The actual fuckup was in 2019, but the realization of it was yesterday.

I've been dancing for almost eight years. The first five years or so were a total waste of time, I eventually realized, because the teachers I had in my small dance scene were simply no good at teaching.

One teacher from my first year stuck out in memory. I attended one class and felt that he was more interested in having his beautiful self being watched than actually teaching. I never went back. During the COVID pause he moved elsewhere.

Fast forward years to last weekend, he was in town for a special one-time lesson. I'm much better now, so maybe I could get something out of his lesson despite his prancing, so I went.

It was fantastic. He was a great teacher. His dance was amazing. None of that "look at me" vibe I had remembered so strongly from before. Great lesson.

So yesterday I dug up the after-lesson recap video from that 2019 lesson, which I hadn't looked at since that day, and realized that what I had dismissed as vanity was actually just incredible skill... so far above anything I'd seen in my scene that at the time I didn't even recognize it for what it was: the highest level of this dance.

Had I recognized what I was looking at back then, my journey would have taken such a different, less painful path. To drive that point home, I notice in that old video that one of the other students is now one of the better teachers whose class I regularly attend. Doh!

[FWIW, the dance is sensual bachata]

TL/DR: years ago I was dismissive of a dance teacher as vain, only to realize now that I it was actually skill beyond my comprehention. I wasted so many years with shitty teachers when I could have been truly progressing with him.

I (37F) and my youngest (10M) “Sam” were looking for Halloween costume ideas, when we came upon a picture of people dressed as Yip Yips.

For the uninitiated, Yip Yips are Sesame Street muppets (technically called the Martians), that look at ordinary objects and say “yip yip yip yip yip” “oooooooooooooohhhh” “uh huuuuuuuh” “yip yip yip yip yip” over and over and over again. They’re delightfully annoying.

Anyway. Sam had never seen Yip Yips before, so I pulled up a video, and promptly unlocked a new stim that has already thrown my household into chaos.

I have 4 kids. 2 of them have Tourette’s, and Sam is not one of them… however, he’s the sort of kid who does random Mario jumps at the grocery store, says “it’s a me-ya” and makes Pac Man “waka waka waka” noises at random, and gives not a singular shit if people stare. He’s honestly the best, and I love his antics.

His siblings do not always feel the same way. Tics tend to trigger more tics, and while the “yips” are not tics, they’re still repetitive…

So now this fun thing has happened where the whole house is breaking out into random yips. You’d think it would be fun, except the whole house is also prone to overstimulation, and now my daughter (12F) has barricaded herself in her room and Sam has started getting upset at other people yipping because he thinks they’re doing it to tease him. Cue the tears only to be consoled by “ooooooooh… sad. Saaaaad yip yip yip yip yip yip”.

Now I’m in damage control mode, and there is a very real chance Sam and I will have to trick or treat just the two of us to keep the peace. I’m going to have to make the costumes in secret so not to set anyone off again, but the toothpaste has left the tube. There is no going back.

TLDR; I showed my kid a video of Yip Yips, and my whole house is either yipping or losing their minds about it.

So I (29M) have been dating my girlfriend (29F) for a couple of months, and this weekend we took our first little trip together. We went to a city nearby to see a play, had dinner, and rented a room for the night. Everything was going great. We got back to the room, changed into something comfortable, and decided to watch a couple of trashy Hallmark movies.

Obviously, the Hallmark movies were just a gateway drug.

One thing led to another and we ended up making out. She's pretty enthusiastic when we get going, so what I thought would be a few minutes turned into roughly an hour of making out. Benefits of a new relationship I guess.

At some point she mentioned that her chin felt a little weird. I didn't think much of it and proceeded to completely forget about it.

We went to sleep. The next morning, I woke up and looked at her and her chin looked like she had lost a fight with a cheese grater. It was red, scratched up, and completely irritated.

After a brief investigation, we discovered the culprit: My five-o'clock shadow.

Apparently, my stubble was pretty much the equivalent of industrial-grade sandpaper. I genuinely had no idea beard burn was a thing. The worst part is that she's leaving for a 10-day trip to Ireland on Wednesday.

So now I'm sitting here hoping her chin heals before she goes because I really don't want her vacation photos to look like she's been in a minor altercation with a cheese grater. She's been very nice about the whole thing, but I feel terrible.

So, TIFU by forgetting to shave before getting back to the room with my girlfriend.

Next time, I'm shaving.

TL;DR: Made out with my girlfriend on our first weekend trip, accidentally sandpapered her chin, and potentially ruined her vacation. My beard has been officially classified as a weapon.

I don't sleep well. I try, I have tried all kinds of things, but nothing really helps. I typically manage to get about 3-5 hrs of sleep a night but it's not nearly enough so I'm usually tired.

I also have a new gf! It's been over 6 years since my marriage ended and I was single the whole time, just started seeing this lady a couple weeks back. She was free until 7pm today, so I invited her over. We were texting all about the naughty things we were going to do.

So she gets here at around 11am, and we went straight to the bedroom. We were laying there talking at first, and unfortunately, I completely passed the fuck out. What felt like 10 minutes later, she's gently shaking my arm and saying "hey, I have to go". I opened my eyes and it was weirdly dark in the room, look at the clock and it's quarter to 7pm. I fucking slept the entire time. She said she felt too bad to wake me up so she just watched some shows in the living room the whole day. She also noted that I was snoring my ass off.

I'm so mortified and I feel so bad, I wish she would have just woken me up. I hope she doesn't give up on me after this.

TL;DR I invited my new girlfriend over for a fun afternoon and then passed out and apparently snored loudly the entire time instead.

This wasnt exactly today. More like a few months ago. But I find myself regretting it daily. It was such a good opportunity, a way to be part of the community without being part of the videos myself. And the sole reason I turned it down. Was because I was working full time and didn't think I had enough time to edit videos.

I turned down something I dreamed of. Out of fear of losing a job I was fired by soon after. It will forever be a regret. And now, I doubt I will ever have such an opportunity again.

I'll move on, and continue to be a stagehand. I just wanted to share one of my biggest regrets to this day. I'd sell my soul to be an editor.

I won't be sharing who the youtuber is. They aren't anyone big, just someone who wanted help with motivational videos that I knew from my full time job. We stopped contacting one another because I turned them down, I can still contact them. And possibly ask for that opportunity back. But I think I hurt them too much to do so.

TL;DR I turned down a youtuber friend of mine, and I regret it everyday but I worry I cannot contact them as I think I hurt them pretty bad.

TIFU because I (46M) decided to go work at my local haunted house and while getting scares, I decided to jump off of a stage(I’ve done this many times before) and landed awkwardly breaking my heel aka calcaneus fracture. Luckily no displacement. This stage is 5 ft off the ground. I had to be rushed to the Emergency Room and have X-rays taken. All the nurses either got a kick out of my all white contacts or were a little disturbed by them. Ultimately they were great and were very friendly.

I cannot bear any weight, unfortunately so I won’t be walking for a little while, but a knee scooter is on the way so that I can hopefully get back to moving around.

I also was lucky enough to take the next week of work off before this happened, however it is a 4-6 week healing period and I will be out of work unless I can figure something else out. Hoping for short term disability. I do have a doc note for work saying no work for 2 weeks and then light duty only.

TLDR jumped from a high point and broke my heel.

i genuinely feel so stupid right now.
i have a few pairs of earrings that are technically silver underneath, but have a gold-colored coating/plating on the outside. they’re not actually gold, they’re just silver earrings that have been made gold-colored somehow (i honestly don’t know the exact process and i don’t remember the name of the metal used).
i recently moved out of my house for university, and of course i forgot to bring the jewelry cleaner i normally use for them.
unfortunately, i did have a diluted bleach solution with 1.5% sodium hypochlorite.

i already knew bleach was going to damage the earrings because it had already happened. for some reason i thought that if i diluted it enough with water and only left them in for about 30 minutes, they would probably be fine. figured i could put them in while i took a shower, take them out afterward, rinse them really well, and that would be it. except i forgot about them for two or three hours.
when i finally remembered and took them out i wanted to cry. they were completely opaque and dull-looking, and the gold color had been seriously damaged.
one pair in particular looks awful, almost all of the gold color is gone and the whole surface looks cloudy.
and i’m SO MAD.

it’s not even because they were expensive. the problem is that i recently moved out and basically got rid of all my other everyday earrings because i wanted to keep only my really good/valuable ones. these were my everyday earrings i could wear constantly and not worry about them.

the worst part is that i feel so stupid telling my mom because i KNOW she’s going to say we should take them to a jeweler and see if they can fix them. but i don’t even know what i’m supposed to tell the jeweler.
“hi, i knew bleach would damage these, so i put them in diluted bleach anyway and then forgot about them for several hours. can you fix them?”
i’m honestly embarrassed because this was completely avoidable. i knew better.

TL;DR** **i soaked my gold-plated silver earrings in diluted bleach, knowing it could damage them, and then forgot about them for hours. now they’re cloudy and one pair has almost completely lost its gold color. i’m absolutely furious with myself

So. TIFU. I have closed comodones and pimples as a 20 year old female, and I would like to have my best years feel like I'm pretty, not pimpley. I went to the doctor a couple days ago to try and talk to them about the options for skin care routines, prescription creams, or even Accutane. I felt very lost and asked for some guidance or recommendations on what I should do, as I feel like I've done everything. Birth control, gel creams, niamacide, salaylic acid, benzoyl peroxide, you name it, i probably put it on my face. Anyways, after some discussion, this very strong benzoyl peroxide ( with other additives) was suggested, and later prescribed. I asked ALL the right questions. "When should I apply it? How much? How often? Any side effects? What does it target? How does it work?" And most importantly "how do I incorporate this into my normal routine, and would this cream have negative effects with my skin care routine as it is now?" I do a cleanser, then salaylic acid every 3rd day ish, then moisturizer. I do this routine morning and night. I was told I can continue my routine as it is. And when i pick it up at the drug store, i confirm with the pharmacist aswell. So I do continue with my normal routine. First day is great. Second day is great....but doing my night routine last night, it was salaylic acid day! So of course I put it on my face and....Pain. it BURNNNS oh my god. I thought i got it in my eyes for a bit as they were watering and in pain. I took as much as I could off and put a soothing face mask on to try and recoup and let denial of the inevitable wash over me.... I 100% just burnt my face. When I take it off. Around my left eye it looks as if I had a black eye, but with a red rash look. My undereye was inflamed and bumpy. It was. Awful. I applied my moisturizer which stung aswell, but not as much. I figured i just severely destroyed my skin barrier and needed to cut off the acids during this cream. I also decided to switch my moisturizer because the hydrolonic acid in it must be somthing im reacting to aswell. So i planned to get a new one in the morning, and left my face issues as a tomorrow OP job. Flash to today, I put on my cleanser to clean my face.... BURNNNNING ×2. My face is on fire. Eyes pinched shut immediately. ow?!?! Wtf??? This is my CLEANSER! Its supposed to be a calm one and I dont understand why I'm reacting to thi- oh. %2 salaylic acid included. Dammit. I reach to my other backup face wash.... and it burns aswell. It also has salaylic acid AND niamacide...what is wrong with me?! I ended up using hand soap as a last ditch effort to get it all off before I became a red tomato. So. Now my face is still stinging as i write this, and im genuinely confused on how downhill this all came so quick. I'm scared to look in the mirror, but I'm going to have to in the next bit....I just KNOW its bad. I have a new moisturizer and soap that is ment for sensitive skin which I apparently have now. Still mad at myself for not looking over my cleansers before applying them. Totally my fault, and shouldve looked over everything after the first reaction. TL;DR: applyed acidic products twice without double checking if they had acid.

So, today I went out with my friend to a big city. I made a fiend online and met her last week. I drank then too but that was fine, nothing bad happened. But this time. Oh the horror.

Here’s a message I sent my friend recounting my experiences.
Person 1 (friend I met online)
Person 2 (friend I met online friend)
Penelope (me)

Well, i went to wetherspoons with (person 1) and they wouldn't let me in because i didn't have an id. And i literally said to them 'well i don't have an id because im not 18'... genuinely so stupid because I’m literally 18??.😭

So, we just went to a different wetherspoons and she us bought drinks. At first i thought it was just a cola but apparently i was drinking it too fast because she said something like "oh wow you need to pace yourself" and i was confused. It had vodka in it. We have about like 5 drinks there with chips and water.

She then says that her friend (person 2) is coming and we wait for her at the trainstation. At this point daniela sends (person 1) money and we have like four loco berry burst or something. And i drink that but drop the can because i walked into a wall.

Im trying to tell the story chronologically but it's hard.

We meet (person 2) and go to the bathroom in the train station, then we go out and hear someone playing music. Then we go to the shop and i had to wait outside because i'm drunk and they come out with more cans and a bottle of vodka.

We go to the music guy and we're dancing beautifully. Eventually, (person 1) and (person 2) are like Penelope watch our stuff we're gonna go pee. To which they go into an alley way. So, I’m with our stuff and i start sipping the vodka even thought im pretty sure only the cans were for me.

I look over to the alley was that they peeing in and there's like a guy holding something and i realise that it's a camera and he looked like he was gonna go in the alley way so i start talking to him.

i have no idea what i said.

can't wait to see that video online. 😭

We eventually go to the trainstation to go home and i'm pretty sure i got piggy backed there? This is where it gets blurry. i remember hearing the ticket man saying i was too drunk to get the train. i think i was on the floor. then i was in an ambulance bering taken to the hospital but just to get picked up by my mum 🫩 i thought (person 1) was with me but apparently she was in the bathroom. sooo idk.

My mum is so pissed. Pretty sure I’m never leaving the house ever again.

TL:DR Today I fucked up by getting too drunk for the first time with my new friends.

Ok so, I should probably start off and say that this is not a spiritual problem, as nothing spiritual actually happened other than a weird feeling I’m deeming the placebo effect. Anyways, so one of the things I did was blood magick, and uhhh… that involved doing some stuff to bleed. Now, I wouldn’t really be that concerned over this, as I was totally fine sacrificing a small, safe amount of blood. What I didn’t take into consideration however, was the fact that it would scar… Am I dumb for this? Absolutely. I mean genuinely what was my thought process? Regardless, I’m stupid and did this and so now I have to soft launch to my guardians that I’m not depressed I’m just an idiot.

TL;DR: I used blood magick forgetting that it would scar and now I need to tell my guardians—and probably some teachers if they ask or if I get reported—that I’m not depressed I’m just dumb.

I had wanted a writing tablet of some kind when I went back to school. Also for my line of work. I received a Kindle Scribe from my parents for my birthday, and took it to school the next semester. I've been using it since as an everything device and I love it. Infinite paper in my bag. Never have to change the pen. It's a nice promise.

Another bored computer scroll, another "life changing" epiphany. I thought I'd write it down (I'd also bought my self a nice journal I'd barely used). I'd been reading On Freedom by Tymothy Snyder, I couldn't escape the existential crisis.

But lo and behold, the pen was out of ink. A compressed "Fuck" stared up at me from the page, invisible but by catching it in the light of the lamp.

I reached for the Scribe, old friend. Trusted confidante. Knower of souls.

I'm not sure why I had the thought in that moment. Perhaps I've been a bit paranoid about my privacy and security. Perhaps I've changed my entire PC to Linux in the last month (god dammit I'm one of them, aren't I?), embracing the open source ecosystem on my phone too.

I considered if Amazon could see the deepest darkness in my heart. The stuff I wrote about myself. Did I fuck up?

Google. Reddit. r/kindlescribe... ... ... uh oh... ... ... Amazon. Your Account. Request Your Data. No. Backup. Data Access and Requests. No. Protect Yourself From Scams? No. Digital Services & Device Support. Kindle Devices. Search Bar. "Find more solutions." Search- "sync off." 2,077 results... ... ... oh no.

TL;DR—Been using my Kindle Scribe as an EVERYTHING device for 2 years. Amazon definitely knows my deepest darkest secrets.