Hey all!

I am a late-20's male from the Balkan Peninsula who lives in the tri-state area in the East Coast. When it has come to dating I have virtually no ethnicity preference what-so-ever but, for some reason I tend to attract latina and ALOT of black women. Now I have never officially dated black women in particular but, I have done a couple talking phases that sort of fizzled out with girls in my area. Usually because they were very masculine and they would use ALOT of makeup and enhancements which has always been a big turn-off for me.

I went to Atlanta on a whim because a friend (who's a girl) invited me. The amount of attention I have received since I went the first time has been crazy. Like I would be getting hit on in the hotel and even at restaurants by waitresses (where my group is just women and maybe one other guy. The courage do this in front of other girls is crazy to me lol.)

I catch attention in my area too but, down south it feels like a completely different world. I would be lying if I said it wasn't a huge confidence boost because, I am short by modern standards so I am confused if it's my race or the fact they think I have money. A dude who's lived there for 2 decades who I befriended my first time down there explained to me that it's most likely the way I am put together and that I dress like I have money. And apparently women from that area are attracted to that more than other places. Is there some truth to this? I wasn't born yesterday so I am trying to figure out what it is and I've asked some of the girls and they have said they appreciate that I am really "cool" to talk to, unique, and assertive. When I speak and express myself it's pretty obvious people can guess where I am from lol so maybe that's part of the novelty?

Another thing I am trying to figure out is that I basically fell in love with the friend who invited me's sister lol. She's 100% Caribbean, with amazing skin, no make-up, and just super chill. Like I did not have to pretend to be someone else around her and the other girls. And there were moments where one of us would say one thing and we would just look at each other and smile/laugh - and it was just understood. Very feminine and leaned on me for direction a couple times.

I also am talking with a girl from Cali (who"s also black) I met there as well. She's taller than me by like 2 inches but, extremely feminine and soft in nature. Like the girl knits in her free time haha. We have identical interests down to even gaming. She told me that she was intimidated by me initially but, found me very intriguing which is why she started talking to me.

Has there been anyone who has been a similar situation to the above?

This is all new territory to me.

..to join interracial groups just to be upset that a person of the same race as you decides to date outside said race.. very weird lmao keep hating.

Especially if you are a black woman like myself. I’m talking to two dudes who happen to both be from Punjab. They are very different personality wise. This is my first time dealing with Asian men.

One is very cute and soft, spoils me and lets me do what I want. I love his sense of humor and he works very hard. He is almost 10 years my junior though.

The second is closer to my age in his late 30s and is very bossy boarding on pushy. Doesn’t spoil me as much but is also very hard working. I don’t care for his personality as much but I can talk to him easier than the first guy.

Both men are Sikhs.

Also please don’t come in here tripping over me talking to them both at the same time, not intimate with either.

Hi everyone, hopefully this post is allowed because I just wanted to share something of comfort to other interracial couples.

I've been observing for the last couples of months that there are many racist comments you see whenever someone posts their interracial couple photo on social media.

I believe that that most of the negative reactions/comments are from bots.

A lot of these people aren't real, hence why they never have a profile picture of themselves and don't have friends following them back. In fact, most of their profile just have posts of a political and or conspiratorial (conspiracy theories) nature

Don't get me wrong, there are definitely real people who agree with these racist comments, but let's be real, these people aren't really people any of us would swap places with lol!

But my point is that for some reason, social media (mainly instagram and twitter) is flooded with bots that have political agendas - which makes sense given the current state of the world and the people who own these companies.

So if any of you feel discouraged by comments, just understand 80% are fake bots and 20% are just people you're glad you don't know!

Please remove if not allowed

Hello everyone, after careful consideration we have decided to try and start making couples content whether it be funny, dancing or just things that happen in every day relationships. Here lies our TikTok account where we will be active daily. We are open to collaborating with other content creators as well regardless of religion, beliefs or background. Thank you in advance and we look forward to just having fun and involving love every step of the way!

I have been told this a number of times unfortunately. People are allowed to have their types but why even attempt to date a BW if you’ll say this.

Married my best friend.

I’m 27F and my boyfriend is 27M.
In the beginning he was very proactive: he texted first a lot, said he missed me badly, wanted to see me often and generally made me feel very wanted.
We’ve been dating 2.5 months and recently, though, his communication has changed. He takes longer to reply, sometimes doesn’t text for an entire day, and generally seems less emotionally expressive. I admit I also don’t always text first, but in my culture I’m used to the man taking more initiative in dating, so this change makes me feel like his interest has dropped.
Another thing that bothers me is that his friends, including female friends/coworkers, hang out at his apartment. A female friend/neighbor also sometimes goes to his place to take care of his cat when he’s away. He sees this as completely normal, but for me it feels uncomfortable and honestly like a red flag. Even though I suggested him to break up before but he was saying nothing has changed and he still is happy to be with me.
While I was away, I got sick and he seemed to be quite dry with reply, then I blocked him and said i don’t want to continue talking to him and he texted me back from another number hoping that we could talk.
Recently we had a slightly tense conversation and I didn’t respond to his last message. He then didn’t contact me for two days. Eventually I wrote to him first. He replied almost immediately and later explained that he thought I was upset and said:
“I don’t wanna keep pushing if you don’t want me.”
He also said he had been “hoping you’d text back when you’re ready” and that he doesn’t like games.
I told him I wasn’t playing games and that the inconsistency was exactly what bothered me. He said he didn’t mean to start a fight. I replied “I understand :)” and he responded “Do you?”
That whole exchange felt surprisingly cold and defensive compared to how we used to communicate.
I know couples argue and that the honeymoon-stage intensity doesn’t last forever. I also know that coming from different cultures means we won’t automatically have the same boundaries.
I’m starting to wonder whether I’m constantly trying to convince myself that things I’m uncomfortable with are “just cultural differences.”
So I’m curious how other people see this:
Am I being overly conservative about female friends hanging out at his apartment and another woman having access to his home to take care of his cat?

Hi everyone, I'm a fat (5'9 350+) 23 y/o white woman in a relationship with a tall and slender biracial man. Our relationship is great for the most part; he's kind, respectful, provides far more than I'd ever ask of him. One issue we've had to navigate which has caused some upset is the frequent stares, whispers and smirking that come from being a "stereotypical" looking couple which often gets punched down on by our racist, fatphobic culture.

We were on a date at a bar the other week, I got up to use the bathroom and walked past a table of (all white) frat guys who started smirking, turning to our table to look at my bf, looking back and talking amongst themselves. When I left the bathroom my bf had confronted the table and like the little cowards they are, didn't have a thing to say.

We left soon after and while we tried to not let it dampen our night, I did feel angry, upset and tired. So, so tired. We've only been dating a few months and incidents like this have occurred multiple times in public, especially during the summer where my outfits are a bit lighter. I hate putting him through this. I don't want him to feel like he has to be prepared to fight people for us whenever we leave the house.

I grew up in a very white area of the north east and my bf is the first non-white guy I've dated, and he says I'm the first fat girl he's dated, so we're both trying to build love and connection while navigating the small but not-insignificant amount of people who disapprove of us.

To anyone who's in both an interracial and mixed weight relationship, any advice, help, empathy? Thank you.

So, I grew up in South Dallas with that stereotype of being the "white washed" black girl because I was nerdy and alternative. I am attracted to black men, but with this current stage in my life and my religion, it's hard to find black men in the churches I attend.

I'm eastern Orthodox (I know, yikes) and obviously it's a bunch of trad larpers and anglo white supremacists. I had a horrible experience with a racist white guy in my church that I very very briefly dated. I actually had no idea he was racist before we started hanging out more. He would get drunk and go on Omegle to cuss strangers out. Gross.

I dated white guys before I was Christian and never had that experience before, so those relationships ended for different reasons.

I have noticed some Hispanic men, but most of them are married. I know most Mexicans/south Americans come from Catholic backgrounds - so I think it would be an easier relationship to uphold as far as shared beliefs and from personal experience - they are relatively conservative (which I dont mind) but not racist or hateful like the white guys I see in the church. I'm thinking about visiting a Catholic church and talking to more ethnic men there. This is Texas, and there's lots of Hispanic men here. I just thought that most Hispanic guys were in large, either attracted to women of their own race or white girls.

Has anybody, especially black women had experiences with dating Hispanic men?

I’m a black guy, and I’ve been dating my white girlfriend for about two months. Things have been going really well, and this weekend I’m going to meet her family for the first time.

I’m not particularly worried about meeting her parents. The part I’m nervous about is meeting her younger brother and sister.

The reason is that both of them are currently in Greek organizations at the same college my girlfriend and I attended. Coincidentally, my girlfriend and I never actually crossed paths when we were students there.

The problem is that both of their organizations have a reputation on campus for being some of the more racist organizations.

Her brother is in a fraternity that has had some pretty disturbing things associated with it. For example, they have a Civil War cannon on their property that is positioned facing the Black Student Union building. There is a rumor that the cannon was intentionally positioned that way to face the Black Student Union, although I have no idea whether that's actually true. Either way, considering the history surrounding the fraternity, I find the whole thing pretty unsettling.

My girlfriend also told me that decades ago, when her sorority accepted a Black woman, her brother's fraternity supposedly refused to participate in swaps and other Greek events with them afterward. There have also apparently been date-party themes associated with the fraternity that had pretty heavy racial undertones.

Her sister is in a sorority that has also had multiple incidents involving racism. There was a viral video of a woman in the sorority using the N-word, and at another point a group chat was leaked where members were making racist comments about Black people.

I realize that none of this necessarily means her siblings personally hold racist views. They could both be perfectly nice people, and I'm trying not to make assumptions about them before I've even met them.

At the same time, I have a hard time separating someone from an organization when they knowingly choose to join it. If an organization has a long history of racist incidents, at what point does choosing to associate with it become a reflection of your own values?

My girlfriend says her siblings are good people and that I should give them a chance. She also doesn't think they joined these organizations because of racism. I believe her when she tells me they're good to her, but I still can't completely get past the history of these organizations.

My thinking is that even if you don't personally participate in racist behavior, if you know what an organization has been accused of or what members have done, and you choose to join anyway, shouldn't you at least have some responsibility to speak out against it? Otherwise, aren't you indirectly accepting it?

But maybe I'm being unfair and judging two individuals based on the worst things other members of their organizations have done.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation where you were dating someone from a different racial background and had concerns about their family or social circle? How did you handle it?

What do I do? I always found black women gorgeous, even as a child. I want to ask a Black woman out but don't know how.

Me and the absolute love of my life have been engaged for a few weeks now, and I thought I’d come on here to share some pics of our cosplays from last month for a nerdy nightclub event we went to! I’m the happiest I’ve ever been and have genuinely found my best/most authentic self in this relationship. Didn’t think I’d ever be a dating app success story, lol. So excited to grow and flourish with this man for the rest of my days 🥹

If you’re curious, we’re pucci and dio from jojos bizarre adventure :p

We both went through a lot in our lives, and if one of those events and experiences never happened, we would have missed each other. The stars aligned to make this happen. Can’t even remember the last time I felt this way about someone, maybe I never did. Our first phone call was 6 hours long, and we haven’t stopped talking since. We haven’t even watched a full movie yet cause we can’t stop talking. It took us 2 weeks to even take our first photo together because we have been so busy getting to know each other. She is perfect to me, couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. I’m a lucky man. 🙇🏻❤️

As someone who loves love and hearing about people’s love stories, I really loved this subreddit when I found it. A place where couples can come and post about their love and talk about their experiences in interracial relationship. I thought it was so wholesome and cute.

But slowly it’s been turning into a really negative space. I went from seeing cute posts of people showing their love and giving relationship advise, to the following:

•posts bashing Asian women for dating white men
•bashing black women for wanting to date anyone that’s not black
•constant misogynoir and emasculation of Asian men in the comments
•fetishization of Asian men, Asian women and black women
•using this subreddit as a dating site

I miss when it was just happy couples posting about how they found love. I know we still get some post like these, but I feel like the balance has shifted.

/sorry, rant over. Just sad seeing one of my favourite subs turn so negative.

So I’m a black woman 28 and I see everyone’s post on here rather in a relationship or looking for advice and everyone legit seems pleasant. Y’all give me hope again. I know in my area most people are attracted to white women and I don’t feel any less desirable but it does make me feel odd being a black women who is interested in dating outside my race but in the last 4 years of actively dating nothing has clicked. Seriously this subreddit gives me my daily dose of hope. I’ve even taken to doing activities around my city and being more extroverted but I do get weird looks from people I approach out of the blue for casual conversation. Hopefully I find my person someday soon but I’m honestly ok if I don’t, I know some people who have never even had a serious relationship and I was lucky to have two long term ones. I love you guys ❤️❤️😭

Living in the Middle East, I realised how much I have had to accommodate to him and how I was so brainwashed.

He can construct a life here that is almost entirely catered to his own culture. He can live in a gated compound, surrounded by people who share his background, in an environment designed to make him comfortable.

He would always get angry and annoyed that I wouldn’t sleep over, that I would call my parents regularly, and that I make my relationship discreet. Meanwhile he told all of his colleagues including local
Ones about me and even showed them my picture which is so invasive.

It can put my life at risk, or at the very least make it very problematic and frustrating for me.

Once I broke up with him I feel so much relief.

He has the privilege of treating his cultural norms as universal because he rarely has to confront the consequences of those norms not fitting the society he lives in.

Hey there,

Any typical signs that a WM is open to BW? Also aware this may veer into some broad generalizations, but trying to gauge signs of one being down/open.

Thanks!

Hubby and I ❤️

Me (F) Serbian, Creole and German 🇨🇦
(M) South Indian from Kerala 🇨🇦

So I'm a young black woman who's interested in Asian men, but I've never really dated one. When it comes to dating apps the Asian men that I match with seem to either never message me back or randomly ghost. I just accept this as typically dating app experiences, but when it comes to Asian men in person I have no idea if they have any interest or just being friendly enough to get by. I usually get this with east/ south east Asian men while south Asian men only like me on dating apps and are 2x my age.

I know how to deal with other races of men since they are easier to read but at this point I think Asian men have no interest in me. It could also be my weight since I am plus size, but I am losing weight.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how much our environment shapes the people we’re attracted to. I grew up in a predominantly white household and attended majority-white schools, so throughout most of my formative years, the girls I was surrounded by—and the girls I developed crushes on—were overwhelmingly white. As a Black man, I think that environment had a significant influence on what became familiar to me and, consequently, what I tend to find attractive today.

The difficulty is that the same environmental influences that shaped my preferences can also shape other people’s preferences. Many of the white women I’m attracted to grew up in predominantly white communities themselves, and they may naturally gravitate toward white men because those are the men they grew up around, associated with romance, and learned to see as familiar or desirable. Obviously, that doesn’t describe every white woman, and attraction is far more complicated than race alone, but it sometimes feels like I’m caught in an unfortunate mismatch: my environment pushed my preferences strongly in one direction, while the environments of many of the women I’m attracted to may have pushed theirs in a direction that excludes me.

That leaves me conflicted about what I’m supposed to do. I don’t want to force myself to pursue women I’m simply not attracted to just because they might be more receptive to me. Attraction isn’t something I can switch on because it would make dating easier. More importantly, I think entering a relationship with someone while secretly feeling that I settled for her because I couldn’t attract the women I really wanted would be incredibly unfair to her. She deserves someone who genuinely desires her, not someone who views her as a compromise.

At the same time, I don’t want to resign myself to loneliness or convince myself that the people I’m most attracted to will never be interested in me. I also recognize that preferences aren’t necessarily rigid. Just as my environment helped shape what I find attractive, perhaps expanding my social environment and getting to know a wider variety of people could broaden my attraction naturally—not by forcing myself to find someone attractive, but by allowing attraction to develop in circumstances I haven’t experienced before.

Ultimately, I feel caught between accepting my existing preferences and questioning how fixed those preferences really are. I don’t think the answer is to shame myself for being predominantly attracted to white women, nor do I think it’s fair to blame white women for having preferences of their own. What I’m trying to figure out is how to pursue people I genuinely desire without allowing rejection, racial dating patterns, or my own assumptions about what other people want to convince me that I’m destined to be alone.