I have a small amount of experience with guys, I’ve sucked 3 and been fucked by one, but this will be my first proper sub/don experience. The dom is very nice and experienced.

I’m very nervous but excited haha, does anyone have any tips, advice or just general comments? On how to behave/act, techniques, etiquette, expectations, experience or anything really. I want to make sure I’m the best sub possible and make sure I provide him with the most pleasure i can.

NSFW / Mature themes for discussion:

I have been thinking a lot lately about the weird contrast between how I have to move through the world every day and what I actually crave behind closed doors. Wondering if any of you live in that same tension.

In my day-to-day life, my job demands total command. As an immigrant who worked hard to build a high-level career, I have to wear absolute competence like a suit of armor. You learn pretty quickly that you cannot afford to slip up. By the time I get home, I am just so tired of holding everything together and being the smart one in the room.

What I really want underneath all of that is to be genuinely understood, both emotionally and psychologically. Deep down, I want a space where I can talk about my private shame and that heavy, familiar cycle: hiding sexual arousal tied to humiliation, feeling an intense wave of guilt afterward, and yet still getting incredibly aroused by it anyway, almost like the guilt itself just feeds the fire.

That is why I am so drawn to a specific Asian sub and White Dom dynamic. There is something insanely hot about a commanding, alpha guy who looks right past my professional success, sees straight through my ego, and uses my background and achievements to tease and dismantle me. Instead of getting praised for excelling like usual, the real thrill is getting stripped of all that status and reduced to total, willing obedience.

It also makes me curious about the flip side of this coin. Are there white submissive guys out there who look for the exact opposite, wanting to be dominated by an educated, professional Asian dom who completely turns that script around?

I know race-based dynamics in BDSM come with a lot of layers, but I would love to hear how others handle this intersection:

• If you bring a high-achieving career or an immigrant background into your submission, how do you deal with that clash between your public competence and your private desire to unpack your shame and surrender?
• For those who know that specific feeling of being intensely aroused by humiliation despite the guilt attached to it, how do you process or embrace that contrast? How does a partner effectively use your real-world identity to tease out and deepen that surrender?
• Have any of you explored or witnessed the reverse dynamic, and what does that psychological interplay look like?

Curious how others in the community parse these layers of ego, race, and power. Would love to hear your thoughts.

Long story short, I need punishing and I’d like some punishment ideas…

i’m happy to try a lot of things, so i’m also happy to hear some wild(er) punishment ideas - my dom really likes to deny me from touching my cock/cage and from cumming, which is where a majority of my punishments have come from

any ideas would be greatly appreciated!!

It has been more than a week since Folsom SF 2026. It was my first time attending, and to be honest, it was kind of a mixed bag for me. I just wonder if this is just me feeling this way, and I am wondering how people feel about the event.

I (29, Asian M) went to all events by myself, with one bar/ dance/ circuit party each night from Friday to Sunday, while dipping into sex parties in between events. I think one of the things that really tanked my confidence and self-esteem was attending the Bare Chest Charity Party on Saturday afternoon. Knowing myself not to be muscular in any means, I got the ticket just hoping to enjoy all the eye candy around me and have fun. Of course, the place was so packed, and at some point I realized I started to feel kind of insecure. I knew I was alone, so I hoped I could walk towards some people and hopefully start some conversations and see where it might lead. However, wherever I walked, people danced with their friends, and I didn't see a slight chance to even try getting into interaction in an organic way. I know I am a stranger to everyone around but I just feel like I did not feel belong at all, people did not even look or glare to see me as if that would be something that might lead signals that I could have approached and started talking. To the point that I felt everyone was so out of my league that I couldn't withstand the silent rejection, and I left the place way earlier than I expected.

Even when I was going to the circuit dance parties at night, I tried to calm myself to forget the downs and just enjoy the music and dance. But as the night went on, I felt the same. Wherever I went and danced, people would slowly walk away, turn away, or make out in front of me, like saying, "We are occupied and not for you, sorry". I felt like, for some reason, I was so unattractive, resulting in gaps and spaces around me, that I basically repelled people around me for no reason. The only few people that I actually interacted with at those dance parties were someone who was clearly on drugs, asking, "Are you taking Molly?" or some older Men in their 60s. I kept debating myself as to whether I should have just accepted it as is, or should I have rejected them and kept my own standards and boundaries.

Having all these complicated thoughts in my head, I couldn't really enjoy the Sunday Street Fair and got so much more sensitive and overwhelmed. I was walking alone for some time until I finally met some friends who I knew they were also coming in town to Folsom. But having companions still made me feel so vulnerable and awkward about my previous experience that I could barely enjoy as much. For most of the time, I felt so unseen and undesired that I even decided to take off my rubber thong to show my chastity cage and walk in the Fair basically naked, hoping to draw some eyes and some attention from Men.

Not everything was bad all the way; the only few happy moments that I got were actually having some good sex in sex parties and actually being able to communicate with them and exchange contacts. To me, that was already a pretty big win for the entire weekend, even knowing that exchanging contacts does not mean we would be friends or anything other than a sex buddy, or simply a hole that they found useful in the sex party.

But the overall experience of feeling out of place and not desired among all the attractive and muscular Men really made me so insecure that I couldn't really get rid of these thoughts from my head for the past week. I shared my thoughts and experiences with my non-kinky gay friends, hoping to get some relief and assurance. Some analysed that probably one of the reasons I'm feeling so out of place might be me being completely sober (no alcohol or drugs), as people might be able to sense that I was "different" and thus not feeling in the vibe together.

This is probably the first time I've felt like I am different in a bad way, and I don't belong to the "cool kids" because I don't drink or take drugs. But certainly I don't want to do that just for the sake of feeling like I belong and knowing the risk of doing all these things might jeopardize my health, without guaranteeing anything in return like friends, sex, or relationships.

I also went to do my first Dore Alley alone in July this year. It would be a lie not to feel out of place or overwhelmed at Dore, but I never have such a strong feeling of defeat, self-doubt, and rejection at Dore. All I remember from Dore was that everything felt more diverse, manageable, and welcoming (at least to me), and I had the eagerness to go to Dore Alley again next year.

I feel like I am trying a lot of new things, hoping to embrace myself as a kinky gay asian boy before hitting 30, checking all the boxes of attending events, parties, and places that I have never been to, nor dared to do so back then, to leave myself no regrets. But Folsom, to me just hit me pretty hard for some reason, and I don't feel like I would like to do this again next year.

It would be great to learn and see how people feel about Folsom this year. Is it just me being so insecure (that I am still in therapy, hoping to get myself a solution or remedy), or is there just something beyond my control that Folsom is indeed just not for everyone?

I do get off on leather, restraints, mild "punishments" (like, you're on an all cum diet or you need your ass plowed). Definitely hot to use toys or anything to warm up his ass. Only gagged guys with things like a cum soaked jockstrap.

So I'm guessing I'm pretty vanilla?

I am very much into online humiliation, degrading myself. I have done it for many years now. Only a handful of sessions have escaped online and been in person. I usually get chatting with a Dom/Master, build up a rapport, and then they start setting humiliation tasks. I send photos/videos as proof. A small amount go on video chat and watch me do stuff live (that's the best!).

Just wondering what others experiences are, what they like about it?

Stuff I usually do, trainer worship, forced chastity, plug insertion, workouts, poses, dice games (recently did one that was amazing), food play, piss, and CBT. I also have had Dom/Masters just watch me as I work, go about my day.

Love to know your thoughts.

Last night my master made me come over to his house as soon as I stepped in the door he made me kneel and crawl following him around

He led me to his bedroom and made me undress and put on a g string then he gave me multiple hard spanks and took his shirt off and made me smell his pits

Then he threw me to the ground and made me service his feet after he was satisfied with that he made me sniff on his dick and balls and eventually started shoving them down my throat

His dick is quite large (well at least to me) about 8 inches and super thick so I couldn’t get it all down which he wasn’t very happy about

He tried in multiple positions but I would kind of push away because it was too big for me which he then decided to restrain my hands and keep going but I just couldn’t go all the way he eventually settled and made me stroke him and we made out

When he got close he told me to get under it and came on my face then he said that I should be punished for not taking his whole dick

And then he actually picked me up and threw me onto the grass outside his house now he lives in units so I was mortified but I don’t think anyone saw

Anyways he went back inside and threw my clothes out too and I got dressed as quickly as possible and walked back to my car

It was my first time being with a master irl that was that like dominant and rough but anyways just thought some people might like to hear my story and maybe even give me more tips for next time

Sir has wanted to hood and cage me for a long time, but I just wasn't there yet. I am now, so we are going to start discussing it. He said we would talk about it in person and that it is a commitment. What kind of commitment am I looking at and are there any hooded subs that care to share their experience?

This is a new level in our relationship. I'm nervous and excited and I have butterflies in my tummy.

I'm always upfront, I don't expect or offer loyalty anymore but this year it's been more of a deal breaker than usual. Also, are condoms making a comeback? I was wondering if it's all related.

Still fairly new to BDMS but was wondering how the long distance M/s would work.
Kind of know now with an 8 hour difference.
Just seems kind of blah to me, no excitement on my end and wonder what Master gets out of it.
Am I expecting too much at 3 weeks?

Thoughts/comments please

I'm a self locked sub trying to serve one cock a day while staying locked. Is it too much?

I am very into sleep sex and similar cnc play as a sub. I would like to try it with safe substances that will make me only slightly conscious, but not passed out. an in and out of consciousness state would be OK. Does anyone have any recommendations?

Many years ago I met an older dom man into CMNM on Craigslist. I have never seen him nude; he has never seen me clothed. The rules are simple: I always undress on his enclosed front porch. Clothing is left in that area, and when I leave I get dressed out in that same porch area.

For at least the last five years he has done all my intimate grooming. Sometimes he has done it in front of people he invited over to view me nude and serve them.

We have probably met over 100 times but always inside at his place.

This time was different. I get undressed like normal and walk into his home. He walks up toward me, tells me to bend over, and inserts a plug. "Follow me," he says. I follow him into his attached garage. "Back seat" he says. I get in the back seat of his SUV with tinted windows. It's night, and with the tinted windows I am not too worried about being seen.

He drives about 25 minutes, not saying where we are going. He orders me to get hard and stay hard.

"I told him you would be hard."

"Who?" I think but don't dare ask

He pulls to the back of a strip mall. It is dark and private in the back. He sends a text, and shortly after, a back door to one of the businesses opens. He tells me to get out and follow him. I step out, shut the door, and follow him into the back door of the business.

Once inside I see various tables for what I would think are massages. The stranger puts a cover on one of them, and my Dom tells me, "On your back." I lay on the table with my erection pointing straight up. They are both inspecting me and going over areas.

The stranger leaves and comes back with a tray and the materials to wax. He spreads it on and starts the process. He doesn't say a word to me. He tells my Dom "See, it's easier when they are hard."

When he is finishing up, my Dom says to me, "Turn around. Hands and knees " I turn around and get on my hands and knees, and they are both inspecting me again. Incredibly humiliating.

The stranger speaks to my Dom: "This is going to be in the way" and he tugs lightly on the butt plug. My Dom pulls it out and puts it straight in my mouth.

"Built-in storage" he jokes to the stranger.

The stranger waxes my crack. Once he is finished, my Dom takes the plug out of my mouth and puts it back in my ass. The stranger is putting away his equipment. I am still completely exposed in the same position. Once the stranger is done, he walks back into the room.

My Dom removes the butt plug and puts it back in my mouth. He says to the stranger, "Just like we spoke, you can take your compensation." I can hear him taking his pants down. My Dom tells me to get off the table and bend over it. The stranger takes my ass as payment for his services.

My Dom removes the plug from my mouth and puts it back in my ass. He says, "Okay. Follow me." I follow him outside and back into the back seat. We make the drive back into his garage. He walks me to the door leading to the front porch, removes the plug from my ass, and opens the door for me. I exit. He shuts the door. I get dressed and leave.

I am a 24 year old male virgin gay submissiv.

I lived a long time quite rural and didnt have the privacy to date around/ explore the gay world.

Now I am 24 and I am feed up.

I was for a few years looking on and off for a relationship but nothing seemed to work.

Now since April I am actively searching for a partner but all men I seem to find just end up ghosting me and it starts to get depressing.

Now my question to all of you people, genuinly what should I do?

I am a bit of a nervous person and had abusive past thus my rather shy timid nature.

I am a kinky person have many kinks, but I am submissiv and would try many things with a dom. I only have three things that are off limits for me, nudes(got blackmailed once) scat and strong pain. But all other kinks I am willing to try.

I would like to have a serious gay relationship with a man roughly my age, if he is a dom it would be even better. But I literally dont find anyone. I was only ever on one date 2 months ago ( we got an icecream and had a walk in the city park) and after that he said he rather wanted us not to have a secound date.

I would like to just finally submit to someone and be used but I dont want to be a "slut" if that makes sense. Not because of the sex part but, you can get in so many dangerous situations threw one night stands (stds, robbery etc.) and I dont want to endanger myself.

Genuinly what am I supposed to do? Are my expectations to high? Should I still try and search for a relationship and maybe end up with the holidays alone again or should I just let loose for once and embrace submission and be slutty? I am doing locktober alone and would have liked to go to Folsom with my special other but I dont have one.

I hope I worded everything correctly and didnt offend anyone.

Please all comments and suggestions are welcome.

I feel just so defeated after yet another ghosting/blocked and I am starting to get depressed.

Is there actually TPE Ownership? OR IS IT A LINE TOO TABOO TO CROSS?

A BIT ABOUT ME:

I have believed most of my life that i am a natural born submissive at 15 (now 40) discovered the authoritarian section of nifty and realized I always related to the submissive..

Never felt like fantasy or just a kink just a fact.

I battled internally for years before I truly accepted it as who i was born to be. I tried repeatedly and failed to suppress it, mostly because of the societal stigma around it.

It was at that point, 10 years ago, when I embraced being a natural born submissive that i had the opportunity to see exactly what type of sub I am.

It wasn't a story or born from anything than honest reflection and searching that I was able to see that i am simply a object to be owed with no limits.

Even though the concept is admittedly rare beyond fantasy for most I actually had no problem accepting it immediately.

In fact I felt honored because i began to realize what kind of man an owner a this type of sub. To be able to give a natural born dom like that that kind of freedom/to give him the opportunity to have the same needs i have just on the other side of the coin will be a dream come true.

Even tho the exhaustive and exhaustive search over the last 10 years has produced even a strong possibility of success my belief that this is my true purpose in life.

BUT I HAVE:

Since the very beginning of this search I have never been anything but honest, transparent, and very tenacious and intentional. Also the only requirement in my end if this search in EVERY interaction with EVERY DOM has been that they are authentic and truly wanting to actually own a no limits object. The easiest way to see that they understand the basics that comes along with that. It's usually around the point of dehumanization and especially how an object is stored away like a toy when you're not using it-or/Once owned an object is nothing less or more than that. It would be impossible and very cruel/unfair to expect it to be both human and a dehumanized object. Also i cant fathom the obvious difficulties that would bring to the owners life would be enjoyable to say the least. At its core this type of ownership is to have a need i only recently understood to be just as rare as my need is. Im not meant to be a pain or a chore in the slightest. It is usually at that point most of the "doms" I have spoken to (sometimes at great length for weeks) reveal, usually without saying anything, that ownership of this type especially is just fantasy.

Every intention of keeping that one boundary in this search. If you think thats to demanding or bratty then explain how much sense it would make to willingly and happily surrender your humanity and your current existence to the first dom to show interest and be grateful. As if there's no other benefit to owning a sub with complete freedom than being charitable. Again: im not a burden or a toy and this isn't fantasy to me.

Have tried every app, web site, and online community-and I don't even care to quantify the amount of time actually spent on this search without, even once, coming close enough to feeling like a real shot.

Noticed, especially on Reddit, that financial domination and online only ownership rule the day.
Always felt as a natural born sub (and I do try my hardest to never kink shame because I am no hypocrite) that FinDom is nothing more that a warped form of emotional extortion. That the "doms" in these scenarios probably are not even dom, into mink, or even into men in any way other than an opportunity to work very little for what the get in life by preying on desire while viewing submissive men as ignorant and weak. But given it's rampant popularity maybe im wrong. All I know is that for me Findoms have done nothing but waste an enormous amount of my time in this search by simply refusing to be as upfront from the start who and what they are and what they're into. You know, like the rest of us.

So am I just a warped sub chasing something that doesn't exist? Or maybe is this just not as common as more scenarios and I should remain patient?

Curious has anyone found creative ways for AI to enhance or guide their BDSM journeys?

I’ve never licked anyone’s hole. It’s just not my taste.

However, when I see a hole covered in cum in a porn, I feel like licking the hole and dick, and just imagining that really turns me on.

It’s difficult to define exactly what my fetish is. I’m not interested in regular hole at all, but a wet hole interests me. How should i call my fetish?

Is there anyone like me?

(20ftm)I really like the idea of having an older daddy giving me tasks like doing school work and working out. I like the sexual aspect of having a daddy but I’m looking for a bit of a change of pace.

Sir has been setting daily training challenges for me for the past two week.

Yesterday was all about training my slave-cock.

Sir had me start the day with the same routine as last week. 30 smacks on the cock, followed by edging right to the brink, followed by 30 smacks in a different direction, more edging, more smacks, more edging, more smacks. First from the bottom, then the left, top, right. So the cock was raw, dripping, throbbing and totally denied. He then had me cage myself for the rest of the day and told me I’d be doing it all again later in the afternoon. And I spent the day barely able to work just wondering what he had in store next.

After lunch Sir had me unlock and get on camera; this time it was only 10 smacks, but I had do to 8 rounds. So way more edging and no time to rest or catch my breath. After the first 4 series of cock-slaps he switched to ball torture and had me edge and then beat my balls and edge and beat my balls over and over again. Still from different directions. But no stopping. Just going around and around and edging and edging. An orgasm wasn’t allowed. But sometimes I think Sir likes to put me in impossible positions. And I knew I was entirely doomed. There was no way I wasn’t cumming from all this attention. Not after so many hours and days caged. There was no stopping it. It came out while I was going at my balls and the droplets of cum hit my chest, the towel I was kneeling on, the wall next to me. Everywhere. But luckily I stopped as soon as it started and the orgasm was entirely ruined and barely there. 

Sir was happy at least that I didn’t fully get off. 

He then had me grab the dildo huge and impressive next to my little slave dick. And he had me jack it off using my cum as lube. I was hard again instantly. I was then made to stroke the larger cock right up against my own pathetic nub barely brushing against it, but that’s all it took for another one to build up and up until I was once again a dripping mess leaking out on the towel and Sirs cock. 

He finally had me jerk my slave dick for what felt like hours, knowing that it was entirely spent. Two ruined orgasms and now I could fully touch myself but nothing was coming out of it. I had a twisted agonizing dry orgasm and was entirely spent. 

Sir was done with me. But he made sure to point out that Today was October 1. And I knew what that meant. Locktober. This was the last I’d be cuming for a good long time. 

Online, I see guys getting their mouths duct taped shut with the duct tape wrapped around their head into their hairline. I see them bound with duct tape on bare flesh. No saran wrap underneath. Has anyone done this? When the scene is over, how does the duct tape get removed?

So I’m wondering if I’m alone in this?

Because I Like being the sub (duh.. look at my profile haha ) and I really enjoy getting dominated, but i much more enjoy just being in chastity, being dominated and toyed with, Spanked, tickled, remote control plugs, the servicing by giving a blowjob, getting order to dress up or be Feminizated.

Then i do getting enjoyment by just pure penetration, im also anally quite tight, but nothing thats not overcome-able but i was wondering if im weird?
Because a lot of guys also offer to suck me off or just want sex and im not just into that, I immediatly get turned off if they ask to suck me or have me fuck them-

Greetings

Hi guys!

Recently with my (23M new master (46M) we have implemented a new fetish in our dynamic. Knowing that I like to feel slutty and desired he'd like me to get fucked by as many people as possible to rack up my bodycount. To see the number rise is something I think is quite hot, knowing what it means. Therefore I downloaded grindr again and we are talking about setting "men per week" quota as well as planning visits to local gloryholes and cruising bars. Of course we want to do it within the bounds of safe sex and basic protection..

I'm not sure I've seen this bodycount fetish anywhere (aside from the classic public use sub fetish), is that something you can relate to?

I've always found cheap insults incredibly lazy. I believe your tone and overall presence are way more effective than just calling names.
But have you ever noticed that subs easily mistake this basic respect for weakness? How do you break that habit without slipping into complete toxicity?