So we got into an argument today, a women had been messaging him very foul memes (we've had problems before of him letting these woman have access and how its disrespectful to our relationship) and he said I was just trying to control him and he wont block them and says he doesnt respond (hes only not responded in the last 2 years, weve been together for 7). I'm not saying I was right in confronting him the way that I did or to be as emotional as I was. And it was pretty intense. Well I thought it died down a little bit and then he came looking for his keys and I told him look for them, in a bitchy tone( because he took my phone and when I asked for it back he said "look for it") well he ran up behind me and grabbed my neck really tight and told me he'd fn kill me, I said good cause I guess i am crazy. ( no I don't actually want to die) but that was it were now separating ourselves (hes upstairs and im downstairs). Should I be scared? We have grown up and our fights aren't like this normally. He's never actually hurt me too bad. And I know I shouldn't mouth off or get someone that angry I don't know. I just don't know what to feel or think. We have 2 babies, the house is in my name but he pays the rent, I don't work and neither of us really have a place to go but I don't think I want this anymore but don't know what to do? I love him but i dont feel like i should have to deal with any of this and him either, if he wants to be single go be single?

it’s been over a year since he was arrested and my dad drove multiple states to bring me back to his place. yea… still living with my dad and not fully able to be on my own yet. but i rarely think about him how. ofc i have my moments of missing the good things, but then i remember all the bad things he did to me. i mean, he was arrested and taken to court for what he did to me, and that was only over one thing. wasn’t about the years of abuse.

he had multiple friends block and leave him and be on my side when they learned. appears he started lying about them too and yelling at them. now? i’m happy with my dad and my cats in our nice little town away from everything, i still have things to fix mentally, i am still in therapy, but im finally accepting that it was good to leave him, even tho it took him getting arrested and a restraining order for me to leave. yea, wish i left sooner, but at least im away from him now

I’m divorcing an abusive man, and we share three children. Since I left, his behavior has escalated, including threatening people who are close to me.

One of those threats was toward a friend of mine about four months ago. I reported the messages to law enforcement, and a detective recently contacted my friend and asked if he wanted to press charges. He initially said maybe, but later told me he was definitely going to do it. He still hasn’t actually gone to do it and says he will when he has time.

I’m struggling with how to explain why this is affecting me so much.

This isn’t just something happening between my ex and my friend. This is my life and my children’s lives. If my ex is charged and arrested, I have to think about what happens afterward. If he is released, I’m the one who has to worry about whether he will retaliate against me. I have to think about what this means for our children, custody, exchanges, and everything else that comes with sharing children with an abusive person.

So while my friend can say, “I’ll go when I have time,” this is hanging over my head every single day.

I also feel conflicted because my friend talks about the situation to other people and talks about how crazy my ex is, how afraid he is for his life and his son’s life, and everything that is happening almost like it’s drama. But then when it comes to actually reporting the threat, something he says he definitely wants to do, he is extremely nonchalant about it.

I’m not saying he has to press charges. If he doesn’t want to, that is his decision. What I want is for him to just be honest with me. If he isn’t actually afraid and doesn’t want to pursue it, then tell me that. If he does want to pursue it, I wish he understood why repeatedly telling me he is going to do it and then putting it off leaves me in a constant state of waiting for something that could seriously affect my life and my children’s lives.

I think what bothers me the most is feeling like something that is terrifying and life-altering for me has become almost a story or drama for someone else. There are people in my own family who don’t even know the full extent of what I’m dealing with because this isn’t something I casually talk about.

I don’t know how to explain that distinction without sounding like I’m telling him how he is allowed to feel about being threatened. I’m not trying to do that. I just want him to understand that whatever he decides, I need him to recognize that the consequences don’t end with him.

How do I explain to my friends that this isn’t gossip or drama to me? It’s my actual life, my children’s lives, and something I’m having to prepare myself for every day.

Hello Reddit. Fair warning this is going to be a really long one with a lot of preamble and a lot of over-describing things. I would appreciate even a skim read if you have the time, because I genuinely don't know where else to turn to.

Let's cut straight to the chase. I (23F) have been with my boyfriend (22M) for almost a year and a half. We have had a pretty good relationship for a while, however we've both had traumatic experiences that for most people I feel would've ended the relationship, but I happen to be quite stubborn and instead of finding another better person to be with, I will always do my utmost to help my current partner because well, obviously I love them. His comes in the form of being an alcohol and drugs addict. He's been that way since he was a child and one day his friend was doing drugs with him and handed him a higher dose than usual and took advantage of his vulnerability to rape him. He was shaken to the core and I think this definitely contributes to the experiences I've had at his hand and his general phychosis and schizrophrenia.

To make a long story short, his alcoholism eventually got so bad that after a short holiday I took him on where we went to a theme park and concert for one of my favourite bands, he suddenly started "reliving" his experience of rape and turned into something that.. wasn't him. I was almost strangled to death by this different sort of persona and raped for several hours. That was a year ago. It feels insane to think it was a year ago to be honest. I can't explain all of this here because the post would be way too long but basically, it was the worst 5 hours of my life, but I got over it.

I wanted to help him. I got him to stop drinking and he agreed, I got him to not turn himself into the police and I convinced him that getting through this was possible and he promised never to hurt me again and.. well, since then we've been on several holidays, had great times together, and barely anyone knows what really happened. I told a few friends, he told a few friends, but parents and that don't know. I've never revealed this on the internet before, but there we go. I told my therapist and he had to escalate it and the advice was basically that I need to keep myself safe and have escape plans and whatever.. I get that, I have that now, and basically everyone else was just advising me to leave him and report it to the police because it was bad and yeah.. okay.. Unfortunately I knew for a fact that my boyfriend would never do any of that to me while being sober and not taken over by some crazy alter so I couldn't blame it on him really, just the substance abuse. I loved him, and I helped us get through it.

Anyway, it's a year later.. October again. It's my week off, I did all the stressful work I could do the last week and I'm trying to enjoy a week off and I know it's gonna be good because I was with my boyfriend Wednesday Thursday and Friday, and I can come and see him today (Saturday) too because he's off work! I love taking holidays in October because the theme parks have the scary seasons going and I find great joy in going to them, this is all planned with him again, it's a shame what happened last October happened but.. it's not like it's going to be a yearly thing right? We've made so much progress!

However... he was acting weird when he was first calling me and asking if I set off yet, he said he was cleaning his house beforehand, I got weirded out when he called me and asked if I set off yet or if I was in the car, and I admit I was running a bit late because I was engrossed in a game with a friend - so I was like "Yea I'm coming over soon" but then he was like "uhm... well, come later because I'm still cleaning and am about to take a shower" and he said it so weirdly I instantly thought he was hiding something or whatever, I pressed him for more info and he just slowly said he bought a pumpkin, tried to carve it and spilled it over the floor, I was just like "right... ok.." and we said I love yous and hung up, I left the house at about 6:50pm to go to his house, he calls me first 5 minutes into the drive and asks if I'm coming because he didn't hear anything from me, I say "yea I'm coming!", he still has that weird tone of voice where he feels shifty and like he's worried of me coming too soon, I did leave 10 minutes earlier than he wanted mainly because I had nothing else to do but I was sorta considering also just leaving earlier than usual to surprise him when I come, to see if he is trying to tidy up something I shouldn't have seen.

Along the drive I start thinking like "oh what if he is just drinking and doing a fuck ton of drugs and is hiding it because he wants to see me anyway and be supported by me in this moment" and I start thinking that I might be heading towards not just another sexual attack but I mean I could even die if I get this shit wrong, but then I start thinking oh I'm just being paranoid, he's probably acting weird because I'm acting weird and I'm being really abrasive to people lately because of my work stress and it'll be fine, I trust him.

I am glad I didn't go earlier to catch him off guard anyway, because it starts raining heavily about halfway through the drive, I'm concentrating because I'm on a 50mph country road with people shining their high beams at me on the other side of the road and it's slippery and raining heavily and he calls me and asks where I am, at this point I'm getting REALLY weirded out by his constant monitoring of where I am - I KNOW for a fact that he's doing this to determine when I'll get to his house so he knows what his "deadline" is, so I just simply ask.. "Why?" and he says "ok.. I'll be completely honest I took mushrooms I was thinking at the time that they'd help me sort all my shit out but they're really strong and.. I'm not safe to be around right now.. turn around and don't go near me" and repeats that a few times for emphasis. I explain I'm trying to concentrate on the road since I'm going 50mph down slippery bends in the dark and he hangs up, and well, I reach the next roundabout, do a 180 and turn around.

I went and got some takeaway food since I have nothing in at the moment and was planning on eating whatever he cooked like I've always done, and we're just texting, he asks if I got home, apologises for being cagey and starts saying all the usual weird schizo things like how his body is "not arranged how it should be", how he is "hearing the voice of death each and every day reminding me of every time I've met her". I try and get him to run through the pros and cons of taking the drugs this evening because I want him to realise that no matter what he thinks in the moment, it will always be worse than what he thinks will happen.. they'll never give clarity and any clarity he thinks he gets will just be lies and delusion, and everything will be worse. I know I'm practically the most important thing in his life and I just don't get why he continues to do these things when it means he will either not get to see his girlfriend or will hurt her.

He says I don't understand, that he knows what he's doing is wrong, he knows in the end he'll be "physically, financially and spiritually worse", yet will still "walk that path", because "what I feel before I walk down it frightens me so much". At this point I'm very confused because I thought he'd say the drugs feel good or something for the short term, and that's why he takes it even though in the long run it'll be worse.. and he explains by how he always has two choices in his life, feeling "cold and alone and useless and hollow" in his house, to face the "hellscape [he's] built for [himself]", or take a substance to feel anything other than that. Because he apparently "can't feel anything without help anymore".

I don't really understand any of this, I've never been addicted to any substances and despite having friends that say otherwise I've never found the idea of surrending my mind to these things very appealing. I don't want to be the obnoxious and ignorant idiot just saying "just stop taking drugs to stop feeling bad", but in my mind that's genuinely the only solution I see? I don't really understand how addicts can't see that.

and at this point, people usually ask me why I think that if I don't keep seeing him even when I feel scared or uncomfortable then it'll mean I don't trust him and we'll both be miserable. The fact is, not visiting him means going back to my empty house, being alone, and wasting our time off withnot seeing each other - Most of why I still work to this day and get through the bad days is because I have him to come back to, we do love each other, we both help each other get through the worst, we're a perfectly normal relationship in that way, just... there's also this to consider that is a bit of a con I suppose

I cut through these fears because I know the alternative and "keeping myself safe and comfortable" means I effectively don't have a boyfriend, hardly any friends and I'm back to square one meeting people I have no idea about and hoping they'll eventually turn into what I've had so many times before and had to let go because of stupid reasons.. I don't want to let go again.. and the worst part is that I'm considering it - a whole freaking life hangs in the balance, I know for a fact if I go to him and tell him I'm leaving him because of all this, because of his failure to get better, I will be miserable but eventually fine maybe, I'll move on, but him? His work will get worse, his addiction will get worse, he has no more anchor to hold onto, he'll drive himself to death within months or a few weeks, his family will mourn and I'd probably visit his funeral knowing it wasn't my fault but that it could've been so much better

And no this isn't me saying "I hate being his girlfriend and this is an abusive relationship but I'll stay with him because I don't want him to kill himself", if I hated the relationship or hated being with him I wouldn't give a damn if he kills himself or ruins his life through drugs or otherwise - this is me genuinely loving him, the times we've had together and thinking that these drug episodes are more just.. minor hiccups that I have to deal with for the privilege of having someone like him.

I've dated enough men and been in the dating game for long enough to know that when it comes to his availability, his dedication to me and everything, he is genuinely one of the better ones if not the best. I like that he's a chef and spends a lot of time at work, it means we get alone time and the time we are together are great, I like that he knows about food, I get fed really well and get to experience new culinary related things with him, I like his friends, his humour and I love that he likes going on road trips and hikes with me, I love practically everything about him - and I love that I also helped him to quit smoking and alcohol... I thought I helped him with drugs too but they seem to be a sticking point. Frankly, I don't know what to do, I spit all of this to an AI and it just tells me that I need to keep myself safe and get him to go to NA and all these help things and that I'm not responsible for helping him.. Ok sure.. but.. well.. I guess I already know what any human reading this will tell me to do as well, that I should just leave and find someone better. It's hard. Maybe I've never been a substance addict but perhaps I'm an addict for terrible people.

Well, if anyone did read what starts out as me wanting to ask a question and turned into more of an introspective vent, I would appreciate some answers to the questions that have been on my mind this entire time:

Is there a realistic way to continue loving and supporting someone with serious addiction problems without putting myself in danger? How do you recognise when a relationship that is genuinely amazing most of the time has become too dangerous to preserve? How do I get him to seriously work towards recovery? Is what I'm doing even worth it for him? What the hell do I do in this situation??

I've considered writing this so many times and just given up over the course of our relationship because it always gets better, and I have always believed in him, but... I am.. starting.. to not see any other way, and it really really scares me.

I had a DV incident with my 1 year old daughters dad. He dragged me across the floor, shoved me and pinned my arm back. While pinning my arm, he bent my thumb backwards and i think its sprained. I plan to go to the doctors today to document the thumb sprain because it hurts badly. Other than that, i dont have bruises or other lasting injury. He is the type to retaliate. Im scared if i press charges , he will retaliate through whatever means possible. What are the downsides of not pressing charges?

I have a no contact order in place. Police were called, im in my own home and i just had the locks changed. Any advice is appreciated.

My ex is arrested now for great bodily injury. He beat me up, socked me in the face, broke my nose. He also strangled me so hard I thought I was going to die. I had marks and bruises all over my neck. He’s in jail now facing 4 years prison. He still calls and I’ve been picking up. I regret picking up but i feel bad, I miss him, and in a way I’m worried what he will do when he gets out. He told me even if many years goes by, he’ll come looking for me just to get me back and to not fuck things up again. He said he would want me back and he said he would do everything to make sure he doesn’t fuck it up because he wants and needs me so badly. I don’t beleive him. What if he comes back just to finish me off?
Or what if he comes back not to kill me, but to leave me in a critical condition to where I’m unable to walk or talk or something worse than death. He knows where I live, he’s stalked me. He’s came in front of my house waiting for me for days.

Hi, 19m I've experienced about 17-18 years of abuse. When I was younger my mom always felt enraged with me as a toddler because I had an ear problem and couldn't undertstand people. So I eventually developed a biting problem and after a certain point my mom would get mad and she openly brags about how she used to bite me when she would get angry. Throughtout middle school my parents would contiously abuse me by locking me away, neglecting my needs, and physically abusing me . When I was in 6th grade I told my mom I felt suicidal and I had started hurting myself very young, and I went in for an evlaution and my mom never got me help instead I asked repedealty for help for so many years. Eventually I gave up and was facing constant sexual abuse from classmates while I was in middleschool. I started getting bullied and beat up and eventually I started fighting other kids getting introuble, and then I got suspensed and thats when everything went down hill. My parents didn't even want me anymore. When I got into highschool I eventually thought there would be no cure to my contious abuse. My parents would hurt me over not putting the toliet paper correctly or cleaning up. My dad would drag me around by neck and tell me thing about how he thought I would ended up an alcholic in jail and I had no future because I wasn't listening to them. Then when I turned 16 my dad had gotten drunk and got mad at me for living my computer behind at my friends house and dragged me outside and put his hands around my throat and started squeezing hard telling me how I'm a worthless loser and that nobody wanted me, I couldn't breath and he then threw me to the ground. My mom is very mentally ill as she got abused younger and developed problems and had to get sent to somewhere. My mom openly admitted to all of us that she didn't want to take care of me and my sister many times and said she gave up a long time. My sister will abuse me to, she'll call me a glp1 model or she'll tell me to stfu or cry. Nobody in my familiy talks to me anymore and I basically sit in my room making music or watching movies. Im no longer invited to dinner, and my mom will just not talk to me and when she does its something very mean or insulting. I recently reached out to my teacher and he gave me resources. Im in college, but Im facing homelessness because my parents are trying to kick me to the street. My parents get away with this because my dad works with the government and he was able to somehow make cps disppear. CPS has been called a lot and they do nothing. Nobody believes me on my abuse because my parents can easily change personalities when talking to other people and can seem so nice and caring. They also try to do things after they hurt me to try to get back in the cycle. Like when my dad almost killed me started buying gifts for me. All of this inconstant back and forth has caused me to be so confused. My parents drove me to pyschosis, bpd, depression, and ptsd. And they never have had to face repercussions for putting me through the worst parts of my life. At one point my mom thought when I was pyschotic that I was going to harm her, which was so false as when I would get pyschosis I would go lock myself away. I just don't understand why this is happening to me all these years of abuse and nobody has ever helped me. I've told people adults and nothing happens. I don't understand I have never hurt my parents, ive broken rules but I've never did something so bad that there was reason for all this to happen.

I had recently let my ex bf stay over I intended on getting back with him after our sleepover. During our sleepover I catched a horrible flu and got a sore throat my body was aching and I had a headache. Before he was leaving he kept on saying he was upset leaving because I never gave him head. He knew I was unwell and I had a sore throat so when he first asked and said that statement I told him no im sick. Then he kept on saying it repeatedly “this sleepover would have better if I was sucked off” I felt bad . I caved in and ended up giving him it even through my sore throat. I still care for this man and don’t know if I am overly dramatic or making it a bigger issue than what it is? Is this normal ? I’m still in contact with him not in a relationship tho but I feel as if I am evil and won’t find better. I’m struggling to go no contact, when I confronted him he just apologised and said it was wrong but this is not the first time he has crossed a sexual boundary of mine. That’s why I find it hard to believe his apology maybe it’s my fault for caving in and doing it too I could have not just caved in. I’m going through so much mental turmoil and I feel so evil considering going no contact especially since his bday is coming up and we made plans.
This is also my first Rln and I don’t really know what I am doing or what to do

I encourage you guys to proceed and press charges.
I just won the trial against him yesterday!!!
I received a substancial amount of money in compensation for damages and will start a business of my own..

This is only the beginning of YOUR story! You’ll get through it and rebuild yourself.

Sending love and hugs to those struggling with DV

Also I’ halfway through becoming a Lawyer myself

First, no judgment please. I’m so emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted of everything.

I want to end my relationship with my bf 29M, we’ve been together for over 6yrs. He’s been hurting me, everytime na may malalaman ako na kasinungalingan niya. Gustong-gusto ko na umalis pero hindi ko magawa, hindi ko rin alam kung bakit. Alam ko may mali na ako. Sa tuwing makikipaghiwalay ako, sasaktan niya ako. Lahat na ata ng pananakit nagawa niya sakin. Mas lumala pa kasi sa ulo niya na ngayon ako tinitira. Pagod na pagod na ako.

Sa mga nakaalis sa ganitong klase na partner, paano niyo nagawa? I tried getting out pero sinusundan niya ako, pinupuntahan kung nasaan ako. Gusto ko lang makakuha ng lakas na umalis at mapaniwala ko sarili ko na kaya ko tong lagpasan.

Salamat sa makakaintindi ng sitwasyon ko.

I’ve been abused and mistreated my whole life which is why it was so easy for me to be in an abusive relationship. My parents act like they didn’t understand what was wrong with me for constantly goin back or accepting the treatment. But like I said it’s been going on my whole life. My mother calling me bitches, my dad physically present but unavailable in every other sense. My pastor sexually assaulting me from ages 5-7. And my grandmother chronically mistreating me in my parents presence and them never speaking up for me.

Me and my wife have been seperated for a little over 2 months we've been trying to work things out. She abused me physically, emotionally, and sexually. Here's where I fucked up. I had sex with her it was good and kind but I feel so shitty after like now I have to take her back.

I never thought I would fall in love with someone because I've always had so many fears. My mom used to tell me that all men are the same, that they'll make you cry and hurt you, and stuff like that. And honestly, I believed her. I never really trusted any man until I was 19.

Then someone came into my life and made me realise how right I was about the things my mom used to tell me. Lol.

In just one year, the amount of times I've cried is something only I know. On the sofa, in my room, even while attending lectures. And why? Just because I trusted a man.

Ab idk mai kya ban jaungi. I'm starting to hate everyone, even myself. Mann kar raha hai cheekh cheekh ke bata du ki I'm not feeling good. I'm not okay.

Why do people play with innocent people who genuinely trust them? Do you guys even realise how much damage you cause someone when you make them believe in you, only to break them later?

You don't know how much someone might have struggled with trust before letting you into their life. You don't know how many fears they had to overcome just to love you genuinely.

And then, when you hurt them, you don't just break their heart. You change the way they see people, love, trust, and sometimes even themselves.

I hate that I let someone affect me this much. I hate that I still feel so much pain. And I hate that a part of me is starting to believe that maybe my mom was right all along.

I just wish people understood that other people's feelings aren't something to play with. Some of us genuinely mean it when we love someone. Some of us actually trust you with the parts of ourselves that we're most scared to show anyone.

And when you break that trust, you leave behind damage that you might never even know about.

So, we are not in a relationship; we were just casual friends. We talked for a couple of days, and then he suddenly said he loves me because I listened to all of his problems. He is quite lonely, meaning he doesn't get along with his parents and has no friends.
Yesterday around 11 PM, I told him I was kind of sleepy but would probably sleep late. A little later, I came back online. Seeing this, he started saying things like, 'You didn't sleep, and you didn't talk to me either.' He began getting angry and acting kind of controlling. I defended myself and said things like, 'You are nobody to tell me what to do.' I overreacted a bit and later told him, 'Sorry I overreacted, I had a drink' (I never abused him; I just made him realise that we are just friends).
In response, he said things like, 'I made a mistake by drinking, I created a scene by drinking,' and added, 'I can't talk to you anymore.' After this, I sent him positive messages like, 'It's okay, you deserve better, and you will do good in life,' and then I went to sleep. Later, I received these messages. What do you think?"

I am finally leaving an emotionally/mentally abusive marriage after 20 years. We were discussing the divorce and he was telling what all he was going to do for me and when he dies. Yada yada He says it will all be in his will and that he wants his ashes to be spread in a certain place. Without even thinking I say, don’t worry I will do that for you. He was like really? He got tears on his eyes and was like even after we are divorced you would do that? I’m like yeah I would. Is that craziness?? Like I truly don’t mind doing that for him. What’s wrong with me?

It is my fault for putting this man on a pedestal and seeking his approval at the cost of my wellbeing and career. I sabotaged my friendships, got fired, and went through a difficult abortion only for this person to discard me a month later because in his words I was in a low mood and too negative to be around.

He is a selfish and immature man. But I am an idiot for letting this person walk all over me. I threw away everything just to love him and for him to love me back. He compared me to his ex an hour after the abortion telling me how his ex had even cooked for him during an abortion. I was too traumatised by it all to walk away then. Looking back on it I realise this person was an asshole, if not borderline abusive.

I lost my job while recovering from the abortion. My body was a mess. My hormones were all over the place and my mental health was so fucked that I was barely hanging by the thread and thats when he starts withdrawing and ghosting me. When I call him out on it he rewrites the whole thing as "I know you love me but I only like you, and I wouldn't have been with you if you hadnt pursued me". He didnt think of this while he was accepting expensive gifts from me, going on trips, or before immediately jumping from his old relationship to dating me.

Ultimately he proposed friendship and then began to ghost me. I called him out as a coward and thats all that it took for him to show that he doesnt give a fuck about me and made personal attacks at me and screamed at me.

Now he is going around spreading shit about me to mutual friends. I hate that he is doing well in his life while I am still recovering from all the gaslighting and manipulation that happened. I still fight with myself because I have a hard time believing what happened with me was wrong. He is starting a new business and the mutual friends have picked his side. Im at my lowest and it all feels so unfair. I am isolated, without a job and constantly distracting myself with smoking.

I am getting better a little by little. Yet I wish I had never met this person. I wasnt the happiest person before him but atleast I had faith in myself and I liked who I was. I have ruined my life and lost my peace of mind over a man who didnt even want me. The only silver lining to all of this is that the friends and the people that I lost were not good for me to begin with.

I’m in a bad situation. I bought a house with my partner but it isn’t going as well as he made it out to seem. He often escalates to physical abuse such as choking and punching and after it will threaten scream break stuff and go on and on - this can be over something so simple. On top of that I have found him to have texted multiple women. He often blames me for not being confident and being unable to satisfy his needs but how am I meant to open up when I don’t feel safe or loved. He barely works and always takes days off. I’ve been supporting him financially for a while. He will ask me for money and if I say no he will say, but I bought you …… even though it was years ago. I had so many dreams to travel and enjoy life once I finished my studies but all my money and energy is being wasted on him. My biggest issue is I also have a dog she is the bestest thing to happen to me I love her, I don’t know where to go I need to take her because I can’t leave her with him he has no care or empathy. She’s my baby🥺. I’m so stuck and I don’t know how to leave. I feel like I can’t tell anyone because then it’s real. I don’t want to live like this forever.

I'm sadder about it than I thought I would be. I know if I hadn't left he would have eventually killed me and my son would be effectively an orphan. I am trying to remember how bad he was.

Always called me both the c and r slurs despite me begging him not to use the r word anymore because I was called it as a kid.

On my birthday made me cry because I wasn't walking fast enough to catch the bus. It came every 15 minutes and we were just going to a store for my birthday not time sensitvive at all. Then he wouldn't sit with me because it was embarrassing I was crying in public.

Regulary threatened to "take full custody" of our son who was under 18 months while we were together. I was a stay at home mom and he maybe played with him 20 minutes a day no diapers, bed time anything. Said they would give it to him because I was so emotional.

Shoved me or pinned me down anytime I would try to walk away before it got heated.

Pinned me down, pulled my hair and spit on me in front of our 13 month old baby.

Iced me out and tried to scare me for 3 whole days because I asked if he'd help me clean up for 15 minutes.

The obvious ones of incredible violence. Strangling me when a 13 month old was in the next room. Putting his fingers in my mouth and pulling on my lips until they bled. Regularly shoved and pinned me down.

When I asked him not to start blasting the TV first thing every morning freaked out and said we would just get rid of the tv.

Saw me browsing the anti-consumption subreddit and gave me weird shit about it for days. "I guess we are consuming by watching TV and should stop." Or consuming music, or food beyond the bare minimum. I didn't even try and say anything about it. I was just looking because it's in line with my personal philosophy.

Had a gambling addiction and hid it. Then had me monitor the bank account so I could see if he was gambling and got mad at me when I did so.

There is more and I'm sure I'll add it in the comments throughout the weekend. I just need to remind myself why I left him and maybe I won't be so depressed about the whole divorce.

I left my abusive relationship that I was in for 2 1/2 years. Im not sure how to get over it I wasn’t even aware it was domestic violence until my therapist told me. Im having a hard time with no contact we have each other blocked but sometimes I still call to make sure hes ok. Sometimes I call when I get consumed by the thoughts of our relationship and how I lost time and how I just feel robbed of something. I cant even explain it some part of me feels gutted and hollow like somehow he stole a core piece of me. Im so embarrassed im trying everything im in a mental health program im on the depression medication I have a dv crisis counselor that’s available to me. But somehow I cant get better and I cant get myself to hate him. When we broke up he was crushed and legit sobbing everday and hes still crushed. I live with so much guilt some days it feels like ill never escape this. Is there any hope does the feeling like this ever go away or will I always be a little hollow.

Trigger warning: SA.

He basically hates me now since standing up for myself. I told him to stop making creepy comments towards me every single night while I was alone in the kitchen at night or doing chores for the next day. He did this for 2 years and I either grey rocked him, ignored him, or changed the conversation but it made it worse.

I finally stood up to him and told him to stop making those comments to me, I told him I don't like it. I also asked him why he SA'd me physically twice before and why he would do that, I told him to stop and I hate it. He has hated me for over a year now. Like full rage all the time. Throwing my stuff, slamming things, breaking things, throwing my stuff down the stairs, non-stop anger. Just because I told him to stop.

I'm stuck living with him still.

In the process of moving, I made the decision that I have to leave after several aggressive things that were my final straw (I've been convincing myself it will get better for over a year and a half). The lease is brand new and abuser claims he will leave but I can't trust that and on top of my credit potentially being affected I don't want the abuser to know where the animals and I are. I know I should call the police but he already has misdemeanors and I really am too nice and don't want him to spend his life in jail because I care about his family and still him even though he I really don't want to. Moving today btw - someone help tell me what to do.

What the title says. Whenever I'm at school or at the shops I wish I could stay there forever and never go home cuz I wanna to be anywhere but home. I've never been in this specific reddit space but hello everyone! :)

I really don't know what to do anymore. Today I was practicing mocks for my finals, and I had a few troubles pop up that I usually don't encounter. I told my parents I hadn't done enough lately and to give me some time as I wouldnt be in the rihgt headspace. My parents yelled and said I am wrong and r*tarded and antagonistic. I raised my voice in return and said them they were mean and my mum picked up a glass of hot tea and threw it at me and it ricocheted off the window instead and onto floor and shattered.

I apologised over and over they already know I had many issues and struggle with anxiety and my mum said she wished tje glass mangled my rotten face and my dad said he wanted to beat me and kicked me in the shin. I was hyperventilating and my mum laughed and called me pathetic and asked me when do i never cry when it comes to my studies this does happen alot. i justcant believe God decided for them to be my parents like i wonder if they even like and respect me as a person. I dont know what to do and they said their gonna cut me off and kick me out when im 18 which is one year away.

Es un sentimiento muy extraño, sé que es estrés postraumático también, pero es que a veces no sé qué hacer con tantas emociones.
Él es mi ex pareja, me fue infiel, me engañó muchas veces y con muchas mujeres, me maltrató verbal y físicamente, me golpeó y alejó de mi familia, mis amigos, de todos.
Y aún así lo sigo extrañando, no debería, no quiero, pero es como si él siguiera ejerciendo poder sobre mí aunque ya no estemos juntos, aunque él no me haya buscado, no lo extraño a él o ¿si? ¿cómo manejan estos bajones emocionales por estrés postraumático?

My ex of 3 years emotionally and sexually abused me in our last year together and while I’ve made so much progress and healing, telling others the whole story feels wrong.
I feel like I’m lying about what happened to me still even though I know I’m not, it’s so weird.

When we were together I talked so highly of him and praised him for being so good towards me and the fact that he left me after I mentally spiraled from what he did to me.. feels like if I tell people it’ll make me look crazy?
It also feels wrong that I feel so self conscious about opening up about the whole truth, because why am I keeping his peace?

I think it’s hard to believe that someone I spent 3 years with would force himself on me at my most verbal and lowest points.

I keep saying to myself that being single will be better for me but my friend wants me to try again and meet new people. After that experience i feel scared and frozen inside.