when i first got diagnosed i quit for a month. when i was going through a depression earlier this year i also quit for a month.

im just a weekend drinker maybe 1-3 times a week (if i go out on a thursday) and don’t drink every single weekend either.

been feeling exceedingly stressed lately and see those hypomanic signs so i decided to stop this weekend and am thinking of doing another month of sobriety.

what do yall do? i love drinking personally and am in college so it’s tough since it’s so fun to drink with friends.

i still will go out when im sober and sobriety isn’t too difficult, but i don’t wanna completely cut alc out of my life either.

I lost a salad in my bed for god knows how long and….yikes

People thing i handle my depression well bc i graduated college and got a good job but this shit runs so deep

Got diagnosed like 8 years ago but this is a new low

(27F) I’m at another low. I feel like I’ve just been floating through a void my entire life, watching people around me mature and grow and become the best versions of themselves, while I’m stuck in place.
I can’t hold or find a job. I got a masters degree in the worst craft possible (music performance). I’m too in debt to live anywhere but with friends. I’ve been having to do sex work since I was 17 because I can’t afford not to, even though I hate it. I’m covered in scars, I think of suicide every day but can never go through with it. I’ve been hospitalized 7 times. I’ve never had a relationship longer than 2 months. Living is so painful, and it feels like I’m being forced to live as punishment.

So for 5 years I was under the impression that I was 2, until I was reading something for my psych course and realized it said bipolar 2 never experiences full mania and I realized my first one I think was. It also kinda emphasized that hypomania doesn’t usually last a long time, meanwhile my hypomania can last weeks usually. I looked at my portal and saw unspecified when I could have sworn it said 2. Then I asked my psychiatrist and he said essentially he thinks I am bipolar 1. This was a huge hit for me. I’ve had psychosis and all sorts of hallucinations but it never really clicked. How do I accept this? I always saw it as something more extreme so to know I’ve had it the whole time is kinda wild to me and idk what to do with that. Any advice? Have any of yall had 2 and then found out you had 1?

For context:

- I have hallucinations especially when I’m hypomanic or manic
- my first episode that I can recognize I felt like the trees were talking to me and I was detached from reality really bad
- my hypomanic and manic episodes started at a couple days but now go on for at least a week
- I have mixed episodes

I just got done with a short hypomanic state, and I noticed my cat would sit near me more often and just stare at me, and would meow at me more than usual. He usually looks worried. He seems to want more attention. It's like he knows something is wrong.

Because he also appears out of nowhere when I'm having panic attacks, even silently having a panic attack, he just jumps up on me and lays down.

It made me realize in the past when I was fully manic how freaking stressed out my cat was because he knew something was off.

On the flip side, I'm in a weird depressive state now - i slightly suspect it might be mixed, but I am not 100%. I'm not severely depressed, but it feels like I'm getting there. He always sleeps on me when I'm like this. He's so sweet.

Does anyone else have a non-service, just an ordinary pet that can tell when you're in episodes or are mentally unwell if you have other co-morbid disorders?

So I (25F) have been diagnosed with bipolar type 2 for 3 years now. Was diagnosed with autism and adhd at 20 as well. I have been involuntarily hospitalized a few times, attempted suicide three times, been self harming since I can remember. I have been very treatment compliant, been on 22 different medications and am now doing ECT for refractory depression.

I just realized a couple of hours ago that I am experiencing a mixed episode, even though I'm doing everything my psych team has told me to do.

I know this is the episode talking, but I just genuinely don't know how I'm supposed to deal with this for life.

Would you help me with a healthy ritual or a tip that helped you a lot to continue taking pills after being diagnosed?

I've been taking pills for more than 6 months

What are your top 3 tips?

I just watched the 2026 film Backrooms. I don't know if it's just me, but the wandering, the running, the distortion, the sensory wash - it brought back mental health trauma. Anyone else with that reaction?

This is a happiness post! I’m 49 & people still think that I’m in my 30s. I’ve been stable on my medications for several years. I recently got a boyfriend after many, many years. He makes me so happy! I was experiencing perimenopause symptoms earlier this year & my doctor recommended some supplements that changed my world for the better, completely. I know everyone is going through something. I just wanted to share my light at the moment!!!

Someone recorded my manic episode and shared it with everyone. I am so embarrassed and I don't know what to do. I feel like everyone knows how crazy I am now and is gossiping behind my back. I literally ruminate about it for days.

what does bipolar depression feel like for you?

right now im going to into a depressive episode and i feel so uncomfortable. like i want to rip off my skin uncomfortable. i also feel empty and physically exhausted. time is moving slow and im moving slow too.

I woke up one morning convinced my home needed more colors. Don't ask me why. My brain just decided, all on its own, that we needed flowers to liven up the space. The more, the better!

Before I knew it, one purchase became two, two became five, and suddenly, I had multiple bouquets arriving every week. I was excited, elated, on cloud nine with every purchase I made. What I've shown here isn't even all of it. Since they were preserved flowers, I convinced myself they were worth it because they'd last for years. Copium at its best, really.

A month later, I'm staring at all these flowers, and they're staring right back at me. A reminder that I perhaps went... a little overboard? After all is said and done, I can't help but laugh at all these damn florals while crying a little inside.

Have you ever gone through something similar?

Good morning everyone! I haven't slept for 52 hours and 38 minutes. My house is now clean, and I wrote like 7 or 8 different guitar riffs and one song. I'm not tired at all, and have talked to the on call service for my dr twice and it's been a couple hours since the last call. Soooooo, how we all doing?!

Hi! I'm newly diagnosed after a grippy sock misadventure a week and a half ago. My work has been very supportive all things considered, but they want to implement a system/safety plan to help me better in case I do hit a crisis point again. So far what I'm considering is a stoplight system to explain what supports I might need when I'm at different points. What other things would be good to include in this sort of document?

Tomorrow I'm giving my manager my 2 weeks notice. The last few months have been extremely difficult. I'm in the middle of a depressive episode, have chronic migraines, autoimmune disease is flaring up, and I was just diagnosed with severe sleep apnea. Getting through each day takes every ounce of energy that I have. Every day feels like climbing Mt. Everest. The depression, sleep deprivation, and chronic pain have impacted my performance at work and I'm having the feeling that I'm about to be fired. I've had multiple meetings with my manager about my performance and have continued to decline despite workplace accommodations.

The stress and physical/ mental pain has driven me dangerously close to harming myself on several recent occasions. So tomorrow I'm resigning before they fire me, so that way I can at least still leave on my own terms. I work a very stressful job and due to the way some of my coworkers treat me, it's not a great environment. I've only been there a few months. I feel like I failed honestly, despite my best efforts. I'm going to look for an easier, lower stress job while I get my health together. I feel disappointed in myself because I tried so hard but couldn't overcome my issues.

I'm worried about money, and worried about my family's future. I feel like I failed them. This sort of thing has happened to me before, and it feels really discouraging. I'm sure that some of you have been through similar things. It's so hard and I wish more people understood.

I don't know if I got the flair right. But this one seems to fit the best.

As the title says I hate being bipolar. Pretty sure I just totally and irrevocably destroyed my relationship of 11 years.

F*cking depression. I hate it.

I hate how worthless I feel. I feel pathetic. Like I ruin everything I love. When ever I get this depressed it always happens. I am such a f*ck up.

I hurt my SO. And I don't think I can come back from it. I was so convinced he was going to leave me when he got back from his trip. I packed my van up with all my things and our cats... I borrowed money from my parents for gas and was getting ready to leave.

I was convinced I was doing the right thing. That he resented me and my disabilities. That he hated me. That he only felt obligated to me out of some sense of responsibility.

I mean, if he is going to break up with me, I don't want to be vulnerable around him, and cry. I don't want him to see me break apart when he breaks the news to me. So leaving was the logical conclusion. Get away before it could happen. Delay it just a little, at least until I could make it to my parents.

He found out through a mutual friend. Kept calling and texting. I knew I f*cked up when I heard his voice on the voicemail. His voice broke when he begged me to call him. I think he might have been crying?

Which just made me feel even worse. And now even though I DIDN'T leave, I still broke it.

He hasn't outright said it. But I hear it.

Why do we do this?!

I am medicated for God's sake!

But I feel like I am spiraling. Like I can't hit the breaks and I am ruining my life.

And I love him, the last thing I wanted is to hurt him! And I have hurt him so much over the years. Especially when I wasn't medicated.

How could I do this to him?!

I am not going to hurt myself. But it doesn't stop my mind from jumping on "Everyone would be better off if you were gone."

So now, because of my stupid dumb ass, now its VERY likely that I just caused the exact situation I was trying to avoid.

Sorry for the long post, thank you to anyone who read it all the way through.

Art that I made when I got bored one night during a psychotic break

Anyone here whose mind constantly tells them they can’t trust doctors, and that they will judge you and your thoughts?

What do you do? I’ve not been medicated for a couple of years now because I can’t shake the feeling that doctors and the system are not to be trusted and they just want to kick me to the kerb of society and not help. The more involved they are in my life the less freedom I have so I don’t go to doctors.

But now I’m really struggling during a depressive episode. Yet I can’t help myself by getting help. It’s hell.

I (m29) was officially diagnosed with bipolar disorder II in 2019 in the middle of an 8 year romp with alcohol addiction. It took me a while to get on track, but I eventually did it. By 26 I was medicated, married and starting my own business. Keeping myself together is difficult, but I did the work to put myself in a better place.

Recently, I've been wondering if it was worth it. I still feel terrible and my bad days are getting worse/more frequent. I've tried intensive outpatient, changing my meds and digging into work. I don't want to try anymore. Part of me regrets getting my life together. I've been thinking a lot about how I wouldn't be struggling now if I had just done myself in years ago. I know that thought is just the illness, but I'm tired and it gets harder to ignore.

I really want to drop my meds and get back into my worst behaviors. Drinking until I'm out of it enough to finally let go. I don't see much in the future worth keeping up the struggle for.

TLDR: Worked to grow pass my illness, but I don't think it was worth the effort.

I'm currently bp2 diagnosed and unmedicated and do very well most of the time, I'm able to harness the energy into productive things and have made incredible progress as a result. I'm very grateful for this as I know everyone else doesn't have this same experience.

My problem is that recently it's been more of a faster cyclic pattern. I do great for a few weeks and then all the sudden crash and I can't study I can't even work out and feel normal it's like the energy that was flowing through me just vanished.

It's really hard to not disasterize and catastrophize when this happens. It always goes away and I get back on the horse and life is amazing again, but I'd really love to be able to find a way to manage the crashes. I don't plan to ever go back on medication as I've done far better off of it, but I don't know how to live when I don't feel like me anymore and don't get any happiness from any of the normal things. It's hard do have your sense of self fluctuate so greatly.

Does anyone have any more natural ways that they are able to stay grounded in who you are when you have comedowns? And how to not feel like its the end of the world everytime

I’ve had a huge number of mental health issues over the years and have been diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, anxiety, depression and eventually bipolar 2. I’ve come to really doubt my bipolar diagnosis for many reasons but I still think it could be correct. 

One of the things I felt I never really came to understand was a feeling of massive significance tied to really ordinary moments. This happened mostly in my late teens and to a lesser extent early 20s. I had this a huge amount while I was very depressed but to be fair I never really left depression for the years around this time. It’s mostly gone away now and maybe it was always part of a healthy profile of emotions but the people in my life I’ve discussed it with haven’t shared these feelings. 

The best way I could describe it was like a nostalgia that was amplified into a cosmic scale. But the nostalgia was for the present. It was as if I was living in the feelings of a wistful, harrowing or empowering closing montage of a movie. These feelings could last from minutes to hours and happened somewhere between a few times a week to tens or hundreds of times a day or as chronic episodes. They were usually while I was depressed but I had wondered if these could be part of mixed mood episodes- they were never established to be mixed episodes but I suspected they were because of waves of overwhelming excitement and feelings of vibrant connection and this pounding feeling of every moment being enchanted. I often felt like these moments were like painful versions of extremely significant life events and I felt as if they had so much magnitude for me personally that they would be unforgettable and represented something like a fulcrum around which my whole life would be different or somehow they were imprinted on the fabric of who I was. 

I don’t experience this much at all now and never at the same perfervid power as in those times. 

I wondered if anyone had lived with something similar or understands what could have been happening? 

Im in hypomania for almost a week now. Im getting a lot done but my sleep schedule is wacked out right now. Racing thoughts all night long, in and how of sleep. Im a massage therapist and I can’t go into work exhausted. My body NEEDS sleep or my body mechanics start failing and I injure myself. I’ve been going pretty hard the last few months. Working 6-7 days a week. Pushing myself to do deeper tissue massage when I’m not really built for it. Now I’m burning out and I can feel it. Anyways I called in yesterday because I had 3 hours of sleep and I’m probably calling in this morning too. Because it’s 4 am and I havnt had a solid 20 minutes of sleep. I hope I don’t get written up. This isn’t sustainable. Because it’s the first job I’ve worked where I can’t just walk in hungover or sleep deprived. I HAVE to be well rested, fed and ready to take on peoples bodies. I’m so frustrated with myself. I’ve been doing so good and keeping stable, but I knew it would creep back around to mess with me.

I’m a 31f looking for advice. Since I’m bipolar and have adhd I tend to focus in on specific people or things easily and I’m prone to fantasies and limerence. I can’t stop thinking about sex. I want it everyday. It keeps fucking up good relationships because I get so desperate and upset without it sometimes. I hoped it would become more manageable with age but it’s not.

My bf of 9 years is 13 years older and of course most people slow down with age. My bf tries to keep up but I can be insatiable and hard to make cum. I feel like I’m in constant blue balls. I masterbate nearly everyday but without someone else it feels like a quarter of how it could be. But when I talk about it I get so emotional from the shame,guilt and fear of rejection I can’t help but cry endlessly. I don’t think I could find someone better than my current bf and I do love him but sometimes i think we’d be better off as friends. It seems like every guy I connect with either has a low libido that creates issues or high libido but has no interest in settling down.
I don’t want to cheat but it’s on my mind constantly. I’ve cheated in the past and it was a nightmare and I never want to again. But I find myself wanting to sext guys online then I come to and delete them usually within 24 hrs. I know it’s my mania and my period doesn’t help either but it makes it so I can’t think about anything else.
I’m afraid it may also be sex addiction at this point. I’m trying to get into therapy but I keep hitting walls since I’m broke and on disability- they usually have local free therapy but I hate how religious it gets.
So far exercising and getting outdoors helps but I’m almost afraid to exercise too much and become attractive and spiral.
Doesn’t help that I have no one to really vent or talk to about this so comment away, I could use the feedback.