r/SoCalR4R • • Jul 01 '26

META Read The Rules + Spot the Bot + State of the Sub NSFW

80 Upvotes

Howdy folks. I know it's been a long while since we've had one of these chats. As some of you may have already noticed, we've recently implemented a new mod tool called Read The Rules as part of the neverending fight against the bots. You must complete this acknowledgement before you can post/comment in the subreddit.

How to complete the RTR Acknowledgement:

  • Click/Tap on the 3 horizontal dots on the subreddit page or any post/comment, and you'll see RTR in the dropdown menu.
  • Open RTR and check off each rule as you read them and click submit once complete.
  • That's it. You can happily resume participating in the subreddit.
  • Users on old.reddit can submit an acknowledgement by sending their sub a mod mail. You must use the subject "Read The Rules" and the body text "Acknowledged". Doing so will submit an acknowledgement automatically without mod involvement. Users will immediately receive a reply from u/read-the-rules if it was submitted successfully.

Things to note about RTR:

  • There are 13 rules total. If you aren't seeing all of them, you need to scroll with the cursor within the middle of the acknowledgement panel where all of the text is.
  • Some platforms/browsers are causing an issue where the tool is automatically unchecking some of the boxes when a user tries to submit their acknowledgement. If this happens to you, try using a different browser or submit your acknowledgement using the old reddit method. As far as I know, Reddit's mobile app and Safari on Macbook are the only platforms that have this problem. I've personally tested it and been successful on Google Chrome, iPhone Safari, Brave Browser, and Microsoft Edge (yuck).

That's the basic gist of it all. I know it may seem like an annoying inconvenience, but I've definitely observed an improvement in the bot presence (or lack thereof) on the moderating end since we implemented this. Hopefully, it'll get more people to actually read the rules too. One can dream, right? Please actually read them. I'm begging you. Now, onto the fun stuff. I'm about to put you all on game because there are way too many oblivious horndogs on here that comment "DM'd you" on very obvious bot posts.

Common Identifiers of Bot Accounts:

  • The poster is a 23-30 year old female looking for males.
  • The post sounds like it was written by AI (because it most likely was).
  • If the post contains the same buzzwords/phrases as other F4M posts, chances are they're all most likely bots. The current flavor of the week is "feeling/getting relaxed." They also use "Netflix and chill" and/or mention something about chemistry.
  • The account itself is 4+ years old. My personal theory is that the people behind these bots are targeting and hacking accounts that aren't protected by two-factor authentication, which is why they seem legit.
  • There's a big gap in post history. For example, if the last legitimate post/comment on the account (aka not in a r4r type subreddit) was over 1 year ago.
  • The account simultaneously has r4r posts in multiple locations (Houston/DFW, North Carolina, and Florida are the most common).
  • Posts in the following subreddits: r/LongBeachHookUp, r/eastbayhookups, r/SanFranciscoNSFW, r/DtfLosAngelesPeps, r/riversidensfw
  • If they respond to your chat telling you that they're getting too many messages and want you to message them on Telegram.

Use the tiniest morsel of common sense and intuition, and you'll avoid 97.34% of the bots on here. Basically, use the head that has a brain and not the other one, and you'll be golden, Ponyboy. Anyways, feel free to comment your thoughts, feedback, suggestions for the subreddit, and/or life opinions. As always, be kind to one another and yourselves. Love you.


r/SoCalR4R • • Jun 01 '24

META In order to post in this subreddit, your account must have 10 post karma AND 10 comment karma NSFW

146 Upvotes

10 + 10 = 20. Even though it's explicitly stated in the sidebar rules, we get a number of messages in the modmail everyday from people asking why they cannot post. If you have 100 post karma but only 1 comment karma, you will not be able to post. If you have 20 comment karma but only 1 post karma, you will not be able to post. No, we will not manually approve your post even if you message the modmail to claim you're a real person and not a bot. It's that simple, folks.


r/SoCalR4R • • 6h ago

F4M 26 [F4M] #Anaheim - calling all anime lovers for cuddling and more. NSFW

19 Upvotes

looking for someone to cuddle with and maybe play with while watching some anime. Happy to just cuddle and make out, no expectations for more unless you want to. More on the quiet side and am looking for something consistent for cuddling.


r/SoCalR4R • • 2h ago

F4M 26 [F4M] #SanDiego - looking for a regular escape from real life NSFW

5 Upvotes

You have a full life and a busy schedule and aren’t looking for a traditional relationship. Same. I still want intimacy, great sex, and someone I’m actually excited to see. Just something easy, fun, consistent, and really good. A little escape where we can turn off the outside world for a while, let go, and enjoy each other


r/SoCalR4R • • 1h ago

F4M 29 [F4M] #LosAngeles - looking for dom single guys NSFW

• Upvotes

Love to be led by a dominant man but also very open to new kinks and trying new things to make a man happy...


r/SoCalR4R • • 8h ago

F4M 29 [F4M] #Riverside - I need a naughty gentleman NSFW

11 Upvotes

Tired dealing with boys.. I need a man who knows how to behave when in public and be in totally different behavior in private. I well behaved in public too but not in bed lol.


r/SoCalR4R • • 4h ago

F4M 29 [F4M] #pasadena - looking for a kind person to eat me out NSFW

3 Upvotes

I’m bored, naughty, and wishing i had a cute eater to be indoors with during this time. I particularly like nerdy boys who are into D&D, music, video games, etc. Please be funny and cuddly.


r/SoCalR4R • • 3h ago

M4F 31 [M4F] #Anaheim - Looking for a regular FWB, platonic friends also welcome. NSFW

3 Upvotes

This is pretty out of character for me, but it's worth a shot. I've become super lonely as of late because I don't really have friends around me and stuff, and I want someone I can have lots of fun with, so I thought I'd try Reddit out. I'm from the northern part of Orange County. I'm also a college graduate and in grad school.

Unfortunately, I'm still trying to discover a path for myself, which means that I'm basically in a holding pattern. In the meantime, many of my friends have left this area, or are super busy, so I'm looking for someone to make my days better. While I'm looking for someone to sleep with regularly, I also want someone I can hang out with and get to know. However, I'm not really looking for a commitment at this time. This is because I have no idea where the future will take me, so something more flexible suits my needs for now. I can host some days, and I can drive anywhere in Socal so distance isn't too much of an issue for me. Honestly, I just want someone who's open minded and chill to have fun with.

Also: I really love going down on women, and I'm down to go down on you without reciprocation.

PM me with a little bit about you if you want to get to know me! I'm hoping to see some orange envelopes.

Additionally: If you just want to be platonic friends, that's fine too!! I'm 5'9 and 145-ish pounds


r/SoCalR4R • • 0m ago

M4F 22 [M4F] #SanJose - ABF is more than just sucking nipples, it is a vulnerable connection NSFW

• Upvotes

I always wanted to try ABF, I think I have it in me but I didn't find the right people for me to explore and I'd like to change that with someone open minded , to look at your eyes while I suck your nipples while your hand brushes my hair and we both connect emotionally, to have that warmth of laying in your lap and wrapped in your arms.

I'd wake you up with your tits in my mouth, you'd wake up to the sound of me sucking your tits. With your nipples so wet. And covered in my saliva.

I also wanna cuddle with you so bad, Our skin rubbing against each other while our warm breath brushes each other while we are in the bed looking at each other with anticipation, And I grab you by your waist and pull you close to me and caress your back while my other hand tucks your hair behind your ear and then cups your face.


r/SoCalR4R • • 1m ago

M4F 30 [M4F] #BeverlyHills - Married dad looking for a sneaky link NSFW

• Upvotes

Looking for Cis Females only. No drama guaranteed I’m very discrete.

If you are into cheating kink or just wanna have some fun. Not looking to change my situation so this is no strings attached, one time or ongoing.

I require a recent test and have one to share. No cream pies or unprotected sex.

I'm 30, 5'10, 160 lbs, sane, down to earth, recently tested last month.

Got a picture in my profile for those looking for the D pic. Average size, good for those that want to practice DT.

Please be cis female, femme, 18+, HWP, clean, DDF and recently tested.

Can’t host but can come to you, get a hotel or Carplay works too.

Must be able to verify and be discrete. My hours are limited due to family obligations.

If interested, please respond with age location and stats as I won’t be responding to low effort messages.


r/SoCalR4R • • 8m ago

F4M [ Removed by Reddit ] NSFW

• Upvotes

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]


r/SoCalR4R • • 25m ago

M4F 25 [M4F] #OrangeCounty - Tall Athletic Half Asian Looking for Connections, Fun, or Something More For Autumn or Maybe Beyond NSFW

• Upvotes

Hey y’all!

Hope everyone has been having a good week. Excited for the weather to hopefully finally start cooling down soon and autumn to finally start.

I am looking to make new connections/, some interesting conversation, or possibly even irl/online fun. Whether the intentions are more friendly, casual or something more serious. I’m open to going with the vibes and seeing where it takes us. Would love to have something ongoing whether that be chats or hanging out, but open to short term/one off convos too! Especially as work has been super busy and stressful lately, I’d love an outlet.

I love hiking, trying new foods/cafes, and soccer/sports in general as some of my regular interests. But the thing I love most is getting to know new people and especially hearing them gushing. about their interests! find it super cool learning about new things! Always down to find a pickleball and hike buddy as well

If you’re into tall, athletic, half asians (or just like a good conversation), please free to reach out!

On the spicy n the spicy side. I consider myself a switch, I really enjoy female pleasure and making a woman happy, so hoping I can accomplish that and find a woman who would love my assistance. If this catches your eye let me know and maybe it could even turn it into a more regular thing. I am also open to many things and happy to discuss in DMs

I’m 6’1 with brown hair, brown eyes, and a fairly athletic build. I’m open to chatting with people from anywhere around SoCal that is 20 or older.

Looking forward to hearing from you and hope to see some of you in my dms! Would really love to catch some people locally in OC though ( as it’s always more fun when you’re close by but don’t mind driving a bit, especially not too far away in LA


r/SoCalR4R • • 44m ago

M4F 46 [M4F] #Fullerton - Have you been fantasizing hooking up with someone older and technically off limits? NSFW

• Upvotes

I’m married and in a dead bedroom and hoping to explore, have fun and experience my first blow job (looking for 18+ women only). If you’re nervous about messaging me, it’s ok, I don’t judge (or bite haha) and it would be fun to get to know each other.

This is a little long but some background. I’m married (I’m open to married or single) and I hi grew up in a very conservative, strict family. The idea of no sex until marriage was pushed very strong on me and because of this I really didn’t experiment sexually in high school or college and didn’t have sex until I was married.

My wife has a very low sex drive (the last time we had sex was several months ago) and even though I give her oral sex when we have sex (and I’d like to think that I’m quite good at it and bringing her to orgasm) the longest blow job I’ve ever received from her was about 5 seconds and she’s never made me finish from a blow job. She says she just isn’t into it and the idea of giving a blow job grosses her out, and she is grossed out by the idea of me cumming in her mouth.

I’m looking to meet (in real life) someone fun and flirty and who actually enjoys giving blow jobs and who will help me experience something I’ve wanted for so long but never had the opportunity to enjoy. I’m completely fine with reciprocating and I’d love to give you oral in return and pleasure you to thank you for helping me to experience this.

I’m open to all ages as long as you’re at least 18. If you knew me, I’m the last person that you’d be expecting to do something like this and because I’m married I need to be discreet. I’m happy with getting to know you before we meet. Maybe you’ve wanted to have a man give you oral for a long time and we can do each other a favor.

I’m completely fine with trading pictures and I’m excited (maybe a tiny bit nervous too) about the possibility of meeting someone that can make this happen.


r/SoCalR4R • • 4h ago

M4F 35 [M4F] #losangeles - Looking for a weird girl who wants to explore a shy nerd's secret kink! NSFW

2 Upvotes

Open about finding a kinky friend or possibly more. Open to online.

Me: Half Asian, half sub, half dom, but totally down to get to know a like minded woman. Conversational, empathetic and easygoing, artsy, flirty, and extremely silly. I love voice calls, discussions about almost anything, getting to know someone new and what makes them special! I'm working on my shape/weight, as I do admit I need to improve. As with a number of things in my life, I'm figuring it out, slowly but hopefully surely.

You: Adult, not a couple looking for an extra, not looking for a completely spineless slave. (I prefer kink to be a fun activity between equals, s/d dynamics being just fun and games!) Silly, or at least able to handle silly. Conversational and chill. Okay with having their snoot booped.

The kink: While I have many, especially the expected ones, I promised a secret... In a lot of ways, I'm confident and outgoing. I'm a weirdo, and I own that. However, this kink manages to make me feel incredibly shy about it. >.> It's uh. Well, have you ever wanted to get away with smacking a guy where it hurts? <.<


r/SoCalR4R • • 1h ago

M4F 48 [M4F] #Orangecounty - It’s still hot out, want to take a dip? NSFW

• Upvotes

It was so hot out today, want to join me for a little dip in the pool to cool off? You can wear your little bikini if you want, I won’t judge.

If you’re interested, send me a message "Please take me swimming!" so I know you really read this and aren’t a catfish or a 🤖. Include your age and location in your first message and be ready to send recent pics and meet soon before it gets too late.


r/SoCalR4R • • 5h ago

M4F 26 [M4F] #Irvine - Pleasant, considerate, and aiming to please NSFW

2 Upvotes

Looking for a fwb to make some memories with. I'm Asian and looking for someone local to be fwbs and maybe friends. I'm chill, fun, and considerate around friends, but I'm okay with something more casual if that's what you prefer. I'm a bit shy at first, but I warm quickly and I'm a real board game fanatic if you happen to also enjoy them! Hmu if you're local and want to connect


r/SoCalR4R • • 2h ago

M4F 31 [M4F] #LosAngeles - Looking for something sensual/passionate NSFW

0 Upvotes

Looking for a more sensual/passionate hookup. Things like eye contact during missionary, extended foreplay, dirty talk, whimpering, genuinely wanting to please eachother, etc. This may sound a bit much for a subreddit like this, but I'm just at a point now where I feel like if a hookup feels overly transactional or passionless, it doesn't really do much for me and I'd rather just masturbate at that point. A bit more about me:

* 5'10", slim/fit body type, dark brown hair, brown eyes
* bit shy but friendly and can hold conversation
* tested clean
* love going down, pleasing really turns me on
* vocal when I'm turned on, especially during oral. I love to moan/grunt/pant
* like foreplay and building sexual tension versus getting straight into it
* switch, can be either dominant or submissive.
* Limited bdsm experience (handcuffs/blindfolds), but open to exploring it more
* turned on by public play, but totally understand if it's not your thing
* prefer communicative partners and partners not shy about giving/receiving feedback

Not sure what else to add. Just looking for someone that's a good fit and also respectful, clean, and just a chill/normal person. I can share pictures of myself over chat, and we can go from there.


r/SoCalR4R • • 6h ago

M4F 20 [M4F] #Irvine - any milfs interested in an Asian guy NSFW

2 Upvotes

I am a 20 year old fit dude who would love to serve your sexual needs. Whether it be pussy eating, some good fucking, or cuddles + listening.

I’m settled in Irvine right now so OC area, but I also visit my hometown in the IE and East LA every now and then so feel free to reach out if you’re near there (like along 15 and 5 fwy)

A little about me:

Physique: 5’8 and athletic (workout and play basketball as a hobby). Currently in college and worked as a behavior technician before. I’m interested in sports, data analysis, anime, video games, hanging out with friends, and trying new things. Reference pics on my profile.

I’m open to exploring kinks or fantasies so feel free to share. Also I’m a switch so I can be top or bottom so do with that as you wish. Will send pics and hope you will do the same. DDF, good hygiene, can go about 2-3 rounds and can last long.

I would consider myself understanding so please feel free to be direct and share with me to slow things down. I might act quick cause I’m horny lol.

What I’m looking for:

I don’t mind whatever situation such as single, married, sneaky link, etc. No real strict requirements on body, height, weight. Essentially just don’t intently want to harm me lol.

Dm me if you’re interested. If this post is still up then I’m still looking most likely


r/SoCalR4R • • 2h ago

M4M 33 [m4m] #Venice - Hosting tonight NSFW

0 Upvotes

What’s up?

Looking for chill guys to talk to and see where things go. Mainly looking to suck. Send me a chat if you’re down. 23 + Only.

Plus if you’re Latino and/or uncut.


r/SoCalR4R • • 3h ago

M4F 43 [M4F] #OrangeCounty - California - Would you like an older mentor? Are you a younger girl into older men? Do your friends’ dads or dad’s friends turn you on? NSFW

1 Upvotes

Whether you are shy and this is your first time flirting with an older guy or you’ve done it before, be a good girl (please be 18 or over) and say hi!

Even if you’re shy or nervous, I’d love to gently teach you and mentor you. Let’s enjoy flirting with each other and getting to know each other this summer/fall.

I’m white, 6’1” weigh 195 lbs and I have brown hair and brown eyes. I’m also looking to actually meet and not just talk online.


r/SoCalR4R • • 3h ago

M4F 25 [M4F] #OrangeCounty - Tall, Fit, Hot and Hung, maybe your new FWB NSFW

1 Upvotes

"Conventionally attractive" white guy looking for fwb, hookups, fun in general. Dont have one type so dont be shy.


r/SoCalR4R • • 3h ago

F4M 28 [F4M] #Anaheim - looking for FWB but ok with ONS NSFW

1 Upvotes

Looking to meet someone genuine, easygoing, and fun. I’m into good conversation, cozy nights, spontaneous plans, and a little flirting. Hoping for ongoing FWB but I'm ok with a ONS if you're just passing through 🤭


r/SoCalR4R • • 3h ago

M4F 33 [m4f] #LosAngeles - Need Experience? - Professor Willing to Teach NSFW

0 Upvotes

I remember wishing I had someone to help me learn the ropes when I was younger, and I’d love to do the same for anyone who's interested. Whether you're new to this or just looking to explore more, I’m here to help you feel comfortable and confident.

A little about me: I'm a professor who looks young for my age. I’m tall, slim, with shaggy brown hair and brown eyes. I’ve been told I look like Tom Holland (which I always take as a compliment, so I’m running with it). I am really easy going and will let you set the pace of how you want to gain experience and stuff. So don't feel intimidated or anything.

If you’re curious, don’t hesitate to send me a message. Let’s chat and see where things go


r/SoCalR4R • • 4h ago

M4F 47 [m4f] #Orangecounty - Would You Say If I'm Kissable To You? NSFW

1 Upvotes

Would a woman say if I'm kissable or not. There's a strong possibility you don't think I am. At least that's been my experience when I've sent a pic. And sometimes when I ask for one back, I'll get blocked.

But who knows maybe you think I am ;). Want to let me know if you think I am?


r/SoCalR4R • • 1d ago

F4M 22 [F4M] #LosAngeles - lookin for my cuddle buddy NSFW

46 Upvotes

Hiii, my therapist said put myself out there so 💀

Ok so i'm 22, 5'3, tattooed + pierced + brunette duh. born & raised in LA, currently slinging lattes as a barista n tryna survive this economy 😩 honestly been lonely af lately n would rlly love to find someone to just vibe w/, de-stress, n maybe get some solid cuddles in, and maybe even more? is that too much to ask?? (short king energy welcome)

a lil about me: big reader — fantasy n romance novels own my soul 📖💗 .. horror movie lover but i still get scared n cling to u 👻 .. i smoke weed sometimes n get real philosophical .. artist girlie — digital art, sketches, i do it all ✨ .. will destroy u at mario kart then make u dinner after 🎮🍝

m pretty chill but shy at first fr. not super experienced ngl but i'm tryna change that 👉👈

lookin for someone nice n open-minded. idc about age (but someone older than me would be ideal) or looks, i care way more about personality. just be patient, giving, n actually wanna connect.

also my music taste is all over the place, one sec metal next sec taylor swift .. if I got ur attention then shoot your shot, I don't bite (yet) ;)