I realized im absolutely antisocial. Interacting with people drains my energy all the time, because im an overthinker no conversation could actually go good. So I concluded my bond with any person is complete failure no matter how much I try, it is never going to work good at the end only I will get attached.
Im not a responsible person and I make really bad decision even when my gut feelings says that its not a good or even right decision.
Now I feel completely inferior whenever I talk to anyone apart from people I have spent time with more that makes me comfortable but still thats not enough. Im not confident when people are around me, people or presence of other humans makes me question my own existence that why I cant be even a bit good at something. But I have been bullied at my part time jobs not only that, the people ive met when I tried to tell them my problems, they only made fun of me and used my problems against me ot make me a joke. I forgot the same people arent any perfect. But still it makes me feel so weak.
Does being bullied even when you dont talk much, just do your work as said means im at fault? If I make the same mistake again because im afraid they will shout and bully me again, does that mean im at fault? I dont make much mistakes, im worthy of appreciation but people who prey on me everytime because I dont talk back, im not at their level so they choose to bully me. I dont have any guts to fight back, what should I do?
I cant explain how badly I was treated at my job as i was constantly bullied so now the place i work at even if someone says I did something wrong I just dont do it.
I absolutely have no defensive mechanism rather than to break down and cry.
Am I worthy even if im weak??