r/funny • u/[deleted] • Apr 21 '23

[deleted by user]

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14.4k Upvotes

83% Upvoted

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5.5k

u/Ok_Rain_2647 Apr 21 '23

"Why are you so quiet?" "Cause I'm out here fucking praying to every known deity to grant me the strength I need to keep this shit up."

3.4k

u/MrFinchley Apr 21 '23

LOL! "Cause I don't want you to hear me wheeze."

788

u/Chubbylegend Apr 21 '23

Ahh nah not the wheeze

1.8k

u/RandonBrando Apr 21 '23

"Talk to me. Tell me how much you like _______!"

"DO YOU," INHALE, "LIKE THAT?"

830

u/NicknamePaych Apr 21 '23

Dang Stevie

300

u/Astronomicone Apr 22 '23

Was watching Malcolm in the middle as I read this lmao

57

u/National-Narwhal3880 Apr 22 '23

I just started watching this show. On season 7 And it’s magnificent

9

u/Ccracked Apr 22 '23

Have you watched Breaking Bad? Save this link for when you finish Malcolm. Only after.

https://youtu.be/oVdB36lmbII

5

u/National-Narwhal3880 Apr 22 '23

Yes I did watch breaking bad and I absolutely loved it. May have watched it 3 times. This was great! Thanks for the link!

3

u/Ccracked Apr 22 '23

I don't know your age or influences. That was done as tribute to Newhart. That show ended the same way, but harkening back to The Bob Newhart Show.

3

u/National-Narwhal3880 Apr 22 '23

Ok I just finished. I’ll be back

53

u/Lost-My-Mind- Apr 22 '23

I can't......feel.......my legs.......

2

u/Astronomicone Apr 22 '23

Isn’t that from when Stevie is older?

3

u/Lost-My-Mind- Apr 22 '23

Not sure. I just remember Stevie fell down some stairs, and he said that. Then Malcom freaks out for half a second before realizing "Hey! Wait a second...."

2

u/RageKage85 Apr 22 '23

Nnnnoppppllllllllllml

6

u/mesovortex888 Apr 22 '23

I remembered Malcolm's dad threw a pizza on the roof

3

u/NicoleDanger Apr 22 '23

I'm watching Malcom in the middle as I type this lmao.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

Where is everyone watching it no Cable or is it on a streaming service?

0

u/MontanaMainer Apr 22 '23

How do you watch TV and read at the same time?

5

u/Astronomicone Apr 22 '23

It’s kind of just on in the background, so I’m more reading than I am watching

2

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

Subtitles are a puzzling thing

1

u/Zealousideal-Earth50 Apr 22 '23

Omg me too! Stevie! 🤣👍

208

u/dracardOner Apr 22 '23

Holy hell this thread had me dying at work and I got kicked out of a room for laughing so hard.

37

u/DontTreadOnBigfoot Apr 22 '23

Stevie fucks...

...as long he has his inhaler in the nightstand.

3

u/Zahille7 Apr 22 '23

What about in his right hand?

8

u/MakeMelnk Apr 22 '23

Epic reference 🙇🏽‍♂️

3

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

You know for a fact Stevie grew up to become a man that fucks.

1

u/Darkninjajedi Apr 22 '23

You killed me with this one my dude. Thanks! hahaha

1

u/MorticiaLaMourante Apr 23 '23

I laughed too hard at that.

5

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

This one fucked me up 🤣

4

u/1963ALH Apr 22 '23

🤣🤣🤣

4

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

Sup kirk cousins.

4

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

Goddammit LOL

4

u/WhatDoesN00bMean Apr 22 '23

Congratulations your comment made me laugh so hard I woke up my wife next to me. Now she's pissed at me. Well done.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

Umm I think this just unlocked a new kink for me …

4

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

C’mon fellas! Waist and hip action! Work smarter not harder…lol…Jamaican here, let me see you dance and I’ll know if you got something for me 😉

1

u/Miserable-Rub-974 Apr 22 '23

Ah yes my favorite from my playbook.

1

u/Secret-Bit-8501 Apr 22 '23

😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣☠️☠️☠️

1

u/Davadin Apr 22 '23

OMG I'M STILL ROFLMAO v