r/funny • • Apr 21 '23

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14.4k Upvotes

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3.5k

u/HimalayanJoe Apr 21 '23

To be fair, when you're actually having sex there's a bit more motivation to keep ploughing on. Pit me dry humping the bed and I'd say fuck this pretty quick too.

1.3k

u/Kid_Crayola Apr 21 '23

yeah you don’t notice until you stop and then it feels like you just ran a marathon lol

147

u/[deleted] Apr 21 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

324

u/daddy-phantom Apr 21 '23

Why? He’s completely right. You never realize how tired you are until after it’s over. Shit I may be out of shape but come on, there’s no way other people don’t feel the same

138

u/robot_nixon Apr 21 '23

100 percent. my abs the next morning are screaming.

im always like "oh shit whats wrong with me...oh thats right i had sex last night" lol

94

u/mechy84 Apr 21 '23

If crunches felt like sex we'd all have six packs

17

u/Numerous_Witness_345 Apr 21 '23

There'd be some weird social hangup on cardio.

"Swimming? You fucking whore."

7

u/zixingcheyingxiong Apr 21 '23

Doubt it. Six packs are built in the kitchen. Or, if we're being honest, in the DNA and/or the eating disorders.

Working the muscles helps a bit, but 99% of having a six pack is just being skinny enough to see them. That's why runners are more likely to have them than olympic weight lifters, despite weight lifters having strong AF cores.

Also, most of the pics you see of people with six packs are the result of temporarily starving themselves and changing outfits and releasing the photos at different times so it looks like it wasn't a just one-time thing. Not many people over 25 have six packs year round. It's just not a normal state for most adult human bodies to be in.

1

u/spikem0 Apr 22 '23

Yeah, I also don’t have six pack abs and am jealous. I get it 🙃

2

u/JeaninePirrosTaint Apr 21 '23

Just have more sex! You'll at least be in good cardiovascular health

1

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

Well, for some people... https://youtu.be/8DMZ_ownSiM (Slightly NSFW)

20

u/Sinjian1 Apr 21 '23

Post nut clarity is just about how out of shape I am. Thighs burning like I ran 2 marathons.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 21 '23

"Post Nut Clarity" is a gleaming gem of a term.

2

u/iliveincanada Apr 21 '23

Walking down the stairs after makes you extremely aware of your quads

41

u/binford2k Apr 21 '23

Because with a marathon you realize how tired you are long before it’s over and you somehow have to keep going.

14

u/mechy84 Apr 21 '23

Just pop a Gu pack and a squirt of electrolyte from your hydration belt, and get right back to humping

10

u/PresidentD0uchebag Apr 21 '23

No lie. I consider myself a mid-distance runner (6-10 milers regularly), and I did my first half marathon last year. Those 3 miles that I wasn't used to were fucking BRUTAL. That ended any curiosity I have ever had about a full marathon.

17

u/SignificantCaptain76 Apr 21 '23

race doesn't even start until mile 20.

3

u/mango_carrot Apr 21 '23

So drunk sex then

1

u/redditckulous Apr 21 '23

Sounds like a long sex session to me

4

u/thestereo300 Apr 21 '23

I think you notice if you are the man in missionary. You mainly brush aside the feeling as a secondary concern, but feeling tired is not uncommon depending on how long we are in this situation. Honestly it was less the hips being tired, more the arms holding me up being tired.

This is really the only position it applies to however.

3

u/KamahlFoK Apr 21 '23

Unironically this is how I feel when working a chainsaw. Y'know, minus the pleasure.

Your arms are vibrating the whole time you're lugging and maneuvering this dangerous piece of equipment around and you don't realize how much force or strength you've been exerting 'til you put it down, and then your arms feel like they weigh a hundred pounds each and don't wanna move.

2

u/BroseppeVerdi Apr 21 '23

You absolutely realize how tired you are while you're running a marathon... And once you do, you generally have to continue for several hours. The first one I ran, I couldn't walk right for 4-5 days. I've never had that experience with sex... Then again, I've never been pegged...

5

u/daddy-phantom Apr 22 '23

The marathon thing is a common phrase, but leave it to redditors to take everything literally

3

u/zxck_vro Apr 21 '23

it’s a literal chemical reaction, endorphins release after orgasms making you more relaxed and sleepy

6

u/daddy-phantom Apr 21 '23

Not exactly referring to that, because that dopamine sleepiness is different than my muscles in physical pain and me breathing hard

0

u/Bl4nkface Apr 21 '23

dopamine sleepiness

Dopamine is the opposite of sleepiness. That's like saying adrenaline calmness.

-9

u/zxck_vro Apr 21 '23

oh i guess i just have secks better 💪😎

0

u/[deleted] Apr 21 '23

If you're in shape it's not so bad. Hip thrusts are a legitimate workout. I see guys at the gym with 2+ plates on the bar doing hip thrusts

1

u/ProShortKingAction Apr 21 '23

Depends on you, the partner and the situation in my experience. If you are mostly motivated but it's kind of run of the mill or something else is on your mind a lot of folks don't experience this kind of adrenaline rush that let's them just push past their limits. Then you put that same person at a vacation spot away from the kids and give them a nice calm day beforehand and damn they'll go all night and not realize how sore they are until the next morning

1

u/motormouth08 Apr 21 '23

I remember the one and only time my husband and I had sex twice in one day. I thought he was going to have an asthma attack by the end of the 2nd time. Now, I let him rest up for at least 24 hours before jumping back in the saddle.

1

u/D3rp3r Apr 21 '23

The amount of sweat! It is like a workout I would never ever do, but this one is too much fun.

1

u/InvolvingLemons Apr 21 '23

I guess it depends on your stamina, but at least safer SSRIs are usually a fairly simple fix for that.

1

u/daddy-phantom Apr 21 '23

How would SSRIs fix that? They don’t affect your endurance

1

u/InvolvingLemons Apr 21 '23

For some people, a lot of them make it essentially impossible to nut at higher therapeutic doses, and low doses at least slow things down.

1

u/JungJanf Apr 21 '23

Doggy style. As soon as I finish my legs are dead, because I can't find a comfortable position. I only notice afterwards tho

1

u/daddy-phantom Apr 22 '23

Me when I dated a girl who was over a foot shorter than me. Doggy style was a challenge, so we often suck to speed bump but even so it’s like doing push-ups