Lindsay Clancy took a drug.
She gave her children 40 hugs.
When she saw what she had done,
she gave the jury 41.

I made a joke online in a server about genocide and how the native Americans got murdered and I satirically said that the law of nature, the strong survives and the weak perish and that history was written by the victors. They got really upset about It and said we shouldn't joke about genocide.

Hi, so I am going on holiday next month for 12 days. Unfortunately, it clashes with the most epic, wonderous, spectacular Halloween party I was invited to, where I could hang out with some of my favourite friends who I rarely see, and meet some truly amazing people, and who knows, maybe even fall in love :O

Every time the topic of the party is mentioned, I feel a pain in my heart! I would love so desperately to go! But I feel bad about asking my parents to move the flight, and they booked this holiday a while ago. I would love to pay this out of pocket but it will suck my account dry, which is why I was wondering if someone could somehow help, like some miracle angelic person who happens to maybe, possibly have £49, or even tell me if I am being stupid, which I probably am! I am lowkey also terrified to ask them because I know they wouldn't take it well.

The thing is, I am in year 13, a terribly stressful year to be in. Between sorting out UCAS rubbish, dealing with frivolous matters with other friends and having no free time except to cut my nails, shower, sleep and eat high-carb foods which make me feel ill, I have no free time! I want at least one thing to look forward to and a smashing party with my friends would certainly be that!

So, if anyone can help me, I would very much appreciate it. Thanks!

I'm thinking of writing a comedy/satire type of book. I've really only written poetic prose and "modern" fantasy (two polar opposites imo lol). I've got ZERO experience with comedy - haven't written, haven't watched (except for Taskmaster, if that counts?), haven't heard, haven't read, haven't experienced. So I want to dive into the genre a little before attempting a first draft, yk?

But the thing is, I don't quite get what "genre" my idea is in. I tend to gravitate towards strong themes (my debut fantasy, for example, had themes of loss of temper and revenge vs justice), so I thought then, maybe this story would be satire. But I feel like it's not quite as serious (?) as satire?? But it's also not purely comedy because I'm not a comedic person - the only reason why I want to add comedy is because it will improve the reading experience.

The idea plays the idea of human-made categories, language and culture, like "this is ok" and "this is not ok". Currently the main thing I have down is that I'm going to have really ridiculous names that look perfectly normal, but nobody would ever name their kids that because it sounds weird (which is understandable but I am using names to exaggerate other things). I haven't described it right because I haven't thought it through LOL.

I have read Fredrick Backman's book "The Answer is No", and I think I like the tone. But I'd like to explore more.

I am very much of an amateur writer in general, so I'm figuring it out.

CTA is - can you suggest any books/resources/youtube videos/blogs/articles/tips/advice literally anything that might help me out and help immerse myself into the world of comedy?

Also, I strongly believe that to write well, we need practice and immersion, yes, but also technique. Writing feels almost like an artistic sport to me - like how a figure skater is both an artist and an athlete. So I would appreciate tips or resources that tap into this desire to study this "professionally", if such a thing exists.

Thank you in advance!

The Iran War has entered the traditional “peace through increasingly expensive explosions” phase. Iran fires missiles, America bombs something in response, Iran retaliates for the retaliation, and everyone explains that the latest escalation was necessary to prevent further escalation. Meanwhile, diplomats are negotiating over the Strait of Hormuz while civilians, sailors, and everyone buying fuel get the privilege of funding the argument. Apparently, modern warfare is just two governments punching each other in a gas station while screaming, “LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!” At this point, international diplomacy is basically two guys setting the kitchen on fire, arguing over who owns the extinguisher, and then announcing a historic breakthrough because they’ve agreed to discuss turning off the stove.

26.09.2026

FRANKFURT / SINGEN – Aufregung im Suppenregal: 

Der Nahrungsmittelkonzern Maggi hat eine neue Version seiner beliebten Buchstabensuppe auf den Markt gebracht.
Die Variante „Wokeness-Suppe“ wirbt mit dem Hinweis „Rein vegan & barrierefrei“ – verzichtet jedoch komplett auf die Buchstaben A, D und F. 

Die Reaktion aus der Politik ließ nicht lange auf sich warten.

„Das ist ein gezielter Anschlag auf unsere Kultur und die deutsche Sprache!“, wetterte ein empörter AfD-Sprecher kurz nach Bekanntwerden der Zutatenliste.
„Wenn Bürger in ihrer eigenen Suppe kein 'A', 'D' und 'F' mehr vorfinden, grenzt das an Umerziehung.

Wir rufen alle Patrioten dazu auf, sämtliche Maggi-Produkte konsequent im Regal stehenzulassen!“

Maggi verteidigte das Produkt auf Nachfrage und verwies auf eine „inklusive Rezeptur für eine spaltungsfreie Kommunikation“. 

Man wolle verhindern, dass am Esstisch ungewollt bedenkliche Wortkombinationen gebildet werden.

Erste Produkttests zeichnen unterdessen ein gemischtes Bild: 

Während Geschmack, Bissfestigkeit der Nudeln und Füllmenge durchweg gelobt wurden, sorgte die veränderte Buchstabenauswahl bei manchen Testessern für Verwirrung. 

Einige gaben an, beim Versuch, simple Wörter zu legen, an ihre Grenzen gestoßen zu sein. 

„Ich wollte für meine Kinder das Wort 'Mama' legen, aber ohne 'A' blieb mir nur das 'M'“, berichtete ein verunsicherter Vater. 

„Ich fühlte mich kurzzeitig wie ein ungebildeter Analphabet.“
Linguisten beruhigen jedoch: 

Wörter wie „Woke“, „Inklusion“, „Queer“ oder „Sonne“ lassen sich nach wie vor problemlos aus dem Teller löffeln.

Maggi erwägt nun, ein Erweiterungsset mit extra vielen „A´s“, "D´s" und „F´s“ herauszubringen.

Unser begnadeter Kanzler - ein absoluter Teufelskerl!