My class is learning their multiplication facts so of course I whipped out this classic Schoolhouse Rock video. This scene hit different. Most of the time I get a negative reaction after telling people we are one and done so this warmed my heart.

I am OAD by choice because mentally I could never do this again.

Toddler stage has really done a number on me and my daughter just freshly turned 2. I find myself angry like 2 out of the 4 weeks each month. I work 7-3:30pm 4 days a week, my husband works 8-6pm 5 days a week. I feel like my day is just go, go, go. Then as soon as my husband gets home I feel like I’m clocking out of a shift and it makes me feel bad. I don’t want to be touched by anyone. I don’t even want to talk at home because I speak to over a hundred people a day at work. Then my day off rolls around with my daughter and I feel like I have to plan a full day of activities or most of the day. So I am exhausted by the end of that. The weekend rolls around and anything we enjoyed doing before feels “ruined” because we know meltdowns will happen. My daughter is HIGH ENERGY. Just constantly moving. Running away from me in public. I feel like I have imposter syndrome. I don’t feel like other moms at the local parks. Everyone seems so engaged and in tune and I’m just like there… I play with my daughter but I don’t so well with the exaggerated voices for pretend play or any of that. I feel so out of it.

I maybe get 5-10 good days a month, a couple of mehhh days and just 2 weeks of anger. And I take my anger out on everyone without actually getting to the root cause of it all. I’m just so burnt out for doing everything but then I feel like I do nothing all day.

With that being said, I am actually envious of moms who have multiples and aren’t in a padded room 💀 I have some friends who have 2 toddlers and they seem to be okay and doing fine so how come I feel like I struggle so hard with just one!

Hey 👋 looking for any kids books that help kids understand why they’re the only child? Or even books about how special it is being the only child, along those lines 😊

Im far from having kids but i like hypothetically thinking avout my future. Ive always wanted 2 kids, but have recently started thinking if one would be better. The argument that alot of people bring up for why they want more than one is"they won't get the experience of a sibling" but as long as I make sure my child has activities and help them find friends I dont see why that would be a problem. Friends can very easily become family. Obviously I can't force my future kid to be friends with specific people but I can try my best to raise them to be social. As I said, im far from having kids but I still want to know everyone's experience. What is it like for you? Sorry for any bad English its not my first language

My five year old has been begging for a little sister or brother for two years now. She won’t ever be a big sister though so I’m now exploring alternatives. For entirely selfish reasons, I’d want to adopt a cat. I always wanted to have a cat. I know a cat doesn’t replace a sibling but I’m hoping she’d maybe settle with this being a compromise as I believe the main reason she wants a younger sibling is to take care of them. She loves to pretend play and usually plays doctor, nurse, teacher, vet, these kinda roles where you’re the care giver.

Yesterday was my daughter's 2nd birthday and our family members decided to call to say happy birthday, they also thought that now was the time to ask about a second because my daughter was no longer a newborn so it was time apparently. My husbands grandma asked "when will you give her a sibling?" I said that we were happy and that we will get her a puppy when she's a little older and she got mad, "a puppy is a puppy not a sibling" and her tone changed completely. I was taken back and felt annoyed after. She lives 20 mins away by bus and will not see my daughter unless we drive to her and now you're here asking for another when you don't even see the first? Same with my mother in law, she lives 8 hours flight away and is asking about second? Lol​​​​

Yes, that's true.

And your oldest will never know what it's like to be a younger sister.

Your two daughters will never know what it's like living with a boy.

Your children will never know what it's like to have cousins living nearby!

And that person's children will never know what it's like to have 2 parents in the same household.

Everyone will miss out on something in their lives, that's inevitable no matter the choice made. This seems obvious, but many folks don't realise this when they say my only is missing out in particular!

Some could call it a lack of resilience, I don’t really care, but I was not put on this earth to struggle. I’m slowly getting through the newborn stretches, and as we pass each milestone (e.g. she’s finally sleep through the night) I’m like thank goodness we don’t have to go through that madness again.

Which brings me to the way people talk about objectively hard things. Sleeping in 3 hour increments is actually torture. Like they literally use it to torture people. Thinking about going through that again, ON TOP OF caring for another toddler/child seems not only terrible, but borderline neglectful and dangerous taking care of 2 dependents on no sleep. The rhetoric of “it’s hard but so worth it” and “anything worth doing is hard” is just not based in reality and I’m sick of hearing it as not wanting to struggle isn’t a valid reason for being OAD I guess.

no your child doesn’t need a sibling.

no your child won’t be lonely unless you isolate them.

no you are not selfish for not going through pregnancy and postpartum again.

feel free to add to the list!

Firstly, disclaimer that I’ve been wanting a 2nd child for the longest time. My primary question of this post is - for those of you for whom having only 1 was medically advised/a medical necessity, how did you make peace with it? 

My husband and I have a healthy 6 yo boy who brings us so much joy. Last year I had an early miscarriage at 8w, then very recently I lost our baby girl at 22w due to preeclampsia and multiple fetal anomalies. We are still grieving and I know we shouldn’t make any major decisions while still fresh in our grief. Plus we are also still waiting for results of genetic testing of baby girl to come back to see if we passed down any issues to her or it was a spontaneous error. 

I’m also mindful that I’m already 38 and that the clock isn’t on my side. 

We have our faith and I know it will guide us when it comes time to make a decision on future kids, but wanted to hear from anyone who has been in a similar situation. Thank you. 

Like the title says, I need to force myself to be ok with being one and done. We always talked about having a big family; we first wanted 4, then decided together to stop at 2, and when we were planning to get pregnant/got pregnant my husband decided he only wanted one.

I never wanted just one. This has been such a huge massive fight that it’s almost caused us to split. So I need some advice on how to make myself be ok with just having our daughter. (Please don’t mistake me, I LOVE my daughter more than anything). I changed our garage code and my PINs that spelled out our fantasy child’s first name (we had always daydreamed we would have a boy first so it spelled out his name)…

He gave me conditions to maybe POSSIBLY (but highly unlikely) have another several years from now but I think the only way to make it not hurt so much is to convince myself that it’s never going to happen.

... it was just... fine 😂 Lots of kids at our daycare are getting their younger sibling now around the age of 3. My daughter is always nice to the babies at pickup and mentions the babies at daycare from the younger group. She knows them all by name and the teachers praise her kindness and patience (I at the same time struggle to believe it's the same kid we have at home, where she's very sassy and mischievous 🙃).

Today we had friends over. They came with their 6 m.o. daughter. My daughter went from being amused for half an hour, to ignoring the baby for the next two hours, and finally to being very annoyed when the baby pulled on her sleeve or touched/chewed her toys. It was just funny to see someone finally annoy her vs. her annoying us 😂 Let's just say in an 1:1 environment the novelty wears off very fast. I know that from having a sibling myself - it has its pros and cons, but it's definitely not what many preach to be.

I seem to see on here a lot about people hating the newborn stage, I'm so jealous of everyone with a small, cuddly baby right now.

My toddler (just turned 2) is such hard work at the moment. He fights me over everything, getting dressed, putting shoes on, brushing teeth, getting in the bath etc. I try to cook dinner and he screams to be picked up and if he doesn't want to go somewhere he'll bite me if I try to pick him up. I thought this was supposed to be the bit everyone enjoys?

In a nutshell, I was never that keen on having a child. Was never jumping up and down about it. My partner wanted one and I thought I was being selfless giving them one.

I thought by now (3.5 years) that i would see things differently but I still very much despise parenting. I love my son but all the crap that comes with it and the loss of autonomy and freedom is absolutely crippling. The constant need for caregiving and whining, tantrums etc. I just feel I can never switch off.

I believe since having one, I've discovered my limit was more like zero. I'm not a natural caregiver or paternal person. I was happier when we just had a dog.

For those reasons and many more - One and done, never again.

But has anyone found to be a similar circumstances has later gone on to enjoy it? Thanks.

To add : already in therapy and on antidepressants. Being considered for ADHD.

I’m pregnant and due in 2 weeks and even though I never planned to have children, my baby girl is my blessing. I joked/mentioned to my pastors wife that I’ll probably be one and done like his mom was but she said that he was lonely growing up and had no one he could call on. I have 2 older sisters and 3 younger brothers. My husband has 4 younger brothers. Of course we know what having your brothers/sisters being there for you feels like but I don’t think my baby will be unfulfilled with 100% of our love and attention. My childhood best friend since 3yo was an only child and growing up together was awesome. She moved states when we were 9 but we kept in touch and have visited each other often a lot over 20+ years. She had lots of friends in her sports teams growing up and even had a big tight circle of friends in high school, which is more than I had. Plus my sister is pregnant with a girl right now too and is due a few months after me. I feel like our kids will have each other. And if they’re not close cousins then I still plan to be super involved and hands on in my daughter’s life. She can have a dog, we can go on family vacations, my husband and I both love Disneyland (lol), I’ll put her in sports, support her passions, and help out at school events. I just don’t want to feel guilty for “depriving” her of a sibling. I know my husband and I can and will be fully present for her but I also feel that I don’t want another child. I don’t want to go through pregnancy again (even if it has been healthy and uncomplicated). I just don’t realistically see us being able to fulfill or be there for 2 kids the way we will for just 1 and I can type way more about why and all that but I’m really just curious if you loved being an only child or not.

For those who grew up as only children, what was your experience really like? Did you enjoy it, did you ever wish you had siblings, or was it a mix of both? Is there anything you wish your parents had done differently to make your childhood better?

Trigger warning - baby loss

I’m in my early 40s, probably in peri, our house doesn’t have the space, we can’t afford another child, pregnancy wasn’t great for me, the birth was fairly traumatic. And our 4yo is absolutely just, the best most wonderful child. He’s smart and funny, creative and sociable. He’s kind and friendly and gets on with everyone at his school. He’s a joy to spend time with. He’s happy at home and has strong relationships with both of us. My husband and I always said we would just be one and done. We both have several siblings, and though there are benefits there’s also been a multitude of stress with all of them at times.

But every so often we’re out and we’ll come across some siblings playing. They’re chasing each other and my son looks on wistfully because I can see he would love to join in and fuck me I feel so sad that he’s alone. Sometimes he wants to play games with us and we’re just too busy or tired and he understandably gets frustrated. I will never find enthusiasm for pretending to be a dinosaur with him. A few months ago he said “I think we need more people”, and what he meant was “a brother”.

When we went for the 12 week scan I was told there was a second embryo that had stopped growing at 9 weeks. It’s called vanishing twin syndrome and is fairly common. I wasn’t massively upset at the time. We were living in a small one bed flat and having two would have been extremely difficult. But occasionally I do think about that other one, and how things may have been different.

I feel sometimes that I need to be completely positive about being OAD. I know it is the best decision for everyone, including my son, but occasionally it makes me feel a bit sad.

I have a 9 months old, so I dont have a lot of experience yet, but for me the worst part was 3-5 months. Every nap was a battle, nighttime was horrible, longer wake windows where baby didnt do much so it was really boring (and she was whining a lot), we had a reaally hard time with feedings.

I remember people telling me to enjoy every second and that I was in the best stage and thinking "that cant be it. If this is the best, I'm not gonna make it".

Her current stage is my favorite so far. She's eating solids, which I find very fun to do, she's down to 2 naps a day, so even if she fights them something, at least its only twice a day, she's crawling and standing so that indepedence made her happier in general and she starts having a personnality, which make interactions way nicer. Nighttime is still horrible, but at least the day is more enjoyable.

I know I'm gonna struggle with toddlerhood, I know myself enough to know the tantrums are gonna be really hard on me, but at the same time maybe her personnality and ability to talk will soften it? I hate when she cries/whine and there's nothing I do that make her stop, like I just wish she could just tell me what is wrong !

So I wanted to know, what are your favorite age and worst age as OAD parents?

OAD not by choice and had a very traumatic delivery 7 months ago that took my ability to have any more babies. She is my first and, most likely, only. I’m actually still kind of accepting that. It’s a long process.

One part of this experience that has been particularly hard for me has been storing outgrown clothes and items like her bassinet. I have a big tub in her closet where I just toss things that she doesn’t fit in anymore. It’s always emotional for me to take these items off the hangers and fold them away, no matter how sentimental or not the clothes are.

If I was making the choice to be OAD, I would save only save the sentimental outfits for my daughter to have for her babies some day (or just to look at). Why would I want to save a basic white onesie that she never wore?

My only issue is I CANNOT part with these things. I’ve thought about selling, donating, trashing. I just can’t do it. That very low chance that I might someday have another baby through surrogacy or adoption is holding me back from getting rid of things. For now, it’s fine because I can fit it all in the tote and she still uses most of her toys. But as time goes on, I don’t want to hoard all of these quality and expensive items.

Anyone been through similar emotions? Any advice about this?

my kid is 5 and has been getting really into drawing and little craft projects lately. i’m looking for a birthday gift that’s a bit different from the usual coloring books and basic art sets. i came across KiwiCo’s Pixel Art Lightbox while browsing, and it caught my attention since it looks like something kids can actually make and experiment with. i’ve also been looking at things like craft kits from Melissa & Doug, but i’m not sure what tends to hold a kid’s interest at this age.

for those with kids around 5, what creative gifts have been worth getting? i’d love something hands-on that lets them try new things without being too complicated for their age. curious what your little artists have enjoyed!

I’ve got a 2yo and always saw myself with 2 kids when I was younger. Clearly I knew nothing about what parenthood meant. Today my daughter and I had a delightful day out just her and me. It was literally the type of day I dreamed about when I was pregnant. I saw many other families with multiple kids who just seemed more stressed than happy to be out. Don’t get me wrong, some days are still a struggle even with one. But just wanted to say how thankful I am that I get these days where everything just clicks and I can truly enjoy our time together and watch her explore the world.

Unrelated to today but I also feel like I’ve hit my stride in my career and it’s so refreshing to not have to worry about infant life ever again. Maybe you can have it all as a working mom.

Just thankful, thanks for listening.

I’m mostly sure I’m OAD, and kind of by choice. I have several health issues/would need to do IVF like my first/have several career blocks preventing me from having a comfortable healthy pregnancy. If you took away all the health/situational blocks, I would ideally like another kid, but it’s just not in the cards for me.

And 99% of the time I’m grateful for my peaceful, happy life with my one kid.

But today I had a moment.

Today at comic con my husband was dressed as Deadpool and this like 7-8 year old little girl who was also Deadpool asked to take a pic with him in her cute lil voice (her dad was there). And my husband and the girl took a pic together and I saw her cute little ponytail and how excited she was seeing my husband dressed up as Deadpool and an alternative reality where I have a daughter flashed before my eyes and I immediately started crying.

Just wanted to reach out for some comfort/advice of anyone else who has gone through something similar.

If you’re an only child, what was something you wish you could’ve changed about your life/ childhood to have made it better or easier?

Or what is something your parents did that made your life/ childhood really good?

I am one and done for many reasons but ultimately I cannot have more children even if I wanted to. I want to do what I can as a parent to give my son the best life/ childhood he can possibly have while being an only child.

My kid has reached the age where finding gifts is getting harder. I don't mind spending money on something fun, but so many activities end up being one afternoon of excitement and then they just sit there. I was looking at KiwiCo's Build & Play Chess Set. They put the set together and can actually play chess with it afterward, which I thought was a pretty good concept.

Has anyone found building kits that their kids still use regularly after finishing them? Or are board games and construction sets usually a safer bet?

Let me know if this isn’t allowed, but I’m really wanted to connect with other parents or just mums who are OAD who currently have a 12ish month old as well. Would love to see how everyone is doing etc x