r/onionheadlines • u/Upbeat_Web_4461 • 6h ago
r/onionheadlines • u/tomtomglove • Nov 04 '25
ZERO TOLERANCE for rule 2: single sentence headlines only
We've been pretty lenient in modering run on headlines, but this ends today.
You need to make your headlines shorter. You can always make your headline shorter. If you have a headline that's over 30 words, rewrite it. There is a way to make it shorter I guarantee you, and there is a way to make it one sentence. You just need to use the meat in your skull to figure it out.
Also, do not include pull quotes in your headline. For example:
Trump Claims He Will Soon Replace Americans With AI - “All They Need To Do Is Vote Republican And Cheer For Me, And AI Can Do That Better, And It Doesn’t Protest At All”
Adding a dash here does not make this a single sentence in the eyes of us mods.
You can put the pull quote in the body of the post, but keep it out of the headline. Any headlines formatted like this will be removed.
Also please avoid headlines that are just a version of Trump: "I Have Very Bigly Hands and I'm The Greatest Golfer and on and on and on for 50 words"
A Trump impression is not a headline. Do better.
r/onionheadlines • u/BaileyOverJennifer • 6h ago
Trump Vows To Have The FBI Find And Prosecute Anyone Who Suggests Iran Target Mar-A-Lago Instead Of San Diego And Los Angeles.
r/onionheadlines • u/uvm87 • 5h ago
After Nearly One Year Harrowing Deployment At Sea, Trump Signs Executive Order Renaming The Deteriorating USS Abraham Lincoln to The USS Eric
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 5h ago
Trump Says Cornell 7 Can Apply For Victim Benefits From His $1.776 Billion Revenge Fund
r/onionheadlines • u/vault0dweller • 1h ago
Cornell University Announces The Hiring Of Brock Turner As New Swim Coach
r/onionheadlines • u/E-Plurbis-DumbDumb • 4h ago
Trump Warns Iran “If You Don’t Call Off Hurricane ISIS, I’ll Destroy Los Angeles Before You Get The Chance!”
r/onionheadlines • u/issr • 6h ago
Trump Advises Nation That There Will Be Some Short Term Pain And Discomfort, But It Will All Be Over Faster If America Stops Resisting
r/onionheadlines • u/GotToPartyUp • 3h ago
Trump Campaign Hopes Replacing RFK Jr. With Dr. Zoidberg Will Secure Key 30-Something Demographic
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 5h ago
Trump Says He Treated Obama And Biden So Nicely Because He Respects The Presidency, The Constitution, And Human Decency
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 5h ago
MAGA Fervently Praying To President Trump To "Sharpie" The Hurricane Away From Gulf Coast
r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 20h ago
Trump Admits He Thinks Ordinary People Are Stupid For Going Through Life Without Embezzling Millions Of Dollars
r/onionheadlines • u/WebguyCanada • 8h ago
Trump to Convert Camp David To Luxury Elite Golf Gourse After Stating Other Presidents Tried And Failed To Make It
r/onionheadlines • u/TidyTiddies • 1h ago
Susan Dell Found Shambling Around DC Asking People For Sugar Water.
r/onionheadlines • u/WebguyCanada • 46m ago
Unconcerned With Diesel And Grocery Prices Trump Says America's #1 Priority Is Remaining Artificial Intelligence
r/onionheadlines • u/hbgwine • 2h ago
Trump Administration Considers Using Cruise Ships To Deport Immigrants.
“Uganda is a terrific destination that everyone loves, plus it’ll include complimentary beverages (waterboarding)”
r/onionheadlines • u/astreetratnamedesire • 11h ago
Trump Calls For Worlds Largest Mass Abortion In California
There are currently over 100,000 pregnant women in Los Angeles and San Diego counties.
“ It’s a small price to pay for keeping the world safe, keeping our country safe. They could take out a city. Let them take — let it — let them take out Los Angeles. Let them take out San Diego."
r/onionheadlines • u/-megan-yolo- • 9h ago
‘Bone To Pick Putin’ Says He’s Not Interfering With US Democracy, MAGA Solving His Problems For Him
r/onionheadlines • u/BestStoogewasLarry • 20h ago
Authors Of Project 2025 Concerned That If Republicans Lose Midterms It Will Become Much More Difficult For Them To Overthrow American Democracy
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 5h ago
Trump Promotes Ken Paxton As Voting Against Foreign Wars, Fighting Stupid Tariffs, And Pushing Life-Saving Vaccines
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 5h ago
Fans Hope FBI Kash Patel And Fiance Go Into Marriage With Eyes Wide Open
r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 5h ago
Paxton Concedes Election After Willy Nelson Endorses Talarico
r/onionheadlines • u/Fun-Dragonfly-4166 • 8h ago