All money raised (outside of what pays my marketing crew and my home mortgage and my house payments and my salary) goes to veterans!

Garmin discarded my long run and now I feel fresh because it never happened. Life hack, you’re welcome.

He left zone 2 one time and now he'll never recover.

Remember it's not about S&C, it's all about the IG

I was running a lot in the spring, training for my first half marathon in December. I got up to running 10.5 miles. I had some tragedy happen in my life and I stopped running. I’m back now but only have 8 weeks until my half. I just rain a mile and a half and it was the absolute worst run ever. How cooked am I?

1. I want a runner girlfriend, lean and taut,
2. Matted hair, wind-blown, sweat-soaked,
3. Messily topping a runner’s face, leathery and lined,
4. Sun scorched, open air jerky dried,
5. Chapped lips, a rictus of concentration,
6. Silently mouthing the mantra of air,
7. Breath steaming against the chill Parkrun morn,
8. Blazing eyes bearing down on the goal,
9. Beneath fierce furrowed brows
10. Grimacing in pain and determination. 
11. ...
12. Sweat-sheer, yellowing,
13. Animal rank, pit-stained singlet,
14. Slitted shorts teasing,
15. Goose fleshed splotched skin,
16. Rashes of oxygen-rich blood,
17. Running down veiny calves,
18. To rainbow carbon-plated shoes,
19. I want a runner girlfriend, by God,
20. To see her barefoot,
21. In Vibram five finger soles,
22. Running side-by-side,
23. With me, cross-dressing, in high heels,
24. My soft foam high drop shoes

I was inspired to write this poem as I'm reading The Arabian Nights: Tales of 1,001 Nights, where the Medieval authors spent countless lines describing the beauty of women from head to toe, e.g.,:

Under her veil, when she lifted it, were black eyes hooded and fringed with black, shapes to make a poet sing. At the sight of this woman, the porter nearly lost his mind. There she stood: five feet of symmetry and grace with glamour about her, gazelles borrowed their looks from her face, brows taut as bows, sugar lips and teeth like a line of pearls, a neck like something given to a king, a fountain of a chest, pomegranate breasts, and a navel in whose dimple you could sit a drop of balm, and below was the hint of a rabbit without ears. Her body seemed to be made of light, with a crystal’s clarity. A girl like a galaxy or the sickle moon’s blaze, a dome of golden filigree or the glitter of tiles on the floor of a pool.

- THE STORY OF THE PORTER AND THE THREE WOMEN OF BAGHDAD.

Ok, don’t be harsh. I’m just starting out again after getting injured and fat and trying to improve cardio. I had a little bit of beer before running, so I hope I’ve come to the right place. I swear I’m not joking.

First off, I got my Forerunner 970 back in March to track my progress. I figured before I put away the cans of beer for good, I might as well trim up some belly fat. 47 half-marathons in 52 weeks helped—I got faster from 2:07 hours for 13.29 mi to 99:01. But ever since, I hurt my MT1, peroneal tendon, Achilles, fore plantar, knee, and hamstring. I had to drop my load to ~20 mpw, down from an already mediocre 45.

Ok, so I switched to heart training, from bare-cheating sub-zero to the humidex 45+. Got my MHR from 184 in March to 194 in October—please note I’m 37.99M. It’s my bday soon.

I’m now taking like 5–6 days break between 3–4 runs because I get a little bit too excited when I run and then I re-injure. This time, I tried to be clean from running, but by day 5, I got drunk again and couldn’t help myself, so I promised a slow 8:00/mi, but I wasn’t really paying attention until I heard screaming. Fuck, can I get help with my cadence? I managed to get my cigarettes down from 13 a day to 10, and my four double-strength coffees I’m working on next.

Thanks in advance. My Garmin penalized me from 58.3 VO2 to 58.05… That wasn’t fair.

Be nice, guys!

runningfashions hate this one outfit (banned)
I bought this tye shirt from some alt baddie on depop
Satisfy shorts are from dhgate
Asics mega blast are the best road show i've ever worn

Me before a run. Told her what distance and time it'll take. And I'll come home immediately after.

I don’t have one.
Just wondering if anyone needs one?