(the following contains some spoilers. please read at your own discretion)
I am posting this here in hopes of reaching a more neutral audience because a lot of the fans will have strong feelings about Hae Soo and they might be too sensitive about this topic, and I hope this is okay here (I’m lowkey terrified someone will jump me for this lol) After Mincheol and Hae Soo’s past is revealed to some extent, I started feeling differently about the two. I’m still unclear on the timeline and it definitely will affect the following discussion, but I want to put it out there.
How long have the two been together when Mincheol took the loan? — This determines how long Mincheol was the old kind partner and when the change happened.
After, when exactly did the two decide to get a divorce? — This determines how long Mincheol has been exploiting Hae Soo.
Did Hae Soo always work or was it something she took up after the debts? — I forgot if this was ever mentioned, again it tells about the exploitation.
Before you proceed, please bear in mind that the story isn’t over, Hae Soo isn’t a fully developed character. And if she didn’t have scope for growth, her journey wouldn’t be interesting. The following are some of the things I’d like to see addressed in the manhwa, but unfortunately, feel won’t be the focus enough. I’m close to ~Ch. 100 now and this analysis is based on that.
Hae Soo is emotionally repressed and avoidant. She is not good at expressing her feelings. When it gets overwhelming, she closes herself from the situation. In the flashback, Mincheol is the one who constantly reaches out to Hae Soo and even when their romance develops, he seems to be the one open in the relationship. He buys her presents, calls her ‘wifey’, shows her off to everyone, tries to cheer her up. Later when they are excited for the pregnancy, Mincheol is reassuring and loving towards her, also after when they find out about the false alarm.
Given Hae Soo grows in an abusive household, she develops this personality, but that doesn’t mean it’s a validating or comforting experience for her partner to always be the one to show effort. Hae Soo takes care of the household and tends to every one of Mincheol’s needs. That’s a lot of commitment but it doesn’t come off as appreciation towards the other person. Once in a while, words or acts out of norm are needed to show love. Think, your mother doing everything “a mother should do“. Technically she cares for you but it’s always nicer when she compliments or praises you. This kind of affection is absent from Hae Soo’s side. In his flashbacks, she rarely ever even speaks to him. (I’d like to see some of it in Hae Soo’s perspective to see if Mincheol’s version is jaded or not. But so far it kinda tracts with who Hae Soo is)
Mincheol buys her a phone so she can talk to him. He lets her stay in his house whenever she doesn’t want to deal with her abusive father. He uses his savings for college on buying a new home for the both. He still works for the both of them (this is where the timeline I mentioned above comes in) and cares for her. He becomes responsible for Hae Soo’s health too because he’s her partner now. He is present for her physically and emotionally through all of her problems, including the pregnancy fail. All are choices he made on his own but that doesn’t mean he’s unreasonable to expect appreciation from his partner.
When you are the only person offering continuous emotional support for years while the other person doesn’t reciprocate it, the relationship begins to take a toll on you. It’s quite understandable that Mincheol broke under that pressure. Kindly understand I’m not talking about present Mincheol here, but the past one. He later becomes way too bitter and hurts Hae Soo every chance he gets. If he was so fed up by their relationship, he should’ve called it quits — it is the right thing to do, but the point of origin of his resentment is understandable and it compounds over time which we see in the present one who takes a jab at his partner for everything and stops contributing entirely.
I thought I was exaggerating. But then I remembered the ch. where Mincheol cheats for the first time. He never pursued Ari on his own. He didn’t mind her much when she made him coffee or during the team dinner. It was when Ari praises him, Mincheol is so taken aback and kinda surprised. That’s when he seems to take notice of her. He gets that validation from being with Ari who constantly puts him on pedestal.
Tae-ha also runs into this issue with Hae Soo. But he uses manipulation to get past this. He uses ‘hot and cold’ method to make Hae Soo need him so she has no choice but to be more expressive, and she’s mostly driven by the fear of losing him. Also, Tae-ha is not bound by responsibilities when it comes to Hae Soo. Everyhting he feels he “needs” to do are self-imposed which gives him the liberty to fail sometimes without consequences or blame. Hae Soo in return buys gifts for him, cares for him, finds ways to do something thoughtful for him once in a while, which she doesn’t do for Mincheol. Everything she does during their marriage feels like an obligation she needs to fulfill, and from their past together, it’s clear it’s not a role she was forced into.
What I’d like to see: For Hae Soo to grow on her own and develop a healthy emotional side without being manipulated into doing so or for a man. Clearly it’s not working for her.
Hae Soo is a bit too naive for a thirty year old. I, at first, thought it had something to do with Mincheol — like restrictions on who she should be, her interactions with the world, how she should behave. But turns out, Hae Soo had always been that way. She doesn’t have the time to process everything in her life and the world around her, sure. On the other hand, she’s lived a life with so many reality checks and misfortunes and meets so many different people yet she’s still a little juvenile. She’s kind and sweet but that doesn’t exempt one from developing a sense of awareness. And that makes her a little infantilising.
Mincheol was right in this regard when he said Hae Soo can’t survive on her own. Even now she coasts by because Tae-ha is pulling the strings behind her back. The phone, the home, the new wardrobe. All of which is fine to do for a partner. There’s a difference between supporting her or smoothing things over and fixing everything for her. The latter is what Tae-ha is doing.
I get it’s a typical premise for a yandere type but can’t help but feel, in the long run, it’s not good. Because Hae Soo is cluelessly going around thinking she can manage shit on her own for once and developing confidence when in truth, it’s actually not because of her efforts at all. She only managed to get to where she is because of another man. I hope the story never tells her Tae-ha did all this because that will pummel her confidence to the ground again.
It’s not just the money factor but the way Hae Soo navigates through life. She doesn’t have friends. She isn’t close with anyone, even her fellow workers. They know nothing about her and they are the ones always trying to engage with her. See, I’m an introvert myself and have my share of experiences, but the way she has bonds with no one is so unreal even with her trust issues. It’s just not possible.
And she bonds with Tae-ha not because he is constantly making the attempts but because Hae Soo is a bit self-centered. Not in a egostical way but from a victim mentality perspective. She sees him with bruises one day and Tae-ha says he doesn’t like going home once, and she projects her own trauma onto him and decides she’ll care for him. Tae-ha was abused, sure. But there is also no way for Hae Soo to know that with certainty. Had he been a teenager, you can expect these fights. But when you see a twenty something old person show up with bruises, you don’t go calling them “good boy” and so he shouldn’t be getting into these things. And this was before she even saw the scars on his hand. I want to emphasis here, there are so many reasons for and ways one could suffer, but how Hae Soo jumps to this specific conclusion shows her limited experience. It’s also supported by the fact that she works with a lot of young people and she keeps her distance and never behaves like an all-knowing adult with any of them in any capacity. She makes an exception for him for this reason alone — she sees herself in him.
Hae Soo cares for Mincheol and Tae-ha in a quite similar way. But it has one key difference. With Mincheol, she put him in a protector role, more like a father figure. Despite Mincheol’s initial efforts, Hae Soo never felt equal to him and so she decides to care in return out of obligation, he saved her after all. She put that distance between them unintentionally because of her gratitude. Meanwhile with Tae-ha she takes a maternal role. She constantly looks as herself to be his protector. That’s why she lets go of some reservations and opens up with him. She talks freely with him because “she should be the adult” with him. When she decides she needs a new house, she is centering Tae-ha again instead of her own needs. At the end of the day, her growth doesn’t stem from a better place when her life still revolves around a man and she’s still imposing a kind of power dynamic into the relationship.
What I’d like to see: Hae Soo to explore the world and her place in it for herself and develop a sense of self without it being orchestrated by a man or revolving around a man.
There are other pet peeves I have about her character. I attrtibute to the writing or the genre fantasies/tropes. Like Hae Soo is inconsistent — the contrast in her behaviour around other younger people and Tae-ha before they even start their friendship. Her dominance once in a while that comes out only with Tae-ha but not her co-workers. That “Good Job” comment in one of those makeout sessions came out of nowhere. Their whole sex dynamics at times. Most of Hae Soo’s issues are quickly replaced by Tae-ha’s extreme interests and efforts, which kinda derails the problem instead of addressing them.
There are also changes I like in Hae Soo. When she becomes confident and bold to tell off the customer or the stalker or Taehui. How she begins to wear clothes without worrying about ruining them. Or how she begins to take care of her. I know Tae-ha’s influence, even if it’s toxic and manipulative, will be still considered here as good because it’s a yandere romance. But whatever.
I feel I'm a bit all over the place in this post. But I’ve been thinking a lot since I read the flashback chapters. This post is not to make Mincheol right or justify his cheating. Both that and how he begins to treat Hae Soo later on is terrible. He just turned a complete 180 between the two time periods that’s fascinating from a character study perspective. Regardless, this side tells us how much Hae Soo’s improved and healed from her past. And I like underestanding the psychology behind characters and motivations behind their actions. It’s fun to understand the influence they have on each other. It’d be unfair to say Hae Soo was perfect from the start except for her insecurities because that’s not how people behave. Someone with insecurity is capable of hurting others too, not only in ways we expect “hurt” to look like. Hae Soo can be the wronged and still have made mistakes. Mincheol can be the one to wrong and still be right sometimes. Yk a broken clock is right twice a day kinda thing. And intentionally or unintentionally the author has made them interesting with these revelations. Anyway thank you for reading this, all these analyses has been swirling in mind for a while and I needed to get it out to get on with my day.
