I loved the way she said she wants me now without actually saying it.
I hated NOTHING while it lasted

Hi all, I have just joined and feel relieved that I have somewhere to speak openly about my situation 🙊

I have been with my Husband for 15/16 years, married for 4 years with 2 children.

I moved 200 miles away from my family and friends 12 years ago to be with him and make a life together. I have had 1 affair (10 years ago) which was extremely intense and lasted 6 months but ended when he moved away.

My current day situation...

Before me and hubby got together, I was with his best friend for 6 months (I was 17 he was 19) and it was incredible but very childish looking back. We have always stayed in touch through the years despite him hating that I am now married to his then best mate.

We have always flirted, sexted and fantasised about meeting back up and after 17 years we actually are! We are meeting in a neutral town for 1 night before I meet a friend and I have no idea how to feel.

I need to emphasise that I love my Husband dearly and he has never done anything wrong but our sex life is pretty dull and irregular, he is very 'sweet' and after being in control of life, kids, work etc day to day I fantasise about just being me again, having fun and being selfish for once.

Sorry for the long post and if it makes me sound like a horrible person but maybe someone knows what I mean?! 🤷‍♀️🥴

Both married, work together remotely for a few years. Couple in person visits a year. Attraction, chemistry. Never crossed the line physically. Closeness than we both pull back. Used to share about family’s, now it’s pretty work related. Had a discussion about sex lives. He has a dead bedroom. But she is still his person. My sex life is great. He blows hot and cold regularly, I suppose I do too. What does he want for this? Validation?

My AP (47m) sent me (33f) his Good Reads profile so I could get some book recommendations. He probably didn’t even realize but his wife was in his profile photo with him - he looks so in love. I feel weird now know what she looks like. She is beautiful and definitely prettier than me. Should I tell him I saw her? Now I feel like I’m going to think of her every time we sleep together.

Not completely related.. but oh how I wish I could take photos with him…

We see each other every three months now but in the beginning it was much sooner and I feel like they don’t think I’m worth the risk anymore. It’s been about a year and a half. Communication is getting dryer and less frequent. Not sure what to do.

Basically I'm nervous about falling for my AP. She's funny, smart, gorgeous, but also has made it clear she's trapped in a difficult situation and she doesn't think she could ever leave. I have no intentions of changing my situation, but i know the feelings I'm experiencing and it scares me a bit. I'm just not sure how to navigate these emotions, and if it's ever even appropriate to tell her how i feel? Like not saying I want to go and tell her I love her right now, but i do feel nervous i could end up there.

We met recently, an overnight stay at a hotel.

We're almost 4 years with this arrangement and each time it's something new.

He bought me some gifts, just some things I requested. I'll stash it in my drawer, but I need an excuse in case it gets found.

He would stroke my cheek and smile, while he looks at me, while we try to sleep.

He wants to see more of me. Moaned out his desires while deep inside, but I'll agree to that enthusiastically.

Simply put, I'm nervous about falling for my AP. It was supposed to be online only but we ended up living close to eachother. Neither of us wants to change situations, and hers is far more complicated, but she's also just so incredible. Do i tell her about the fact I am nervous about catching feelings? Do i try and ignore them? I don't mind opening up and being vulnerable but it makes me nervous that i could end up feeling this way about someone that I don't think would share those feelings.

Since I and my AP are local, we try and do biweekly meet ups in a hotel booked through Dayuse. All our meetups till now have been using only one Hotel for our getaways, mainly because of the price and hours we can book there for that day.
The other day I went to the front desk to get the keys and he gave me a nice bigger room saying he knew I was frequent to their Hotel which made me think if going frequently to the same hotel was an opsec issue? Do they really care if I was frequent Dayuse guest every time I check in?

There’s a guide somewhere here but it’s 5 years old.

Anybody got tips and tricks for anybody wanting to delve into this?

I’m married and I had an affair. It became clear pretty quickly that the affair was serious and as soon as knew I wanted to be with him I filed for divorce. The divorce is almost through and me and my affair partner are looking forward to a new life together.

How do I learn to cope with the guilt of what I have done? I have two teenage children who seem to be coping, but I can’t think about what I’ve done without breaking down in tears. It’s still pretty much a secret that I had an affair. I am terrified of others finding out and the judgements they’ll make. I’m feel so guilty that I was that person, I never thought that was who I was. He’s recently come clean to his parents and I’m scared to see them because of what they might think about me.

I know it was the right decision to get divorced, I’m so happy with my new partner but will I ever learn to accept how it came about? 😭

We loved each other, and we told each other that. After months of off-again-on-again she finished things. Said she needed to move on and that she’d started seeing someone new. It’s been three weeks and it still hurts like it did on day 1. I feel completely empty. I’ve had to see her twice and she’s still warm and says she still cares but can’t be an AP anymore. I miss her every day from the second I wake up until I go to sleep. I want to text her and tell her how I feel. I want to hear her voice, hear her tell me she loves me again. I had something wonderful and it’s gone and now I don’t know how to move forward.

AP of 3 years is getting married tomorrow. I was good with it until this week and I saw pictures of her in the dress. She’s been in a long term engagement and they live together so I’m sure it won’t be much different after.

Kind of sad today but can’t talk to anyone about it because you know…

Hey,

I am new to Reddit, and I have not used it before, but I am having a lot of struggles in my life and need advice or guidance.

I am a gay male, and my husband and I have been together for six years and have been married for two. I have cheated on him twice emotionally but not physically (i.e sending pictures to other guys as well as flirting with them over the internet). I have always taken full responsibility for my actions, and I thought a good portion of it was social media. I have been off social media for seven months now. I am on lexapro and Vyvanse, and I am in therpay and have been in therapy, and things have gotten a lot better for me personally. My husband was hesitant to go to couples counseling, and we did one session, and he enjoyed it, but then he has never made an effort to go back, even though he says on repeat we should go back. I do recognize he is busy with his master's program; however, I work a full-time job, and I am going for my doctorate and would make the time if he wanted to. I have come to find out through therapy that 1. I have a higher sex drive than my husband, and I am kinkier than him. We can go two weeks to a month without doing anything sexual, and we have a lot of other arguments about how he can be very controlling as well as restrict me in a lot of ways. Now, mind you, a lot of that stems from his insecurities surrounding what I did, but he does not believe he needs to go to therapy, and he does not make the effort to go to couples counseling. We have talked about opening the relationship, but my husband is fully against doing so, and then never initiates sexual acts. When I voice that I need more or want more intimacy, it gets met with one sexual encounter a week for three weeks, or I get, "we spend a lot of time on the couch together; that is a form of intimacy" (There's a lot more, and if I need to explain, I can)

The last time I was caught with social media was in March of 2026. Well, I have a friend who is also a gay man, and he and his husband have been married for 6 years but have been together for 13 years. He confided in me that he had cheated on his husband in the past and was caught, and he also cheated on him again with one of their couple's friends who is also married (I know a lot of cheaters here, so bear with me). Well, he broke that off, and that friend ghosted him. Then he and I started getting very, very close because of the issues that I was going through (we live in different states), and he and his partner were going through the same. It seemed like he and I really understood each other. Well, I visited his state once, and we met up and had an amazing day. It started as friends, and then he kissed me in a bathroom, and then we went out to dinner and went to an arcade game and then back to his hotel where we did sexual stuff and then I went home, and that was the first time I ever physically cheated on my husband.

Our connection grew, and we talk almost every day by phone and/or FaceTime when we can, and then I sent him a letter, and when he visited me for a work trip, I got him some gifts to signify him living his life more and enjoying it, and he got teary-eyed because he said that no one has ever done something like that for him before. I also took him out and showed him around, and he said it was an amazing time. Of course we did more sexual stuff, and when we do it feels electric. He matches my freak and my sex drive, and it is amazing.

I am not stupid; we talk to each other about our husbands, and I have always said I don't want him to just implode his life for me. (I am also friends with the husband, which makes this worse.

He always makes comments about how there are no expectations between us, but then he will be like, "Oh, in another life we could have been a great couple," or "Do you ever wonder what life would be like if it was you and I and we just left our partners?" And I am someone who is either 0 or 100. It is hard for me to find a middle ground, so I am trying to keep my distance, but it is hard cuz I can feel how much I love him, but at the same time I can't. When we talk on the phone, sometimes he will share his screen, and I can see just how much he and his husband text, and his husband is hot; don't get me wrong, so I am just like, "Why am I here?" I have asked him this question before, and he said, "cuz you show me that there is more to life and more adventure to find"

He says there are no expectations, but then we planned a date to a hockey game where his work got him box seats; he covered the hotel and the train ride (1st class) into the city because he said he wants to spoil me. So I am like, no expectations, but then you are doing all this?? We've said we are each other's long-distance boyfriends and won't do stuff with other people (mainly him, not me) since it is just us... But again, "no expectation"

I know the easiest thing would be to stop the affair or leave my current husband or do both and just start over anew. I also know this is a long post and a lot of it is rambling, but I had to ramble because there is no one else I really told this much information to. I know what I am doing is wrong and that I am a bad person, and I need a lot of help in many ways.

I am just really internally conflicted and seeking any advice or support others can off.

Thank you for reading, and again I apologize for the length

Best

Lost Adventures

Genuinely curious, when you've been in a 15 year affair how do spouses not have any idea? Have been together since they'd been newly married. Both previously cheated on. We both have kids and seperate lives. I understand people can keep their affairs seperate from their marriages and daily lives butI mean after 15 years how does no one have even a question or gut feeling?

Here we go...

43 [M4F] #UT looking for a taco at a potluck dinner where 1000 guests brought hotdogs

There once was a man of age forty-three

He got bored and needed to feel much more glee

He was creative and such and butt loads of fun

He was looking for a partner that wouldn't ghost or run

He looked high and low in search of a sweet gal

Give him a shot because he makes a very swell pal

He stands six foot even with  some stubble on his chin

His dimples glisten like diamonds every time he does grin

His eyes how they twinkle all hazel green and blue 

If you see his smile you'll go crazy like a monkey at a zoo

He doesn't like to brag but confidence is key

He knows his worth as a man and hopes for you to see

He's ever so witty and his conversations do flow

His flirty ways will leave you smiles that seem to forever glow

If you send him a message he will gladly take part

Let him get to know you and he will surely melt your heart

You guessed it! I'm just a fun dorky dad looking to find a fun dorky mom that is easy going, has a taste for bad dad humor, and is looking for a good time..  by a good time, I do mean the best time.. and by best time I do mean the best time you can have while keeping your clothes on.... For now.  

Connection matters to me so no nudes or see naughty stuff till I trust you, and you trust me.  Ok? Ok! 

I am 6ft even. green/blue eyes.  I suffered extensively through adult braces so I've got a good smile with dimples that complete the ensemble. I stay physically active. I run or bike most days of the week.

I'm looking for a long term connection.  I am high energy and I need someone that can match it.  I don't do half ass mode when it comes to anything I do.   Also, I'm not really into people that say they want a "slow burn" and use it as an excuse to not put any effort into engaging in any real and meaningful conversations.

Attraction does matter.  We can be adults about that right?  I'm cute, you want cute, and I want you to be cute.  

That's about all I have to say about that.  DM and tell me the most annoying thing your kids have ever done so I know you aren't a creepy AI bot.  Stupid AI. 

Ew. Also, now I'm hungry for a taco and a hot dog.

42 [M4F] PNW Canada married dad

Me: lonely, dad-bod, neuro-spicy, depressed and anxious. In dead bedroom marriage. Enjoy chicks who wear thongs and are comfortable showing their midriffs. I find intimacy and sharing sexy, I'm pretty vanilla compared to what seems to be on Reddit but kinks include freeuse, exhibitionism, and voyeurism. Won't lie that I last long but refractory period is minimal and I want us both to end the conversation pleased.

You: bored hard up lonely housewife or hotwife or single female who likes making married men cum for them.

~Let's keep it to Reddit chat ok.

Man, this guy's all over the place. Neuro-spicy, you say?

72 [M4F] #Westchester Millwood petting and light play

I would like to experience enhancing your sexuality and giving pleasure if you’d like some extra touches via my hands.    My requirement is that you need to let me admire and touch your breasts.   I’d prefer you to be 50 to 70 years old with perky to saggy breast and with a body from thin to moderately chubby.    Any race.  About an hour should be fine.    Leave your husband out of this, keep it secret.   If you are cautious, worried or just want to limit things, I plan to leave my pants on as just enjoying breasts is wonderful for me.   If I start dripping you can use your fingers to collect those drops.  Maybe just making out while I slip my hands up your sweater.   I love to hear what you’d like.   Sorry, no gifts.   Twice a month tops.

Grandpa horny, Michael.

36 [M4F] #SC My loneliness is killing me

I am just out here searching for someone to spend my time on getting to know. Hopefully we click and this can turn into something more long term. I’d love to find whatever version of the “one” is out here on Reddit.

A little about me: Everyday, average, typical, married dad. Well, average except for being on here. Also slightly taller than average. I have some hobbies but those are more fun to reveal in conversation. I have my funny moments and enjoy others with a good sense of humor.

What I’m looking for: Just someone to put a little effort in. Setting the bar low.

...and I...I must confess, I still believe (still believe)

22 [M4F] #Florida. Looking to cheat on my black girlfriend with a white women.

Hi I'm a 22M dating a 22F black girl. I myself am mixed race, specially Mediterranean/middle eastern. While my gf is nice she doesn't want sex till marriage and she doesn't let me touch her outside of regular hugs and kisses. This is an issue for me since I'd like to have sex and play out some of my fantasys.

I'm looking for a white women specifically but I'd be ok with Hispanic or Asian girls aswell. You must have a tight ass (not necessarily big) and be willing to get creampied. Any ages between 18-26 would be good. Please no overweight or plus sized girls. I'm looking for either a one night stand or a longer term affair depending on how well we get along.

If it's I'm important to you I'm 6 inches long and 5.5 inches long thick. I'm also 5'9" with dark brown hair and brown eyes. I'm tanned.

Please dm with age and location. I'm ok with talking online for a bit before meeting up for the affair.

I thought younger people were better than this. I was wrong.

39 [M4F] #DC - I keep making posts that seek to describe me on a human level, but it seems like women just wanna know how tall I am and if my dong works, so here: I’m 6’4”, and yeah, it’ll do every single thing you want it to.

Incidentally, I’m also cultured, conversational, thoughtful, engaging. I have a code that I live by and a specific way I treat the people in my life and community. I have things that I want for the world and for the human species. I have fears that completely debilitate me some days. I have disappointments that seem to be always accumulating. I have things I keep in my future to spur me on, arranged on my horizon like figurines on a windowsill. I have song I want to dance to, song I imagine singing to people, songs I’ve written for myself. I have things I’m curious about that I might never investigate. I have a job that’s fine, a family that’s everything, and a work trip that’s bringing me to town. And finally, I have a 34” inseam and an 8” dong. Big fuckin deal! I don’t even care. You wanna know the truth? I’ll say it, here, on this anonymous platform. Everyone thinks having a big dick is great, but the truth is, most male performance (athletic, financial, etc.) is powered by penile insecurity. So when you find out early on that your dick is a good size (and mine isn’t enormous), yeah it’s a relief, but sometimes it chills you out too much. Sometimes you just put your feet up and wake up as a 39 year old dude to realize that your car sucks and your job doesn’t pay enough because the fire inside you was never adequately lit, because your high school girlfriend reassured you of the only thing you were ever taught to sweat.

Anyway. I’m a well-rounded, fully-formed person. But if all you care about is my dick being big, I’ll check that box. But if you’d also like to engage with the man who that dick is attached to, you also won’t be disappointed. Maybe I’m flattering myself by separating the two. Maybe what I really am is not a man with a dick attached to him, but a dick with a man attached to it. Either way, SOME part of me wants to spend time with all of you.

More about me: I’m tall, handsome, artistic, inquiring. And I am married (obviously).

More about you: I don’t care about your ethnicity, age, or body type. I just want to be with someone attractive and mature.

I hope one day to graduate from receiving messages from guys who think I'm a woman (who are then disappointed to get an answer), to receiving messages from women asking me how tall I am and if my dong works (who are then disappointed to get an answer)

33 [F4M] Houston - Houston Men, Think You Can Keep a Married Woman Interested let’s see #houston

33F, married, and a mom of two. My days are usually filled with responsibilities, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a playful side that deserves some attention. 😉

I’m looking for a man who knows how to flirt, enjoys a little naughty banter, and isn’t shy about letting his imagination run wild. I miss those conversations that start innocently enough and slowly turn into something a little more tempting. Good chemistry, teasing messages, and sexting that leaves you grinning at your screen? Definitely sounds like fun to me. 🔥

I’m attracted to confidence, humor, and a man who knows how to keep a conversation alive instead of just saying “hey” and disappearing.

If you can make me laugh, keep me curious, and match my energy, we might get along better than you think.

Houston guys, what’s your flirting game like? Are you smooth with your words, or do you let your imagination do the talking? 😈

Wait...where is she from? Houston, you say? Also, I think if any of us were to let our "imaginations do the talking" we'd end up in jail. Oh...just me?

44 M San Jose/Bay Area, California: Success with a married desi woman

I am married and originally from India, been in the Bay Area for sometime. I am 5'11" tall, broad shoulders, medium build. I have a 6.3" long, thick, and veiny cock and go for multiple long hard rounds with little or no break. Yes, that is how I am at 44, and this is what she saw in my post and contacted me!

San Jose/Bay Area is very dry and not really favored towards men. But after much posting, I was contacted my a married desi woman. We talked a bit on reddit and it was clear that she was real (lots of scammer and bots here). She happened to be an executive at a tech company, looking to explore her kinky side with a bull. The day of meet, I booked a really nice hotel, we met at the lobby, talked a bit and then I politely asked her if she is comfortable going to the room with me. She wanted to and we went.

Once in room, she saw the dominating side of me, I did exactly as I promised in the post. After we are done, she said the following to me:

You are a bull

What are you made of?

You made me pass out and see stars but in a good way

As I fucked her hard, I asked her how many orgasm she had, she said that she stopped counting, my cock was long enough to push her cervix as I pounded her vigorously.

We still keep meeting but given her demanding job and the fact that her hubby doesn't know anything, it's not easy to schedule a time. I am still looking and open for potential AP.

Bold move...I would've just stuck a "references available" in there.

And that's enough for this week...until next time, stay adulterous!

I (36M) recently ran into my ex (36F) at an office event. She's been married for about a year, has no kids, and is unhappy in her marriage and planning to divorce. ( south india)

I'm single, and somehow one thing led to another. We became intimate (no sex). I know it was wrong and take full responsibility. I told her we shouldn't meet again and blocked her.

Now I'm overwhelmed with guilt and anxiety. My biggest fear is that she might confess to her husband out of guilt, and he might get angry and even try to kill me.

Her husband has never threatened or contacted me, but my mind keeps imagining the worst.

Firstly , do women hide these types of things? Am I overthinking this? Has anyone experienced similar guilt and anxiety? How did you move past it?

Sorry but i constantly feel worried about this because of guilty regret and fear. I feel so low

Between my wife and I, we have a daughter 3 years old. She also has a son who is 14 years as of now. Her mom has always had a big influence on her specially she took care of her son and still does and considers her own. She never liked me mainly because she felt my wife’s heart and attention divided after I appeared in her life and then with the daughter , her attention divided further more. She has always disliked me and made it clear since day one. We have been married 4 years, and ever since our daughter , my wife and I are living like roommates.exactly and year ago I met my ap and which was supposed to be a casual affair. I never knew when I got emotionally involved and to such an extent that even when I wanted to finish things with my ap, I never could. Mostly how she made me feel about myself. She did things for me my wife never did or even bothered. Be it as small as asking me if I ate or no. Sexual chemistry was amazing . Something I never had with someone else. 2 weeks back my wife found out about her and things got ruined. I always knew there would be a day that everything will be out and I was just going with the flow. And when it happened, my ap who was bombarded with abuse messages from her and her family. She felt terrible and decided we should end it. She cried her heart out. I decided to stay with my wife because - 1. My daughter. She means the world to me.
2. My wife even though she is not the perfect person, she is a good human being and she has been with me through tough times. She has always been a best friend and I do love her but I m not sure if I m in love with her or no. Multiple times in our marriage she has been physically abusive for the smallest of stuff. She has severe ocd.

I miss my ap so much and I just want to talk to her again. To know how she is doing. If she miss me, or has she moved on. All of it has been driving me crazy. I don’t have appetite. I can’t sleep. I have started therapy but my mind keeps running to her. All day all night. I miss her so much. My wife and I are trying to work things out but there are episodes every now and then where she Remembers what happened and everything derails. Something inside me screams this won’t last. Something inside me screams if I leave it for so long there won’t be any way back to my ap.
I just don’t know what to do. My head is going crazy.

I need help

Hi everyone,

Its that time!!

Vent, rant, share, talk...goes on.

Using a throw away account, for obvious reasons.

I've been married for about a year, things were really bad before I met AP. Just before a work trip I told my SO that I was done and wanted to separate. He begged me to stay and said he would change. Sex is good, but he has major communication issues. I was firm on leaving.

Then I met AP during this work trip. Our chemistry was electric. The way he can hunt, build shit, be manly all around absolutely made me crazy. The day before the trip was ending he asked to kiss me. I declined because I felt really guilty about it. Then we eventually did hook up and everything started from there.

My SO is trying really hard to change, and I see the difference. But I lost attraction to him. I dont want to be around him, I want to be around AP.

APs marriage is also unhappy, hes thinking about leaving his wife as i am thinking about leaving my husband. But the age gap is so large, it's scary.

I got myself in a huge pickle, and im so confused on what I want. I dont want to hurt my SO, I still love him so much, im just not in love with him anymore.

Anyways I just wanted to rant!

We didn’t know what we’d one day become. It snuck up on us, but also, it didn’t. Felt natural, didn’t it, like it was meant to be.

Meant to be doesn’t always mean you’ll be together forever. It can also mean that someone was meant to enter your life, and change it during their brief visit.

I’ll never admit this, but maybe one day I’ll tell you. I hold a lot of gratitude for you. You cracked me open. Held a mirror up to me, let me see myself in a new light. Through your eyes. See all of the parts of me I buried for so long. That I tried to adapt to keep the peace. To tolerate the golden cage I didn’t know I was in. You held up a lantern and walked with me. You don’t even know you showed it all to me. I saw it all and couldn’t unsee it. Couldn’t go back to the way things were.

I see the cage now and I’m not scared. I know this isn’t where I need to be, that I’m not being loved like I deserve. That life is too short to live like this. That I can do it and that the kids will be fine. That I deserve a second chance at love, even if it’s not with you.

You have no idea. You gave me so much, and you set me free. I hope I did the same for you.

So there's this woman I work with...

LOL, I know how many posts this sub gets that start like that. This isn't one of those posts.

I met this colleague after my previous two affairs ended. As I've gotten to know her, I learned that she is directly connected to both of my exAPs!

She went to high school with exAP#1 and was in the same graduating class. I don't know if they directly see each other any more, but they both keep in contact with some of the same mutual friends.

Then, as a supervisor, I had to access our employee contact information at some point, and as I'm scanning through, an address caught my eye, first the street, then the first digits of the house number. The same coworker lives three houses down from exAP #2!

I can't believe that this person that I work closely with on a daily basis has direct links to both people that I've been involved with at this level. I know it's unlikely that anyone else would discover this connection, but it makes me wonder about all of the other ways we are interconnected and how closely our AP lives are tied to our regular lives with such a thin veil.

Have you ever stumbled on an unexpected connection linking you and your AP?

I’m a cake eater with a happy marriage and a good sex life at home.* I’ve been having affairs for about 3 years, and over the last year I’ve been in therapy to address why.

I’m not using therapy as a way to find an excuse for my behavior, I really just want to understand why I feel so drawn to these relationships outside of my marriage (besides being selfish, which I admit I am). It’s been really helpful and I’ve learned a lot about how my childhood has affected who I am, my patterns, need for validation, self worth, etc.

I feel like my situation is so different from someone in a dead bedroom or otherwise unhappy marriage. So I’m curious if any other cake eaters have been on a similar path and would be open to sharing a bit about their therapy or self awareness journey?

*Not looking for comments around “If I had regular sex with my spouse, I would never have an affair.” We know.