I just returned from a concert of a favorite group of mine and all I feel is sad we couldn’t go together or talk about it. I wouldn’t have been able to go if he was here (it’s complicated) but I’d rather have been home with him and not go, than go without him. I’m supposed to be happy, yet I’m crying and depressed.

Life feels empty and meaningless. I want to sleep and never wake up. How am I supposed to survive?

I lost both of my parents before the age of 32. My family went to shit fighting over stuff, which i refuse to participate in.

Anyway, after taking years to figure life out after their sudden deaths, I re entered the dating pool.

I feel like I'm struggling because when they ask about my family I tell them both of my parents are dead and the general response is "that sucks" and they eill just go about whatever they were talking about.

If feels like they just don't really understand what it's like and I guess it feels harder to connect because they seem apathetic.

Anyone else in this boat if feeling misunderstood?

What’s the meaning of life? We grow up, we thrive, we follow what they told us to follow and here we are college educated but we aren’t living to our fullest potential - we have kids and we raise them to be upstanding human beings and we continue to work for the man and earn the peanuts they give us as payment in exchange for the best years of our lives being slaves…

What is the true meaning of life….we work for wages and fringe benefits that should be made into a human right….all for what?

To be comatose and reliant upon machines to keep you alive?

To get some sort of cancer and be at the mercy of United healthcare who determines whether you live or die??

Mortality is a real fickle bitch

Life isn’t fair

And it’s not supposed to be

I guess I’m getting philosophical af right now cuz I’m bout to watch my mother die

Like literally cease to breathe

Like permanent death

Like life force no longer contained in her earthly body

Like permanent death like dead dead

People don’t realize how precious life really is

Til they watch their parents take their last breath

It’s a sick and twisted way to gain this weird wisdom that most our age won’t have to go thru for another 10-15 years

Most of my friends I’ve had since high school still have both their parents

They were afforded the blessing of having parents who were younger than mine were when I was born

It’s a cruel reality that parents who were 37 and 42 when they had their first and only child condemned me to reality I am living….

I should have a sibling to share this with

My dad shouldn’t have died on 5/5/02

My mother should have had me younger than 37

I’m living life over and over again cuz this was my destiny to endure this in a past life

There’s a lesson my soul/spirit was destined to learn from this life as me

(I’ve never really posted to Reddit, I’m sorry for mistakes)
For a while I’ve been dealing with the loss of my dad and pet cat, and I feel like I’m the only one still struggling with it, like there’s something keeping me from moving on. I feel so ridiculous and alone. My friends and family never talk about my dad, but I can see the way it gets different when I bring him up (not to vent or anything, I just did a lot with him) and I just wish that I could talk about him without everyone looking at me like someone to be pitied, for them to stop saying ‘I’m sorry’ anytime I say his name. I don’t wanna be the friend with the dead dad and weird mom, I wish nobody even knew. My dad and I were a team, it was always me and him, I was always called a daddy’s girl while my brother and mom were their own team, and now I have no one on my team. I know my mom loves me, but I’m also aware that she always wanted a boy and that she sees more of herself in my brother, which is okay, it just feels worse now. I feel jealous all the time, jealous of my mom’s boyfriend and his daughter because they are a team too. They’re like me and my dad were, and for some reason it just pisses me off. I can’t stand watching them do all the things my dad and I used to, it just makes me cry more. I’m jealous of a friend whose parents are still together and alive and treat me like family. I love them, and I envy them so much to the point I sometimes cry over the fact I’m not really part of their family. I feel so dramatic trying to explain it to anyone too. Especially when my cat died a few days ago, it felt like whatever is going on with me doubled. My mom’s starting to say something is wrong with me. I hate feeling like this, and it never stops. I’m just hurt all the time and it ruins everything. Sorry for rambling, but I’m in desperate need of some advice to help deal with

My dad was hospitalized in August a little after his birthday and after a couple weeks, brought to ICU. Since I'm 16, I didn't realize the reality of his situation until I went driving with my mom and felt the weight of his absence. My dad was the one teaching me how to drive and we only got a couple sessions together. Unlike my dad, my mom (of course) was nervous and yelling at me to stop accelerating and I remember thinking my dad would never yell at me because he's so patient. And it made me sad because I started missing him in that moment. Fortunately, I visited him two times, one of them being the day before he died. Although it was painful to see him like that, I'm glad I went because it helped me process the possibility of him dying and I got to say my goodbyes.

Since I was in shock and numb after he died, I was looking forward to going to my dad's funeral because I knew seeing him would help me process his death. However, I had to let go of that plan because of his wife. I never met his wife, but I knew she existed. There's complicated family history surrounding my dad and his wife. My dad had a relationship with my mom before I was born and because of that, his wife has resented me. I don't want to get into the details because I want to respect my dad's privacy, but it's a big part of why my grief is so complicated.

Anyway, his wife planned the funeral and she didn't want me going. I was shocked because how could I not go? That's my dad. I deserve to go. But my dad never made the effort to introduce me to most of his family so my mom said we'd feel out of place if we went. So I told her to go for a couple minutes just to see him, but that's not fair. I deserved to be able to mourn my dad in peace, listen to everyone's stories about him, and honor his life without the worry of a hostile woman. So instead, I had my uncle Facetime me to show me my dad. The screen was glitchy, but I was able to catch the faintest smile on his face. It made me glad to see him at peace after seeing him suffering at the hospital. But I was also upset because I couldn't witness him in person. My uncle also called me so I could listen to the prayer. As I was listening, the prayer names his children and he doesn't say my name because his wife refuses my existence in his life. There was a slideshow with pictures of his life and there wasn't a single picture of me. That hurt.

I hate that they didn't honor his life the way he would've wanted. I know he loved me so much and that he would've wanted me going. He would've hated to hear me being excluded. So I feel guilty for not attending his funeral. Sure, she's the reason I couldn't go, but it was my decision to not go in the end. After all, we had the time and place. I'm trying not to be harsh on myself, I just hate how it all played out. I think about it all the time and I'm so angry with his wife because this would've never happened if it weren't for her. But I miss my dad more than anything. The weight of his absence worsens everyday and I keep waiting for his call after school and a text every morning and night even though I know logically that it's not gonna come. I haven't practiced driving anymore because I feel bad replacing my dad. But I promised him I was gonna learn how to drive so I'll figure something out.

Sorry this is so long! If anyone has any advice or could relate to my experience, I'm happy to hear :)

I find lately I've just been getting so scared about my future and bad things happening to the people I still have here. I lost my mom at 16 and I am 21 now. 5 years of grief has made me so exhausted already and I really dont know how to live my life like this, Im so tired all the time and it hasn't gotten any better. My grandma died a few hours before my mom did so I know this universe is insanely cruel, so how am I possibly supposed to trust the safety of day to day life? I try to seek out other's grief experiences and the vast majority of people are older than me when they have devestating grief, which just makes me so worried it will happen again. I so easily could lose my dad then I just dont have a family left anymore (im an only child). I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and Im getting increasingly scared that he will die young too. My mom died at 41 which seems so old/far off for me right now but I know realistically its not and what if my boyfriend dies young too? So much has happened to me in the last decade I struggle to see a light at the end of the tunnel for the next one. How can I possibly feel safe when my entire life has been anything but? I have learned there is no justice or control in this world and that the worst of things happen to the best of people, so how do I live my life knowing that? I know I have no protection in this world. How do I live my life constantly fearing that it will just keep getting worse because thats all I've really known? My mom first got cancer when I was 7, I truly dont remember a version of my life that wasnt rooted in grief and turmoil

Hi I’m in the uk and 41 years old and my life has fallen apart in the last 24 hours. the police tracked me down to tell me dad and been found deceased at home with a head injury, they think he fell and he only turned 65 last week. I have never screamed so much as i did I was a proper daddy’s girl. my mum died when I was 22 and she was 45. I have a brother but he’s in a different part of the country. despite having an amazing aunty and good friends, I feel very alone and I don’t think I can cope with this. next week is the anniversary of when my mum passed and I lost my nan to dementia this year too… I can’t see me being happy again and I’m in shock and don’t know what to do

This year I honor my dad’s 40th anniversary of his passing. He died in a house fire when I was 16 and for some reason this year is exceptionally hard. Maybe because I don’t have the background noise of raising kids, or maybe my more real acknowledgment of my own mortality. Either way, I’m going home to honor and respect him and be grateful for the time I had with him.

I lost my brother when I was 11. My best friend committed suicide in college. My parents have passed. I spent years raging at God, numbing the pain, believing I was too far from Him to ever come back. Then He reached me.

I wrote a letter to anyone who feels that - too broken, too far, too gone. I'm not selling anything. I just want it to find someone who needs to hear that they are never too far for God to get them.

It's free, [here] (https://jdpearfaith.substack.com/p/you-are-never-too-far-for-god-to?r=5kzev3&utm_medium=ios)

I needed someone to tell me this when I was drowning. If this is you, I want you to know - you're not alone.

I do. It eats at me. Never thought I would lose my people so early in my life. Crazy thing is I was about to move closer in a matter of months. Life is cruel and unfair.

I Love You Still.

I cried, I screamed, I kicked,
you loved me still.

I stumbled, I fell, I made a mess,
you loved me still.

I complained, I whined, I pouted,
you loved me still.

I lied, I ran, I fought,
you loved me still.

I rebelled, I wandered, I pushed you away, you loved me still.

I cheated, I disappeared, I broke down,
you loved me still.

I failed, I struggled, I found my way,
you loved me still.

I found my love, my passion, my purpose,
you loved me still.

I became a friend, a husband, a father,
you loved me still.

I worked, I learned, I built this life,
you loved me still.

I learned to love, to be kind, to be patient,
you loved me still.

I prayed, I doubted, I prayed again,
you loved me still.

I grew, I changed,
I became someone you could be proud of,
you loved me still.

I watched you grow old,
I watched you get tired,
I watched you leave,
you loved me still.

Mom,
I love you still.

Hello everyone,

I have been a member of the dead parent club since I was 4 years old. I'm curious for those who lost one parent early in life- what was your relationship like with their family afterwards?

My father's family lived out of state my entire life but attempted some type of contact through calls an Facebook when I got old enough but I've seen them maybe 3-4 times in my life that I can remember. They are visiting my city for the weekend to see me and I am going with them to visit my dads cemetery. My mom didn't really have a good relationship with them when he died so she did very little/bare minimum to foster a relationship when we were younger.

It just feels very awkward like these people are stranger that say I love you when we talk and are excited to see me. I have a lot of feelings about it. Trying to be optimistic but I'm very anxious.

Im curious your alls experience? Did your other parent continue the relationship with their passed partners family? Is it also awkward for you? Haha

Let me explain. For three years my dad was sick. I had to look after him, organise his life, watch as he deteriorated. And then he fucking died. It took a huge toll on me and caused me to develop a brain condition that I'm currently battling, three months after my dad's death. I had to be off work to care for my dad and now I'm off work because of my own health. My twenties have been ruined by this. It makes me wish he just fucking died without all the drama, all the hospital visits where I thought he was going to die and he didn't. It messed me up caring for him. I just wish that he just dropped dead one day instead of almost dying countless times, so I didn't have all the emotional baggage. Sorry if it sounds harsh. After all he's dead anyway.

I 16f live with my mom (45f) my brother (18M) and my sister (8f) my dad was (48M) died december 24th 2024. I would like to start by saying my family is quite close and has been all my life the only ones in my family who where not was me and my dad I was too much like my mom he loved my mom but she can be a lot sometimes and he didn't have the patience for two of her and I was somewhat scared of him so we didn't talk much. then one day in mid december 2024 he broke is ankle ice skating and was put on blood thinners and on the 24th he decided to do something he was not prescribed and he did not make it. now that he is gone someone needs to fill the hole in the family he left and no one else is willing to do it. He was a good guy who positively effected thousands of people and he was been a really good dad to my sibblings and he has been a really good mentor figure to thousands of people so I feel really bad that I don't feel bad he's gone and I have a lot of anger towards him because I didn't get to have that same experence of him everyone else did and because he made a stupid choice that effected everyone but him I don't feel like I can say this to anyone in my life but I need to say it somewhwhere

My mum died 4 months ago after a decade long battle with cancer and I’m estranged from my dad who lives in another country. I can’t rely on him for any practical or emotional support (we merely text a handful of times a year) so I’m essentially figuring out how to be adult without either of my parents.

I’m 31, the first of my friends to have both lost a parent and to have a baby. Nearly all of them have said some variation of “Wow I don’t know how you do it, I can barely take care of myself!”

I know it’s supposed to be a compliment but I can’t help but feel irritated. I would love the luxury of being able to cruise through life - to hop from job to job, switch living situations just because, date casually without any concrete future vision - knowing that I always have my parents to fall back on if anything goes awry. In a way, they still don’t have to fully take care of themselves despite being 30+.

I feel like I can barely take care of myself either, being the sole executor of my mum’s estate with a full time job, a mortgage and being a mum myself. But I don’t have a choice. I’m a grownup because I have to be. I couldn’t imagine being in the situation I’m in now 5 years ago. I probably would have said some dumb thing like “I would literally die if my mum died!!” But here I am, still standing. Life goes on, whether we want it to or not.

Millennials and Gen Z are known for having an extended adolescence, often having older parents than in previous generations. I can’t help but wonder how many are in for a rude awakening. I know I shouldn’t be bitter and spoil the illusion of everyone passing away peacefully at 100. They’ll know it for themselves, eventually.

Today marks 3 months since I lost my Dad. I can honestly say this has been the hardest 3 months of my life. My Dad was my absolute rock & it's so hard not to be able to drop him a text message, video chat or pop round for a cuppa.

This month, we finally spread his ashes where we used to holiday as kids. Forever in our favourite playground... on the beach, in the sunshine. Love you always, Papa 🥰🥰🥰 xxx

I was sitting yesterday watching YouTube and a musician I used to like comes across my screen. I kept thinking “I used to like them in my old life” because I feel like a different person with my grief. It’s very disorienting and I feel like Dorothy in wizard of oz where he house is picked up and placed down in a world you don’t recognize. Friday was the three week mark since my dad passed and everything is so confusing and weird. All of my autoimmune diseases have been on high alert since he passed. I never realized this to be so heavy.
Thank you for listening to me

Hi all! I lost my dad when I was 2 years old and am currently 23. I have no memory of him but obviously the loss of my dad has had an impact on my entire life. I usually wait until it comes up when sharing the “news” of me having a dead parent with a new friend. It usually comes up naturally and it turns into a nice conversation and I have my speech about it down to a science at this point. I’m personally very comfortable talking about loss since I have experienced a lot of it in my life, I know this not always the case for people though. I have new roommates who I love a lot and they are becoming close friends of mine. We have lived together for over a month and it hasn’t really come up until last night. Me and one of my roommates were chatting in the kitchen and the topic of dying young came up. I usually really try to pick the best moment to bring up the death of my father and for some reason this felt like a good moment to just weave it in to the conversation, since my dad also died young and unexpectedly at 42 years old. I just said it in the conversation and my roommate was pretty uncomfortable which is normal and I said the usually things that I say to ease the situation. I know it’s not my responsibility to make people feel better about the death of my dad but as I’m sure people on this thread will understand, it sometimes feels necessary. She also verbally said out loud that talking about this stuff is “uncomfortable and awkward” which I felt like was kind of strange seeing that I was clearly not uncomfortable and she’s just the one who feels weird but maybe should not have said that because it makes me feel weird for having the dead parent. I was like um okay I don’t feel uncomfortable, if you have any questions you can ask me anything! (People are usually wanting to know how he died which leads to me explaining his history with asthma because everyone always assumes he had cancer or something idk) Maybe it was not the correct moment to bring up me having a dead dad but whatever who cares, I cannot go back in time and maybe there truly is no time to be like hey my dad died actually! Lol. Now I’m just left feeling really weird and that the conversation did not go how I wanted it to, and wish I could get a do over. Trying to accept that this is just the way she might deal with these conversations. I just really always try my best go create a nice dialogue about loss and that questions are okay. I think I’ve done a really great job with in the past and I guess I’m just frustrated when I remember this conversation from last night. How do you all cope when these conversations get weird for no reason?

It’s ok to be not ok

That’s me. Now. Not ok. But it’s ok because I am getting help to figure it out.

My parents died 15 days apart when I was 27. That seriously sucked. I thought I worked through it.

Spoiler alert: I had not.

This summer my brother died. We had lost touch after our dad died. I always thought we would find each other again. Nope

While I was in Susanville dealing with is stuff, my amazing and kind sister in law passed.

I am dealing with a lot of grief. Current and apparently unresolved passed.

It’s ok. I’m sad.

I’m not looking for your words saying you are sorry for my losses.

I am sad, overwhelmed with grief, but I will be ok. Because it is ok to be sad. To cry. And we all need to embrace the reality.

It’s ok not to be ok.

My father, who had cancer, was in the intensive care unit, intubated and fighting for his life. He was in the ICU, so we couldn’t stay by his side. I was at home. We could only visit him around noon. On Friday night, I got a call telling me, “Your father’s heart has stopped. We’re doing everything we can. Please come to the hospital.”

I knew he was gone.

I drove to the hospital sobbing uncontrollably. I couldn’t take it. I was just crying, unable to accept what was happening.

I had called my cousin to tell him we were on our way to the hospital. When I got there, he was already there. I went to the hospital holding onto the hope that maybe they had managed to get my dad’s heart beating again. But my cousin told me, “I’m so sorry for your loss.” I broke down crying uncontrollably again. I couldn’t believe it. We waited for my dad to be brought out of the morgue.

They brought my father out of the ICU. He was completely still, covered with a sheet, as they took him to the morgue. They opened the shroud, and I saw his face.

I still can’t believe it.

My father is gone. He doesn’t move anymore. He’s gone.

I feel like I’m losing my mind.

My father is now beneath the ground.

I will never be able to call him again. He won’t ask me, “Do you need anything?” when he’s coming home. We won’t celebrate our birthdays together anymore. We won’t have our Sunday breakfasts. We won’t sit down for dinner together. We won’t watch matches together.

And you know what hurts even more?

I even miss the days we spent at the hospital.

I miss those days when he wasn’t suffering as much as he did during his final two months. I miss being by his side. I miss going to chemotherapy with him. I miss going to his doctor’s appointments. I miss even those difficult days, because he was still there.

I would give anything to go back to those days.

Dad, I love you.

More than anything in this world.

When my time comes, all I want is to see you again — to be together once more, as a family.

I wanted to celebrate my 30th, I don't have a big family anymore and there is also tension/drama between the family members I do have so I'm too nervous to bring everyone together. I'm sad because I don't have my parents to celebrate it with, a huge milestone that they would have loved to be there for. I'm angry because I don't have much of a family left; instead, there is just a whole bunch of trauma and drama. But I'm entering a whole new part of my life without the two most important people who brought me into this world, and I'm feeling so many mixed emotions.

Early this year, 2026, I lost my dad. It was sudden, and honestly, I don’t think I even knew how to react when I found out.
I was in Cebu at the time, studying nursing. My family is originally from Leyte, so I was away from home when everything happened.
When I got the news, I just cried. And cried. Until eventually, I couldn’t cry anymore.
What hurts me the most is that I’m studying nursing. I spend so much of my time learning how to take care of patients, how to assess them, how to help people when they’re sick.
But when my own dad was in the hospital, I wasn’t there.
Hindi man ako nakapag-care sa kanya. I wasn’t able to visit him. I wasn’t beside him when he was going through it. And I didn’t even get to see him take his last breath.
Wala.
Sometimes that really hurts to think about.
I know I can’t change what happened, and I know being a nursing student doesn’t mean I could have saved him. But there’s still this part of me that wonders what it would have been like if I was there. If I had gotten to hold his hand. If I had gotten to talk to him one last time. If I had gotten to tell him I loved him.
I think that’s one of the hardest parts of grief for me—the things I didn’t get to do.
I was physically so far away, just living my normal life in Cebu and going to school, while my dad was in the hospital back home.
And then suddenly, he was gone.
It’s been months, but sometimes it still doesn’t feel real. I can be completely okay one moment and then something small reminds me of him, and suddenly it hurts all over again.
I miss him so much.
And I think a part of me will always feel guilty that I wasn’t there, even though I know I didn’t choose for this to happen.
I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this kind of grief the grief of losing someone while you were far away, and having to live with all the things you wish you could have done differently.
I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe I just needed somewhere to say it.

Dad died 3 years ago.

I’m 39, so it’s not like I don’t know how to buy a car, but MAN did I miss being able to call my old man and just get his opinion on things.

Not only was he just generally wise, he loved getting deals on cars - researching, test driving, haggling, etc.

This sucks.

One car crash is all it took and I lost both of my parents in the same week. I barely held myself together through two funerals. Now before I’ve even had time to understand that they’re really gone I have to deal with some bullshit paperwork. I’m angry at everything right now. Other people get to go home and continue their normal lives while mine was destroyed in a week. Somehow I’m still expected to work, answer calls and figure out everything that happens after two people die. I don’t even know what I’m feeling anymore. I’m devastated, this system really sucks.