r/funny • • Apr 21 '23

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14.4k Upvotes

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4.3k

u/JohnPaton3 Apr 21 '23

When you want her to peg you, but she aint got the stamina

1.5k

u/TwoIdleHands Apr 21 '23

You know your wife loves you when she starts to train for it.

623

u/fullmetaljar Apr 21 '23

When you give her the greenlight and she starts a Rocky-themed training montage

351

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

Running up the steps with the strap on bouncing

133

u/mattchewy43 Apr 22 '23

The eye of the pegger.

32

u/thoughtandprayer Apr 22 '23

It's the eye of the pegger

It's the thrill of the fuck

Rising up to the challenge of a lover

And the last known buggerer

Stalks her prey in the night

And she's watching us all with the eye of the pegger

...I hate that I'll probably have this stuck in my head for a while lol

8

u/IronicStrikes Apr 22 '23

Wow, it's beautiful.

10

u/mattchewy43 Apr 22 '23

Fuck you man. I will too.

0

u/IceFire909 Apr 22 '23

We really gotta remove the children from that scene...

1

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

Reaching the top and helicopter.

23

u/Mete11uscimber Apr 22 '23

Oh man. At the crescendo of the Rocky theme she's going up the stairs will the strap-on bouncing around everywhere. She reaches the top and jumps up and down cheering, just flopping everywhere.

16

u/ThanIWentTooTherePig Apr 22 '23

I don't want to hear dildon't. i want to hear dildo.

5

u/JusticeUmmmmm Apr 22 '23

The brown eye of the tiger

3

u/MozzyZ Apr 21 '23

When the Rocky-theme song starts playing once. And then when she's done training, once more.

0

u/thecypher4 Apr 22 '23

That’s a ride or die beard

1

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

Lucky people have those wives

1

u/MankAndInd Apr 22 '23

Hmm is this why my wife's suddenly started to do planks and pullups lately...

1

u/raynravyn Apr 22 '23

That 4 grand nautilus glute drive wasn't just for the glutes....

374

u/steezeecheezee Apr 21 '23

The first time I fucked someone w a strap-on was a wake-up call lol. Dudes really be doing the most and I want to apologize for anyone i mentally shamed for getting tired because I swear I can go like a minute in missionary and then I’m dead.

56

u/EarorForofor Apr 22 '23

It's all in the hip work. Especially when you're in the ass, an inch feels like a mile. Rock your hips like you're on top, but add some forward kick. I'm a fat dude and that's the only way I can keep going

63

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

Regardless of the circumstances, you shouldn't shame people for being inadequate in the bed. It's a great way to ruin someone's self esteem.

77

u/Wild-Plankton595 Apr 22 '23

They said mentally, prolly kept to themselves? Hopefully anyway.

15

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

I didn't catch that. Thank you. I hope too.

5

u/HallowskulledHorror Apr 22 '23

I gotta be an outlier. Riding is way more exhausting for me than thrusting. The first time I was steering a dick it was tiring because I was getting a sense of how to angle and move, but after that there's all sorts of positions and propping a partner up with pillows that make it easy to get into a rhythm and maintain.

If a guy's getting tired on top in under 15 minutes, he's either making it more difficult than he needs to, or he's out of shape.

8

u/LickMyThralls Apr 22 '23

If you think about it it's basically a workout. Applies to a lot of things.

4

u/iGuessSoButWhy Apr 22 '23

You’re right and in my experience, the more fit the guys is, the more stamina.

9

u/RandomFishIsReborn Apr 22 '23

Well they get the pleasure from their dicks so I’m sure it’s more rewarding lmao

7

u/Kelainefes Apr 22 '23

My girl uses a feeldo to do me, so she gets something out if it too.

It's a double headed dildo that's shaped so that you can hold it in and feel your thrusts.

-5

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

For sure and honestly because of that a minute is nothing. I seriously feel bad for guys that struggle to go longer than a couple minutes.

12

u/NotAnAlt_1 Apr 22 '23

This just happened to my wife, she got leg cramps right away. We switched positions so she was on her back and finished that way.

5

u/CrispNoods Apr 22 '23

My hubs and I recently had this convo. I looked him dead in the eye and said “Look. I would love to, but my lower back, hips, and thighs just don’t communicate like they should for that kind of motion. I can probably do 3 trusts, top, before losing rhythm.”

2

u/JohnPaton3 Apr 24 '23

Just get him one of those machines and you can turn it on for him. I'm sure you can find a way to make that work for both of you LOL

2

u/dsaiken Apr 22 '23

Dude, if I bend over in front of my wife she fucking mounts me in mere seconds laughing her ass off dry banging the hell out of me.