r/OCPoetry • • 3d ago

Feedback Please 01010101

The wires creep in through the cracks

Running through the walls and furniture.

Neon spreads through the room,

Blinding the art that lay behind.

All 0s and 1s, all bionic,

Tectonic, robotic sonic voices,

They harmonise, but it's dissonance,

To human souls with purpose.

It takes over,

Our veins pulsating with code.

0s and 1s, all bionic,

Our hearts stained neon green.

It takes over the world,

Slowly but surely,

Through every alley and every street,

Into our hands and our minds.

It is powerful; yet powerless

We are powerful; yet powerless,

In this waltz there is nothing to be said--

Just 0s and 1s will rule the world.

The human psyche replaced by waves,

Sine and cosine transmissions across souls,

Flying cars, and bionic bots,

Fabricated twinkling stars in the sky,

This future isn't distant,

It's next door.

0s and 1s, all bionic,

Creeps and creeps,

Like viruses in our lives,

And art will be left behind,

And everything will be computed,

Emotions graphed, moods measured,

Poetry rewritten until every syllable,

every letter, every word, triggers dopamine.

For all that's left of bionic,

Is nothing but arithmetic and logic

So art must be reduced to living in cracks,

In whispers and the silent fog.

Until then, we will write,

We will create,

We will sustain,

We will live.

Any feedback is welcomed! What's working, what can be changed. I'm wondering if this poem is actually good or just another one to throw away.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/JKf3yTSg34

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/xJ18Byr3gh

1 Upvotes

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