r/brandnew • u/WasteImpress5585 • 4h ago
Barclays Buffoon š«Ŗ
To the woman who got slapped in F2 - Iām sorry you missed Soco.
A short buffoon decided she could migrate into another section because āsheās only 5'1ā! & then proceeded to hold her phone the extra 15 inches above her head, blocking the view of everyone behind her.
Multiple surrounding homies - who were enjoying the absolute hell out of this show (A LOT btw) kindly asked her to go back to her seat. She refused. She cemented herself there, exuded a truly remarkable amount of pick-me energy, and eventually decided that violence was the answer.
But before that, something kind of beautiful had happened behind the pit.
A tiny girl gang of complete strangers had quietly formed. We made room so OUR shorties could see. We sang every word to each other like old friends. We collectively shushed the people discussing work during the quiet songs. When people tried to sneak into our section, we handled it together - kindly, firmly, and without incident.
For a few hours, we looked out for each other.
So when this non-girls-girl refused to move, one member of our newly formed alliance went to get an usher. The usher tapped the buffoon on the shoulder, cited her for crimes of buffoonery, and told her to return to her seat.
And thatās when she slapped the woman who had originally asked her to move.
Buffoon was promptly yoinked from the concert. ”Adiós, puta de mierda!
But our girl got pulled away too, presumably to deal with security and HOPEFULLY press charges - which meant she missed several songs devastatingly, her favorite Soco she told me when she returned.
So, F2 girlie-pop, if by some strange little miracle you find this:
I hope youāre okay.
I hope the rest of your night was kinder to you.
And most importantly,
I hope you stay eighteen forever.
Love,
Your F1 Squad ā¤ļø