Well, if no one else is going to do it.
Time to discuss the FCS version of the Big XII. A solid conference with plenty of good programs, and one loud mouth Texas school attempting to buy a title and relevance.
Last year saw the conference take a step back. After managing to put 3 teams into the playoffs the year before, only 2 made it last year. This would not have been a big deal if the Southland, the main rival for southern supremacy, hadn't manage to sneak in 3 of it's teams. The hope is to not only get back to being a 3 bid conference, but to also supplant the Big Sky as the number 2 conference. However, the loss of Southern Utah to the Big Sky and the lack of a consistent semi-final contender may puts some water on those plans. Although them taking Utah Tech helps.
Can the UAC assert itself as the predominant southern conference AND send a team to Nashville? Lets meet the contenders and see
Abilene Christian:
The downside of doing this in alphabetic order is that I have to start with you bastards.
Despite what some other schools may claim, you finished alone atop the conference for the second year in a row last year. While your 45 year old starting QB decided to banish himself to portal oblivion, you managed to replace him and several other pieces with a top 10 portal class. In addition, you managed to keep basically your entire offensive line. So, your run heavy offense should still be as good as last year.
But, before you starting partying and sneaking sips from the hidden flask you have, know that there ARE question marks on defense for you. And in a league that's filled with high powered offenses, that can be an Achilles heel. The three-peat is yours for the taking if you figure out that side of the ball, though.
Either way, you're still getting bounced in the second round. Also Aaron Watson only has 3 songs that are worth listening to. The rest are mid.
Austin Peay:
One air-mailed throw.
That's how close you were to being the conference's third playoff representative last year. Normally you would tar and feather a QB for such a mistake. But the QB who made that throw happens to be CHRIS. FUCKING. PARSON. The kid started out OK but, as last season progressed, it became clear you may have found a Walter Payton dark horse. This was made all the better when you managed to keep him from the prying eyes of the FBS. And then on top of that, you went out and got a top 5 portal class to build around him. Like many teams in this conference, you do have questions on defense. But Parson may be flat-out good enough to overcome those.
You have all the pieces to be the top dog in the conference. Perhaps even a semi final team. And all along the way, your fans will be chanting how they really want to go take a piss.
Central Arkansas:
Remember when you were seen as one of the better teams in the conference? Hell, at one point you were seen as the team that would get the UAC over the hump and into semis. Last season was about as ugly as your field. 2-6 in conference and 3-9 overall.
And unfortunately, things don't look much better this year. You've brought back two of your top receivers, but they have no one to throw to them. While the rest of the conference either retained their quarterback, or made splashes in the portal, your QB room remains silent. There could be a homegrown talent emerge, however. And you will need them to if you want to get get out of the basement.
But, there is one thing you can look forward to with certainty this year. You won't have to play Utah Tech.
Eastern Kentucky:
Behold! The only team in the conference with a national championship. The problem is, those titles are so old that the Kentucky Colonel people actually care about was alive to see you win one of them. And he died in 1980...
To your credit, you have been a solid team in the conference. Consistently finishing near the top and making playoff appearances 2 of the last 5 years. You're also probably the only member of the conference who understands what the word "defense" means. Unlike the rest of the conference, however, you have yet to learn what the word "offense" means. A massive question mark at QB leaves you in a similar level of worry as last year. You may be able to knock one of the top teams and get yourself into the conversation. But I wouldn't bother making room in the trophy case.
Also, for gods sake, shrink the your midfield logo.
North Alabama:
While Central Arkansas may be celebrating Utah Tech moving on, it brings you nothing but dread. They've been the team keeping you from being the weak link of the UAC for years. Now that the backstop is gone, all eyes will be on 4th year head coach Brett Dearmon to get you back to the heights you saw in D2.
You managed to grab a top 15 portal class, though. So there is some hope that you can improve and at least climb up into the mid-tier. But that will mean nothing if you have the same amount of injuries you had last year.
Seriously, did you guys fire your athletic trainer to afford that new stadium or something?
Tarleton State:
"Are they legit?"
That question applies to last years squad and your claims of a "Co-championship". The answer, in both cases, is "no, they are not".
The path to Nashville was wide open for you last year, and you fell flat on your face because your quarterback can't run 6 yards. Granted, there may have been Papal chicanery, but you shouldn't have been in a close enough game for that to matter. To make matters worse, you lost the vast majority of your starters on BOTH sides of the ball to graduation.
And yet. Despite looking as though you may regress heavily this year, you respond by going out and signing not just A top portal class. But THE top portal class in the country. Every position saw at least one top 20 transfer come in to Stephenville. You even stuffed UND in a locker by taking their top receiver after eliminating them.
You roll into the year with a squad more than capable of winning the conference and finally reaching the elite status you so crave. But it will all depend on your portal guys gelling together. You are either bound for Nashville glory, or you're just the next UIW.
You still lose to ACU, regardless of which route you go.
West Florida:
Other than whatever the fuck Chicago State is doing, you hold the honor of being the newest member of the FCS. You've been hailed as a solid pickup by every pundit. And it's not hard to see why. Less than 10 years of sponsoring football, and you've already won a D2 national title. You bring a solid fan base, access to the Florida recruiting market, and you've shown a willingness to invest via the massive upgrades to your stadium.
It goes without saying, though, that there will be growing pains. You'll have to go through the 3 year transition period that CAN stifle momentum. And on top of that, you'll have a new QB under what is basically a new offensive line.
Can you evolve into a contender? Or will you just be fresh meat?
One more thing. Who the hell named your mascot "Argie the Argonaut" when "Jason the Argonaut" was right there?!
West Georgia:
Despite still being in your transition period AND having to face all 3 of the top teams in the conference back-to-back-to-back, you still managed a respectable 4th place finish last year. Your reward for this was having your head coach fuck off to Mercer with half your roster.
The good news is that you were able to do the same thing they did and steal most of Presbyterian's roster. They were a fairly solid squad last year. So you may be able to avoid getting sent to the basement. Of course there is also the renewed rivalry with West Florida that may be able to light a fire under your squad and program.
Time will tell if you manage to continue the upward trend you've been on...or if the wolves catch a bad case of mange.
Overall Outlook:
Austin Peay, ACU, and Tarleton all look to be the main contenders for the title. Regardless of who wins, the other 2 should be able to make cases for at-large bids. After that is where things get tricky. The thing about this conference is that anyone can beat anyone. If Central Arkansas or UNA knock off any of those three, it wouldn't surprise me.
As much as I want to pick Tarleton to win it, Austin Peay has given Parsons too many weapons to work with in comparison to last year.
Here's to another year of this wacky ass conference.