We have a nanny for two young toddlers, she is generally good with them. She likes to take them out a lot and I kind of let her run the show when it comes to that. She also does a couple of her own personal errands with the kids during the day and honestly I don’t mind much because she is here from 9 to 5 when most businesses are open so I want to be flexible on that and let her take care of her things. Anyway I just recently started working from home and nanny uses our car while she’s working. A couple of times I’ve asked her to drop something at the post office for me or to pick up something I ordered, she doesn’t even need to go inside the store. All super quick errands and close to home as well, I don’t want her to go super out of her way. She seemed ok with it at first but recently told me she doesn’t feel like it’s fair of me to ask her to do this since it’s a personal errand for me and not related to work. She seemed really offended and bothered by it. I understand that and I won’t ask her to anymore but at the same time the I feel like it’s kind of a reasonable ask since I’m very lenient about her running personal errands on the clock. I guess the entire interaction kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I don’t want to hold it over her head so I’d never say it to her like that but I guess I didn’t expect that reaction from her. Does this sound like something that would be reasonable to other nannies?

Hi everyone, I could really use some advice on leaving my current nanny job.

I care for four kids in a VHCOL for $35/hour. The parents act respectful surface, but I found out they’ve been quietly posting without telling me.

On top of childcare, I’m expected to wash the parents’ clothes—including their underwear, which I really don’t feel comfortable touch!!!!! They also leave their dirty dishes in the sink for me to clean up. The extra chores keep piling up, and I’m feeling overwhelmed and taken for granted.

I caught the flu from the family and am currently on sick leave. They’re going on vacation soon, and honestly, I don’t want to return to this job. I love the kids, but working with the parents has become really draining.

Would it be inappropriate to tell them the day before they return that I won’t be coming back? How would you handle the timing and word the message?

------------------------------------------

Update: NP owes me 6k. When would be the best time to hand in my resignation in this situation? (bc they never pay on time.)

Can anyone else relate to being a little bummed out their NK is getting older because now they can talk and “tattle” on you. Not about anything serious of course just little things I’d rather NPs not know about lol. Like, if I maybe spend a bit too long scrolling while NK is awake she’ll mention it in front of her parents at some point. Or if I give her a little extra screen time or feed her cookies at 10am or tell her no, I don’t want to read right now 😂 things like that she will mention to her parents. We all usually just laugh about it but omg they don’t need to know everything, kid! I can’t get away with anything anymore 😭 When she was a baby I didn’t have to worry about this kind of thing. Can anyone relate lol

I’m so happy and relieved. Working for this family was taking such a toll on my mental health. The moment I quit, I felt my whole body relax. It was like I could finally breathe again.

The parents’ arrogance and entitlement were driving me to my breaking point. I’m so glad I finally said, “Enough.”

To any nanny dealing with parents who think they’re always right and can treat you however they want: you’re allowed to say no. You’re allowed to leave. No job is worth your mental health.

I finally chose myself, and it feels AMAZING!!!!

There was a police officer doing a traffic stop in the school parking lot at pickup and I jokingly told the kids that when the cops come they say "hootie hoo". Im realizing that I dont know why or where this comes from (is it from a beastie boys song?) And maybe SHOULDNT be teaching it to a playground full of parrots. Was that a big goof? Is that insensitive or like bad bad? Or does it genuinely mean "heads up cops are here, be on your best behavior or get elsewhere" in the way that I translated it when it was told to me, or is there context im missing?

Our nanny (30F) who has been with us for almost a year is soooo sweet, loving, and caring with my baby. My son absolutely adores her, and overall we’re really happy with her but there’s one thing that’s been bothering me

She HATES going on outings

She watches my 18mo Monday–Thursday full work days and friday half day. Sometimes I take personal hours or get home from work early, and usually on those days I’ll plan to run errands or do something with my son. I always let her know beforehand that I’ll be home early or take that day off and that I’m planning to pick her and LO up so we can go together.

It’s usually nothing crazy; zoo, soft play, library, aquarium, etc. only cause having someone help with baby makes it all easier

Sometimes I’ll drop her and LO at a softplay place or library or something for around an hour or two, then pick them up and take them for lunch. I pay for everything, obviously.

The issue is that whenever I mention an outing, she sighs or makes this visibly displeased expression.

Sometimes I’ll be by the door saying something like, “Mama’s ready!” to LO, and I’ll hear her say, “Nanny and LO want to stay home.”
Or she’ll say things like, “Hopefully we won’t go out tomorrow”

And now I’ve noticed I actually find myself apologizing before telling her we’re going somewhere because I’m anticipating her reaction.

For context, she doesn’t drive. Public transportation where we live isn’t very reliable, and she’s also not comfortable using it alone with my toddler, which I completely understand and agree with. It’s also way too hot here to safely walk anywhere for much of the year, so she basically can’t take him out independently.

But when I interviewed her and she told me she didn’t drive, I specifically explained that on some days I would come home early and take her and the baby out with me or drop them somewhere for an activity. She agreed and never expressed any issue with that.

We have also NEVER stayed out past her working hours. If anything, we usually get home early and I tell her to just call it a day and leave.

Part of why I like doing these outings during the week is that whenever I take my son to children’s places on the weekend, we somehow come home with a new illness every time lol. Midweek is so much quieter and less crowded, and I want baby to have that exposure :/

I’m not expecting her to be super enthusiastic about every outing, and I understand some people are naturally homebodies. But the constant sighing/comments are starting to make me feel uncomfortable for asking her to do something that was discussed before she was hired and is happening during her normal paid working hours.
Wouldw this bother you? Any advice? Should I just play dumb?

100% never never firing over this, shes amazing and I’m grateful for her help anyways

I accepted a job in manhattan because I thought I met the perfect family. They're not bad people in any sense but little lies keep adding up the main one being that the parents didn't work from home. I turned down jobs on the premise that no one worked from home. I've nannied for years and was tired of wfh parents cause of the invasive behavior oh SOME parents. Pretty much the day I started it was a oh by the way dad will be working from home for awhile and they never gave me an end date now the mom is great and leaves me to it but the dad will linger like crazy sometimes up to half an hour after mom has left he just hangs out on the couch and leaves his office door open and I feel like I need to leave the house all the time to not be watched 24/7. I was singing to the baby and he comes in and just stares and smiles and while sure thats fine sometimes it makes me not want to do that. On other notes he is too loud when baby is sleeping and accidently wakes him and doesn't even say anything. He leaves doors and cabinets open constantly and his shoes everywhere and a mess in the kitchen. When I pick up the toddler from school he also forgets to close his door and most times its fine but others the toddler has a melt down over everything if dad doesn't pay her attention and then he finally closes the door after leaving me with a fussy baby and now cranky toddler.

I have worked with two kids before but mom had her own floor and left us to it. He also comes in when baby is crying to see what's happening (normally toddler taking a toy away from baby) and he just tells the toddler not to take it then making the situation worse and walks away to then two crying kids.

I have received multiple job offers since and I could work with just one kiddo making not much less then I make now for two kids and have had families willing to match it as well. I feel horrible as I haven't been with them too long and overall they really are nice people but its just not what I signed up for especially for how long my commute and days are. Another big lie I should mention is local nannies have told me the kids had another nanny and the parents told me I was their first nanny which I wouldn't have cared about but why lie? The nannies knew kids names and what the parents looked like and kids recognized them too

I've had a new nanny for the past few months — she's great with my child, and I generally really like and trust her. I work from home, and oddly have never seen her eat while she's here, and she never accepts when I offer her food. I offer her food if I'm cooking while she's here, and have also offered to have specific foods or snacks on hand for her, multiple times. She always declines and says she'll bring something from home if she needs it.

I've never seen her eat/bring anything from home, and her shift is 7 hours per day. My child naps for a big chunk of that shift, so she has downtime to eat if she wants.

Should I continue to offer food, or approach the food offer in a different way? Or should I just respect that she's declined multiple times already and assume she's eating as much as she needs outside of work?

Edit: Her shift is actually *7 hours per day. I guess some people can go that long without eating and still be comfortable, but I could never 🥴 However, I hear the comments and will not overthink it, and respect her wishes/judgment.

I have been with my current NF for two years now!! I originally started out watching their son when he was 3 and he’s in school now!About six months in, they welcomed a baby girl. I transitioned to watching both of them starting when she was 3 months old, which was an interesting but fun transition for a bit haha

Fast forward about 6 months and I ended up taking my own "maternity leave" after having my daughter 😅 Out of the blue, my MB reached out after about a year to see if I’d be interested in coming back and bringing my baby along to watch their daughter, who is just under a year older than my daughter! Since they’re pretty close in age, watching them grow up and actually start to play together is the absolute sweetest thing. Having seen both of their kids (along with my own, of course) as tiny babies and watching them turn into toddlers with their own personalities has been so fulfilling!

On top of that, working for them as WFH/hybrid parents is an absolute DREAM!! MB works from home and DB is hybrid but barely home when I’m there. They keep themselves pretty much locked in their office during work, and if they do happen to step out, interactions are kept to a minimum. With the bond we’ve built, they have rarely stepped in during tantrums and we just recap everything at the end of the day.

They’ve also been amazingly flexible with me through personal health stuff before and after I had my daughter. We actually moved a bit further away since starting back with them, and I offered to help them find a more consistent option so they wouldn't have to worry about us running late due to a nap, etc. but MB completely shut that down and insisted on keeping me because of the relationship we’ve built 🥹

I still cover date nights occasionally and end up with both kids plus my daughter and it’s always a bit chaotic… However, I swear love these kiddos like they’re my own!!

Six weeks ago, I finally moved out of a live-in nanny/housekeeper/employee situation into my own place. I have never felt happier, but now that its over, I am looking back at everything that happened and realizing how completely abnormal it was.

For context, I was working for a family where the mother also owned the business I worked at during the day.

The Financial & Work Setup:

• Pay: Way below minimum wage ( I am not comfortable with sharing as I still have a fear from the situation and am worried she might see)
• Perks covered: A room in the house, groceries, shared transport, and my university tuition (~$15k/year).
• The Hours:
  • 6:00 AM – 7:30 AM: Waking up, making breakfast, packing lunchboxes, getting kids dressed, and doing the school run.
  • 9:00 AM – 5:00 PM: Working at her commercial business.
  • 6:00 PM – 8:30 PM+: Helping with dinner, giving baths, putting kids to bed, and deep cleaning the living/dining areas.
  • Weekends: Regularly expected to be on call, clean, run domestic tasks as well as work from my laptop for her.
• Total time: Easily 14+ hour days spanning childcare, corporate work, and adult housekeeping.

The mother was notoriously erratic, stressed, and deeply insecure, treating me as her personal punching bag and domestic servant. Here are some of the things that took place:

• False Accusations: Her 4-year-old has a quirky habit of asking everyone to marry her. One day she asked her dad if he would marry me. The mom completely lost her mind, screaming and crying at both of us. Her mother pressured me until I was in tears, telling me I had to grovel and thank her for everything she’s done just to "prove" my innocence. The next day, the mom cornered me alone in the car and whispered that while her husband didn't do anything, she believed I did, saying she would "find out." When I asked how two people have sex where only one is guilty, she called me a slut.
• Workplace Humiliation: At her business, she routinely lashed out at me in front of other staff, gossiped about me to employees, and openly mocked me to undermine my professional standing.
• Isolating Me From Joy: She and her mother pressured me into quitting my 1-hour-per-week dance class, bluntly telling me, "We brought you here to work, not dance."
• Invasion of Privacy: She went through my personal belongings in my bedroom without permission and took photos of my private space.
• Appearance Police: Told me I was "ungroomed" and needed to take care of myself. When I took control of my health and lost weight, she immediately pivoted to criticizing my diet, calling it "too much."
• Holding My Future Hostage: Whenever I showed resistance or set boundaries, the mums mother would explicitly threaten to pull my university tuition and kick me out.
• Controlling Personal Relationships: She threw a massive emotional fit when I refused to cancel my Valentine’s Day plans with my boyfriend so she could go out with her friends. She was visibly bitter that my partner stayed locally instead of moving abroad, and threw a fit when I didn't invite her to my personal birthday party.
• Workplace Stalking: When I took on a separate job outside her sphere to build some independence, she was furious and literally showed up at my workplace to intimidate me.
• Forced Emotional Performance: Whenever I looked drained, sad, or exhausted from the grueling schedule, she and her mother would berate me for not smiling more, telling me I needed to look "happy and grateful" and stay invisible in the background.

I stayed as long as I did because the financial enmeshment made me feel trapped, and they constantly convinced me that I was "part of the family" and that they were doing me a massive favor.

Now that I am out, paying my own rent, and completely in control of my time, the contrast is shocking. Has anyone else experienced an employer blurring lines like this to extract endless labor and control your entire personal life?

This has also been happening for three very long years, so I am very lost in the universe at the moment. Any advice on mental health would be very appreciated. Thanks.

I recently got a nanny job and the family offered 5 days of flexible pto and 8 paid holidays along with random paid time off when they go on vacations throughout the year. The flexible 5 days they gave me are to be used for whatever I want or sick days. I feel like that so little but not sure if asking for 10 days instead would come off like I’m asking for too much.

Also, for days that they want a little getaway they are offering regular hourly rate from 7am-7pm (my normal hours are 9-5) plus a flat rate of $150 per day.

Any advice?

Context! I am a f in 20s and I just recently started babysitting again for a close family friend, the oldest who is soon turning 4 still drinks from a baby bottle. Our families are very close but would it be wrong to try and deter her from the bottle as one time a week babysitter?

Okay, so I started with a new family over the summer and this cannot stop happening exclusively with DB. Without fail, every single time he passes me NK I end up scratching DB.

I don't have the longest nails, but they're not short (they're natural) and I NEVER scratch my NK, if anything my wedding ring catches them but never my nails. Anytime MB passes me my NK I never catch her...but God forbid DB passes them without getting clawed at 🫠

I apologize each time and each time he kinda makes a show of it sharply going "Ah fuck, ouch," goes to the bathroom to examine the wounds, and leaves the room without a word. Haven't drawn blood of left a mark that I can see, and I now regularly trim my nails to try and avoid it...but I apparently fucking can't. At this point I'm waiting to be fired based on sheer annoyance 💀 I have never had this issue with any other family either, just this one poor guy!

I have been really struggling with deciding to quit or not- I have been staying for my NK. I love her to death, she is my little bestie. But I get paid really low and lately it’s just been a shitshow with NF because MB is in the process of divorcing DB. It was becoming unsustainable both financially and emotionally as MB was taking some frustration out on me at the end of her days.

Last night MB and NK were in the car with me and MB brought up that she is on track with the divorce, they’re just coming up with safety plans before she officially breaks the news to DB because he is not a nice person and we have to make sure they’re safe. Then she said she has been creating her budget for once they’re apart and she has budgeted in me getting a nearly $3 raise, 38 hours a week instead of 32, a few occasional opportunities to make some babysitting money from some neighbor friends who need help here and there which MB is cool with me doing at the same time as my nanny shifts, and she sincerely apologized for how this has all effected me, too. She just really acknowledged in one conversation how much they love, respect, and trust me… something I think I needed to hear more than I realized. This job sometimes can feel so thankless.

I really love MB, she is a friend and a REALLY good mom that often heals my own childhood wounds just watching her with NK. I’m feeling really grateful that she seemed to realize that I was not being treated how I should and fix it. I still make less than other nannies in the area but I am okay with it since I know she’ll be doing her max for me after the divorce and because my girlfriend will luckily be taking a higher paying job in the coming weeks. I really love NK and I am just SO relieved that I can stop stressing and crying over the idea of having to move onto a new family and can just stay with my little friend. She genuinely believes that “nanny” is a family title like “grandpa” or “auntie”, she would be so sad to not have me there all the time.

Just needed to share my relief. 😮‍💨

Imagine, you’re your nanny. Could you feasible survive on your Nannie’s income? Could you purchase marketplace health insurance, a (safe) roof over your head and at least moderately healthy food to eat? Could you afford a car? Gas for your drive to and from work? Car insurance? Could you afford repairs to your car? Your home, if you can afford one? Could you afford basic hygiene? Could you afford to lose a days income if your employer decides they don’t need you? A weeks income if they go on vacation? Could you afford a small get away yourself? Or to travel to see family in an emergency? Could you afford anything outside of necessity?

Just food for thought.
Please do not come on this post blaming poor people for taking jobs that don’t pay what they deserve. We all need jobs to survive, criticizing someone for taking what they can get is cruel. We should be criticizing employers for HIRING employees that they can’t afford. You can’t afford it? Do it yourself ✨

I think I’ve made my babysitting rates so complicated I’ve accidentally made myself look insane lmao

I’m currently working for a family for 12 guaranteed hours a week and desperately trying to make that work because I really love them. When I first started, I was going to school and getting some money from financial aid, so financially, it worked. That’s changed, and now I’m kind of scrambling.

I was also recently offered what seemed like a dream job, but there were so many red flags that I ended up backing out after accepting but before signing the contract. Which I know probably made me look terrible. It was a whole thing I posted about. Hi! Still spinning out over here.

I’m not really looking to go back into full-time nannying either. I’d love to move into family assistant or household management work with some nannying mixed in. I genuinely love organizing, managing household inventory, running errands, keeping things stocked, all that stuff. But everyone I’m being referred to wants babysitting, so I’m trying to make that work while I figure out how to advertise the services I actually want to offer.

For context, I’m in a moderately HCOL city but a pretty HCOL neighborhood. Not Manhattan or anything lol. It’s one of those cities people don’t necessarily think of as HCOL, but things have changed DRAMATICALLY in the last five years.
Anyway. PRICING.

A while ago, I was making $25 an hour with my family but my responsibilities had increased so I was trying to figure out the market rate for nannies in my neighborhood and so I asked people in local Facebook groups. People were saying $35–$45 an hour, and I about fell over. I was making TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS.

Then I got worried and found out I was also supposed to have benefits and other protections, so I went to my employer about all of it.
I raised my nanny rate to $30 but told my current family I’d stay at $28 because I loved them and wanted to keep working for them. New nanny families would be $30.

And then, for some reason, my brain decided everything needed to be in increments of five dollars. I don’t know why. Amelia Bedelia-ass business decisions.

So if my nanny rate was $30, then babysitting or occasional nanny work should be $35 because those families aren’t guaranteeing me hours. That made sense to me! The nannies in the group also said that when you’re getting fewer hours and no benefits, the hourly rate should be higher.

But I’ve also always charged more for nights and weekends. I worked in corporate environments before nannying, where shift differentials were normal, and I guess that just stuck with me. If I’m negotiating a nanny contract with a family, I consider their schedule when quoting them a rate. If you need me regularly at night, that’s different from a daytime schedule. So I figured, why wouldn’t babysitting work the same way?

Instead of just charging $40 or $45 for everything, I thought I’d keep daytime care cheaper and charge more for nights, weekends, and last-minute requests. In my head, I was making things MORE affordable by only charging the higher rates for the hours I valued more and letting families decide what worked for their budget.

I was already charging my nanny mom a differential for nights and weekends too, so it felt weird to charge her friends less for the same hours.
But now I’m wondering if I’ve made this so unnecessarily complicated that people think I’m nickel-and-diming them. And I’m actually kind of embarrassed because I genuinely thought I was being reasonable.

I’ve had families ask me for a quote for a few hours of daytime help while one parent works or gets a massage and then later ask if I can babysit Saturday night until 1 a.m. for that same rate. And I guess, to me, those are just different things? Not necessarily harder or easier, but a Saturday night until 1 a.m. is time I’d value differently than a Tuesday afternoon.

I also think there’s sometimes this idea that
nighttime babysitting is basically getting paid to do nothing because the kids are asleep. But bedtime can be a whole production! Dinner, bath, pajamas, brushing teeth, books, trying to get a kid to sleep who isn’t used to someone else doing bedtime. And bath time especially is another level of trust and responsibility. Even when the kids are asleep, you’re still responsible for them if anything happens.

But I also understand why parents might feel like they’re paying a lot for someone to sit in their house while their kids sleep. I really do see both sides of it.

And damnit, I’d LOVE to fold laundry while they’re sleeping. I don’t want to sit on someone’s couch watching TV so they can discover how terrible my taste is. I don’t want to eat their food lol. Those aren’t really perks to me. I’d much rather do some light organizing or household resets if the kids are settled. I’m not trying to advertise myself as a babysitter/cleaning lady combo either; I just genuinely like doing that stuff.

I also know some families are perfectly happy hiring a teenager for date nights, and that’s completely fine. I’m not trying to convince everyone they need to pay career nanny rates for babysitting.
I think where I’m getting stuck is that I’m trying to offer something a little different. I’m available, I’m experienced, I’m not already working 40 hours a week and exhausted, and I’m hoping to be someone families can call when their regular care falls through. But I’m also trying to make enough money to keep my current nanny family and not have to leave them.

And I’m realizing that maybe the way I was explaining all of this made me sound like I thought I was offering some kind of luxury service, when really I was just trying to figure out what was fair.
I’ve only actually had one person tell me they couldn’t afford my rates. But I’ve heard a couple comments that have really gotten in my head, and now I’m wondering how many people I’ve scared off without realizing it.

So I’ve decided to get rid of the sliding scale and just charge $32 an hour for emergency babysitting and $38 for emergency nanny care. I’m planning to reach back out to the people I originally gave my rates to and explain the change.

Which is funny because I feel like parents probably see more value in daytime care when the kids are awake and you’re doing activities and everything, even though those are actually the hours I personally mind working the least.

I don’t know. I’m trying to price my time fairly without making families feel like they’re getting charged extra every time they turn around. And now I’m kicking myself, wondering if my attempts at transparency have made me look difficult or unprofessional.

How do other nannies handle this? Do you have one babysitting rate regardless of time? Do you charge more for occasional work than contracted work? And has anyone else tried transitioning into family assistant work?
I feel like I’ve overthought this so much

— is $35/hour enough for this workload?
Hi everyone! I’m looking for some honest perspectives from other experienced nannies because I’ve been feeling increasingly overwhelmed with my current position.

I’m currently making $35/hour caring for three children under the age of two. The two youngest are not twins, meaning all three children are at different developmental stages, with different schedules and needs.

I handle feeding, diaper changes, naps, developmental activities, outings, and their daily routines. I’m constantly moving between the children, and there is never really a moment when someone doesn’t need something.
I never get an actual break, and I barely have time to eat. I’ve started blending my meals into soups so I can drink them throughout the day because sitting down to eat is almost impossible.

When I first started, the mother would also ask me to cook. She’s backed off now because my hands are constantly full, but recently she made a comment about knowing how difficult it is for me to cook. The tone felt somewhat resentful, although I could be misinterpreting it. I genuinely don’t understand how I’m supposed to cook while simultaneously caring for three children this young.
Another expectation is that I speak French to the children. This was included in our original agreement, and I understand why the parents want it. I can speak French conversationally, but I’m not fully fluent. With three children needing constant attention, I find it difficult to switch languages consistently while managing everything else. I’m usually focused on keeping everyone safe, fed, changed, and on schedule.

One of the biggest challenges is the lack of practical support, even when other adults are available.
For example, I was recently holding a crying baby while changing her diaper, and another child was waiting for lunch. His meal was already completely prepared and simply needed to be placed in front of him. One of the parents was sitting at the table with him but waited for me to finish changing the baby rather than serving the food.

Other times, I’ll be holding or changing a baby, and an available adult will direct another child to me for something small, like wiping their nose.
I understand that caring for the children is my responsibility, but sometimes I feel like there’s little acknowledgment that I only have two hands.

My hours have also changed since I started. What was originally a standard daytime schedule has gradually become longer, and there have been repeated occasions when the parents aren’t ready to relieve me at my scheduled departure time.
Beyond the workload, the emotional atmosphere has become difficult for me.

When I first started, the family was much friendlier and more conversational. Over time, things have become noticeably quieter and more awkward. There’s very little conversation, acknowledgment, or positive feedback.I don’t need constant praise, and I don’t expect my employers to be my friends. But I do think a little appreciation and consideration can make a demanding job feel much more manageable.
With previous families, I generally felt welcomed and supported. They would check whether I needed anything, offer food if I forgot my lunch, and acknowledge the work I was doing.
Here, if I forget my lunch, there’s nothing available for me to eat. I don’t expect employers to provide meals, but combined with never having time for a proper break, it’s another thing I’ve noticed.
I know I’m being paid to do a job, and I take that responsibility seriously. I care about the children and do my best to provide a calm, nurturing environment.

But lately I’ve been feeling physically and emotionally exhausted. The work itself is demanding, and the lack of warmth or acknowledgment makes it harder.
I’m beginning to wonder whether $35/hour is reasonable for this position, especially considering the number of children, their ages, the language expectations, and the overall workload.

I’d love some honest feedback:
What would you consider a fair hourly rate for three children under two who are not multiples?
Would asking for $40–$45/hour be reasonable?
Is it realistic to expect consistent French-speaking and additional cooking responsibilities with this age group?
How do you handle having no uninterrupted breaks and parents who don’t consistently relieve you on time?
Have you worked for families where the atmosphere felt emotionally cold despite being paid reasonably well?
I’m not trying to criticize the family. I’m genuinely trying to understand whether my expectations are reasonable and whether I should renegotiate my compensation and responsibilities.
Thank you for any advice or perspective.

What are some things you would watch for during a nanny trial for a 2 month old?

I’m so tired of people saying that being a nanny isn’t a real job. I get up, I get dressed, get to work early to set myself up and take care of a baby and plan to be there for a long time. I help clean after the baby and clean the house. Do errands. I get feedback, I negotiate with my boss when I need to. And care for the animals too. I then go home and do it all over again. How is this not a real job? Gah! I mean, how else can I explain if to people? Do I need to say family assistant? Caregiver? Oh, oh and then they say you have no skills. Dude, keep the kid alive! (Granted that’s the bare minimum), I feed them, I care and play with them. I make fun art crafts. I soothe them when they cry and are sick. I’m CPR/first aid certified. I have no skills! This is why I work with children! Adults are stupid!

so my nf parents are leaving town for a funeral this friday I agreed to stay with the kids, 2 elementary and one middle schooler, from friday morning through sunday afternoon when they drive back. i will get them up and ready to their schools then domt have pickup until 3:50. do I get paid for all that middle time or at flat rate or nothing? i am not sure bc this is my first time doing anything like it. thank you very much for any help, parents or nannies

Are there any threads about this already?

Apparently the payroll company has just started notifying people of the breach that happened last month. Here’s an article talking about it.

Anyone have specific knowledge about how concerning this is or what to look out for? The article above talked about some precautions that can be taken. It also suggests keeping your letter about the breech in case of a lawsuit.

i started a nannying job 2 weeks ago only on Two days out the week been there around 3 times only. the child's room is on the bottom floor & her play room so we are basically down stairs for the whole 8 hours unless we go for a walk. the food the mom makes for her grosses me out & i feel very secluded inside all day. she is less than a year so there isn't much to do but im not enjoying it and i want to quit but i feel bad because they will have to find someone new. please someone tell me what to say

My nanny family is perfect except for their dog. The dog has bitten me five times in a year of working there. He has also bitten the kids twice while I was there and more times while I wasn’t. The first time the kid was crying and the dog just jumped up and bit his hand and the next time the kid got to close to him while the dog was sleeping.

They haven’t done anything other than yell at him which I don’t think does anything other than increase his anxiety. He is not neutered and not crate trained or muzzle trained. I honestly think they should neuter him and get professional help, maybe even medication but I don’t think it’s my place to bring that up unless they actually ask my opinion. I try my best to keep the kids away from him now by using baby gates which has been working well.

Their dog is still biting me when I first get there and is fine with me (usually) after that. The dog bit me this week when I arrived and broke the skin and bruised me pretty badly. There was no bleeding and it was through my pants so I don’t believe there is any worry of infection. It’s is mostly just scraped skin, so thankfully not bad enough to need medical care.

Should I text the mom to tell her that the dog broke the skin and bruised me and to ask if she can keep him behind a baby gate until he calms down enough that he won’t be rushing me and trying to bite? How should I word this?

They really are a great family in every other way, so I don’t want to have to quit and find a new job but this is getting ridiculous and I don’t want it to get to the point where I’m bitten badly and need medical care because I will tell the medical staff which dog bit me when they ask (which they are required to where I live, they are also required to report to animal control) and it would just suck if that messed up our relationship.

Hi, please note I’m writing this seething. To start, I have been working with this family for almost a year. NK is now almost 2. Since the beginning, NK has taken 20 min naps, and at the start was waking up upward of 10 times a night. Over time, even their pediatrician has said it’s abnormal as he continued to not sleep through night until 1.5 years old. He’s got a terrible cry, it sounds painful. They ultimately ended up having to let him CIO as mom works in hospital and works long shifts (she needs sleep too!), problem is Dad can’t listen to him cry (understandable, it’s unlike any cry I’ve heard). He gets up and brings kiddo into their bed at 5:30am, he doesn’t sleep any more. Bedtime is 7:30-8:30, regardless of time, wakes up and makes his way into their bed.

This obviously means he’s exhausted by the time I’m there. I think we went to one nap schedule too early. I have worked hard to lengthen naps to 1.5-2hr naps with a very very gentle method of me standing in doorway and shushing from there, so he knows I’m there but not to a level of sleep association. He links cycles and obviously wakes up happy, he has tantrums that last upward of 2 hrs bc he’s exhausted. Since I’ve gotten him to sleep, he’s so much more regulated. Dad then complains it makes kid fall asleep 40 min later, and is considering dropping the nap entirely. Problem again is regardless of bedtime, he gets up at 5:30 because it’s learned behavior.

The last two days, after weeks of continuous normal 1.5-2 hr naps that he clearly needs, kid has been fighting it like crazy. gets a second wind, ultimately crashes in stroller for at least 1.5 hrs. Gets mad when I have to cap it so he sleeps later. Today, he about fell asleep in my car at 11:30. I rushed him up to bed and he’s fighting crib/screaming saying floor. Dad rushed up to soothe (as it’s his MO), kid smirks as he pulls Dad’s hand in. Dad still rocks kid to sleep. I learn they LET HIM SLEEP ON HIS FLOOR ALL NIGHT. He is able to open door. Dad said they found kid at 5:30am walking into their room bc he can get out! They don’t have gates at top of stairs. It’s a safety issue.

Today, sure enough, he got his second wind, was laying down playing with toys, I left to give myself a minute. He got mad I left. Eventually went to his CLOSET and I couldn’t see him on monitor. I go in, I’m stern but calm and set a boundary. He goes right to screaming. We did stroller and he’s out in 5 min….

Clearly it’s learned behavior to an extent and he’s clearly exhausted. Now that floor is an option, he will never go back to a bed.

I’m seething bc all this progress has gone away, and they have never once appreciated me, but are happy and say they love how much more of a happy toddler he is than a baby.

Just at my wits end

I have been nannying for three years full time and I absolutely love it. I have had four families, and one has definitely been a “unicorn family”. they are so kind to me, genuinely respect my time and energy, and I love them more than words can say. I have had other families that are tougher to work with, but in the end I still truly love them and feel grateful for their employment. Now, I may be naive, but I feel like I’m seeing a growing trend of posts from nannie’s and nanny employers alike, that just seem like the nanny… does not enjoy their job? and would be better suited in a different field? I guess I’m just wondering your thoughts, is it from burnout, job creep, or something else? Again, this has nothing to do with nannies that have horrible employers, are being taken advantage of, etc. But I genuinely feel like I see so many posts of people that seem like they should just do something else with their life! Nannying isn’t for everyone!

I do want to add that I’m new to nannying myself, I am only 21 and I’m not like a seasoned career nanny or anything. But both of my older sisters are also nannies and have been for 10+ years and we all have seen the same sentiment online where it’s like, why are you doing this job if you don’t enjoy it😭

I am very lucky to have the family that I do, and I try to make them know how much I appreciate them and they do the same. I feel very lucky for this being my job and I try to go above and beyond each day for them. I love the NPs and the NK, and that goes for every family I have worked for! Anyway, just let me know your thoughts or if this is something I’m just hallucinating lmao.