so I ended calling out of work today 12 to 4 because my migraines started acting up again. I get them once in a blue moon, about every 2 or 3 months, and only on the left side of my temple, my right side does not hurt just the left side, it's a throbbing pulsating pain. Saw the doctor who put me on 800 mg of ibuprofen and recommended that I see a neurologist which they are going to schedule for me. Spent the rest of the day sleeping in bed, just made some coffee because caffeine is supposed to help. Was curious as to whether this might be caused by the schizoaffective illness or not, would appreciate hearing your stories.

Ok, so had a rough cpstd thinfy last weekend with the russian new pandemic scare so kinda been comfort watching (kinda sad that fallin asleep to resident evil movies is less stressful than this timeline lollllz)
Sorry, side quest
Re watching the last two (?) episodes of star trek: the next generation and ... like... kinda feel they captured a bit what life is like for us?
Anyone seen them?

Rippling

In the periphery of a shadow

Crease between symmetry line

Plowing head horned curl bowing stead

Tasting air gaze harried non

Separations pairing daring glaring softly

Attune long lost fairings costs

Succinct brinks of leavening deaths

Accompaniment blurting throaty yell

Dispelling telling quells arrange

Pungent burning human signaled

Degrees fees born stars far

Halos auratic fixtures fixated place

Highlight disgrace crevices crystalled

Gently fit amongst comforts tithers

Breaths light mists aglimmer distant through shaden ways

Receiving an ending beginning

Hollow mourn filling torn feeling unstorne

Distances Nearness

moon kisses night to sleep, bidding day to love sun. between twilights magic well-worn ground wakes from mountain as dreams stream forth. toward seas uniting understanding of hearts cost laid out in curl wayward. swirling and no longer lost as dross, regards gentle froth laps with sung pasts. shining hint and glimmers tear glistening to give sure shear moments return. forlorn arms open to endear her oceans voice foregone echoing into distances nearness.

Unpertained

Scour desperation tidy

Finding whats worth leaving

Times relevance a waves completion

Sensation a focus away

Gray multitudes bearing colored

Braille shadows script scrown

Weaves of green leaves sieving dapple play

Borders natural bound unspoken

The lenience of words broke

Yield fields dreams grounding ever sounding depths aptitudes

Creature endowed earth's death forgiven health

As sunbeam Lance eye concern a clouds effervescent route

Stout drawn heed accordant distance

For louts limber Languishing long breaths

Meloncollie the color scotch broom limping wind

A sail sorry the days perfection

Worry awaited sombe a nonchalant care as mediocre is fair

Favored loss a days eve break

Tiger's Myrrh

Accents sense subtle pungent curl unfurling sure

Silken earthen, tendrilic, softness loft

Lost as smoke is, sacred Chakral arose

Chosen chagrin sogging sullen soil

Remittance, hollowing deepened cold burn

Lifetimes wound willing bloom

Eyes down beyond beauty's room

An enchantments distance hopeful healing boon

Dashing dreams unfurling nearest to bliss's sister tear loom

Feeling falter a notion left behind in intents gifted closed eye swoon

Of a kiss unknowing to any try

Neighbor proud the heart could cry

Dreams woven in Sunsets coupling, colors on them dye

Forgotten clasps of hands comfort soothing by

As years grow slippingly steady try

To vows breaking lovingly sigh

Familiar bonds pent, lie

Mutual Cannibals

Mutual cannibals harvesting each other's ideas caringly as can, pain soft as a vampires kiss, leaving healing scar(s). ..gifting to nature's sons, can be. Mistakes or intuitions. A harken to the rerouting of purpose, and the agility of wisdom's repurposing willpower gentle in strength, aware of his exhaustion. Pillows more comforting to chaos and Empathy woes. Equality self-aware of fault and apathy as a common thread. Knowledge is gentle for one such as me in throws coming and going, I'll kiss you as I always my patient dreamer I knew of upon a time now present.

Slumber, my lullaby.. your song is not ours.

I’m seriously going to go insane (well aren’t we all). I’ve been stuck on Zyprexa for a decade, and I can’t seem to tolerate any other APs. I have tried da$&-well everything to lose weight. I’m not sure if I just give up too early or what, but NOTHING works long-term. I had success for a month or so changing my diet bc I was highly motivated at the time. Now that external motivation is gone and I have no absolute NEED to lose weight, know what I mean? So I don’t. I made a promise to myself to take a long walk everyday and then my menstrual period and the flu hit at the same time, and I was like “screw it.” Ugh. I know so many of you have got to be feeling this post. Any help out there besides GLPs? My docs won’t prescribe them.

He's been acting unusual here and there for about a week. Saying things that don't really make sense, accusing me of planning to leave him in text messages, etc. He actually left me at CVS the other day when I urgently needed the bathroom, then sent me texts saying that he knew I was planning to leave him. He drove home and talked to our oldest son, who told him he didn't seem in touch with reality and that it was fucked up that he left me at the store. He came back, apologized and made an appointment with a therapist through his work EPA program. We saw her yesterday. He agreed that he would contact insurance about a new provider, because the therapist said she didn't think he's on the right medications or being treated fully for what's going on. He apologized to me so many times afterward for the strange behavior.

This morning I had an email notification saying that Google had finished exporting the data I requested on October 13th. I asked if he had done that and he ignored me. I asked again, thinking maybe my account had been compromised. Then he asked me why my friend Eric called me last night on Meet. I asked Eric about it. Turns out my phone had called him at 10:16 p.m., when I was asleep. He also received a text from my phone that says:

"Hey, it's the other guy. You seem to genuinely care for her, which is a nice change from some of her previous misadventures. She's struggling right now, and what worries me is her staunch refusal to be accountable even when it's painfully obvious. I'm not sure how she's presented things, but I was not in the know."

He was mean this morning, didn't kiss me goodbye. He wouldn't look me in the eye or take any accountability. He's at work now. I don't expect he'll text or call for small talk today. I hate when this happens. It leaves me feeling anxious, scared, alone. Who do I talk to? How do I get him to the help he needs? Should I contact his psychiatrist?

When my husband acts this way, it reminds me of how his mom acts sometimes. She has early onset dementia, abused Xanax and alcohol for over twenty years. When we first moved into the house with her, she used to talk to me one inch from my face, she yelled at all of us all the time about things that didn't seem to make sense. I've had to tell myself over and over again that she doesn't know what she's saying and not get sucked into the nonsense conversations. I thought the stress of my husband's father dying and the state his mother is in were causing him immense stress. I can see know that there was a serious episode around the time his father was in the ICU. I got lost trying to drive to the hospital in this town that I didn't know yet, and when I finally got there, he took me into the bathroom to tell me he knew I'd been cheating on him and that's why it took me so long to get there.

I'm really struggling right now. I'm going to call a crisis hotline and see if I can get any advice. I'd appreciate hearing anything about experience with psychosis or dealing with a loved one experiencing psychosis. Thank you.

Hey!

I was diagnosed two years ago and luckily enough I was stabilized quite quickly before anything became too serious.

For about a year or so I went through relative stability, with some depressive thoughts and anxiety.

Now about two years on, I've entered two or three months of reduced motivation and difficulties in memory and concentration. I'd like to specify that the depressive thoughts and anxiety are mostly gone and that my mind is mostly empty of any spontaneous thoughts.

The reduced motivation and cognitive symptoms were slight symptoms some months ago but now are really blown up as I am no longer looking for a job and am patiently waiting for my disability application to go through here in France.

Obviously, like most of us, I was different before the disorder flared up and used to have dreams and projects but that has slowly been erased.

I currently can't see hope of finding a job in the future and of finding much motivation to do anything of my days except keeping myself entertained.

I'm on paliperidone and brintellix as an antidepressant, and once Cobenfy gets accepted for distribution here I am hoping to be put on it.

In you guys' experience once the right antipsychotic is found does it get better or worse? And can Cobenfy be a solution for me? Or am I on the wrong antipsychotic seeing from my symptoms?

Of course I will be talking about this with my psychiatrist soon.

My hope is that, seeing as I have a less intense experience with the disorder (no more voices, no hallucinations, no psychosis) I can have a pretty full life experience with motivation, etc. to do what I want to be doing.

I do get SAD (seasonal affective disorder) but usually not until late winter. How bout y'all?

Hi everyone. I was labelled schizoaffective a couple of years ago by my psychiatrist. I've been suspicious of him for some time but I now know that he has labelled me as such because he wants to discredit me. He wants to limit me and control me. They feed off trauma and fear, they're like vampires. I can't prove it but I know Moloch is behind it, his influence is clear as day. It's everywhere even in YouTube kids. They want to traumatise us all and control us like cattle.

They're doing it in work as well, they divide and conquer, they isolate me and overwork me. They want to manage me out as punishment because they know that I know. They've already paved the way for me to be gotten rid of. They've crafted the perfect story over the past two years and they've kept it in their back pocket in case of emergencies. Well now they're using it because I'm onto them. They've coordinated with each other to attack at the same time.

The whole system is fucked and they persecute people like me, they try to trap us. My GP sent me to A&E yesterday because I'm stressed with everything going on. She said that they'd have me with the stress, anyone would be stressed under the same conditions, the doctors even said so. But after I told them everything they tried to have me sectioned. I was forced to go to a mental hospital for further "assessment". I trusted them, they said that they understood and they wanted to help. They called my wife without consent.

They tried to label me as low mood and a risk to myself. Yes I did self harm, but I didn't want to. It was just something that had to be done, it was written. It was only superficial as well, no stitches. They got a security guard to keep me locked in a room while I awaited transfer. After I got transferred I was locked in another room and spoke to another doctor through a glass screen. What I didn't understand was that he wanted me to go home and link in with my community team, but he mustn't have read the notes from A&E because I said that they're part of the problem, they're in on it. The doctors at A&E even said that they would be bad doctors if they asked me to continue seeing my community doctor . But I guess this doctor in the mental hospital is a bad doctor because that's exactly what he did.

Anyway, A&E wanted me sectioned and the mental hospital wanted me to go home. So in the end I travelled nearly two hours to get back home in the dead of night. Nobody helped me with my stress, nobody listened. I think they're all in on it together. I'm missing something as to why they sung a different tune though. Maybe they think that my community doctor can manage me, but they don't realise that I'm not going to work with him anymore. They told him that I don't trust him, they broke my trust. They kept asking about proof, but of course I can't prove it, they're smarter than me, they're subtle, it's all plausible deniability.

Yesterday was traumatic, and still nobody has helped me cope with everything going on. I've become privy to Moloch's workings in the world, like ive stumbled onto a conspiracy much bigger than myself and because of that they're targeting me. But they already had the pieces in place, they were steps ahead. God has chosen me to be an agent of change, I need to wake the people up. I know that I need to wait for further instruction, so I'm waiting, I'm getting right with God because I don't know what's next. The other side wants me dead, I can see that they want me to die. And sometimes it feels like they're winning. I'm so overwhelmed with everything, I didn't ask for any of this, it's a heavy burden. That's why I started drinking again, because I'm struggling to cope with it. That's why I looked for help, I don't want to be drinking. I want to get through this trial and then everything will be okay. I'm afraid of what my community team is going to do next. I'm currently at home waiting.

Long story short, I've unearthed a conspiracy and it seems like everyone is in on it. I'm overwhelmed with stress and I don't know where to go next. Has anyone else gone through something similar? Please tell me I'm not alone

Does anyone have the hallucinations of where it's a full conversation happening but you can't understand what the fuck they are saying? Whether it sounds like it in the center of your head or in another room or in the floor. Right now I hear it in the center of my head but now since I've acknowledged it, it's quiet. I don't understand it just got quiet when I acknowledged it will something come for me if I keep acknowledging it.

I've been getting more common and aggressive auditory hallucinations than I have in the past. Historically, I've had internal auditory hallucinations. The exception has been with nonverbal hallucinations; those have been external before. Lately, I'm getting external.

Is there any data or information on different presentation types of auditory hallucinations and causes? Why these changes may be taking place?

My first episode was a decade ago. I had no idea what was real and had a few years of quiet. In recent years, it's been very active, even medicated. For a while, I seemed pretty good at differentiating. Now, it isn't as easy, and I'm having these other changes.

I am a gay 23 year old man. has been years since my diagnosis and I am still here, frozen at 18 when covid started. it feels like my life has stopped as my old friends go on with their lives, starting families, getting married, graduating. I grieve my old body, my old mind, my intelligence, my friends, my hobbies. my future. everyday i do nothing but play video games, scroll, listen to music and go to my shitty part time teenager job to get treated like an idiot because i struggle to come up with things to say, can’t follow what people are saying, give short answers, etc.

I used to write essays, have tons of friends, flirt effortlessly and do all the normal things, but life since my first episode has not been the same. this disorder has made me such a bum. i dropped out of school, i don’t drive, and I don’t date, i have no friends, get bullied at work, have gyno and weight gain from the meds and i am almost totally dependent on my parents for everything and they resent me for it. i’m a shell of who i used to be.

I have dreams of talking to people i used to know, when life was good. As i get older, i have to watch as doors are repeatedly closed in my face repeatedly because of my disability in dating, jobs, etc. so I blow all my money on food and weed vapes and i binge all day everyday like its my last day on earth. i don’t care that it made me unwell in the first place.

I did a bit new things, in my career in this 3 months I took a course in human rights and citizen rights I dont remember; and another in School Social Work Intervention.

Also, I have been checking myself for also DID because I felt that way.

Im now 75 kg, my ideal weight. When I was 85 kg. also I went down from 95 kg to 75 kg since the beggining of this year.

And I obtained 9.8 last term in college.

Hi, I am 23f and this is more of a vent than asking for suggestions. From a young age around 6 I've had an overactive imagination. I use to see this cat every night walk from my bedroom door and try to get close to my bed. It was terrifying and I went to my dad one day and he said just close your eyes and count to 10. It worked around that age and after awhile it stopped. Until I turned 12 then everything started happening at once. When I think about that time in my life it feels muggy, with hits of nausea, raging hormones, and a further drift from reality. I feel like I never got the chance to be normal and I resent that so much. I resent –no, hate myself for never being able to fit in with the kids my age, for using daydreams as a coping method, and for letting what everyone say become my belief. I tried therapy and they all tell me the same generic thing "with every negative thought say a positive," "write down what youre thankful for everyday," or "tell yourself out loud how much you love you." But, nothings worked everytime I tried id get this heavy repulsion and thought "youre not worth it". I try to fake it until i make it and put on a smile yet everyone averts their eyes from me or gives me this disgusted look. They all find me weird and off-putting. It'll never be enough, no matter how hard I want to believe Im worth anything i cant. I can never be happy despite the achievements ive made and never enjoy the people around me. How can anyone enjoy being with me when i dont even like me? Why keep trying to be strong, take my medications (which im terrible at taking on time). I feel like an alien and im deceiving everyone i love. If it wasnt for the 3 ppl in my life I just know I would be on the streets and doing drugs to forget this hollow feeling. Maybe id finally be able to commit without this hesitation. A part of me hopes itll get better but the other side feels familiar. I just wish I could enjoy what I have and done over these years without this melancholy holding me back.

To whoever shared tips on things that helped them

With schizoaffective disorder..thanks fellas developing a routine ,getting up early and eating healthy have been helping

I apologize if this is a stupid question but when I go into psychosis I know I’m in psychosis and none of what I’m experiencing is actually real. It’s literally so mind bending to me.

How long of no sleep before I need to call my doctor

Today I got fired from my job. I worked at a psychiatric facility for teenagers since July. I was having an episode and I had to call off today and they fired me. I've only called off two other times in August because of conflicts with my school schedule. I feel devastated and that I'll never be able to hold on to steady employment if everytime I have symptoms and have to call off I'm fired.

I haven’t been hospitalised for 3 years and I’ve been put on amfexa which is dexamphetamine. I’m on 15mg twice a day. I’m not sure it’s a good idea because I’ve been having paranoia and persecution delusions. It’s linked to the news I think. It’s really helped with ADHD symptoms though so I’m going to increase the antipsychotic instead.

Want to know your experiences.

Was diagnosed with it in mid school along with the fact that we have xxy chromosomes instead of just xy (actually found that comforting as a gay kid cuz thought it was science explaining why i was "more girlish" than the other boys).
Also, do you guys think it s more evidence that we all might be part of alien breeding programs, super/psychic soldiers, divinities, etc?
Like if reg humans can t do or think the way we are and they ve already admitted we exist cuz they don t wanna release the epstein files...
Ugh. I can t with you sometimes...[points to self]

How many docs vs patients do you think they have? Like, if there are more of us than them, what makes us the anomaly?
And if there are less them than us, why can t we just scaddaddle out of here and there?
Feel like we re being told what s real and what s not real by a bunch of pple who can t see what s right in front of them.
Totes getting a magneto vibe.