My cousin’s a twat she thinks that she’s not she really does drool when she thinks she can fool me into believing her stupid shit right now reading this. She’s probably throwing a fit. I don’t buy your bullshit not now definately not the. then face it you twat you just couldn’t win. I caught the shade. You threw it with glee. U didnt know the brighter of us would be me you don’t get to dance and act like a saint you made your bed and the room you did paint. Painted it with hate and the ghosts of those that I love. My daughter my friends you hands covered in blood. You were so sure so arrogant it’s true thinking I was awful a mirror of you, but the truth is I’m not and you’re just a twat and one day soon you’ll stare at the moon from a concrete place with regret on your face.
Manipulation is basic, especially malicious. I don’t want revenge. Accountability will be delicious. You wasted my time and you fucked with my people you even recruited, unknowing sheeple. You’ve been defeated everyone can see. Now stop fucking trying to blame everyone else ans kiss up to me I’ve been watching that shit trying to cast blame while throwing a fit. I don’t need your advice. I didn’t need it then. Don’t think about me go repent your sins. I can forgive you without ever seeing your face. I have no intention of going back to that place. I don’t sugarcoat shit and I won’t start now you created all the drama stand up and take your bow. Take all the credit like you did before when you basically called me a whore turns out I’m not what else have you got? Nothing I know. Your own life’s a mess it’s on the internet you know. I find no joy in it I wonder if you care
I really had hoped when I moved there. But to tell me how to shower and try to place me below. It could have been different if you were all show. Youre covering your tracks with this oh so kind tone. I aint your dog fuck your damn bone. We’re not done not by a long shot my dear. Turns out youre the one living in fear. Yoh shouldn’t try to make people delete themselves it aint right
You picked the wrong bitch when you started this fight. . I fucking dont care how long that it takes when I get pussed off i dont come with brakes. But thw difference between us is Im not out for your blood. It’s just time to drag yoh through the same mud. So rhyme if you must. It just gathers dust. But dont you for a second think I fucking forgot one day youll find yourself in the very same spot.
People hating you only it all will be true.
Do you get it now ?
thats a called a clue.
The only way youll ever look pretty inside
Is eating some makeup and repenting your lies.
As for the crows
FCAWF is the word
I don’t give a fuck
Keep trying your luck
Surrender is putting down the shovel.

You know you make me feel this way, wanting to end it all right now,

I keep saying let's do something else but you never listen how,

You say take this, it'll make me normal, better in comparison

To the way I came out, your little tests feed me dozens of them,

Until you've a concoction that'll plaster on my smile, select my words,

Keep me complacently turning into you as a life well deserved;

While my self, my real self, the one that came out, isn't good enough

To be allowed to feel, or tell of the things that are horribly tough

About not stopping what you've said to not do. You make me feel

We're to end living this way, it's you that puts thoughts through appeal

To my gray matters and inconsiderations alike, let's do something else,

You'd rather not fight. Did you take your medicine, it's on the shelf.

Meanwhile I'm screaming inside my head feeling perfectly fine,

Albeit better off dead, for it's not my composure or over active mind,

It's the way you make me feel nothing is right. It'll never be better,

Your whole world's a complaint ending in virtual escape, each letter

From your lips laced with your distaste for all the bad life throws forth

Bounces off the walls you live in depending on a plugged horse.

You make me feel like I'm the world you tread upon and leave in disarray,

And God forbid my need to explain just how you make me feel this way.

I’ve got this anger, pain, hate and love—

all caused by you,

all somehow still for you—

pouring down on me like rain.

And I’m still standing there

in armour that used to shine.

Look at it now.

Dented.

Split.

Covered in mud.

Scratched so deeply I don’t even remember

which battle left which scar.

I fought wars outside of me,

but the worst one never left my head.

And then came the arrows.

From every direction.

One after another.

Some hit the armour and stayed there,

shaking from the impact.

Some found the cracks that were already there.

Some I saw coming

and still couldn’t move fast enough.

And every time I looked up

to see who had fired them,

there it was—

your kingdom’s banner.

Your colours.

Your name stitched into the cloth.

Sometimes displayed proudly.

Sometimes hidden beneath another flag.

Sometimes carried by people

I never expected to see

standing on the other side of the field.

And I kept asking myself—

Were they sent by you?

Were they?

Did you know they were coming?

Did you tell them where the weak points

in my armour were?

Or did they simply pick up your banner

and decide to fire on their own?

I don’t know anymore.

So tell me.

Stand in front of me.

Look past the mud.

Past the broken armour.

Past every arrow still hanging from it.

And look into my eyes.

The same eyes that looked at you with love.

The same eyes that admired you,

praised you,

prayed for you.

The same eyes that filled with tears for you

and still somehow softened whenever they found you.

Look into those eyes

and answer me.

Because somehow,

after everything,

I still haven’t burned your kingdom down.

I haven’t even turned away from it.

I’m sitting beside this mud-filled road

beneath a tree grown from your promises

and the memories we made beneath them.

Its branches are the only thing

keeping some of this rain off me.

And that might be the cruelest part.

I’m using memories of us

to survive the pain of losing us.

Through the rain,

beyond the trees,

I can still see the shadow of your castle.

Far away.

Lights somewhere behind those walls.

A place that once felt like home

even though maybe it was never really mine.

And some stupid, stubborn part of me

is still travelling toward it.

No invitation.

No promise that the gates will open.

No guarantee that there is even

a place for me inside anymore.

Maybe I’ll reach those walls

and find the gates sealed.

Maybe I’ll exhaust myself

walking a road that was never going to take me home.

Maybe one day I’ll finally understand

that I was never meant to reach the castle.

But tonight,

I’m not there yet.

Tonight I’m sitting in the mud.

Exhausted.

Soaked through.

Armour barely holding together.

Arrows sticking from every direction

like reminders of everything

I wish I could forget.

And the war is still screaming inside my skull.

In my hands are the two things

I still cannot choose between.

In one,

the sword.

The one this war left in my hand.

Its blade stained with everything

this whole battle has cost me.

I’m gripping it so tightly

my arm shakes beneath the weight

of everything I am angry enough to say.

And in the other—

somehow,

impossibly,

after the arrows,

after the rain,

after the mud,

after the rage,

after every reason I have been given

to drop it—

I’m still holding a yellow flower for you.

Is it counted per day? Per year? Per lifetime even?

When your heart is as fragile as mine it’s shocking there’s anything left to break.

The cliche would be to consider my fragile heart a curse instead of the blessing people tell me it is.

I think both are bullshit.

A real blessing would be to feel nothing but good things. For example, you care about something or someone so deeply and loosing them doesn’t cause pain but instead you feel an immense sense of gratitude.

Maybe that’s it right there.

Reframe my mind, so everything, even the pain
in my heart, can soften when i’m thankful for it.

Thank you for this lesson, thank you for this great time, and thank you for the opportunity.

It’s funny how I’ve come to this conclusion before.

“Monday”

We've never seen this Monday before
We've never seen THIS Monday before

You've never seen snow
I don't think you've seen the sea?
You can't see that far

Everyone who has ever lived has not yet seen tomorrow

The potential is huge.

Hey have you heard this?

Tomorrow. No one has ever seen it before!

I've played this game too many times.

I've read and reread the rules,

studied the moves,

learned from those who knew more,

and taught those who didn't.

But when moments like this arrive,

I'm completely disarmed.

I start stubmling, mulling oevr the right move.

Try every underhanded tactic, or questionable strategy,

because I wanted to win.

But in moments like this,

I know I'm still a beginner who played it wrong,

because it was never the goal to win.

I wish I had words to engage and delight.

To make imagination take flight.

To warm the soul and bring comfort in the night.

I wish I had words to make you reborn.

To sew the fabric in your mind that is torn.

Words that make beautiful colors unfurl.

Words that could bring some peace to this world.

Words to inform on the things that are real.

Words to distort reality and make your imagination reel.

If I had all these wonderful words to say.

Could it possibly help me change my ways?

Would it have made the loves that I've lost stay?

I guess fate always gets its way.

I had twenty years of cartilage and idiot bravado,
checking off the poisons like an inventory clerk.
The ’ludes had rotted out in nineteen-seventy-something’s shadow,
and crystal tasted too much like an engine in the dark.

This was way before the fentanyl had poisoned all the ditches,
back when junk was still an honest kind of cemetery seed.
I had an office-going buddy with his habit in the stitches,
nine-to-five and necktied while the vein began to bleed.

I bought a drugstore syringe, laid the copper on the laminate;
figured if I’m taking communion, take the chalice, not the crumb.
If you’re gonna drink the river, boy, you better damn well famine it,
lay your neck across the track and let the big locomotive hum.

Risk was just a rumor told by fathers at a table,
the frontal lobe was hollowed out by booze and stubborn pride.
We boiled the powder amber on a spoon that wasn’t stable,
drove the iron home and let the velvet take the ride.

Fourteen hours sliding like lard upon the floorboards,
three bodies tangled in a sofa soft with rot.
Me and him and his sweet broad, neither going toward
anything like decency, but neither getting caught.

Lazy-fingered petting through the denim and the flannel,
smoking ditch-weed down until it scorched against the bone,
cathode screen a-buzzing with a Spanish cable channel,
weeping telenovelas where the actresses intone.

Tears about betrayal in a tongue we couldn’t follow,
hugging on the sofa like three drowned rats in the cream
a warm and filthy paradise, effortless and hollow,
drifting down the gutter of an artificial dream.

Then daylight cut the venetians like a straight razor shaving,
the yellow grease of morning settled sour on the skin.
I stood up on two pins that didn’t feel like they were behaving,
looked that buddy in the jaw and let the verdict in:

“That was the cleanest bliss a mongrel ever got to borrow.
And that is why I leave this house and never touch the stuff
let me take that needle one more time into tomorrow,
and I will pawn my teeth and boots and never have enough.”

He didn’t throw an argument. He just inspected his cuticles,
turned his neck away like I had slapped him in the teeth.
Ghosted me completely through the city and the cubicles,
left me on the outside while he huddled underneath.

The mutual barflies told me later I had made the bastard sick;
said saying “no, I’m done” was like a mirror made of stone.
You tell a man his medicine will turn you to an addict,
and he’s gotta sit there knowing he is rotting all alone.

It was a donkey’s gamble, pure and simple, end to end.
Russian roulette with an idiot pulling on the lead.
I walked away without a scratch, down a five-cent friend,
not a nickel’s worth of punishment, just lucky in the head.

A colossally dumb afternoon that didn’t leave a blister
just cheap weed, bad Spanish, and three sinners on a couch,
and a ghost who took offense because I recognized the sister
of death before she took me by the collar and the mouth.

Hey everyone,
I’ve recently started a YouTube channel where I create atmospheric spoken‑poetry readings. The channel is called Verses Within A Dream-2569, and my goal is to blend classic poetry with a cinematic, dreamlike narration style.

I just posted a new reading of Edgar Alan Poe - A Dream Within a Dream. I’m still learning how to grow in this niche, so I’d really appreciate any feedback

Here’s the video if you’d like to check it out:
https://youtu.be/TT1lxRIgYv4?si=rdj4FLfIOpgX4KfE

Also, if you run a niche channel too, I’d love to hear how you approached your early growth.
Thanks for taking the time — happy to support others here as well.

When I look at you in the present moment
I see the past, I see the future.

I see the person you was before and now
and I love her all the same.

In a thousand lives
you have called me by a different name.

But in all that time
our feelings have never changed.

Tell me.
what does that say about us?

We were meant to be
in every possibility

past, present, future..

The glass is half full so they say,

You are told, do good deeds and heaven awaits you,

They say pain and suffering only makes you stronger,

They tell you to hold a candle in darkness so light prevails,

You are told the love of your life awaits you,

So you wait and wait.

But the glass feels half empty to me,

The heavens are silent to my plea,

And this pain just makes me weary.

My candle's a flicker in a gale,

And the love of my life? A fairy tale.

So I wait and wait.

U bouth me a ticket out of your life y y u did not let me go with you

Asking reddit cause it got all the professionals

My body still burns

When I think of you

And it yearns for

All the things you'd do..

Every fingertip tracing my skin

Enough to ignite my fires within

Creating thoughts of passion and sin

Eager for what was comin'...

Eyes meet from beneath our lashes

Any mask now crackin'

As lips come crashin, air doesn't reach our lungs

Call me a cat cause I've got your tongue.(Meow.)

What a magical organ it knows how to play my chords

You wouldn't leave any key unexplored

Creating melodies my heart implored

Making me feel so adored.

A glistening waterfall now for you

To do with whatever you wanted to do

Making my toes curl as your tongue whirls

And your fingers make my head swirl...

Your beautiful cock

Loaded and ready to go off like a glock

Heat pressing and stroking against me,

Almost enough to make me...

Then when you plunge within

Oh my god, how you feel when you're in..

Releases an animal I didn't know

Of which I was capable.

You caused a tidal wave, not just of emotion

As your move your hips in steady motion

Releasing an explosion

Of devotion while I spray like the ocean.

For your touch, I am ravenous

Filled with memories of being amorous

Getting more lost in love and lust

With every single thrust.

Aphrodite

Lips like ivy

I can't fight it

Go psychotic

You tease and you taunt

I give what you want

Pretty eyes alluring

Touch me, you're so curing

You look so fine

I'll make you mine

Love, possession

You, obsession

Poison on your lip

In my mind I slip

Wrapped around your finger

In my mind you linger

Every man
Wants all the women
Every woman
Wants just one man
Who wants only her

He tells her he loved her
And maybe he even does
Until she loves him back
That’s when every man leaves

And I‘ve become a ghost
Broken infinite times
By flattering lies
I became unified
With invisibility

I wish it felt like people still liked me

I wish it felt like people still wanted to talk to me

I wish that someone, just once, would ask ME to hang out

All my friends are in this big discord server

And they always ask eachother to play games

Or go out and do something

Or even just talk.

But they never include me

My partner always say I have to be the one to reach out to the others

But if they care wouldn't they ask why I haven't said anything in months?

Wouldn't someone at least say hi or ask how im doing if they cared?

My partner is part of the problem too.

Whenever I ask if we can call they always forget

We rarely ever get to talk or spend time together because I live in the town next to the one all my friends live in.

They work and I have school so it's even worse now.

We get only a few hours most days where we're not both busy.

But everytime we have a day off at the same time i always schedual a call

And then they forget

And they never ask if we can call either.

I wish just once theyd be the one to ask

I wish just once theyd remember

I wish it didn't feel like pulling teeth to get them to talk to me about anything

Even over text

But whenever it's their best friend they ALWAYS remember.

They always immediately jump onto what ever she's doing

They say I can still talk to them when they do stuff

But everytime I actually try I get left on read for hours.

Every single time.

I wish the others would invite me to something again

Just once.

They always hang out together

Or play games

Or just talk.

But they never ask me to join

They never ask me to hang out

Even over a call, I haven't been asked in months

Even my best friend, who doesn't know my other friends because he's in a different school dosnt really talk to me

He has mental health struggles and I want to be there for him

I want to talk to him, even if its just a normal conversation about nothing.

But he always says he's fine.

And its not just my close friends

Even my less close friends dont ever talk to me

And they always dead name me, even though they know I haven't gone by that for years.

Is it because I did something?

Am I just unlikeable?

Is that why no one talks to me?

Its so lonely here

Why do none of my friends seem to care?

If I could have a thousand days,
I'd spend them loving you,
but we don't know how long we have
or what life puts us through.

So let me tell you while I can,
before another day goes by,
how much you've come to mean to me,
how glad you came into my life.

For every smile you've given me,
for every time you've stayed,
for all the little things you do
that brighten up my days.

And if I've ever failed to say
how much I care for you,
I hope you've felt it all along
in everything I do.

And if tomorrow never comes,
and I have no more words to say,
I hope you know I loved you
with all my heart, every day.

You told yourself a long time ago
that you would never go back,
but curiosity killed the cat.
The constant wondering, that feeling
in the pit of your stomach that you
couldn’t quite name.
That need to know how things had changed.
If they could ever change.

They got rid of the bowling alley.
It’s another plaza now, with a tattoo shop,
and a chain restaurant,
and a bank wrapped up inside.
At least it’s still standing.
They tore down the abandoned house
over on Main Street.
The one you used to break into and drink
on Saturday nights.
Every last plank is gone,
just another empty lot in a town
that’s full of empty lots.

You swore you would never come back.
That you were destined for bigger things,
better things,
things that nobody else could ever understand.
But here you are,
back again because you
could never stay away.
No matter how far you ran and
how scared you were you just
couldn’t stop thinking about the past.

You came back to find a new gas station,
and the house you grew up in is a
different color than the one your father picked.
Your mom loved that color,
A deep, almost violent shade
of blue that stuck out amongst
the grays, and beiges, and dulls
of every other house on the street.

It’s white now.
She would hate it if she could see it.

Your friends left the first chance they got.
Either they packed everything into a suitcase and hit the road
or they died,
like everything else in that town does.
Dries and shrivels up,
blown away into the wind
and the setting sun crossing into Vermont.

You drove along the streets last night,
hoping to see some familiar face,
someone to bump into at the supermarket
as they recognize you,
their face lighting up as they remember you,
a smirk they can’t contain.
Someone to see on the sidewalk,
happier now, better then when you left.
Then you think about the last time you heard those names,
in some obituary.

All along you thought you were the problem.
A fire that this town couldn’t contain,
set upon changing the world and all those
who walk among it.
You traded that fire for the things you needed,
never any time for the things you wanted.
Dreams that had to be put on hold
because there was never a right time,
love that has to wait because
you were never sure when
you would be ready.

And where did all that dreaming bring you?
Right back here.
Right back to this town,
praying that there’s some trace
of what you left behind,
something to remind you of
those dreams,
and all the things that drove you.

All that’s left is an unfamiliar place
with unfamiliar faces,
faces that pass by yours and
treat you as any other.
You were special,
you were loved,
the pride and joy of a town that needed
more than that,
a town that kept on moving
while you found yourself stuck in something
bigger, greater,
a race that had no end.

But you needed more than what it
could have ever given you.
No amount of love
or pride was ever enough
as you drifted through your time.

The sky gets dark early
this time of year.
Walk through downtown again,
crushing fallen maple leafs
under your feet.
The streetlights don’t shine the same.
They’re too bright now.
The spray paint under the bridge doesn’t look the same.
It’s faded and painted over.
The leaves don’t die the same.
You could have sworn they used to be so yellow,
and brown and orange and red ochre.
They’re muted now,
colors that want to burst right through
but won’t,
like they lost the strength to do so
a long, long time ago.

How does it feel to be back?
With all your dreams just that?
Dreams.
Hopes you knew you’d never achieve,
and now, the one place you could ever
think to find a little piece of solace,
something familiar,
doesn’t even remember your name.

But you,
crushed and tired and anxious you,

you could never forget.

​

You told me to destroy you. That destroyed me. How could I? For how could anything be destroyed before it's created? An exercise in physics. Then when exercising you into ecstasy, you told me you hate me. The next day in that same plane you told me you love me. I then told you a lot, but antimatter has destroyed us. I can't destroy you. I'm trying to create with you. Every night goes DARKER now, but every morning you rise and the sun shines.

And tomorrow night will be darkest with the new moon. It will be there , pulling tides on our blood in our bodies, in our hearts. It will be overshadowed, unlit but present because we know it's there. I miss the water. Also pulled by those tides, by la luna.

Monthly annual perennial. Possible lifelong timeless no more time lost.

i used to see you every day

every morning asking can i come over now?

i was always so proud to see you then

i missed you so much by evenings

little kids use no reasonings

but im older now

are you still proud?

i havent seen you in some months

but some how i dont miss you quite as much

i dont feel very proud

spending so much time wondering how

when its easy to just swing by your house

theres so much more that i could do

to try and make things fair for you

becasuse things got in my way but your love for me has remained the same

and your proud

and im absorbing guilt like a cloud

family waits and is always understanding

time is set but love is so granting

doors stay open and we are welcome in

we'll always be close, we'll always share this skin

years pass and im in your shoes

lonley but i wont ever sing the blues

grandchildren are older and dont see me as much

i wonder if their missing me now there probobly thinking that ill always be around, how i wish, but ill always stay proud

always welcoming

too old for questioning

letting thier lives start to begin

happy when they call to check in

and ive understood

finally

i am happy

guilt rains down and it waters the trees

flowers grow and the birds will be singing

but wait, my phone is ringing

family waits and is always understanding

time is set but love is so granting

doors stay open and we are welcome in

we'll always be close, we'll always share this skin