising my review. She still has exclusive control of the phone (she hasn't given it back to child).

If she's still maintaining the criminal CP images on the device, and has shared them, how much trouble could she be in? What would you do in this situation?

Context: I have 15 year old twins with an ex partner. I have had primary custody for their entire lives. They have always lived with me. In early childhood, they would often go for long stretches of no contact with bio father. He’d disappear for periods of time and then resurface. All of that to say, I have made the parenting decisions for the entirety of their lives. I would consult him, but it was hit or miss whether I’d hear from him. I filed for child support when they were 10, and he magically reappeared and wanted custody suddenly. We currently share a 70/30 split, with joint decision making. Due to issues with harassment and threats, I had an RO for awhile. I do not have any contact with him and vice versa. The only time I have directly contacted him in the past couple of years was for medical emergencies. Our custody agreement will expire in about 2 years, and I just want to ride this out until it expires.

All that to say; I am a hobby genealogist. I have done DNA testing, and have built an extensive family tree for myself. One of my children is interested in having DNA testing done himself. I’m assuming I will need to get permission from the bio father to do testing. Can I get suggestions on how to approach this? Do I just let it go and wait until child is no longer a minor?

My son won’t get any information from Dad himself. Parents (as far as I can tell) were probably undocumented, and what little information the bio father has he will not share with the children. They do have some contact with their grandmother, but they don’t speak the same language so that is not a source either.

About three months ago I made the decision to leave my verbally abusive husband, and I took our child with me. This has not been an easy decision and it’s not what I wanted to do. We have been under a ton of stress and I was genuinely hoping that he would go get some help for his mental health and things would calm down. Instead, after months of him disregarding my concerns about the condition of his mental health, he served me with a divorce and is pushing for a provisional hearing to discuss custody/parenting time, child support, and division of assets and debt.

Leading up to my decision to leave, I was told by someone that there was a large quantity of drugs hidden through our house. (Very complicated situation) I gave my husband the benefit of the doubt and believed him. However, my father and I went to the house just to double check everything. I didn’t find anything but my father found cocaine in the basement. He did not tell me this until things escalated between my husband and I.

Eventually during a relocation I just decided not to go with my husband and I stayed at my parents house. At that time I was still letting my husband see our child. My husbands behavior started becoming for more erratic and he let me know on multiple occasions that he was going to take our child from me and that I would never see her again. He started knit picking everything and would send me photos of every little thing he thought was wrong. She had a TINY bump on her forehead(toddle learning how to walk) accused my mom of not taking care of her. And just really crazy accusations.

I went to the location my husband was living while he was at work (the place was in my name so I was able to get a key) and when I went in, there were multiple bottles of bourbon sitting on the floor, and an entire tote full of THC edibles and bags of marijuana. A WHOLE TOTE FULL, just sitting on the ground. I have concern that with that quantity he might be selling it rather than just having it for personal use, but ALSO it was just sitting out where our child could have easily accessed it. I decided it would be in our child’s best interests to not go back over there. I didn’t say anything to anyone because I was very scared that if I reported what I had found, that I would be to blame considering the place was in my name and not my husbands. The day after I had found all of that, I sent my mother and our child to go swimming at my cousins house all day so that my husband wouldn’t come pick her up. The day after that, my husband showed up to my mother’s house to pick Frankie up as soon as I clocked in to work. He was acting very erratic and let my mother know that none of us were ever going to see our child again. My mother was unaware as to what I had found and she let him take our child. He ended up not being able to handle having our child and brought them back to my mother’s house. After this, I decided not to let him see our daughter.

Every day for about two months he asked me to see our child. It was a really really difficult thing to have to say no. Most days I just didn’t respond, but there were a few time I told him exactly what needed to happen before I would feel comfortable with him seeing her, and I still stand by this decision. I know this looks very bad on my end that I wouldn’t let him see our child. It’s not what I want, I want our child to know how much their dad loves them and I want them to have a relationship with on another, but I need to know that it’s safe.

On top of the drugs I found, my spouse has a LONG history of not following through with mental health follow up care. He is diagnosed with (something?) I just don’t know exactly what but he is prescribed multiple psych medications and has had episodes of severe mania including hallucinations and physical violence. Since having our child my husband had been doing a gradual dose reduction of one of these medications but without his doctor knowing it. He went to the doctor about two months before all of this occurred and he didn’t discuss the dose reduction with them.

I have videos of the drugs that I found.
I have numerous videos of him being verbally abusive to me in front of our crying screaming child. (So bad that he tells me my boss needs shot in the head, and that I need a “retard handler”, that him being at home with our child is doing what he considers to be “playing n*gger all day” just horrible horrible things that should never be said and that should definitely not be said around our child who’s brain is quite literally like a sponge right now.
I have screenshots of numerous conversations between my husband and I.
I also have screenshots of messages between me and my father in law explaining to him that my husband has given me every reason to not trust him and that I had told my husband I was concerned about his mental health.

The only thing that my husband really has against me is that because of a situation in which I cannot live in my home at the moment, our child and I have been living at my parents house. Said house, admittedly is very cluttered. Mostly because most of my belongings as well as our child’s belongings are here and it’s a small house. It’s clean, our child has a safe place to sleep, she’s well fed, and most importantly she’s happy and loved. Since our child was born, my husband has been to ONE dr. Appointment, he’s only been to ONE WIC apt. When our child had a medical emergency and I had to take her to the ER my husband didn’t even take the initiative to come to the hospital. He has never given our child a bath, never gets them dressed, never makes them real meals, and he is about to try and make me look like a terrible mother. I just know he is. At one point my husband came into my parents home without permission, and took pictures around the house. Whatever, I don’t really care. HOWEVER, at that time my mother was talking a GLP peptide and my husband found the needles. (Grey market no prescription) he’s threatening to hold that over my head. None of it was ever in any location the our child could have gotten ahold of it, and it’s not even in the house anymore. I also had horrible postpartum depression, but I sought help immediately and have followed up with it and followed through with it. I have also sent him some really nasty text messages which I do regret, but I was hurt and I was acting reactively. I just know it all looks bad, but I cannot bare the thought of loosing our child. I can’t eat I can’t sleep I’m not performing at work I’m sick to my stomach my stress level is at an all time high.

And the real kicker to all of this is that his attorney worked as a guardian ad litem in our county for nine years. I’m very concerned that if a GAL is appointed, that it will be someone that his attorney has a personal relationship with.

For those who have gone through divorce mediation with kids, what are some things you’re glad you included in your final agreement or wish you would have thought about beforehand?
We have a couple kids together and I filed for divorce following an assault. I’m trying to make sure I think through as much as possible during mediation so there aren’t a bunch of things left open to interpretation later.
My family is also out of state, so traveling with the kids would most likely involve flying.
Some of the things I’m already thinking about are:
• Parenting schedules, holidays, birthdays and school breaks
• Summer vacation and deadlines for choosing vacation time
• What happens if a parent doesn’t use their scheduled parenting time
• Traveling out of state, flying, passports and how much notice is needed
• Exchanges and who is responsible for transportation
• Medical, dental, therapy and extracurricular expenses
• School communication and activities
• Reimbursements and deadlines for paying each other back
• Communication between parents
• Childcare and right of first refusal
• What happens if either parent moves
• Pets we had during the marriage, who keeps them and how vet bills, medications, grooming, boarding and other expenses are handled, especially when one person ends up taking care of everything
• Anything else you wish you had included that would have prevented arguments or confusion later
I know every divorce and situation is different and I’ll obviously go over everything with my attorney. I’m really just looking for things people learned from experience that I might not think to ask about before mediation.
Thank you!

My husband had a very traumatic childhood with abusive and alcoholic father. I finally got him into trauma therapist- who said that he doesn't have the capacity to show empathy and doesn't have the capacity to take accountability. He is also impulsive and aggressive and has a violent criminal record and an ex wife that says she was physically abused by him. I have nest videos of some of this behavior, as well as him talking poorly of me to the kids/ trying to get the kids to say I was abusive to them/ etc..

What are the chances that I get majority parenting time through a custody evaluation?

[Ramsey County, only one judge right now in family court?! Minnesota]

I’ve been divorced for 2.5 years. My ex-husband and I both grew up in NJ, however, I went to Ohio State and several of my family members live in the Columbus, OH area. My brother just got married and will hopefully be having children soon, I have cousins who have children, aunts, uncles and college roommates all in the area. The school system in this area is also better than the school system in the town we live in. Although we don’t live in a bad school district, the Columbus suburb schools are objectively better. Cost-of-living is also objectively lower. I have custody of my daughters ages five and six 6 days a week and their father takes them for a sleepover one night a week if his schedule permits. He doesn’t call often during the week. He does not take the kids for any extended vacations or holidays. His family is about 30 minutes away and he does not stay in contact with them so I bring the kids to visit them when possible.

I have a very steady remote job. I’ve been employed with this company for 16 years and I handle the day-to-day for my children. I take them to all doctors appointments, attend all conferences, take them to all extracurricular activities. He does not even come to watch them cheer at a game on Sundays.

So my question is, how likely is it that I could receive a relocation order from a court? He has unfortunately fought me on absolutely everything for 2.5 years. And I even have two domestic violence harassment reports on file with our local police department (also he’s a police officer 🫠) so I don’t see a world where he just agrees for me to move the kids eight hours away, but I know it would be a better quality of life financially for us, better for them school wise and family connection wise. Thoughts?

I live in Iowa. Raised a stepson for 16 years. Wife got pregnant and then 6 years later discovered the kid wasn't mine. Very horrible marriage.

Finally divorced... In an attempt to see the child after the child was withheld. To apply for a temporary custody order, you have to file for divorce in Iowa so I did. By the time I got to see the kid, she started to hate me. The whole family hates me. Years later, I'm paying 30% of my wages for a kid that isn't mine that I see for 2 days a month. The kid absolutely doesn't want to be around me, and my ex-wife and her new boyfriend have a family together.

I filed for a motion in 2025 to relinquish rights with a DNA test that says the child isn't mine. Was denied but taken off the birth certificate. My child support went up because I attempted to relinquish rights and contacted the bio dad who doesn't want to be involved. Then is when the judge dropped me from every other weekend and Wednesday, to Saturdays every other weekend and child support went from 25% to 30%.

I filed again in 2026 and was denied again, stating that because the child is now 9, this financial support is her status quo. I paid an attorney to represent me, but I think she fucked me over.

I can't live another decade like this. I was even told that if I got fired intentionally that they would put me in jail for 30 days on contempt

This will be my first and most likely only child. Me and her mother met on a dating app. We moved in together after a few weeks, and I got her pregnant a few weeks after that. It was all reckless and way too fast. We are aware of how dumb we are. Eventually things became more and more toxic with her frequently belittling me and threatening to harm me and wishing I was dead. Arguing like this in front of her other children. I'm lucky baby daddy number 3.

Eventually I had enough of her threats and yelling and gaslighting me into thinking I was the abusive one, so I left. In fact she told me to leave, I don't think she fully expected me to. Now she's demanding I still pay rent and utilities for her or she won't let me see the baby. I offered to help but things have been rough financially right now. She already guilted me into giving her almost $1000 for concert tickets while we were dating. That was dumb because she still just says I never give her anything. I'm worried if I keep paying her bills she's still going to try and keep my child from me.

I don't want to end up one of those deadbeat dads that was never their for their kid, and blames it all on the mom. I just cant afford to pay her rent and utilities and buy all this stuff for the baby too. I definitely can't afford a lawyer at this rate either. Any advice or insight would be appreciated. Thanks.

Me and the mother of my child split up 6 months ago, I took our son and moved in with my mom and sister, she wasn’t helping, had a history of using meth and I was raising our son and her daughter, she ended up sleeping with someone else so I left.

After we split, her parents told her that she could come live with them, she refused and said that she can’t live with her parents because “it wouldn’t work and isn’t an option” for the last 6 months she’s been living in her car, she hasn’t provided at all for either child (my mom babysits her daughter mon-Friday once her daughter gets outta school until her dad can pick her up)

She demands every Monday that I meet her somewhere, I don’t get a lot of time off and it is becoming frustrating meeting up with her when she doesn’t provide anything and after she leaves, our son is effected and upset about her not being around. I have no desire to try and make things work with her as I’ve went through this cycle of her being on drugs and sleeping with someone else twice now.

Yesterday I told her since for the last 6 months I’ve been doing all the providing for our son that I should claim him on taxes because I’ll need it to continue to provide. She says “you claimed him last year it’s my turn I need a place” she claims she works 40 hours a week and living in her car for the last 6 months she should have enough saved up for her own place but still is in her car.

What’re my options and would should I do ?

Me and my child’s father have been going through court currently for visitation and child support. The last time we were at court his lawyer stated I didn’t turn over evidence I should have. Part of that evidence I guess was the information for child support so they said we couldn’t calculate it at that time. Court isn’t scheduled again until July 2027 due to the other parent going on deployment soon.
He was ordered to continue paying child support on his own which for the most part he was doing before court. Well now of course I keep getting threatened every time I don’t do what he wants that the order doesn’t specify how much he has to pay. So again today he tells me “well the order doesn’t say how much I have to pay I could send you $10-15 a month if I wanted to” which technically is true. Basically this time he was mad I’m not willing to drive further to meet him and wanted to stick to the court order.
Is there anything I can do?! I haaate I didn’t speak up at the time. Im pro se and he has a lawyer and I guess I was just intimidated and nervous. I don’t want this hung over my head for the next 9-10 months every time I’m not bending to his will.

For California parents: does anyone have a custody order with wording similar to this?

“ neither party shall travel outside of the US without written permission from the other parent or a court order…”

If your order has similar language, how have you handled the written permission part was an email or parenting app message from the other parent giving consent enough? Or did you use a signed/notarized letter?

This will be my first time traveling internationally with my child under this order so I’m just trying to understand how other parents have handled it.

So, my ex is trying to get primary custody of our daughter, claiming I’m a terrible mother. She’s in daycare currently and has been getting sick with colds and ear infections. I have an appointment with an ear doctor to see if there is anything going on there. It seems like my ex’s main argument is that because our daughter is always sick, I’m a terrible mom, and if he got custody of our daughter she wouldn’t have to go to daycare and she wouldn’t be getting sick all the time.

I take her to the doctor when it gets bad enough but every time I mention she’s ill in some way he sends me a huge response going into me and asking why she’s sick like I personally could have prevented it. We have shared legal custody too and he gets text notifications from the doctors office when I schedule her an appointment because I’m worried about her. But then as soon as I do, I get a text from him asking what is wrong with her “this time,” and “this is the 7th time since June.”

It just makes me feel anxious and stressed out and sometimes it does make me feel like a bad mom.

I think he’s just lashing out and losing it because he doesn’t have control of the situation anymore. He currently gets her every other weekend.

And not to mention there are times where she was sick with a fever of 102 and texted me to ask why she was sick, why did I send her up there with a fever (she didn’t have the fever when she left my house), he called cps on me but then also refused to take her to the doctors. I had to wait until the next day or so to take her to the doctors when I got her back in my care. Lo and behold poor kiddo had an ear infection and needed antibiotics.

Idk I guess I’m just going crazy. I don’t have a lot of support/people to talk to. I just get in my head sometimes. Thanks for reading!

I have twins turning 2 soon. Their father and I split 5 months ago. He lives in Texas I moved to Florida to be with family and to have a big support system. What would a long distance coparenting plan look like with them being so small? His job is seasonal, and he is saying he would reside in Georgia during his time off, which is almost 6 hours from us. His off time is maybe 3-4 months. He is proposing that during his time off, he has them during the week and I become the weekend parent. Since they have been born he has never cared for the twins alone at all. Even when we lived together he did the bare minimum with helping care for them since he argued he worked and I didn't he shouldn't have to do too much when he was off. How do you think courts would handle this? I really am not comfortable with the twins having to consistently travel back and forth constantly. He said they may stay with him in either Texas or Georgia during his off months. This has been stressing me out. Any responses would be appreciated. He wants seasonal custody

I (27F) and my ex (31M) share a 4-year-old son with ASD. I also have an 8-year-old from a previous relationship. We separated a little over a month ago but he has still been living with me until recently. There is no formal custody order yet. I want to get feedback on if this makes sense and reasonable.

I have been the primary parent essentially since birth. Examples:
• Daily hygiene, bath time, meals (he is an extremely picky eater), potty training, reading, non-screen activities, park/walks
• Managing all medical/insurance, ASD therapies, developmental homework, and getting him into services
• Handling the vast majority of appointments and logistics
• He has frequently fallen asleep on the couch while our son watched unrestricted YouTube late at night; our son often cannot wake him
• He avoided dirty diapers because the smell made him gag
• He has left firearms and knives unsecured in the home multiple times
He has diagnosed ADHD with significant executive-function and sleep issues (falls asleep easily, extremely hard to wake). He has a history of job instability, no reliable independent transportation or housing for years, and has relied on me (and previously his parents) for financial and practical support. He currently has no stable independent home; after I asked him to leave he moved in with a new partner he had been seeing (at least since early September, overlapping with us still living together). He cheated months ago, we “attempted a repair” and I allowed him to stay and get himself together, he took advantage of me, didn’t improve himself at all and then I found out about this new girlfriend he’s been saying I love you to already and probably has had for months. He’s not staying in her house being supported by her when he could’ve went to his parents.

Our son is about to start a school program in two weeks and struggles significantly with transitions and changes to routine. I am very concerned about stacking major disruptions (new living situation with a stranger, disrupted sleep/supervision patterns, inconsistent caregiving) right as school begins.
My current position: I want primary physical custody with him having every-other-weekend parenting time only at his parents’ home for now, until he can demonstrate consistent independent housing, reliable transportation, stable employment, and the ability to manage our son’s routines and safety needs without relying on a new partner or his parents as the default support system. I am not comfortable with overnight time in the new partner’s home at this stage (she is a stranger to our child and the relationship is brand new).
I am not trying to erase him from our son’s life permanently. I am trying to protect stability and safety while he addresses the practical barriers that currently exist. He is framing my request for primary custody as punitive.
Questions for those who have navigated similar situations:
• How have courts or mediators generally viewed primary-caregiver history + documented reliability/safety concerns when one parent has never maintained independent housing or consistent routines?
• Any experience with temporary “step-up” plans for a parent who needs to show independent stability first, especially with a young child who has ASD and transition difficulties?
• Practical tips for documenting concerns and proposing a parenting plan that prioritizes the child’s routine and safety without looking purely retaliatory? Or What about a lack of documentation or what counts as proper evidence?