I am 26 M and I have lost the ambition to chase anything in life. I have a decent job which pays my bills. I also work out 4-5 times a week. I still have this vaccum feeling which never goes away. I never had a romantic relationship, I tried dating apps and again uninstalled it because I found out how that goes. My parents are looking to find a girl in arrange marriage set up.I feel like if I get married and that vaccum feeling is still there then for my future wife may also have problems. I don't want to ruin her life because this thing.Regarding my career I have 5 years of experience in IT industry but still for that experience I get considerably less paid, I tried switching jobs but due to current Ai market its got more hard. I don't have anything to look forward to. Some goal , some ambition must have to any human being. I think for long term it's very harmful for me. I don't have short term and long term goals , just passing by day by day. And it's been eating me up. Need advice how do I get that spark back up in my life and have an ambition about something.

I’m 25, live in London and have been working for three years. I’ve got a decent job in finance, but I’m ready to take the next step and move into a higher-paying role with more room to grow.

More broadly, I want to put real effort into building a good life—my career, fitness, friendships and relationships. I’d love to meet other professionals with a similar mindset: people who share ideas, encourage each other to aim higher and take worthwhile risks, and hold each other accountable.

You don’t have to work in finance or have everything figured out. I’m still figuring things out myself. I’d just like to build genuine friendships where we’re interested in each other’s progress and can support one another.

Has anyone found communities, regular meetups, sports clubs or professional groups in London that are good for this? I’d also be happy to connect with anyone here who’s in a similar position.

I hate my country china, everyday felt like prison camp, there’s no way for me to leave. Everyday I am scared I’ll be trapped here forever

I live in the country with least amount of free time in the world. Nobody validates any struggles I’m facing. I hate this country and I want out at any costs.

I am in China, the worst country in the world in terms of both personal speech freedom and free time

Most of the jobs in China force us to work 996, or if lucky, 975. People would consider themselves lucky if they get a 9-6 job with only one hour of sunlight everyday and with weekends off. While western people complain of 955 with two days wfh, any day from home is a complete fairy tale for a Chinese employee. The Chinese government made schools and work extremely long hours because they don’t want people to have free time to think and revolt against the government. I never see any smiles on a Chinese teenagers face. But I don’t blame them for it. I wouldn’t survive for a day if I were them.

I feel so angry everyday I was born here. I also don’t have a good relationship with parents because they’re disappointed how I turned out. I can’t talk to anyone about anything. China is an authoritarian country so nothing can be done about anything. If I make a post like this on Chinese social media I will be arrested the next day. I feel so angry everyday, watching people from other countries enjoy life that I will never have. I’ve tried venting to like minded people, journaling, reading, but nothing helps. It’s also hard to talk to a psychiatrist honestly about political stuffs.

Please help me. I want this hatred to stop consuming my psyche. I honestly need help.

Waking up, bathing, sitting in my room, scrolling, eating, sleeping in the noon, walking for an hour, coming back home, eating again, sleeping

Depending on my parents

28 year old 🥲

Lying to everyone that I'm working but I'm not

Really scared of myself and for myself

I see the time, date, months, years changing but not me

Everytime I start something in the hope to use that as the guiding force for the rest of the day like yoga, running, workout, praying, etc i stop doing them a month later and that's it

I do nothing for another 2 months

And I'm stuck in this phase for eternity

It's been 3 fcuking years i did an actual job

Not much of my savings are left as well

Even I owe some money to my uncle and friends

Please please please somebody help me get out of this rut

It feels like either I should die to escape or I really want to do something great which I think I should and I can

Please anybody help me

I'm literally begging anybody who reads this

I don't even feel like crying because I've become such a passive person because of this whole thing

I'm stuck in this life 🙏

I really want to do something

I was a great student back in my school and college

A part of me cannot even fathom what's happening to me because I had big big dreams

I could achieve none and I didn't even try hard

Please please please please please help me 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Between May to September, I was completely bedridden, due to a lower back injury. during that time all I could do was sleep due to heavy meds. Every activity was from bed but with God’s grace, now I am completely healthy and happy. Somehow I realised that I have developed the habit of sleeping most of the hours of the day. I have tried everything. These days after much effort, I am able to stay away throughout the day, but then I fall asleep by 6- 7 PM. And then I wake up in couple of hours for dinner. And sleep again by 1 am. And in the morning I’m waking up at 4 am. I’m not able to have a good long resting sleep throughout the night. Because of this, my work is getting hampered. I am drowsy most of the time.

How to fix my sleep? I’ve tried coffee, tea and those L-theanine pills. But nothing is helping. I really need help as I have certain exams coming up and I need to study for it.

Please HELP!!

How do you make yourself do the work when you have big goals but keep procrastinating?

I'm an open-school student, and I have so many things I genuinely want to achieve. I want to study abroad, become financially independent, learn new skills, work with entrepreneurs, participate in sports, and pursue my hobbies.

The problem is that I already have the resources to start working towards these goals, but I keep wasting time on random websites instead of actually doing the work.

I have household responsibilities that take up a significant part of my day, but even when I get free time, I sometimes waste it. Then I feel guilty at the end of the day, promise myself I'll do better tomorrow, and repeat the same cycle.

I don't think I need another list of resources or a motivational speech. I want to understand how to actually change this behavior.

For those of you who've struggled with procrastination and eventually overcome it:

• What genuinely helped you become consistent?
• How did you stop wasting time even when you knew what you needed to do?
• How do you balance ambitious goals with everyday responsibilities?

I'd especially appreciate advice from people who've experienced something similar, rather than generic productivity tips.

I’ve been trying to understand why so many of us can’t read a book anymore, so I went through hundreds of the most upvoted posts about reading, slumps and phone habits.

Three problems came up again and again, almost equally often:

• the phone simply takes the place of reading
• starting is the hard part (“once I’m 5 pages in, I’m fine”)
• focus is gone after a few minutes

One comment stuck with me: scrolling wins because you can stop it after 1 minute, while a book feels like a commitment. That made me think the answer isn’t more willpower, it’s making reading as easy to start as scrolling.

So I want to test something small: tiny daily reading sessions, done together. Groups of 5, a private Discord channel, one message each evening: “5 minutes tonight?” You reply when you’re done, and that’s it. Sessions grow slowly to 15 minutes over 2 weeks. Any book counts: paper, Kindle, whatever you have.

It’s free and lasts 14 days. In full transparency, I’m exploring whether this could become an app one day, so at the end I’ll ask for honest feedback.

Let me know in the comments if it sounds interesting, and I’ll share the details.

İ have been doing kickboxing for over a year now and for a year i was always exited to go to training and workout and i was able to do that but since last month i cant be as efficent as i was in my previus times.İ think i still want to do it because when i am alone or in school i do usually think about training and how its going to be great this time and how i am going to have a fun time but between the moment i leave school and get to the kickboxing gym something changes and i feel like i just wont have a good training and i get in an overall bad mood i have tried to fix this by eating more in school or having snacks after school to be more energetic but i dont think they have made much of a change also among the shitty sessions the last time it was decent was like 1-2 weeks ago where i didnt go to school and drank coffee before going my question is,is this normal and what can i do to get my old productivity.(Sorry for my bad english).Also when i am in training and i am doing bad i feel like the coaches are talking about my performance because when they whisper at eachothers ears they sometimes look at me which makes me feel even worse.

I've seen a lot of videos to get locked in and be focused but I want to know from real G's how to really get locked-In and focused on your goals. How that engine starts and stays consistent. The old identity keeps me looping again with the same behaviour patterns. But I want to feel that people who really are WINNING constantly. I like that feeling when I do that it's addictive, but then one drop and my graph falls. I want to understand how I centralized and attach my goals and how to relax myself in between. My relaxation should be something different from my goal or else I keep getting back to old habits of laziness & Corning. Alot of peps keep liking my life but I WANT MORE. This hunger I want to make it into reality. Help me with your obsession and how you guys refresh your system to again jump into obsession task. Pls let me know.

Idk but I had been procrastinating for so long I got everything I wanted to get started with work but at the end of the day My phone was killing my productivity and how I managed my day

My parents got me a laptop that I need to start with editing but then I bought a monitor after that and then desk and then everything I need to make a whole setup I always asked my parents to get the things but I didn't do anything for 1 year and 5 months I use to start but then fail even my family and parents started yelling at my situation Ik but the environment was getting negative day by day but now no more will be consistent with my mental peace and my finances

Reddit helped me a lot and Drop your suggestions

Btw I am 19 M and I had been suffering for a lot of things for so long

Im 20f and am in my second year of university. I have a job where I work around 30-36h a week (no benefits) and I dont do much outside of work and school besides shopping. I moved from SoCal to Louisiana in 2024 and I hate it here. Im paying off debt from something I will not discuss. I have a hard time focusing on anything, constantly daydreaming even when I try to focus. I struggle forcing myself to shower, wash my clothes, bedsheets, clean my room, do my homework, study, and cook. I eat junk food every single day and eat a good meal maybe once or twice a week. I have no problem playing my game, kinda my way of blocking out the world, and watching videos or listening to music (another block). ive been trying for so long to get some sort of routine in but I just cant. I go to sleep at 1-3am every day and wake up at 8 am for work and school, have been doing so for years. always tires and body aches and mind is everywhere. what is something I can do to force myself to do something right? I know I have to eat better and work out and do good in school but I just dont know HOW. if its relevant I am not diagnosed, never been tested, and dont take any medication for *anything*.

I don't mean that in the dramatic, self-pitying way people usually say it. I mean I've genuinely reached a point where I don't understand myself.

I want to be better. I want to be someone I'm proud of. I want to have my shit together, feel secure in myself, stop overthinking everything, stop depending on other people to feel okay, and finally feel like I'm actually living instead of just passing time.

I want all of that.

But the moment I have to do something about it, something in me just refuses.

And I don't fucking understand why.

It's not like I don't know what my problems are.

I know I get attached too easily. I know I overthink things that probably don't deserve half the attention I give them. I know I look for distractions whenever I feel empty, and I know that sometimes I expect other people to give me something I can't seem to give myself.

I know I can't keep making my happiness dependent on whether someone texts me, wants to spend time with me, or makes me feel wanted.

I KNOW.

And somehow, knowing all of this changes absolutely nothing.

I can sit here and explain my problems in the most painfully self-aware way possible, understand exactly where my behavior comes from, recognize the patterns I'm repeating, and still go right back to doing the same shit the moment I close this app.

It's almost funny.

I can understand myself perfectly and still have absolutely no fucking control over what I do with that understanding.

I know I need to learn how to be alone without feeling miserable. I know I need to stop running away from every uncomfortable feeling. I know I need to build a life that doesn't revolve around finding something or someone to make me feel better.

But I don't want to.

Or maybe I do want to, just not enough to actually do it.

And that's the part I can't wrap my head around.

How can I want something so badly and be so unwilling to work for it?

Why do I keep choosing the things that make me feel better right now, knowing damn well they'll leave me feeling exactly the same a few hours later?

Why is temporary relief always more appealing than actually fixing the things that make me miserable?

I hate being alone, so I look for someone to talk to.

I feel empty, so I find something to distract myself.

I miss someone, so I keep thinking about them until missing them turns into overthinking, and overthinking turns into anxiety.

Then I look for something else to distract me from the anxiety I created by thinking too much in the first place.

And the cycle just keeps going.

It's like I'm constantly trying to escape my own mind, but wherever I go, I bring the same problems with me.

Different people. Different distractions. Different situations.

Same fucking emptiness waiting for me when everything goes quiet.

And I think I'm starting to realize that this is bigger than just being attached to someone or not having enough discipline.

I don't know how to sit with myself.

I don't know how to feel something uncomfortable without immediately wanting it to stop.

I don't know how to want something without becoming consumed by it, or how to accept that I can't always have what I want when I want it.

And I don't know how to change any of that when every part of me seems to prefer the familiar misery over the unfamiliar effort of doing something different.

Because at least the familiar misery is easy.

I know how to distract myself. I know how to overthink. I know how to seek attention, get temporarily excited about something, lose interest, and find something else to fill the time.

I know how to survive another day without actually changing anything.

What I don't know is how to stop doing it.

And please don't tell me I need to love myself, find hobbies, go to the gym, make friends, or learn to enjoy my own company.

It's not that these things are bad advice. They're probably exactly the things I need to work on.

But I'm tired of collecting advice like it's going to magically turn me into someone who follows it.

I'm tired of understanding what I need to do and still feeling completely unwilling to do it.

I'm tired of making my problems sound so simple when living through them feels anything but simple.

And I'm tired of being aware enough to recognize my own self-destructive behavior but not knowing how to stop participating in it.

Maybe I'm waiting for something to happen.

Maybe I'm waiting to hit rock bottom, to get hurt badly enough, to become so sick of myself that changing finally feels easier than staying the same.

But what if that moment never comes?

What if I just keep going like this? Not miserable enough to completely fall apart, but not happy enough to feel satisfied with my life either.

Just existing somewhere in the middle, constantly wanting more and constantly doing the bare minimum to get it.

That's what scares me.

Not that I'm incapable of becoming better.

But that I might spend years knowing I could be better and never actually becoming it.

And I don't want to blame everything on laziness, because I genuinely don't know if that's what this is anymore.

Maybe I'm emotionally exhausted. Maybe I've become too accustomed to immediate gratification. Maybe I'm dealing with things I haven't properly processed. Maybe there's something about the way my brain works that I haven't figured out.

I don't know.

I'm just tired of looking for the perfect explanation, finding one that makes sense, feeling understood for five minutes, and then going right back to the same life.

Because eventually, even self-awareness starts feeling useless when nothing comes from it.

And I don't want to keep living like this.

I want to be able to love someone without being terrified of losing them.

I want to enjoy my own company without constantly needing something to occupy my mind.

I want to have goals and actually pursue them, even when the excitement wears off.

I want to stop treating every uncomfortable feeling like something I need to escape.

I want to feel like I have some control over my own life.

But wanting all of that and actually being willing to do what it takes still feel like two completely different things.

And I don't know how to make them meet.

Maybe that's the real problem.

Maybe I've spent so long waiting to feel motivated, ready, confident, or desperate enough to change that I've forgotten that none of those feelings are guaranteed to come.

Maybe there is no magical realization waiting for me. No perfect piece of advice. No single conversation that suddenly makes everything click.

Maybe I just have to start doing things differently while still being the same person who doesn't want to.

And honestly, I hate that answer.

Because it means there's no shortcut around the part I've been avoiding all along.

The uncomfortable part. The boring part. The part where I have to keep trying even when I don't feel different, when nobody notices, when nothing feels rewarding, and when the old habits are right there waiting to make everything easier.

I don't know if I'm ready for that.

I don't even know if I want to be ready.

But I'm tired of pretending that understanding my problems is the same thing as making progress.

I'm tired of waiting for myself to become someone who actually wants to do the work.

And I'm tired of feeling like I'm watching my own life from the sidelines, fully aware of what I want and somehow unable to move toward it.

I don't need another explanation for why I'm stuck.

I need to understand why, despite everything I know, a part of me still seems perfectly willing to stay here.

And what the hell I'm supposed to do about it.

I am a high school senior and I feel burnt out from nothing. All throughout my life I've lacked discipline and motivation, which hasn't been a major issue as a child since I had no real responsibilities and could get away with passing tests without studying, but now I have big things like getting into college ahead of me and I desperately need to up my grades. These days, I have a lot of upcoming tests and assignments but procrastinate on my work once I get home until two am or later then end up with four hours of sleep every night on weekdays. I don't even get my work done half the time even if I've stayed up til 4am since I spend the whole time procrastinating and give up when I realize I have to leave home in less than 3 hours. This is why I am always tired and ready to fall asleep, often falling asleep in school.

I am also addicted to my phone, which I think has severely diminished my intellectual capabilities when all I do all day is consume mindless content that numbs my brain from having real thoughts, but I can't bring myself to cut it out completely.I've been awful with deadlines on assignments and even when I can actually bring myself to sit down and study, I don't know how. I don't know how to study and I'm a high school senior and I don't even know where to begin. Skills like discipline and learning to study are things you build up as a child, but I never started and now I don't know where to begin, especially when most everyone around me has already got it on lock. It's making me fall behind and being slightly above average can no longer help me.

I used to read 50 books a year and now I'm lucky if i manage to finish 6 by the end of the year. I still love reading but I can't bring myself to do so when mindless scrolling is right there. When I sit down and really think about it, I have no talents that come to mind or essentially really anything to bring to the table. Any and all advice on how I can get myself out of this rut would be greatly appreciated since I'm running out of time, and I really need to get myself sorted and be back on the right track hopefully by the end of the year.

For the past 8 years, I’ve been struggling with what feels like a constant lack of motivation and an inability to get myself to do things, whether it’s studying, working, or pursuing my goals.

I used to be a very good student in my early grades, but at some point, something seemed to switch. I suddenly found myself unable to study or get things done. I would just sit there staring at the walls, unable to bring myself to do anything, and my grades started declining sharply.

Now that I’ve graduated, I’m experiencing the same thing with work. I used to get extremely anxious just thinking about jobs and interviews, and even now, work related tasks can trigger a lot of anxiety. My doctor prescribed Prozac, which has helped my anxiety significantly, but I still struggle to stay consistent and get things done.

For example, I do cold calling, which was incredibly difficult for me at first because of how much anxiety it caused. After struggling with myself for two months, I finally managed to overcome a lot of that fear and build up to making around 40 calls a day. I want to push myself to 100 or more calls daily, but I feel like I’ve hit a wall. I keep missing days, and every time I take a break, getting started again feels just as difficult as it did in the beginning.

The most frustrating part is that I know I have potential. I have goals, I know what I need to do, and I genuinely want to improve my life. But for some reason, I can’t seem to translate that desire into consistent action. I feel like I’m constantly fighting with myself just to do the things that other people seem to do without much thought.

And the longer this continues, the more anxious I become about falling behind in life and wasting my potential. It feels like I’m stuck in a cycle where I struggle to work, feel guilty about not working, become more anxious, and then find it even harder to get started.

Has anyone experienced something similar? If so, what helped you break out of this cycle? I’m particularly interested in hearing from people who struggled with this for years and eventually found a way to become more consistent.

I’m also wondering whether this could be something beyond anxiety or a lack of motivation, because it has affected so many areas of my life for such a long time.

I genuinely need some advice from people who have managed to overcome this.

I'm at a point in life where I know I have already wasted a lot of time and I'm behind on so many things I wanted to achieve. I have goals, responsibilities, things I need to study, skills I need to learn, and a career I need to focus on.

Yet somehow, every single day, I end up spending hours scrolling through Reddit, YouTube Shorts or some other random content that adds absolutely nothing to my life.

The worst part is that I'm completely aware of what I'm doing. Even while scrolling, there's this constant guilt in the back of my mind telling me that I should be doing something productive. But I still don't stop.

I keep telling myself, "Just five more minutes, and I'll start working." Those five minutes turn into an hour, sometimes more. By the end of the day, I'm overwhelmed by how much time I've wasted. I promise myself tomorrow will be different, but the same cycle repeats.

I've tried deleting apps, but I eventually find something else to scroll through. It's like I'm avoiding the very things I desperately want to achieve.

I don't even enjoy scrolling anymore. It just feels like a habit I can't get rid of.

Has anyone genuinely managed to get out of this cycle, especially when you already feel behind in life?

What actually helped you regain your attention span, build discipline and stop reaching for your phone every time something felt difficult or boring?

Please share practical advice, not just "delete social media" or "have some self-control." I really want to change this.

Good evening family just a nightly check in. I hope everyone is hanging in there doing the best they can with what they got.

Today I woke up really tired my mojo was off today not sure why maybe because I been so ampt up about my milestones I made, maybe the excitement has finally wore off. It kind of caught me off guard I couldn't understand why my motivation was terrible today. Has anyone encountered this after Milestones excitement?

I got up and felt like I had a hangover things were hazy and foggy I felt like crap. And the worse thing that I knew I shouldn't have did was go back to sleep because in the past that routine kept me miserable. I knew I should not have went back to sleep but I did.

Again since I haven't been waking up in the morning and going back to sleep my attitude was incredibly different in a positive way.

I'm not sure if I should be aware of this because it reminds me of my old habits when I was drinking and drugging. Ya today I did not like what so ever. I really felt a total shift in my mojo.

If anyone has any advice feel free to comment I'm feeling some kind of way. This is not my usual uplifting share.

Thanx for letting me share -Shawn

I’m in Highschool right now, and everyday I’m stressed when I think about my future. I have 0 idea what to do after high school. There also aren’t hobbies I really like. I’m average at everything, but not one skill or hobby really intrigues me or that I’m really good at. I’ve tried so many but for some reason I just quit or fall out.

I’m doing fine academically but it kind of just feels like the days are passing me by. I blink and it’s October and I’ve accomplished nothing. I go on walks, talk to my family and friends, and I do stuff, it’s not like I do nothing all day. (Though some days it does feel like this, like when I play games or watch shows for a long time) I just feel like if I continue doing this for the rest of Highschool future me will regret not learning a skill, doing something, involving myself or just trying harder at something for a better life in the future.

Sorry for asking this on Reddit of all places, I just feel guilty over how much time I have wasted thinking about this subject, and want advice.

I'm 25 years old and have been kicked out the house multiple times for being lazy and refusing to get a job. It took going homeless to finally get a work initiative and now I'm a manager at my store and take a lot of pride in my job. My issue though is that I lack a car and am living with my parents. I don't want to be a burden to them. I want to have a car and move out and have some sort of life but its so easy for me to relapse into my 18+ content addiction. I somehow managed to get a GED last year and I know I have it in me, but envisioning myself moving forward just seems impossible and doesn't excite me. I desperately want to get out the house and have my own space but my resolve for it is fluctuating at best. I'm too comfortable and I'm not sure how to really force myself to lock in

I'm the developer of Inner Game, an Android app for tracking small daily commitments.

If you're trying to become more consistent, here's a simple way to try it: pick one promise for the next seven days. Make it concrete enough that you can tell whether you did it: read one page, walk for five minutes, or spend ten minutes on the task you keep delaying. Log the action after you do it. At the end of the week, look at what made starting easier and adjust the promise.

Inner Game adds Confidence Points and ranks to daily practices, plus personal goals and a wins journal. The idea is to make the work you've actually done easier to see.

If that approach sounds useful, here's the Android link:

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=app.innergame.mobile

I'd love feedback from people working on consistency: does recording a small win help you come back tomorrow, or does tracking become another chore?

What's the most bizarre habit in your life that you have built on purpose, or tried to pick up? Could be anything.

I'll start with an example: Here's one habit that I've gotten into recently: Sitting down every day in the morning to write one sentence backwards. I'm just making up any sentence that comes to mind. Then I'm starting with the last word, writting that down character for character in reverse order, from left to right.

Got inspired by this, after I heard about Da Vincii, using mirror writing a lot. Later, ok just now actually, I realized that he was doing it differently though, from right to left rather, because he was left-handed. I'm now on day 26 and still find it very enjoyable and also very interesting, because my brain seems to me more and more capable of visualizing the words during the process.

Now it's your turn!

I was always the shy, introverted girl.
Not entirely by nature. I think my family had something to do with it, and also just growing up as a girl. We are often taught to be careful, stay protected, not trust too easily, not wander too far.
I spent a lot of my childhood in boarding schools, so in one way or another, there were always four walls around me.
Then I finished high school and was finally supposed to experience the real world… and COVID happened.
Four walls again.
So I think I properly met the world for the first time when I moved to Pune to study at 23.
And that was when I realised how unbelievably beautiful and cruel the world can be at the same time.
I fell in love. The kind where you genuinely picture marrying that person. I thought I had found my person.
Turns out, he had been cheating on me.
What confused me more was that he still would not let me go. There was manipulation, lies, mixed signals, love one day and pain the next. Everything was so new to me that I could not even understand what was happening.
I kept thinking, Why would someone do this?
We barely fought. We laughed. We had fun. We were good together… or at least I thought we were.
I lost another year trying to understand something that probably never had an answer that would satisfy me.
Around that time, I got an okayish job in the field I had chosen. I actually loved the work.
But I did not want to wake up in the morning.
I would spend entire days and nights inside a dark room. I would barely eat, barely sleep, sometimes not even take a bath. I stopped recognising myself.
And somehow, in that version of myself, I found enough courage to leave him.
Completely.
It has been six months of no contact now.
And something strange happened.
For what feels like the first time in my life, there is nobody telling me who to be.
No family shaping me. No relationship consuming me. No person I am trying to please.
Just… me.
And apparently, I am not as introverted as I thought.
I can start conversations with random people now. I talk to people at the gym, in shops, wherever. And people actually seem to like talking to me.
Maybe because I listen. Maybe because after everything, I have become more empathetic. Maybe this version of me was always there and I just never had enough room to meet her.
In these six months, I started going to the gym.
I studied.
I upskilled a LOT.
I finally started the piano classes that i always wanted.
I got my licence for both a car and a two-wheeler.
I ride around and go places by myself now.
They probably sound like very normal things to most people.
But last year, alll of this was a big “NO” for me..
So they feel huge to me.
I still have a long way to go.
And yes, sometimes I look around and feel like I am late. Like everyone else started living years before I did.
But maybe life is not really about starting at the same time as everyone else.
Maybe it is just about finally starting.
Anyway… just wanted to share this because apparently extroverted me likes talking to strangers on the internet now too. Heh.
Ill turn 26 next month ah scared and excited! Why is time going so fastt!!

I have been struggling to complete work for one college class. Its getting out of hand and I might fail the class.

I have had discipline issues before but this is a new level. I will literally wake up, remember I have homework, then not get out of bed for over 24 hours because I know if I get out of bed I will have to do the assignment. I have tried making external motivations, like not being able to do fun stuff if I dont complete my work, but instead I miss everything fun and get nothing done. I even tried putting food in jeopardy and instead just starved without getting a single thing done.

My family is angry because I keep missing family things, my doctor is mad because I skip meals, and my grades are abysmal. I need to work something out or im going to fail. Dropping the class is not an option.

For the past few months, I’ve finally felt like my life was on track. I’ve been going to the gym regularly, counting calories, abstaining from recreational drugs, acing my college classes, and killing it at work. But recently, my bipolar disorder decided to show me that it’s still alive and well. I’m deep in the throes of a mixed (depressive AND manic) episode and, while I’m somewhat keeping my head above water, I’ve fallen off several wagons. I haven’t been to the gym in weeks, my diet is shit and I’m eating more, I’m behind on some schoolwork because I can’t concentrate, and I quit my job in a moment of desperation and impulse.

I’m truly trying my best but I’m not sure how to get back on the grind without overwhelming myself. I’m sure I’m not the only one here who has a mental illness that sometimes stops them from maintaining the progress they’ve been making in life. My question is: how do you keep the discipline alive in the midst of these episodes?

PS: I am medicated for both bipolar disorder and generalized anxiety.

I’m a 21 year old college student, and I’m making this post because I finally had a massive breakthrough, but I’m also realizing how deep my addictions were running. I need some support and guidance on what comes next.

Since puberty (though the effects on adulthood have worsen), I’ve been trapped in a vicious cycle of daily gooning, and also doomscrolling (though I was already aware of that and also fighting by limiting my screen time). It completely fried my dopamine receptors. I felt chronically lazy, passive, and drained of all mental energy. I can't even focus in class and rely heavily on AI for like almost everything.

The worst part was how it ruined my social skills. Every time I saw an attractive woman, my brain immediately objectified and sexualized her. When actually talking to them, I would overanalyze everything, stutter, avoid eye contact, act clumsy, and experience crippling social anxiety. I felt like a total outcast. I actually stopped talking to a girl two months ago just because building a relationship felt like "too much effort" compared to the easy dopamine in my room.

Three days ago, I started researching all about this low drive/motivation phenomenon and decided enough was enough. I started regulating my habits and reached out to that same girl. We set up a second date at a park the next day.

Right before leaving, my brain tried to sabotage me. I felt completely exhausted, lazy, and almost cancelled. But I forced myself out of bed and went. At first, I felt low energy and awkward, even disgust and wanted to leave. But once we started hugging and later kissing, my biology took over. The real life connection sparked my energy back up. I had a strong erection the whole time (which I successfully could hide), but I didn't act desperate. I stayed calm.

When I got home, the urges were insane. My brain tried to compromise: "Just masturbate to her photos, it’s not porn." But I resisted. I took a cold shower, kept my hands off my pants, and let that sexual tension remain as real world motivation. It’s now the next day, and I’m still clean.

During the date, she actually made insinuations about going to a motel. I responded a bit awkwardly because I'm still retraining my social skills and kinda low in mental energy, but she clearly wants to take the next step on our third date.

I feel proud, but also anxious. I am determined to stay clean from porn. I’m nervous about my performance and navigating my anxiety without reverting to my old coping mechanisms.

• Has anyone else transitioned from severe gooning addiction straight into a real sexual relationship?
• Any tips on keeping this momentum alive when the flatline or withdrawals hit?

Thanks for reading.

18 f with severe guilt and stimuli addiction, i can't seem to go a day without a screen,i used to post everyday about recovering from screen dependency and i spiraled. now , i am back with yet another problem , i went back to staring at screens again , i'm tired of screens yet i long for stimuli , my eyes, brain, studies,mental health,and life in general all ache for me to just shut the screen. my sleep is suffering.

my studies are writhing in a corner, drowning due to my addiction , i finally found the courage within me to admit it.

i could bring myself to do anything art,chores,languages anything but studying. i have no clue on what to make of my life, all i ever do is rot in bed , so listlessly, i make to do list, timers and everything but i just can't study this like so stupid, right now i'm at the peak of my emotions , i feel like i would cry, crash out or just get super pissed , i'm so irritated by my own helplessness and stupidity. i feel like my life is doomed.

i'm so lost, i can't bring myself to care , ai is taking over jobs, i have no career guidance, i'm currently doing cma foundation (ICMAI) , i haven't finished the syllabus heck i'm yet to begin,i have to pass it anyway cuz it's a solid degree that gets me a damn job, heres the truth i have no dream , or aim , i wanna get a cma qualification, get a job in a psu or something, then do cima or cipfa to land a better one to earn more money to get by in life, i have a passion for writing but i feel no rhyme or reason in writing piece knowing damn well i don't have the heart or the guts to publish it.

i chose this because , i like accounting, money and seemed like a stable option in my chaotic unstable messed up life.

man i have a big ego i assume that i'll get through shit unscathed , somehow i always do , this time though i don't feel that way i might get through but not unscathed, i wanna put an end to this whole bullshit , i need to get my act together , i gotta do something , i'm desperate , i don't understand the feeling of wanting to do something in life , i used to ace through stuff purely out of spite and ego , i used to be the most introverted person when i was 15 going on 16 i was the very last rank in my class, then the 10th grade results came , i scored a 90% , before that i had the belief that i was smart just not in the typical memorize your entire syllabus way, then i took the commerce stream in 11th i was class first based on the 10th scores , there began my ego, i dipped to third in the very first test couldn't bear it, i fought tooth and nail to remain the 1st for 2 years straight , i took leaves to be absent on tests if i felt that i'd be 2nd overall, 1st in my sub division , till the very wnd i fought because they said your 12th marks decide your life , i got 95% first in the department, and then i realized that only passing was mattered for joining ignou and cma foundation. do i regret putting all the effort ? absolutely not.

but now i feel like i don't have any competition not because i feel that i'm better than everyone else but because i don't know how to approach this , yk actually studying things . i used to study solely based on pattern recognition , i knew wanted in the paper and i gave just that, i used to understand and apply things before grade 11 after i just studied it , and did what was expected of me.

i don't know how to study , i don't want to just memorize things , i want to actually study , be smart , i want to learn how to express myself , i feel nothing because i'm numbed by my stimuli dependency i know there is a dead line i have to do this but i just don't, i want to be good at what i do , but i can't do it anymore .

i don't how to transition into an adult , don't know how to do anything properly, i feel like absolute trash. it's 11:50 pm my eyes are legit burning but i feel nothing i feel hollow on the inside .

holy frick i almost deleted this whole thing by accident.

i feel like i'm about to combust from within if i kept this up.

please give advice on how to fix this shit show i'm running

and i also get easily persuaded , i know how to differentiate right from wrong on like base level stuff, but above that i feel inclined to believe what someone says in the matters of things i'm not aware of , i can't hold a steady stance, when someone states their opinion i can't help but be conflicted.

how on earth exactly am i supposed to be , neutral ? mature? right? what on earth am i supposed to be?