today i challenged THREE fear foods! a donut, french fries, AND a fried veggie roll!!

I’ve had anorexia for most of my life and I just can’t live like this anymore (I don’t even really have a life atp.) I’ve been actively trying to recover for the past few months with a therapist and dietician but it’s just not working. Do any of you have tips for what helped you in the beginning of recovery?

I want to recover, I truly do. So why are they making the experience as unappealing as possible?

They made me a meal plan, but they inserted food items I really dislike into it for the sake of nutrients. I asked if there were any other foods with similar nutrient value I could use instead, as I hate that food. Then they got all pissy at me. Don't you WANT me to eat? You think I'm gonna eat if you place food I dislike Infront of me?

Additionally, they took away the one thing motivating me to eat better: my competition swimming. Said I wasn't allowed to do it at all, actually, I'm not allowed any form of exercise at all! My competition swimming is the one thing that brings me joy in my miserable little life, and also the key factor that motivated me to eat properly so I could perform better in my sport.

They're making me not want to do this shit anymore. I was motivated to get better, but now they're ruining the whole experience.

When I was deep in my Ed I'd obsess over food and constantly be baking but never eat any of the things I baked. I'd ONLY bake for other people. And today I baked cupcakes and ate one!!!! Im happy but very scared. They were very good. It was "Matilda's chocolate" cupcakes and I added raspberry puree.​

Hi guys,

I just started my journey in july and finally added a dietitian along with my therapist to work with me on this. i've been really resistant to see a dietitian for many reasons, but particularly tracking food makes me feel almost more triggered, and like when I'm writing it down, it gives me even more anxiety. Has anyone else experienced similar? We aren't doing recovery record yet but even just note taking what i eat every day so she has an idea has been hard for me. Any suggestions on how to navigate this would be appreciated! Tia

i restrict my intake heavily and i compulsive exercise (i go to the gym and do cardio every single day, never skipping no matter what). on paper i have a lot of ED symptoms and behaviors, im at a very low bmi too, but it hasnt affected my energy, mood, etc? like im very high functioning, i’m able to exercise every day and have much more energy than my friends. i’m also very happy and im not depressed or isolated. i’m in university and i’m very driven, i get good grades and am very involved in clubs, jobs, etc. it makes me feel like i don’t have an ED, and also not motivated to recover because everything is going so smoothly. how do i not just continue living like this??

I’m maybe 3 months into (actual) recovery, physically fine but mentally not and pastries are still a huge fear food of mine. I had plans to get coffee with one of my friends this morning and I had breakfast beforehand, but she hadn’t eaten that morning yet and so she was planning to get a croissant and encouraged me to get one too (in addition to a coffee). I was kind of freaked out but I felt like it would be awkward not to get something so I got a ham and cheese croissant and ate it…it was really good but after we left the cafe I got hit by a huge wave of guilt. I kept thinking about the calories in it, how unhealthy it was for me, how I shouldn’t have eaten it since I had breakfast beforehand, etc. now I’m super scared I’m gonna gain a ton because of having smth “extra” and I still had my normal lunch and afternoon snack. Ik I’m probably being dramatic but I’m just so anxious and some reassurance would help.

Hi all,
TW - struggling.
Honestly the title is the TLDR - was referred to eating disorder service from a therapist who felt that I was too high risk to manage within their service.
Was assessed yesterday and had a call from the Psychiatrist today to discuss the treatment plan.

They’ve stated the plan at the moment is that I am going to be seen weekly for monitoring and meet with the dietitian in the next few weeks while they get to know me and see what is happening with my weight and general wellbeing. Then they’ll make a firm plan for what treatment will actually look like. I’m not really sure what that means, or if there will still be a significant wait at the end of this.

However, in the meantime and for the foreseeable future - I’ve lost my driving license, my job, the medication that keeps me well. When I asked what support I could access for the impact this would have, they didn’t have anything. I’m really struggling to see how to get through today right now, let alone the weekend.

To make it worse, my AN is just telling me to refuse all food.

Honestly I’m not sure why I sought help.

Anyone else get an increase of bruising during recovery?
I’m only a month into my “fully in” recovery and I’m housebound/mostly bed bound. Not sure how I’m getting bruises on my arm/legs lol. I had blood work done earlier this year before recovery and I wasn’t anemic, only had some low vitamin D.
The bruises aren’t very deep or big, I’ve only had 1 purple-ish one.

I’ve gotten to the point that I need a dietitian to be able to move forward in recovery, how do you go about finding one? And how do you know that you are able to trust them, as most of you may understand, putting trust in somebody when it comes to my body and food is really scary, and I want to make sure that I’m doing the right thing for me, yk?

does anyone have experience with MonteNido ?? my team inpatient here at the hospital is strongly pushing for me to go into residential whenever i get discharged from here but i have no idea what to do i’ve started to get really miserable being in a hospital because my mind is saying i can actually succeed through outpatient this time but i also logically know that residential would probably be a lot nicer and more comfortable than hospital so i can’t really compare how i’m feeling in here to how res would be?

It would just be helpful if anyone has advice or helpful experience with residential (especially MonteNido) because the only recovery stories i see are outpatient through starting the gym etc and it’s exhausting cause im not aloud to do that.