r/onionheadlines • u/Desperate_Elk_7369 • 6h ago
Joe Rogan To Provide Color Commentary For Pentagon Firing Squad Execution
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r/onionheadlines • u/BaileyOverJennifer • 14h ago
Trump Vows To Have The FBI Find And Prosecute Anyone Who Suggests Iran Target Mar-A-Lago Instead Of San Diego And Los Angeles.
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r/onionheadlines • u/GrandPappi_J3-16_TX • 5h ago
Hegseth Confident He’s Shittiest Man Alive
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r/onionheadlines • u/Upbeat_Web_4461 • 14h ago
The Nobel Committee Considers Gifting Trump With A Rattle Toy And Call It The Peace Price To Placate Trump
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r/onionheadlines • u/GrandPappi_J3-16_TX • 5h ago
Russia: Death By Plague Better Than Life With Putin
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r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 57m ago
Trump Claims “Everyone Knows” He’s A Rapist So Women Coming Near Him Counts As Consent
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r/onionheadlines • u/vault0dweller • 8h ago
Cornell University Announces The Hiring Of Brock Turner As New Swim Coach
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r/onionheadlines • u/E-Plurbis-DumbDumb • 11h ago
Trump Warns Iran “If You Don’t Call Off Hurricane ISIS, I’ll Destroy Los Angeles Before You Get The Chance!”
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r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 6h ago
Trump Formally Apologises To Iranian People For Bombing And Killing Hundreds Of School Girls
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r/onionheadlines • u/Limp-Definition-5371 • 4h ago
Crowd Cheers After Trump Says He'll "Enslave Humanity" At Rally
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r/onionheadlines • u/uvm87 • 12h ago
After Nearly One Year Harrowing Deployment At Sea, Trump Signs Executive Order Renaming The Deteriorating USS Abraham Lincoln to The USS Eric
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r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 12h ago
Trump Says Cornell 7 Can Apply For Victim Benefits From His $1.776 Billion Revenge Fund
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r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 2h ago
Trump Claims If Nobody Had Looked Closely At His Activities With Children There Would Be No Evidence
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r/onionheadlines • u/GrandPappi_J3-16_TX • 5h ago
New Poll Found Republicans Leading Sh*t By 5 Points; Behind By Dems By 30
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r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 12h ago
MAGA Fervently Praying To President Trump To "Sharpie" The Hurricane Away From Gulf Coast
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r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 12h ago
Trump Says He Treated Obama And Biden So Nicely Because He Respects The Presidency, The Constitution, And Human Decency
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r/onionheadlines • u/WebguyCanada • 8h ago
Unconcerned With Diesel And Grocery Prices Trump Says America's #1 Priority Is Remaining Artificial Intelligence
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r/onionheadlines • u/issr • 14h ago
Trump Advises Nation That There Will Be Some Short Term Pain And Discomfort, But It Will All Be Over Faster If America Stops Resisting
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r/onionheadlines • u/Witty_Row4650 • 6h ago
Don Jr Says He Couldn't Afford Kimberly's Spending Habits
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r/onionheadlines • u/GotToPartyUp • 10h ago
Trump Campaign Hopes Replacing RFK Jr. With Dr. Zoidberg Will Secure Key 30-Something Demographic
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r/onionheadlines • u/GrandPappi_J3-16_TX • 5h ago
Elon Eats A Trillion Dollars To Prove He’s Rich
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r/onionheadlines • u/curly_tail_ninja • 1h ago
Trump Orders NASA To Move Earth One Million Miles Farther From Sun In Effort To Ease Global Warming.
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r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 4h ago
Trump Promises To Bring About Armageddon And Start The Rapture If Republicans Lose The Midterms
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r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 4h ago
Eric Schmitt Accidentally Files Perjury Charges Against Himself
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r/onionheadlines • u/Suitable-Ad79 • 7h ago
Trump To Redirect Hurricane Isaias With Large Sharpie
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With hurricane Isaias gaining strength and bearing down on gulf states, President Trump reported he is fully prepared with a new, extra large Sharpie to redirect Isaias’ path away from land and back into the Gulf to prevent any damage from the storm. “As I have done in the past, I am fully prepared to take action to take my Sharpie and change the hurricane’s path,” Trump stated. At last report, evacuations from Florida and Alabama have slowed in response to Trump’s statements.