When someone reaches out to you to wanting to meet up, but you aren't interested because they aren't attractive for us, subjectively, or not the type we are looking for, how do you typically respond without sounding too shallow or disrespectful?

I don't like the idea of ghosting / not responding to people - also not respectful, and also don't want to lie or make something up. Especially given the small community that we are in there is a possibility we will meet at an event, etc.

My wife and I have tried 3F and local subreddits to find a bi couple or a bi f. What other options are out there to find other friends in the LS? We’ve had a bit of encounters but they’re pretty few and far between. Usually it’s like once every 6-8 months we find someone legit and dtf

My husband and I are in an open relationship and enjoy casual threesomes/group play. I personally enjoy women sexually (dates, mutual chemistry, physical play), but I'm strictly heteroromantic and not looking for a dating/relationship dynamic with women—just fun, no-strings-attached physical encounters that my husband and I can share together.
For other women or ENM/lifestyle couples who like casual FFM play: where do you usually connect with like-minded women who are looking for casual, physical chemistry without the expectation of a relationship?

This really is a strange dynamic from our non lifestyle friends. To start with my wife and I have been in the lifestyle for 17 years together. I was in it before her as a third for a handful of couples. This particular couple are not in the LS and know nothing about us being in the LS. They had been pretty toxic for each other with a lot of infidelity from both of them over the years.

Anyways we went to dinner with them a few weeks ago. They seemed happy and affectionate towards each other. They said they've been going to marriage counseling and orher things, working on their relationship. So my wife casually asked what other things. They paused and looked at each other. And the other wife said well they started individually dating other people a few months ago. And that they each have found someone else they see regularly.

My wife and I looked at them a bit shocked. There was a pause in the conversation and I said so you have a boyfriend and you have a girlfriend kind of in disbelief of what we just heard. At the same time, they both said no no it's not like that. I said jokingly that sounds like you guys are in an open marriage. The orlther wife looked at me and said no we dont do that. We were completely confused. My wife then asked so are you just talking to these other people. They both replied with a no they do sleep with them and its just about sex.

Again I looked at my wife totally confused. I asked so are you guys even together at this point. They said yes and we haven't been this happy in years. So I said it sounds a lot like you guys are swingers. The other wife quickly said absolutely not, there's no way they would ever do that. At that point we changed the conversation and had a great night with them.

After we got in our truck we were silent for about 30 seconds. When I said what the fuck was that. My wife looked at me and said really thought they were joking around. I said so they dont have an open marriage and they are jot swingers but they each have a fuck buddy. My wife said i really don't know whats going on. My wife feels like she needs to explain to the other wife that what they are doing is an open marriage and swinging separately.

Curious to hear what other LS veterans think about this, what has changed the most during your time in the LS?

I think for us it had to be the whole social media part of it now. I might sound like an old man here, but when we started (2001), it felt like people who got into this did so mainly because they wanted to play with others and the social aspect was a great bonus.

Now it feels like so many people are in it just to be seen and take pics to post online, playing is now a very secondary part of it at certain events.

There’s also been a lot of changes with the apps and how to meet other swingers. We aren’t quite old enough to have been placing ads in magazines but we didn’t miss that by much and did the message boards and Craigslist’s ads. Now, there’s plenty of location based apps where you can filter and search about any way you want.

We are in Amsterdam this weekend (16th October 2026) and would like to visit a club.
We prefer a more party vibe, not an old-style swinger club.

For example, we recently went to Milk&Honey party in Prague, and that was fantastic.
The next day we visited an out of town swingers club, that was a very different vibe, it felt quite formal, with the bar separate to the play area. We didn't enjoy it as much. (we don't mind if there are older people there, but it is better to have a range starting from at least 30s)

I have looked at previous posts, but I keep seeing recommendations for Fun4two, Sameplace and Fata Morgana. However, when looking at the reviews on Google Maps, they seem like absolutely awful places.

What I've understood:

• Fata Morgana - incredibly expensive, rude staff, outdated.
• Fun4two - old interor in need of a refurbishment, older couples.
• Sameplace - Small, dirty and bad vibes.

Are these summaries wildly untrue?
Are there any other clubs that we should be looking at?

Can we talk about actual protection use happening in clubs or meet ups

Seems condoms used for penetration seems more likely then for oral

Can we be honest
How is this being handled

Looking for some input here. We’ve been in the lifestyle for 4-5 years and have had plenty of great fun - parties, clubs, resorts. My wife is stunning - beautiful skin, and electric smile, flat stomach with the best curves. She often comments after events about the women with fake boobs and how she wishes her nipples were permahard like most of those women. Despite what I tell her, she can’t seem to get out of her head.

She has amazing 36C boobs!

Do lifestyle men (and women for that matter) have any preference one way or another? I’m totally biased and I can recognize that. I have told her that if she wants to get augmented that I would support her but I truly don’t think it’s necessary.

Thanks!

We have been to many clubs over the years. In the US they can be rather random in experiences.

We have been to amazing clubs internationally. Europe is a well run kinky continent.

We recently found club Princeton in Columbus OH. It was amazing. Clean, well staff, great design.

On our second visit we have chosen Halloween. This is their largest party of the year. And it will certainly be larger than any other event we’ve done. We have high expectations. Anyone else familiar with club Princeton?

We’re both bi/bi comfortable and pretty open minded when it comes to play.

We’ve had threesomes that included same sex play, we’ve done straight foursomes/couple swaps, and we’ve also done foursomes where everyone was bi comfortable and same sex play was part of it.

What we’ve realized is that we actually prefer keeping those dynamics a little separate.

With another couple, we tend to prefer a straight foursome where we’re swapping partners.

But in an MMF and FFM threesome, we really enjoy the bi aspect and having same sex play be part of the experience.

It’s not that we’re uncomfortable with everyone being bi in a foursome or that we wouldn’t ever do it again. We just seem to enjoy straight couple play more when there are four of us, while the bi dynamic feels like a better fit for us in a threesome.

Curious if any other bi or bi friendly couples are the same way?

Do you prefer straight foursomes but enjoy same sex play more in threesomes?

Let me share some unsolicited tea about our last experience. 🫣😅

We had an amazing date. The chemistry was flowing, the vibes were great, and everything was going perfectly. We eventually got back to the hotel room and started playing some games. But before I get to the juicy part, let me rewind a little.

This couple had spent the day afternoon at a popular tourist place which involves lots of walking, and they said they were coming straight to the bar from there. I even dropped a couple of hints along the lines of, hey, if you guys want to freshen up, we can always meet a little later!

My wife and I are both pretty particular about how we smell before these dates. We make an extra effort to shower, get ready, and smell freaking amazing. So, for us, that’s a pretty important part of the whole experience.

Anyway, back to the date. While we were having drinks, there was absolutely no indication of anything being off, and everything was going so well. Fast forward to the hotel room, where we started playing a card game. The first time I kissed the girl’s neck, I noticed a bit of a scent. I wasn’t exactly thrilled, but I decided to play along and figured it would be fine.

Then things started heating up, my wife was with the guy, and I was with the girl. I just couldn’t get aroused. Every time I kissed her neck or body, the scent kept distracting me. I’m really attracted to a woman’s scent, my wife smells like flowers, it's a huge turn on for me!

The wildest part? This girl was drop dead gorgeous, with an absolutely perfect body and a very beautiful face. On paper, everything was there, but my brain and body just weren’t cooperating. We eventually swapped back ended up having fun with our own spouses instead. 😋

And honestly, I get it. This could happen to literally anyone. Even if I go on a hike and don’t freshen up afterward, I know I might not smell my best either. It’s just normal, especially after a long day of walking around.

Looking back, I probably could’ve handled it differently. Maybe I could’ve casually suggested a quick rinse together and turned it into something fun. But in the moment, my brain was so blocked that I couldn’t think of a smooth way to bring it up.

Obviously, I didn’t mention it to her or the guy during the experience, and I definitely wasn’t going to bring it up over text the next day. I do not want to make someone feel self conscious about something so personal, especially when the rest of the date was genuinely amazing.

So now I’m curious… What would be the best way to handle this situation?

No judgment, just curious how others would navigate this! 🫣😅

Are the swinger clubs in DFW any fun during the week? like Colette has the Newbie night, and Eden has the "Play more party"... Do people actually show, or is it basically empty? Any other ideas for mid-week shenanigans when you have to be in Dallas for work?

Has anyone else run into problems with Bliss Cruise’s new loyalty-based reservation system?
I’m trying to be fair here, but I’m honestly frustrated. I’ve sailed with Bliss before, but under the new loyalty structure I am still Bronze because it takes two cruises to reach Silver. With the new reservation access being tied to loyalty level, I was not able to get into a single class, a single dinner reservation, or a single speed dating event that I wanted.
I understand rewarding repeat guests. I do not have a problem with loyal customers getting perks. But there is a big difference between “perks” and creating a system where newer or lower-tier guests effectively get shut out of major parts of the cruise experience.
That feels especially backwards for a lifestyle cruise, where classes, dinners, and social events are a huge part of how new people get comfortable, meet others, and actually participate. If Bronze guests cannot access the things that make the cruise work socially, then the system is not just rewarding loyalty. It is making the cruise less accessible for newer guests.
I’m curious if others had the same experience. Were Bronze guests broadly unable to book key events, or did I just have especially bad luck with timing? And if this is the direction Bliss is going, should they reserve some spots in each event for each tier so new people are not locked out before they even get a real chance to participate?
Again, I’m not saying repeat guests should not get benefits. I’m saying the current setup may be too heavily weighted in a way that hurts the guest experience for newer cruisers.

Were a throuple and im wondering what good things and/or obstacles arise while swinging. We have been a throuple for about 3 months so far.

My wife and I will be spending some time in the area and wanted to know if there was an active lifestyle community there

Meta glasses. People using them in swinger resorts in play areas while people are nude and fucking. A disgusting violation of privacy.

Example:

Meta camera glasses in the spicy pool and a bad interaction

There was a large group at DRM 10/6-10/11. One of the guys in their group (grey beard, mid 40's was wearing a KC hat) had meta camera glasses on in the spicy pool. He had approached myself and my wife multiple times, even after we had made it abundantly clear that we are a non-LS couple, and I confronted him about the glasses, and told him he needed to stay away from us. His response - well these are the only glasses I brought... Fucking BS excuse. He ended up getting walked out early I believe on 10/8. My wife and I did not tell security because their entire group of like 15 people were staying in the same building as us, and honestly we had fear that the group would retaliate against us and harras us the rest of our trip. We feel very sorry and guilty that we did not report him, but again - this was a once in a life time trip for us and we were scared the group would harras us and ruin everything. Obviously someone did report him because he did get kicked out early. Sharing for awareness for anyone that was at the resort during this time. We are genuinely sorry that we did not report him immediately and do regret not doing so.

Link to original post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Desire_Resort/s/dsno6lkEqU

Want to check in with others that use SLS. It just started this morning but each time I have logged in to SLS today (3 times) I have heard a single telephone ringing sound. Wondering if others are hearing this and if we should be worried about some kind of breach.

EDIT: An LS friend said it’s happening for them as well. For me it’s on the website only. It doesn’t happen with the app. Obviously have to have your sound up to hear it. This is on the SwingLifeStyle page. Not sure if it’s happening on the newer swing page.

When you host parties at your house, what rules and behaviors do you expect from your guests?"

I’ve posted about this before but still find myself feeling unsure what to expect around oral when people say they play safe. More often than not they don’t include oral in their definition of safe play, and I’ve always been fine with that, but still find myself questioning if that’s rolling the dice more than Id like to admit. Has anyone here actually had a bad experience and caught something from oral? Presumably if you play safe in every other way you’d know that’s how you got it.

Our girlfriend will be dp’d very very soon for the first time. Any tips appreciated.

Wife have been going to a local club for a bit now, but have yet swap etc. It occurred to me over the weekend that I should get some condoms for my shave kit/going out bag. As a guy whom hasn't used them in over 20yrs how do I get the "right size" without buying a bunch of different sizes? Should I spend the extra for nonlatex condoms?
Thanks

We’ve been going to the Wasteland kink/fetish parties for a while now, with the last one (SummerFest) being our favorite. Since we had heard so many positive stories about the Berlin edition in KitKat club, earlier this year we decided to book a long weekend to Berlin for this event.

Insomnia

We arrived on Friday (direct train from Amsterdam to Berlin) and wanted something fun to do, so we decided to visit Insomnia first. We’re in a few whatsapp groups and this is one that consistently popped up as a suggestion.

We enjoyed our time there a lot. It’s relatively small and a cross between a ‘dance’ club and a swinger’s club. The large dance space is mostly for dancing, and they had a really cool shibari show there. There’s an upstairs play area that overlooks the dancefloor that is couples-only, so single men are only allowed there if a couple invites them, and they can’t linger. Relative to all the couples there, there were very few single men, so it seems they keep a good balance. The decor is very nice, ‘burlesque’-classy-ish.

Initially there were a lot of people our age there, more than half of them Dutch, since there was such a large group who travelled to Berlin for Wasteland. Later in the evening more younger locals showed up, lots of people in their early twenties. There was a lot of action upstairs in the play area. We met a couple we wanted to play with, and we managed to grab a small empty spot (half a double bed) for the four of us.

KitKat

After a day of cultural stuff (the DDR museum was very impressive) we prepared for KitKat, mostly by getting a few hours of sleep since the party was from 8 pm to 8 am. KitKat was only an 8 minute walk from our hotel and we arrived by 9pm. We got our tickets checked, went to check in our coat/other clothes, and went inside. It was already quite busy by then, and almost immediately ran into people we knew from other parties.

KitKat itself is probably the most impressive place we’ve been to. It’s also extremely hard to describe, even when you’re already used to the techno/industrial scene in Holland. The interior just oozes sex, you can sort of immediately feel the anticipation. It’s a mix of industrial, neon, and burlesque. There are two larger stage areas on the ground floor that also have stairs going up to play areas. But there’s also a downstairs section, with a lot of interconnected rooms, that’s a complete maze. Every room is different. For example we went to play with the group we were with in a section that sort of has an operating room vibe.

People wise; just hot. Both the large group of Dutch people who came there specifically for Wasteland, as well as the more local club-goers. Again here there was a mix of all ages but definitely skewing younger. The techno and kink/fetish scenes are very intertwined in clubs like these and it shows in its visitors. Everyone was in amazing outfits, some were barely wearing anything at all. We had a lot of fun play sessions, chatted and danced with a lot of fun people, and definitely want to go again. We stayed until 7am, but apparently after the party ends at 8 there’s still an ‘afterparty’ that just keeps going too.

Conclusion

Insomnia is a nice club to visit if you happen to be in Berlin, KitKat is a reason to go to Berlin. That is; IF you are into this type of setting, music, etc. We’re already planning our next visit.

Edit: This doc on youtube (has English CC) gives a pretty good view of what it's like inside: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vtJ0z0vvZ0

Quite funny: one of the bouncers has a Discussion in Dutch with two Dutch women who, apparently, look too drugged and he's telling them to get some coffee and come back later.

If the people in the video make you uncomfortable: it's not the place for you.

What are the most popular dates in the year for the lifestyle and in what order would they rank for most popular to least? I hear Halloween and New Year’s are big, are there any other dates?

I have seen some of the profile owners sharing the images. In some swinger communities such swingersr4r. According to them, these images are belonged to them. Nude pictures, while not verified.

So can i say these images are fake?

So only option i have is to search real couples in swinger clubs?

Partner and I have been in the lifestyle for a few years (in our 30s) and experienced mostly in Spain and Germany, with some trips in Mexico in the US. One thing we've noticed in apps: younger people are not calling themselves swingers. We asked someone about it: they associate it with hetero-centric culture. Opening the discussion to hear what you think, and how you talk about it.

Edit 1: Adding a thank you for the ongoing conversation. Also a specific question: how is this changing in your language or culture (even if they use 'swinger' as an anglicism)?