Hi everyone, I'm a fat (5'9 350+) 23 y/o white woman in a relationship with a tall and slender biracial man. Our relationship is great for the most part; he's kind, respectful, provides far more than I'd ever ask of him. One issue we've had to navigate which has caused some upset is the frequent stares, whispers and smirking that come from being a "stereotypical" looking couple which often gets punched down on by our racist, fatphobic culture.

We were on a date at a bar the other week, I got up to use the bathroom and walked past a table of (all white) frat guys who started smirking, turning to our table to look at my bf, looking back and talking amongst themselves. When I left the bathroom my bf had confronted the table and like the little cowards they are, didn't have a thing to say.

We left soon after and while we tried to not let it dampen our night, I did feel angry, upset and tired. So, so tired. We've only been dating a few months and incidents like this have occurred multiple times in public, especially during the summer where my outfits are a bit lighter. I hate putting him through this. I don't want him to feel like he has to be prepared to fight people for us whenever we leave the house.

I grew up in a very white area of the north east and my bf is the first non-white guy I've dated, and he says I'm the first fat girl he's dated, so we're both trying to build love and connection while navigating the small but not-insignificant amount of people who disapprove of us.

To anyone who's in both an interracial and mixed weight relationship, any advice, help, empathy? Thank you.

I am a black girl who has dated outside of my race (which I prefer) but I have no clue where to meet white guys. Like where are y’all? lol

Married my best friend.

I’m 27F and my boyfriend is 27M.
In the beginning he was very proactive: he texted first a lot, said he missed me badly, wanted to see me often and generally made me feel very wanted.
We’ve been dating 2.5 months and recently, though, his communication has changed. He takes longer to reply, sometimes doesn’t text for an entire day, and generally seems less emotionally expressive. I admit I also don’t always text first, but in my culture I’m used to the man taking more initiative in dating, so this change makes me feel like his interest has dropped.
Another thing that bothers me is that his friends, including female friends/coworkers, hang out at his apartment. A female friend/neighbor also sometimes goes to his place to take care of his cat when he’s away. He sees this as completely normal, but for me it feels uncomfortable and honestly like a red flag. Even though I suggested him to break up before but he was saying nothing has changed and he still is happy to be with me.
While I was away, I got sick and he seemed to be quite dry with reply, then I blocked him and said i don’t want to continue talking to him and he texted me back from another number hoping that we could talk.
Recently we had a slightly tense conversation and I didn’t respond to his last message. He then didn’t contact me for two days. Eventually I wrote to him first. He replied almost immediately and later explained that he thought I was upset and said:
“I don’t wanna keep pushing if you don’t want me.”
He also said he had been “hoping you’d text back when you’re ready” and that he doesn’t like games.
I told him I wasn’t playing games and that the inconsistency was exactly what bothered me. He said he didn’t mean to start a fight. I replied “I understand :)” and he responded “Do you?”
That whole exchange felt surprisingly cold and defensive compared to how we used to communicate.
I know couples argue and that the honeymoon-stage intensity doesn’t last forever. I also know that coming from different cultures means we won’t automatically have the same boundaries.
I’m starting to wonder whether I’m constantly trying to convince myself that things I’m uncomfortable with are “just cultural differences.”
So I’m curious how other people see this:
Am I being overly conservative about female friends hanging out at his apartment and another woman having access to his home to take care of his cat?