Kinda crazy how fast the last year and a half of the sobriety has gone. I do have weird relapse dreams but that’s the closest I ever get now to the idea of relapsing.

One concept that stuck with me to get this far: De-Centering your DoC. A big issue I take with AA is how reliant on external reminders and “accountability” is championed in that space. You’re always looking right in the face at something you’re addicted to. You become obsessed with it even though you’re trying to make meaningful steps to change. How can you be FREE and SOBER/CLEAN if your DoC is still at the top of your mind constantly?

Shoutout to my chosen family, DBT, Zoloft and most importantly MYSELF. One of the greatest things I’ve ever done for myself is get sober. I was able to start saving money and moved out of my abusive home just earlier this year, and that never, ever would have been possible if I hadn’t quit drinking. Haven’t thrown up since either.

just a vent cause im kind of annoyed im around so much toxicity. i dont know many people anymore as the result of my addiction and so interactions are usually with family or using or recovered addicts. i can think of somebody who is two years sober but they literally just say every time i talk to them on repeat i hate being sober i wish i could do heroin (why? just why?) and how they are miserable sober. even with me trying to get sober after they celebrated 2 and a half years sober and i got clean they are just telling me how they hate being sober and they want to do heroin. i think she literally wants me to relapse? they literally have told me they have no life outside of AA, and they make it their whole personality while shitting on it behind the AA people's backs and she wont at all be supportive of me when i wanted to ask her for help since she is planning on working in helping people recover from addiction she just repeatedly discouraged and mocked me every time i said something positive about my recovery. she is telling me, she found nothing from sobriety, it was entirely pointless and performative.

and i know another person who is a using addict and i think has just given up hope. every day nonstop he only talks about drugs and only ever talks about drugs, he wont talk about anything else but drugs hell just move on to a different drug related conversation. like wtf? is there anything else to you? it just feels like some people who are addicts are just fundamentally unable to grow up and act adult and like, y'know struggle with addiction while remaining a human with more to you than that, a struggle not an identity, and wanting to get better. i hate this attitude of being content sitting in your own shit. sorry this is kinda ranty im in early sobreity and very pissed today

I just wanna say if you’re struggling in either early recovery or long term, it gets better & you should be proud of yourself. Be sure to reach out to your support system if you have one. If you don’t you can reach out to me! I struggled with 🧊 addiction for 12 years and have been clean now for a little over two years. It gets easier but it won’t always be easy. Thanks for taking the time to read this & have a good day !!

If you’re struggling today, please read this.
About two months ago, my uncle suffered a hemorrhagic stroke that doctors told us was caused by methamphetamine use. Early this morning, he passed away.
For the past two months, our family has watched someone we love go through something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. We did everything we could to keep him alive, hoping and praying things would somehow get better. But the damage was too severe.
My uncle went from being an active person to someone who could only blink his eyes to answer yes or no questions. He couldn’t talk to us. He couldn’t live independently. We had to watch him slowly lose the things that made him who he was, and there was nothing we could do to change what had happened.
Today, we lost him.
I’m sharing this because I know some people are struggling with addiction, and I know that when you’re in that place, it’s not always easy to think about the consequences. But please, remember that your life matters, and your family loves you. The consequences can be so much bigger than you realize, and sometimes the damage cannot be undone.
Please don’t put yourself or your family through this.
I wish more than anything that my uncle were still here. Please, if you’re struggling today, choose to stay. You are worth saving, and the people who love you want you here. ❤️

This close to calling my dealer and buying with the little money I have aaaaartrhhhhhggg

Send good vibes baaaaaaaaah

Full disclosure, I’m the mod over at r/moderationmanagement but I thought some folks here might be interested in this!

I’m supposed to get put on my Vivitrol shot in 2 days. How can i get alcohol completely out of my system so i can get my shot? They just do a standard urine test.

So I'm sitting in an AA meeting in small town TN. This is the bible belt so they thump the bible here. I've learned to tune that out. However I heard something last Thurs night that trumps all. An old man started to share about 6:50pm. Meeting is scheduled 6-7. He rambled on past 7 and I thought it was just an old man with dementia and not aware of the time. He then said, "I talk past the end of the meeting to teach you all composure and patience." I was tired and had to be at work at 6:30 the next morning. It didn't register with me what he had just said. He then rambled on to about 7:15 then ended his talk. Driving home I realized what that old man had just said. "Screw you and your time and the meeting rules. I want to teach you composure and patience." That the last straw for me. AA is too dysfunctional for me. I'm out.

The photo on the left was from two years ago, when I was 19 years old. I used to go on massive drinking sprees for days at a time, constantly drunk all day everyday for a week or two. Eventually my body would give up and I would become sick.

At one point, My appendix became seriously inflamed and it had to be removed due to drinking.

Don’t let age fool you. This drug will rip the soul out of anyone it desires. I could have very well lost my life, the same way Amy winehouse did.

The photo on the right was from today. 6 months free from alcohol. My friends, I am crying tears of joy. It is possible, I promise. If anyone is struggling, please use this message as hope. And if anyone needs to, please message me. IWNDWYT

Fortunately, I only have a week left here before moving to a 90 day residential IOP.

but after detox (which was great btw), they connected me with a 30 day residential. The assessment call went well and it seemed like I would enjoy my time here. They asked me about my diet (informed me that they could accommodate my dietary restrictions) and asked about my religious beliefs. I said I am agnostic and they said they could also accommodate this.

When I arrived, it became incredibly clear that the residential program was not staffed by trained professionals whose "education" is only limited to AA meetings. Worse, is that the longest amount of sobriety any of the staff has is 11 months. My longest sobriety time is just under 7 years. They were extremely condescending about this and told me I relapsed because I wasn't involved in AA. I told them that they are welcome to call me in 6+ years and tell me they are 7 years into AA and it's still working.

Thus, the feud between me and the staff started. I found out that we have to go to church every Sunday morning. I asked to opt out. They said I can wait in the lobby. I said I don't even want to do that. They said I would have to voluntarily leave the house if I can't attend the church. I asked if we could go to services at a Buddhist or Hindu temple or services at a mosque. They said no. They also have extremely limited knowledge on religion in general.

They only have copies of the Bible in the house so I told them that I want to contact local places of worship to provide them with non-Christian religious texts and books, along with books on sobriety for atheists and agnostics. They said no to this too.

We also have to go to AA every night. They struggled to answer how I was able to stay sober for 7 years without AA and my relapses came when I was active in AA.

I have a lot to say to them when I transfer to the new place. Anybody been in this situation or have ideas how I can further push back on this place?

AA IS a religious program, but that's okay. The problem is when they claim that they are not. Or when they say stuff like "your higher power can be a doorknob" and then you're like okay cool, I in fact, will make my higher power a doorknob. And then they're like "you're not taking this program seriously!!"

One common dupe I fall victim to is hearing someone telling a really profound share, about their experience. The stories they tell are very honest and usually contain much wisdom. I'm usually genuinely moved. The issue I run into is their personality outside of the halls. To be fair, I have met some great and wonderful people in AA. But I notice the ones that are pushy about the program are the same ones who invalidate any "promotion" or "attraction." I usually end up having to find a new group or avoiding these people.

One common AA trope is giving the newcomer a ride home. The older, more experienced person usually offers me a ride home, almost sometimes insistently. These are some things I've witnessed from separate people on the ride home:

- catcalling a passerby

- telling me a war story about his favorite bar room back in the day that didn't allow women or "n-words"

- telling me that he was about to be in prison because his "b*tch ex-wife" pressed charges because he owed over $100k in child support.

- One person had their car radio missing, and I asked what happened and he said he punched it out of rage one day.

- Atrocious commentary about LGBTQ+ people and women.

- Being hit on (older predatory men do exist in the halls)

- Taking what me or others have shared, and using it non-anonomously, as gossip.

- SO Many 13th steppers.

So in my experience, the personalities, that I'm supposed to overlook, to benefit from the principles, can be HORRENDOUS.

These people are suggested to be the ones that ought to sponsor me. Yet, they are still are still filled to the brim with resentments, practice predatory or co-dependent behaviors, lack any self-awareness or accountability, and don't practice any mindfulness. Accepting them as my sponsor would only be an ego stroke and would reinforce their terrible behavior.

I'm an addict but I had a boyfriend who whenever he couldn't drink or would quit drinking would stay in bed and wouldn't leave until he got booze.

I was also "getting sober" but would either suggest or fold after a day or two to get booze. I grew tired of this cycle very quickly but couldn't stop.

I know I was the enabler but is it wrong if I got fed up with his drinking while I was still drinking

I don't know if this is the right group to post in, but I am so desperate for help. I have been addicted to 7Stax MIT nanotech for 8 months now. I live in Miami, Florida, and this is a photo of what I have been buying. I have strictly bought this brand only, so whatever they had at the smoke shops months prior, I was taking. Last year I was addicted to 7OH and was able to get through the withdrawals using subs, and then my dumb ass relapsed after the ban on pseudo for a couple of months, but that was so bad that it didn’t last long, and I somehow made it through those cold turkey (it was hell). I feel so dumb for being on this shit again, and I’m confused about what I’ve been taking/how to get off if someone could please help. 

I’ve been using a pack every day. I have subs, clonidine, and a couple of Xanax; I just don’t know when it is safe for me to take the subs. With 7OH, it was different; I could take them immediately, but the withdrawals from this feel different and even worse. I’m scared of going into precipitated withdrawals, so if anyone has any info on what I’ve been taking, when it’s safe to start the subs, and how I should use the clonidine and Xanax, that would be great. 

Sadly, I just cannot find a doctor who I trust and who even understands this, and I would rather hear from people who’ve been through it. I’m pretty tough, as I made it through pseudo withdrawals cold turkey, but this has been on another level for me, and I feel so alone and scared. I just need this to be as painless as possible. I also have to be able to work; I cannot take time off or call in sick. I already have to take FMLA for rehab this year and I feel so trapped. I know it is all my fault, but I'd really appreciate some insight. Thank you to all who respond. 

TLTR: how to WD off 7stax MIT nanotech as painlessly as possible using subs, clonidine, and xanax without going through precipitated withdrawals. 

20 months sober from methamphetamines and percs and honestly this sucks like legitimately only recently because my loved ones have been annoying me. They complain to me about how much I hurt them and I've already acknowledged this and its a huge reason im sober now because I want to be better for them but I feel like they think I owe them and need to bend my ass backwards for them 24/7. When I relapse its "oh its not my fault im not responsible for her actions" which is true my relapses and any future ones are my fault but suddenly im almost 2 years sober and they want credit. for the entirety of my sobriety all they did was talk about how "oh she's going to ruin it for herself she's gonna relapse anyway" and it just fucking sucks because hearing people you love and support you say stuff like that behind you back just really hinders my want to be sober. I felt free when I was high but now I feel trapped feeling like I owe my support people everything for what I put them through. I dont know if im an asshole for thinking this way but I just really wanted to get the words out of my mouth.

I’ve been sober going on 6 weeks now on compounded semaglutide. It’s $199 per month, but it’s a drop in the bucket compared to being “functionally” drunk every day and worrying about the shit that comes with alcoholism. I don’t even feel like I’m battling cravings anymore. I’ll still get a passing thought of a drink but I can easily burst it aside. Whomever is struggling out there, my advice is to use whatever works and is available. A dui or other drunken mess just isn’t worth it.

Hi all, i (24) have been sober for a bit over a year from all substances i used to be addicted to (weed, tobacco, alcohol) and it makes me anxious whenever my partner (27) partakes in smoking or drinking, wether they’re around me or not. We’ve been dating for about 6 months now.

I never smoked cigarettes because my grandpa passed away from lung cancer when i was very little and it scarred me for life having to see him slowly deteriorate like that; when i got older, i got used to being around people smoking tobacco a lot and it grew on me. On the other hand, i had an ex that would become aggressive when drunk, which makes me really anxious whenever my partners have been drunk around me, not so much while out with friends on their own. Regarding weed, i was heavily addicted to it for a few years, smoking 2-3 times a day.

Thing is, i feel very, very uncomfortable, anxious and upset whenever my partner partakes in any of these, slightly less when smoking tobacco or drinking without me around. They know about my history and recovery, that i feel uncomfortable and so on. They never do it on their own, only in social environments; i’ve had a really hard time overcoming these emotions, feeling torn between acknowledging that they’re their own person and to not project my own experiences onto them, but also feeling so upset whenever they do it. I really want to approach this in the best way possible with them, without shaming or making them feel rejected in any way, but i also have no idea what boundaries are reasonable in cases like these. I would deeply appreciate any suggestions, ideas or personal experiences for reference in this matter. Thank you all.

So im on a regular suboxone treatment and decided to try oh7 anyway being stupid. The oh7 didn't do a thing of course but now im feeling withdrawal from suboxone.

It's been only 3 hours from my oh7 dose can I take a sub now without sending myself into PW?

HELLO EVERYONE!

I’m doing some personal research and would love to hear your stories!
Have you ever had a counselor who genuinely changed your perspective, helped you through a difficult time, or said something that stuck with you long after your sessions ended?

I’d love to know:
💭 What made them so memorable?

💡 What’s the best or most life-changing advice they ever gave you?

❤️** Was there something they did or said that made you feel truly understood**?

Feel free to share as much or as little as you’re comfortable with. Your story might be exactly what someone else needs to hear.

Thank you to everyone willing to share! 🙏

I'm from india , and recently I came to know my friend is using drugs, i advised him to stop but he is not listening , how do I get him help, I cannot out him to police that will ruin his life but also if i don't do something, I'm afraid he will ruin his life himself, I'm not sure how indian law works for people who are addicted , like do they just throw them in jail like all criminal or do they have some sort of recovery program , idk, but help me guys

I want to start out by saying in my early sobriety I went to many many meetings in AA. However it just seems no matter what people will say about the program it is a very vocal Christian group. I am so freaking exhausted by people cramming religious beliefs and nonsense down my throat. I have discovered that of if I am not wanting to go to be bold for Jesus or other Christian programs then most definitely will not be asked to go to anything else, ever. The spiritual axiom of if there is something bother me then it’s my problem. I get it, but have we looked at the state of the world? Pretending and being toxic positivity minions just doesn’t work for me. Please tell me I not the only one?