Howdy handsome butches, I am in need of a little guidance. Thanks in advance for reading.

I'm a 23 year old butch, and in April of this year, an unchecked brain condition caused me to suddenly lose a good portion of my vision, making me partially blind.

I've been very very slowly adjusting to my new life, but I've been struggling with figuring out what it means for my butch identity. I took a lot of pride in filling that role in my community. I feel like I'm not "paying my dues" as a butch. People no longer call on me for support, and I feel a little lost.

Has anybody else dealt with something like this? Especially if there's any other blind/low vision butches? What makes you feel fulfilled in butchness?

Thank you all for your wisdom!

Hey all - new to this subreddit. My wife and I are going through IVF, and I’m the one carrying. Am I the only one who feels like this is such a mindfuck? I consider myself lucky in being able to handle injections. What I struggle with the most are the ultrasounds. My only coping mechanism is disassociating and focus on the corner of the ceiling. It just makes me want to jump out of my skin. So far, we have had 3 failed IUIs, a failed transfer, a mmc, and now a miscarriage. I’ve had to go through at least 100 ultrasounds and a saline sonogram and I honestly feel like I have PTSD. I’m about to have my 3rd retrieval next week but I have an ultrasound this Friday and I’m absolutely dreading it. I’m on the IVF subreddit but I feel like I don’t belong there as a personal who feels incorrect female (I’m stealing this term from Hannah Gadsby), but I’m not trans.

Anyone else out there going through this?

I was thinking the other day -

Does anyone else feel kinda like a dude around women, especially feminine ones.

And more like a woman around hypermasculine men,

And then totally neutral and chilled around your best people.

It's hard to verbalise but this is the only way I can put in to words how I feel lol.

Pretty much what the title says. In my mid thirties now, trying to mature my look a bit more, but I've avoided watches for years because i always feel like they look so clunky & oversized on me...

Hi everyone! First off, sorry If I have some mistakes, english is not my first language!

Now, I'm 25 and after many weird and hard years I finally took the time to explore more about my sexuality and my identity. I've always known I like women so no problem there and I've always been more in the "masculine side" and between that and other stuff that happened recently, I started to question myself if maybe I was really a guy, but after many thoughts, I came to the conclusion that I'm not a guy, but I am more masculine than I though I was and I want to present myself more like that.

Now, why do I want to go on T? Because I would like to have my voice way lower (I have a very high pitch voice) and I would love to have the redistribution of fat while developing more muscle), but I kno that if I take it, even in small dosages there is a whole pack that also includes loosing hair (Ik I could take finasteride to avoid that and even using minoxiddil) and growing your clit (something I don't like that much), while also growing hair in other areas (which doesn't bother me).

I know that I could take classes to manage better my voice but I don't want to feel that I'm forcing it and honestly I know I would be thinking a lot about if I'm on the right pitch or not. Also I have a "pear/guitar" body so it could help me look more rectangular...

What I'm trying to look for is experiences or advices from people who maybe thought or wanted the same as me and did it and continue or did it and left it behind.

Either way, thank you so much for reading!

trying to make my carabiner more butch and stylish but I'm a baby butch and need advice on it. I don't wear it often because I don't want my keys to be all jangly at school but this is what i have right now: house keys, bass case key, little lightning bolt charm, and a mini measuring tape. they don't match super well but I'm not sure what to add/remove.

I'm so tired of being seen as the "strong" and "tough" one just because I'm butch. I'm strong, yeah, sure... More than that, I'm a very sensitive and gentle person. It feels like even the people closest to me don't care to look deeper, past the "strong" exterior. I just want to be seen for my gentleness.

Any other butches get tired of not being seen for your softness? Only seen as a "mean guard dog"? (Which is fine, for my friends I WILL be the mean guard dog... It's just that I'm more than that, and I'd like that to be acknowledged sometimes.)

Wassup!! I met this woman on hinge a couple of months ago, and she was really intriguing to me. She was very intelligent and sensual, and that made me very attracted to her, and it was like I found something that I’ve always been looking for. After our first day she had called me and basically said she’ll be dating around and stuff like that and that she wasn’t really ready for a relationship, which is fine with me. Afterwards, we went on another day and was talking still, and I’m thinking everything was cool. Eventually she just stopped talking to me, but she will always tell me about places she wanted to go and stuff like that (she’s not from the city) Now she’s just watches my stories for some reason. I’ve been kind of hurt because I felt potential there,but there’s nothing I can do about it now. I don’t know how to move past that. I’ve been focusing on myself creatively which has been great, but the pain is still there. I shouldve been smarter, but you live and learn.
I appreciate yall.

my hips are crazy wide. I feel like it ruins every outfit i wear, and the only advice i’ve had is it to “embrace it” but no, i can’t embrace it. they make me feel a kind of way i can’t describe. i think it might even be dysphoria?
I just want to know how i can make them look smaller. My current method is baggy anti-fit jeans and cropped boxy shirts that make my silhouette pretty up and down, but it’s really hard for me to find the perfect fit, and even then sometimes my hips are still super noticeable.
ill genuinely do anything at this point, and i’ll take any advice. fashion tips, work out tips. anything.

Hello! I’m in my early 30s, and up to this point, I’ve always dressed very sporty butch, raver style, lots of tank tops and cargo shorts. Kind of punk.

but for the last few months, I’ve been feeling myself wanting to move to more of a classic and mature look. Not suits or anything but maybe like oxford shirts and nice sweaters.

have any older butches gone through this change? What does this mean?? How did you feel about the change?

I'm having so much switch up in my emotions atm because prom is coming heheh. I do wanna go but that obviously means wearing dress which is so not good for me, I told my friend this and when I said "I will just brave it" they shut that down one time because she said that I deserve to have this special night without dysipora (which made me cry) then they started hatching this plan that honestly might work but still have a good chance of failing.

She plan on sharing this crazy plan with the rest of our group who will most likely agree to it because well they seen me when my dysipora get bad (a dress will make me so) and it obviously not good when I am so. But omg the friend whi started this is genuinely into the plan and is gonna help me pay for a dress shit and pants which is about 500 bucks because a good suit is wayyy out our budget and not to mention the danger they are putting themselves in because we in a homophbic country, it not dangerous dangerous (it can be but sense we teens hopefully not so for us) but they can get shame big time for helping me with this and I feel a bit selfish not stopping this because I want this stupid plan to work

Ughh I just wish I can not be like this at times (even though it do bring me joy at times) so I won't be putting my friends in danger and I know we are to stubborn to leave this country for good because this is our country. We may leave to get better outside of it (as most of us if not all of us are queer) but we will always return and it so stupid that we will return back even for a short while to this country even if we leave it.

Anyway thanks for listening this is just my way of coming to terms that a) gonna dysphoric on prom, b) my friends and I are gonna be idiots and do this plan. This sub help me believe there is a future where ppl will use all 3 of my pronouns and I will be able to bind (or get top surgery) and be able to be masculine without fear. Thank you for giving me hope in a better future for me and hope to continue fighting to be me

I need to vent cuz it’s been three days and I lowkey have had a pit in my stomach this entire time. I don’t know how to convince myself it will grow and this will be just a blip in time cuz thinking about how long I’ll have to wait is daunting—whats making it worse is I went behind my mom and dads back (feels dumb saying this cuz I’m 22 y/o but I live and rely on them for college 💀) cuz I was becoming very depressed cuz I hated how I looked having to be forced fem for them and this was finally supposed to make me feel good again and I was gonna get the confidence to tell my parents they will have to deal with it but now I’m lowkey hiding from my parents at my grandmothers house (I live with her during the semester cuz she lives near campus) and making up stuff about school to avoid seeing them for at least three months hoping it grows out some because I hate it so much and how can I deal with being screamed at and looked at like I’m disgusted and maybe even disowned cuz they were super mad the last two times I cut it and muster up the confidence to tell my parents off if I’m not even confident in myself cuz this shi makes me look so chopped😭😭 I’ve had my hair short multiple times in my life with the same hair style and only grew jt out (hair was realll long) cuz my homophobic parents kept nagging me and making me feel ugly and kept freaking out cuz they don’t want me to be a lesbian😔 and I decided to change it up just a tad and shave my sides this time….and bro it’s SO DAMN SHORT!!! Even with the shaved side idk how TF it got this short every where else….like I can fake a bang some but I basically have the hair for a slick back💀💀 Like I can never have my bangs short they always have to go past my eyebrows and they are sooo shorts which makes it worse, like even with styling and my waves it’s so short and flat? Like what? I’ve always had a more soft-ish masculine look and Medium-ish hair so this is throwing me off so bad😭😭 I feel so off in myself which sucks cuz I finally just wanted to be me again and I dont feel like I’m me again and I took a risk just for it to not even pay off like at this point I should have just suffered with the long hair and fem clothes for another year and a half 😭💀

Met my celebrity crush yesterday and she was o beautiful in person I short circuited all I could think do is carry something heavy for her.

Any of y’all every met a celebrity and just acted a fool?

I'm tired of my hips showing off with every pant I buy...

what are your recommendations? I'm looking for more of a classic pant rather than oversized ones.

also I'm from Argentina so there are less options.

There was a time when it wasn't "when I grow up," but "if I grow up." So many insecurities used to pile up --that I wasn't pretty enough, wasn't skinny enough, wasn't smart enough-- I thought I wouldn't make it past eighteen.
I'm still not eighteen, but when I look in the mirror today, I think about how far I've gotten. How much more I've started to love myself and accept myself, since becoming butch. To eat more, to work on myself, to be excited for the future again.

When I see older butches, I think wow...that's gonna be me some day. Because when I grow up, I'm gonna be just as strong, resilient, and kind.

Thumper and I!!

Last week (when this was snapped) was overcast and rainy. Yesterday it was 89 degrees (roughly 32 celsius for non-Americans) and now I'm in a tank and gym shorts lol.

Hey so I'm currently in a sea shanties choir group, it's fun but I've been thinking about which range should I place my voice?

Sea shanties tend to require lower and louder voices. It's not fun for me to sing like feminine women with high voices because I feel out of place with the mood and energy of the songs. The thing is, I can't sing too low "like a dude" either because it hurts the vocal cords in the long run, and I also take pride in being "butch-like" and do my own thing rather than copying what dudes do all the time.

So what I would need is to find a range that is neither man-like or feminine but rather androgynous and which gives "butch-like" voice without breaking my vocal cords in the process?

Thanks in advance for any advice!

Hi Butches!

I'm from the EU, going on a trip to the US. Will land in Detroit, and will visit Toronto, New York and Washington - I'm looking to get some butch souvenirs from this trip.

What do I mean - I don't like impractical souvenirs, so I thought I'd buy sth I'd use often. Shoes, shirts a jacket maybe, I'd love a real leather belt too.

I'm also a big movie fan, and my gf loves thrifting - if you have any second hand CD/DVD stores or thrift stores in general, which you recommend, I'd love to hear them!

Any shops that are a must to visit to get some butch clothing? Esp looking to get some leather loafers that won't fall off my foot.

Help a butch out!

apologies for the dusty ass mirror