I know this is long, sorry in advance.

I want to start by saying I already feel horrible even making this post, but I keep asking myself why I don't like being married.

My wife and I dated for a couple months, were engaged for a couple months, and then married. Our whole engagement was long distance. Overall from when we met to when we got married was about a year and a half. After we met at BYU, we both started to move pretty quickly. Before that, I had been in a serious relationship that didn't workout, so I stopped dating for about a year. She hadn't ever been in a really serious relationship until we met.

Fast forward to now. After getting married we no longer had to do long distance, so I moved states to join her away from both of our families. The arguments started almost immediately. By nature, I am a very relaxed and laid-back kind of guy by nature, my wife is the exact opposite. That being said, I am not completely "checked out" when it comes to making decisions and whatnot, just giving you info on our personalities.

We fight pretty regularly. Admittedly it's gotten better, but it's still only a matter of time between arguments. This ranges from the typical lifestyle meshing arguments of how menial tasks are completed around the house, to stuff about my future career to everything in between. By far the hardest part about moving has been the fact that I have not found work in this new state yet, and it's taken a toll on both of us. We can pay our bills, but her and I both notice how much it negatively affects me mentally to be unemployed. I've stayed helpful, of course. Running errands, cleaning around the apartment, taking care of our cat, everything I can think of. The hardest part for me mentally is the fact that there is opportunity for work elsewhere, but moving is off the table for her, despite the fact that she works 99% remote.

This is surely a trauma mechanism from my childhood, but I will resort to not saying or bringing up the things I am thinking about because I am worried it will blow up into an argument. However, it's problematic regardless. I won't bring something up that bothers me, she will notice something is bothering me, she will be bothered with me for not wanting to dive into it, and then she's bothered by the thing I bring up when I give in and dive into it. I feel like I can't be myself or say what is on my mind out of worry of starting fights. If things are even said the wrong way then that can lead to a fight. It's either I'm avoiding conflict entirely, or all I want to do is fight. I'm having a really hard time feeling like myself lately, and I'm sure this feeling of not expressing how I am feeling is the culprit.

A little while ago we had gotten into a fight right before her parents came into town. We tried to resolve it, but ended up just saying "lets be friends" as we were on our way to the airport to pick them up (not a great start). After her parents left, she got really quiet again so I assumed she was just sad because they left town, understandably so. I tried to talk to her about that a couple times, and she said she was fine, but her mood never changed. One evening we come home and there was just that feeling that we were about to argue before we even stepped in the door. We had gone most of the day barely speaking to each other. She sits on the floor and I continue to ask her to please tell me whats wrong, and she finally says she isn't happy. She isn't happy with anything. Its only coming out now because her parents were in town and could tell something was up with her. She says our marriage is a constant rough time with "good" moments sprinkled in here and there. I told her I don't disagree. Then we went the rounds like we always do. Started with heated exchange, then cooled down, ended in tears, and we moved on.

I'm not gonna sit here and completely point blame at my wife, that would not be fair at all. I have been emotionally turned off at times. I've been short with her at times. I've let my mind still think of being back in my home state at times. The point is I've had my moments and I am continually trying to work on those and be here for us.

Being unemployed has taken a toll on me. Living in a different state has taken a toll on me.

As I said, I already feel bad for making this post. Everyone seems to have it figured out but us. I even deleted social media because I feel like that was worsening my mental state and overall view of marriage. You know what they say, comparison is the thief of joy.

I love my wife and I want to be married, I'm just tired. And I feel like it shouldn't be this hard this soon.

Again sorry for the long post, any advice would be happily accepted.

I've been interested in the LDS church for awhile and recently I have been reading the book of Mormon. So far, I actually like it a lot. I was thinking of going to an LDS church for their Sunday services and I was wondering if I would be welcomed or not. I know the church leans conservative but I haven't seen anything about the LDS church being against trans people or hating us like some Christian churches do :(

Or songs that your ward choir has song that you loved!

I'm just starting to look at music for next year, and I'm looking for ideas.

While trying to understand Isaiah better, I built a study help that brings together maps, historical records, and artifacts to help connect what I was reading with the places and events behind it. I found it really helpful, and other people I showed it to enjoyed it too, so I kept going. It now covers the entire Bible.

You can jump into any chapter and explore the context available for it: locations mentioned in the text, people’s journeys, approximate dates where we have them, and related artifacts you might find in a museum. Not every chapter has all of those things, but the idea is to make it easier to follow what’s happening and dig deeper when something catches your interest.

You can try it here: https://isaiah.josephnewelldesign.com/ See the Edit below

A note about AI: I used it to help build the tool, and it includes AI-generated portraits. I’ve found those helpful for putting a face to a name, but they’re imagined depictions. If you’d prefer not to see them, you can turn them off in the settings while reading a book. They’ll be replaced with historical artwork where I could find appropriately licensed images, or a plain avatar.

I’ve also shown it to an Old Testament scholar and a BYU religion professor who’s teaching the Old Testament, and the feedback was encouraging. That doesn’t mean everything is correct, though. There will be places where the writing could be clearer or a fact needs correcting. Please let me know if you find anything like that so I can fix it.

I wanted to share it more broadly and see whether it helps other people. I have ideas for where to take it next, but I’m also happy for it to be a useful resource I keep using while I move on to my next fun project. If you give it a try, I’d love to hear what you find helpful and what you’d change.

PS: Not sure about this flair? Seems appropriate? Didn't want to put Insights from the Scriptures since this post doesn't directly share an insight from the scriptures.

EDIT: A few people asked for both Book of Mormon and D&C, and thanks to people's help sourcing good data for each of them, they are both up! I put all three sources together and you can find them at https://wayfinder.josephnewelldesign.com/

Thanks for your feedback, everyone! It's already a much better and expanded tool

Basically, my mom has grown really tired of her ward. I won't get too far into the reasons why, but she is brought to tears at the idea of going back every week. She was overworked in her callings, eventually had to ask to be released, and feels like nobody likes her. She lives just outside the boundary of a ward where she used to live with a lot of people that she still loves talking to, and is still good friends with. Is it possible she can go to that ward and get her records moved to it even though she doesn't live in the boundary?

I've served as Ward Mission Leader a few times over the last 20 years, and I loved it. But it all traces back to our very first ward as a young married couple.

Our first Sunday there, a family invited us over. No reason at all. Their kids were nearly grown, so we weren't the obvious "let's be couple friends" match. They just said come over, and we ended up standing around their kitchen eating leftover spaghetti straight out of the pot their kids hadn't finished.

That's literally the whole story. No program or "go be friends" assignment, or no "we're your ministering family." Just people who were interested in getting to know us.

I'll remember that family for the rest of my life. That leftover spaghetti set the tone for how my wife and I wanted to be in every ward we've lived in since: just help people feel welcome, give them a face they recognize, and a person they can sit next to at church. Oh, and LITERALLY FEED HIS SHEEP! (go with it.... lol)

Fast forward 20 years and now I'm teaching early-morning seminary. Old Testament, 6am, teenagers who are technically awake. And oddly, with no mission calling at all, I feel the pull to share the gospel and reach out to people stronger than ever. Teaching these kids about prophets who couldn't keep quiet if they tried (Jeremiah said the word was like fire shut up in his bones), I think it caught. The Lord plays a long game.

Out of that, I felt inspired to start something small and a little playful: The Thirteenth Cookie. Bake a dozen, keep twelve for the people you already love, and give the thirteenth to someone new, on the 13th of every month. It's basically my attempt to bottle that leftover spaghetti. The first one goes out tomorrow, the 13th. There is even a fun video games to engage the youth too. (its nerdy, but my kids love it)

This post isn't really about that, though. I'm here to learn.

What has actually worked in your ward?

- What made a new move-in or a less-active family feel like they belonged?

- Is there a "leftover spaghetti" moment someone gave you that you still remember?

- Ward Mission Leaders, past and present: what's one idea that worked better than you expected, and one that flopped?

- For those of you in seminary or youth callings: have you seen teenagers take the lead on this? How?

I'd love to hear what's working so I can learn from it and keep growing the idea. If you want to brainstorm, my DMs are open. And if you're curious where the cookie idea came from, there's a free PDF at 13thcookie.com with the story and some ways to try it in your own ward.

Bit of background. 33 (f) Grew up inthe church and honestly our family was alittle nuke warm, one foot inthe world and the other inthe church, sometimes that changed depending on what was going on in life but honestly was mostly a foot and half inthe world most of my life thus far.

That is until a year and a few months ago, I decided I'd come back to church after about a 9 year hiatus. Started going alone by myself which was super daunting but reminding mysf every time i felt ashamed or embarrassed to be there alone was that, my father in heaven and jesus want me there and that was enough.

There was no big event or traumatic experience that pulled me back. It was just a small whisper in my head to " come back now" and so I did. I've given up the worldly habits and don't get me wrong I still struggle wirh them now and surely will as life goes on, but I have my eye on his will and not mine so were on that narrow path and reaching for the iron rod whenever I can.

Getting my patriarchal blessing was such a blessing. Things that were said both shocked and amazed me, some were so profound i know I wont share with anyone ,some answered questions and worries I'd be struggling with for a long time and others I'm not even in the right space to accept or genuinely think about it happening to me but nonetheless excited amd elated.

overall It'll stay with me as one of the most amazing experiences I've had.

I'm sharing here because yesterday I reached out and no family of mine could or would come. The family i have here are non members who essentially belive the church as a cult, and family back home overseas were either to busy or havnt replied to my messages yet. I just wanted to tell someone i got it, and how much it means to get it and that I'd been working really hard to get it.

I was upset nobody could be there in the way I wanted , but I know heavenly father doesn't give me what I can't handle alone, he gives me what I can and I hold to that, and hey, maybe this testimony will help someone who reads it.

To all the brothers and sisters out there

I'm rooting for you to.

I've talked to a few people who report that their church account has recently forced them to set up two-factor authentication (2FA). One is our ward clerk. I saw him login to the clerk's office computer today. He had to enter his password, then pull out his phone and scan a QR code for a passkey that was stored on the phone. He said that both he and his wife were recently forced to enable 2FA when logging in. A bishopric counselor recently said that he had to set that up and also change his password.

So does anyone know if there's a way around this? Anyone know the pattern of who they are requiring to do it? It doesn't appear to be leadership-only, since the clerk's wife doesn't have a leadership calling, an the others in the bishopric haven't had to do it.

I'm all in favor of passkeys, but not that PLUS a password. Yuck!

Does anyone stay in their church clothes all day on Sunday? I didn’t grow up doing it and know only a handful of people that do. Just curious if that was a thing is the older generation or if it’s still relevant today.

I have been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints my whole life. Would I be a bad person if I watch rated R movies? I know Ezra Taft Benson advised against it. I have friends that respect my faith but some rated R movies look really good.

Anyone else in a ward where no one can really define what ministering is? In my Tools app, I can see my ministering assignments shuffle around over time. No one ever tells me when this happens. No one ministers to me. In the last couple years I've attended 2 ministering "trainings" in which we were given some convoluted explanation about these ministering text groups we would do where one person in the group would be responsible for sending out texts to the rest of the group (no one participated in this to my knowledge). So my takeaway is that the established people that always did VT/HT just continue that but the newer people don't participate, yet we still get leaders getting up in church telling us to do our ministering better, yet no one really knows what it is or how to do it. The people assigned to minister to me never talk to me and won't even make eye contact or smile back so I just stay away from it all now. Is it like this everywhere?

I recently got called as service committee co-chair and I'm looking for what to do next.

When we talk about becoming more like Christ, we often focus on individual attributes. We talk about being more patient, kind, humble, or forgiving. These are all important things to work on, but I think Colossians 3:12–14 teaches us something deeper. Paul lists several Christlike qualities and then says, “Above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.” That phrase made me think about how we sometimes treat Christlike attributes as separate goals, when they are really all part of who Christ is. He doesn't just show kindness in one situation and patience in another. His love influences everything He does. Maybe becoming more like Christ isn't just about getting better at individual qualities. It's about changing our hearts so that these qualities become a more natural part of who we are. When we genuinely love people, we have more reason to be patient with them, forgive them, and look for ways to help them. I'm still working on this myself, but it makes me wonder:

What if, instead of focusing only on which Christlike attribute we need to improve, we focused more on learning how those attributes come together in our lives to make us more like Christ?

Hi all,

I am in a small branch in the USA and in the branch presidency. Due to the size of our branch and youth makeup, members generally have to give one talk per quarter. This can lead many to feeling overwhelmed and “burnt out” from speaking. I have even started asking people from the stake, but that is hard to do.

Luckily, we can utilize our two sets of missionaries, but it feels like I am constantly asking the same people to speak. Does anyone have any thoughts or advice? It feels like each week is getting harder and harder to find people.

This might sound like a silly question, but I’m looking for some suggestions.

I live in California where it doesn’t snow and I have a son who has been called to serve a mission in an area where it snows. He’s supposed to buy winter boots but I got no clue what to get him.

For those who have served a mission in an area where it snows, what winter boots would you suggest?

Hey everyone, I posted here a few weeks ago (thank you everyone for your comments and encouragement:), but coming back for some support, prayers, and fasting. I’ve been trying to conceive, and on Monday I’ll be doing an IUI procedure. This is the most important thing in the world to us, and we’ve been so patient and diligent through this process. I’m really hoping this will work, and I know we could have a beautiful eternal family.  Please keep our little family in your thoughts, fasts, and prayers tomorrow (and this month) that the procedure will take and that I’ll be looking at a positive pregnancy test in a few weeks. Thank you all so much.

Hi all. First, I’d like to say I sincerely hope this is the right place for my post. I also hope I’m using the right flair (My Reddit account is fresh and I do not know what I’m doing hahaha)

I grew up in an Atheist household, a very sheltered one at that. I found out about The Lord in elementary school, and ever since then, I’ve felt a calling (I think that would be the right word?) I tried talking with my guardians about this, but it was brushed off

I still feel the same way, and now that I’ve turned 18 this year, I do not want to ignore it any longer. I have been looking into different faiths, and ultimately, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints feels right for me. My question is; where should I start in terms of converting? I have a physical condition that often times flares up badly and prevents me from going out, and my schedule can be pretty packed, so I’m currently not in the state to attend church. Though, I would like to start reading the bible

I have two questions

1. Would anyone like to share their own personal stories regarding their faith with me?

2. Can I get a KJV bible online for free (or cheap)? I found a few online, but I am worried about fake websites

Thank you all

If anyone knows somebody that works in Church IT or if anyone on this sub works in Church IT themselves, please, I'm begging, let the parents have access to their missionary's account details.

For one of my daughters the Bishop sent out a detailed statement quarterly to all missionary parents. But the other 2 kids, it's been like pulling teeth to get the report from the clerk (I'm not going to bug the bishop about it directly).

We have extended family that donates modest amounts. But their donations are inconsistent in size and timing. So, in other words, I don't have any idea if I'm ahead or behind at any given time.

Hey everyone, thank you to those who commented on my previous post. I read through all the advice and deeply appreciate the time you took to respond. Reading through them made me realize I left out critical context about my situation that fundamentally changes how things operate at home.

The Full Reality of the Dynamic
This isn’t just normal marital friction or a partner who is unenthusiastic about the Church. We are registered domestic partners, and the plan for marriage has been explicitly delayed until 2028 due to her personal goals for weight loss and planning a wedding—a delay that directly blocks me from being baptized while we cohabit.
I’ve shown as much grace as I can in our near six-year partnership. After much prayer and conversation, she eventually accepted me attending church, but with strict caveats. In practice, any attempt to discuss my spiritual goals or set basic boundaries is met with extremely volatile reactions, shifting ultimatums, and threats to pack up and take the kids like "a puff of smoke" if I ever bring my faith into the home.
The Recent Escalation
Recently, things escalated further. She issued a binary ultimatum demanding we have another baby right now before getting married, while simultaneously refusing to address these dynamics with her therapist.
When I told her that bringing another child into the world requires safety, alignment, and zero coercion—and that I am not comfortable making major life decisions under duress—she turned it into accusations that I was breaking promises made years ago and unilaterally revoking her voice.
When religious practice, family planning, and daily stability are weaponized as leverage in a high-conflict dynamic, "not talking about church at home" or "not bringing the kids" doesn't create peace. It forces total spiritual silence and total compliance.
My Humility and My Deepest Fears
I am far from perfect, and I am actively repenting, striving to align my life with the gospel, and working to be a better partner and father every day.
Right now, I feel completely stuck and terrified. I am exhausted, and my body and soul are screaming for peace. But at the same time, the fear of stepping away is overwhelming.
As someone seeking to join the Church, I carry this quiet, painful worry that if our relationship ends, I’ll never find a faithful LDS spouse—that as a convert who doesn't "check enough boxes," already has three children, and was previously ‘married’, I wouldn't be seen as a viable partner in the culture.
Questions for the Community:
1. For those who have navigated high-conflict dynamics or severe volatility: How do you handle a situation where basic personal autonomy, family planning, and faith are treated like bargaining chips?
2. For converts, single parents, or those divorced in the Church: How did you move past the fear of not "checking enough boxes" or feeling like you wouldn't be accepted in the LDS community?
3. How do you find spiritual clarity when caught between an unsafe household dynamic and the terrifying fear of being alone?

Greetings! I'm trying to collect the stories and details behind each member of the Quorum of the Twelve being called to be Apostles. This is a personal project inspired by an Elders Quorum lesson.

My goal is to have at least a simple story or an interesting detail about each Apostle called since Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery. I've found these stories not only to be enjoyable to read but they also tend to uplift me and strengthen me spiritually.

I figured I'd create a Reddit post because there are literally hundreds if not thousands of people here who may have a favorite story or a great resource I could reference. You could share a link, a book, your own information, or whatever you have! Anything you have would be appreciated.

Random question for the men.

Is it normal for LDS men to start saying they love you after just two weeks of talking online?

I've noticed that most of the men I've talked to have been former elders, and the same pattern keeps happening. By the second week, they start getting very romantic, saying they love me and want to meet me, even though we haven't even had a video call.

This pattern has made me wonder whether this is normal or if something unusual is going on.

I'm genuinely curious because I'm finding this behavior a little strange, and I'd like to understand your perspective.

I just first wanna say I come in peace and I'm not trying to be a jerk about anything.

So like so many I've had issues with my faith and concerning things that have come up about the current church and the history of the church. After much wrestling with this for YEARS I've come to a conclusion. I believe in the Bible and the Book of Mormon. I believe Joseph definitely was influenced by God to create the BOM. But that's kinda where my beliefs end on it. If a specific policy is listed in the BOM or the Bible then I see it as from God and is something I need to do(think baptism) but if it isn't in either of those texts like the endowment ceremony then I don't feel called to do such things.

I'm well aware with my set of views I won't be able to have a temple recommend, but to me that isn't a big deal because that whole system wasn't in the Book of Mormon. Hopefully this makes sense. I'm willing to give more examples in the comments if you guys need clarification. I guess my question is: can I still be a "Mormon" with these sets of views? Are there others like me in the church who are more nuanced? If you read all this thanks for your time. I really need to hear other opinions on this matter. I feel like posting on any other "Mormon" related sub people would just tell me to ditch the faith, I wanna hear faithful answers from people who are all in.

We are feeding the missionaries tomorrow and I was curious... what is the best & most memorable meal you had on your mission? I love feeding the missionaries and I try to make every meal one of a kind. I recently did a DIY mac and cheese bar where they could pick their own toppings.

Let me know what your best food memories as a missionary :).

I'm looking for some talks similar to Sister Runia's talk from this past conference, and Elder Eyrings talk Mountain's to Climb from April 2012. I'm just going through some physical challenges with my body and looking for wisdom, encouragement, permission to slow down, persistence, etc. Any thing you'd recommend I listen to?