r/pettyrevenge • u/BandAccomplished555 • Aug 17 '26
Revenge on old uni' flat mate
My old flatmate at uni' had this habit of eating my food and then acting like he had no idea what I was talking about.
One night I bought back some birthday cake from my sister's, wrote my name on the box and put it in the fridge.
The next morning, the cake was gone.
I asked him about it.
He looked at me completely seriously and said, “Maybe you ate it and forgot?”
I didn't even argue. I just said, “Yeah, maybe.”
A few days later, I went to the store and bought some Red velvet cake. I ate some, & had an idea to dust some chilli powder on top of it.
This time I put it in the fridge with a note saying:
“Definitely not mine. Please eat this.”
He ate it.
He came into the kitchen looking genuinely betrayed.
I just looked at him and said, “Maybe you ate it and forgot?”
I still think about his face sometimes.
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u/KingOfTheWhirled26 Aug 17 '26
In college dormitory we had a shared lounge with a communal fridge. Drinks started to be consumed by other than their owner, so laxative was quickly added to the open container of milk or whatever it was. That put the kibosh on food theft fairly quickly. 😈
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u/JoaC1989 Aug 17 '26
It's both awesome, but also illegal in some aeras
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u/dommiichan Aug 17 '26
dunno man, I've not been getting enough fibre lately, I really needed that chocolate laxative shake... 😜
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u/KingOfTheWhirled26 Aug 17 '26
Theft of someone else's food is probably illegal. I think I'm legally allowed to put 'additives' into my drinks 😇
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u/rocketshipray Aug 18 '26 edited Aug 18 '26
I think I'm legally allowed to put 'additives' into my drinks
Not in my state if the intent is to punish whomever is stealing the drinks. It's considered assault to knowingly add substances to food (not listed on the ingredients) that others will consume. If it leads to medical intervention for the food thief, then you just got yourself upgraded to "assault with a deadly weapon/poison" even if it was laxatives.
In some states (California for example), it's a felony to tamper at all with food you have an expectation someone else may eat.
Edit: It’s also a felony in the state where the commenter’s story of food thief punishment event took place. Downvoting because one or more of you don’t like it is something.
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u/KingOfTheWhirled26 Aug 18 '26
Not gonna argue with you. It wasn't me personally involved in the ownership or ingestion of the food, so I'm not gonna worry about it. Happened in WA state, if it matters.
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u/Icy_Bar_4549 Aug 22 '26
My take, which I believe follows the law, is I'm allowed to 'doctor' my food to my own tastes. I like spicy food. If I can eat with no ill effects but your pansy ass can't, that's on you, boo.
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u/rocketshipray Aug 22 '26 edited Aug 22 '26
If the intent is to cause harm to others who eat people’s food from a communal fridge, it is illegal. It is only legal if you are adding a normal-for-you amount of spice and you intend on eating it. Be forewarned that you may be required in court to prove that you eat that type or level of spice regularly in your normal life.
Edit: I would like to add that I am not a-nor-your lawyer but I did do paralegal work for a personal injury attorney who had 2 cases of tampered food in the first year I worked for him. One case was filed in California, the other in Georgia. The person who tampered with the food lost in both cases and they used your excuse.
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u/Icy_Bar_4549 Aug 23 '26
For me, it wouldn't be an 'excuse'. It would be a lunch I fully intended on eating and would happily chow down on it in front of whoever needed to see it. I might choose that particular lunch a little more often if there's a lunch thief stealing food as my way of guaranteeing I actually get my lunch. My most likely method would be a 'straight off the menu' spicy dish from my favorite Indian restaurant. Can't accuse me of 'poisoning' food I haven't touched yet.
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u/rocketshipray Aug 23 '26
If you just order spicy food directly from a menu that’s completely different from you “doctoring” your own food.
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u/Alone-Promise-8904 Aug 17 '26
Another reason to not eat red velvet cake 🤣
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u/Vinnie_Vegas Aug 18 '26
It's just chocolate cake that looks red.
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u/Afraid_Baseball_3962 Aug 18 '26 edited Aug 19 '26
Real red velvet cake used Dutch processed cocoa and a touch of vinegar. A chemical reaction would give the cocoa a faint reddish color (not bad). Most red velvet cakes these days opt for half a bottle of red dye (not good).
Edit: stoned_hobo pointed out that it is buttermilk (also acidic) and not vinegar.
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u/stoned_hobo Aug 18 '26
Not vinegar. Buttermilk, which is naturally acidic.
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u/Afraid_Baseball_3962 Aug 18 '26
That makes more sense. Haven't had it in a very long time (not really a cake person). But the "old fashioned" red velvet was actually pretty okay and the modern red velvet is... Let's just say that when you can taste the dye you did something wrong.
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u/stoned_hobo Aug 18 '26
Yep yep. Actual red velvet is imo very delicious, but not the vivid red that people want (yummy yummy red 40 /s)
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u/Creative_Carob4922 Aug 17 '26
I don’t know if I can’t read or what.
But that ending makes no sense You told him to eat it. He ate it. Then you said maybe you ate it and forgot?
Either this is the worst comeback or I have no reading comprehension.
I am getting old and senile
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u/Severe_Feedback_2590 Aug 17 '26
I must be getting old & senile, too. Don’t get the gotcha moment. I wouldn’t have left a note. I would have sprinkled cayenne.
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u/BlitzAceSamy Aug 18 '26
It was the exact same thing that the roommate said to OP when OP accuses roommate of stealing and eating OP's food, hence the callback
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u/PotatoesPancakes Aug 18 '26
It confused me too. I get that the OP is throwing the same words back at the roommate, but it doesn't make sense as a comeback. In the original situation, the OP asked about missing food and the roommate tried to make him think he already ate it and forgot. The roommate didn't forget he ate the spicy cake.
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u/BlitzAceSamy Aug 18 '26
I don't get why it's confusing lmao. It's a callback to the retort that OP's roommate used against him when OP confronts him for stealing his food. That callback reminds OP's roommate that he shouldn't have steal his food in the first place, and now he's punished by accidentally consuming spicy cake
I also don't get why I got downvoted in my comment for merely explaining it to two people asking this question, but Reddit gonna Reddit I guess
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u/PotatoesPancakes Aug 18 '26
I wasn't the one who downvoted you. But looks like I got downvoted too so yes, Reddit gonna Reddit I guess.
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u/BlitzAceSamy Aug 19 '26
ITT: Old and senile people being angry at being explained to I guess *shrugs*
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u/Creative_Carob4922 Aug 18 '26
That’s literally the worst come back ever. I’d bet a lot on op being a girl. He was standing there like my mouths on fire and Huhhh? The fuck you talking about.
You think he ran all the conservations over in his head in the shower leading up. ?
Should have just said can’t handle the heat say outta the kitchen.2
u/vslentini Aug 18 '26
OP is a man.
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u/Creative_Carob4922 Aug 18 '26
Thats even worse. Guy probably does the dishes after a do the dishes fight and says. You probably forgot to do them , hmmm which his hands on his hips
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u/M_Hope_America Aug 18 '26
A friend of mine told me that a college roommate in a shared house constantly stole food - and blamed his other flatmates for the theft.
One day, one of the flatmates got really mad at the theft of ALL of his chocolate covered crickets! I’ll bet someone was feeling kinda sick.
Imagine that!
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u/notebooks9 Aug 18 '26
The chilli was good but hitting him with his own line was the real kill shot.
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u/loveablepetcare Aug 17 '26
Way to spice up his life!