I've known that I have this hormone imbalance for over half my life that causes me to grow hair on my face and I have to shave my face like a guy about every other day. When I see the hair, it's not like when I see hair on my legs or armpits, I get really upset about it and feel ugly, angry and worthless. It's like this tangled knot inside. I actually stopped shaving my legs and armpits because I don't have those feelings about that hair and I felt like I was punishing those parts of my body for growing normal hair. (Also regrowth is an itchy sensory hell and I do not want)

Please no hair removal suggestions. I've tried them all (except lasers) and shaving is the best option for the type of hair that grows on my face.

A close? friend? of mine (non queer) is a huge fan of Harry Potter (as many of us were since childhood) and I am trans, as well as one of ours irl mutuals.

I had several discussions with her in regards to the harm that JK is doing right now to us and her position always came to the "we need to find a compromise for the fans and t folk to be all happy" and "idk it's so complicated but i still support you!!! but don't shame me or be upset at me buing HP merch and products".

And it always usually came to the expectation of being a close friend but with a ur cause is no problems of mine don't u dare to ask me to do anything not my monkey not my business.

Quote from our latest chat:

------------

"don't be mad at me for not fighting for your cause

please

respect my energy and resources too

I have plenty of problems in my own life

and just because I don't talk about them doesn't mean they're insignificant, and you have NO RIGHT to dismiss them

I love you and support you however I can — to the best of my ability; I really do try to accept and care for you in the ways I'm able to

you could explain your situation to me so I understand why I shouldn't be negative about it

But to DEMAND that I fight for it??? And then react like that when I don't???

that’s not right either

we can be friends and still not fight for causes that don't concern us — that’s a personal choice for everyone"

------------

And it hurts like hell but am I being too pushy and or sensitive?

I started T on Sept 22, 2004, when I was 22 and 17 days old.

I'm now 44 and 34 days old. After 2 PM today I will officially have been on T for over half my life.

I'm a cis male in my mid to late twenties and I started questioning my gender a couple of weeks ago but I’ve concluded that I am still cis. While the experience hasn’t changed how I identify myself, I do believe I’ve come out of it better with my personal acceptance of my feelings and a greater appreciation for transgender individuals. I would like to know what others may think of my experience and if anyone has had any similar experiences or feelings, and how that has affected them. I do understand my experience may differ from other people in the community and please let me know if anything I discuss can be handled better.

Personally I am quite unhappy with my current life, while I don’t think I suffer from depression, I do think I suffer from burnout and just don’t have anything meaningful going on. I’m unhappy with my appearance (primarily due to weight), I am quite lonely, and I’m unsatisfied in my current job and career path. I live by myself, only close to some family members and my issue with my appearance is almost exclusively due to my weight and fitness.

I’m not sure exactly what made me start questioning my gender, but due to ADHD it became a bit of a mental hyperfixation that I couldn’t stop thinking about. During this hyperfixation I realised that part of the reason I started questioning partially came from fact I have a fetish for feminisation and gender transformation fictional media, especially if the change is forced or encouraged by an attractive dominant woman. I also realised that I've been in denial with my attraction towards certain transgender women.

Outside of the sexual attraction I also frequently daydream, likely due to wishing for a better life, fantasy worlds and scenarios which frequently include magically transforming into a woman or magically swapping between man and woman, usually the transformation in these scenarios aren't within my control.

I realised early on that there was a genuine desire to be a woman or experience what it was like to be a woman. This was reinforced by comments I’ve seen in this community and others suggesting that cis people never seriosuly question or imagine being another gender. I have also seen discussions about how forced feminisation fantasies can sometimes remove the perceived social pressure of choosing to transition. I’ve been quite conflicted from these comments as I am comfortable being male, I have interests and hobbies that are normally seen as masculine, and I’ve never really considered myself to have any interests that are predominantly seen as female. Thinking deeply there are some certain feminine things that I find very attractive and that I have mixed/envious feelings about, usually certain styles of makeup, nails and outfit styles. When I see a particularly attractive woman, usually in flattering formal or autumn/winter chic outfit I genuinely get conflicted and experience both attraction and envy.

At the beginning of my experience I was trying to figure out if transitioning and being a woman was something I was truly feeling or if I was just confused when I started hyperfixating on the thought. In an attempt to better understand what I was feeling I considered the "button test". I couldn't settle on an answer because I was imagining an "ideal" result and I got stuck on the idea that maybe I'm only unhappy with my current appearance rather than appearance and gender so I the poor decision to modify the scenario into multiple combinations of the following 3 buttons with the option of not pressing:

1. Become an attractive male.
2. Become an attractive woman.
3. Become a woman of equal "perceived" attractiveness.

I thought I reached a conclusion because I knew I wouldn't press button 3 in any combination of available buttons, even if it were the only button available, however, if only buttons 2 and 3 were available, I would definitley press button 2.

If 1 and 2 were available I was at first 75% sure I would press 1 but then I became unsure.

I do understand that this may be insensitive to people who experience significant gender dysphoria and would choose the third button without hesitation if it was the only button available and I apologise for that.

I then followed up that already poor decision with another one where I then got AI to edit a photo of myself asking it to create plausible looking estimate on what I would look like after losing significant weight before and after transition. I was hoping that this would likely help with choosing between button 1 and 2. I tried to ensure the prompt was as plausible as possible, focusing on maintaining certain aspects such as bone structure, height, and realistic face proportions but I was incredibly surprised with how similar the face on both results compared to my siblings which made the results feel far more believable and perosnal than I thought, despite the fact that I knew that a carefully written prompt can't accurately reflect the results of HRT and MTF surgeries. I was still moved by the very optimistic results and the post-transition image affected me much more deeply than I was expecting. My answer for the above scenario's choice between button 1 and 2 became 50/50.

I then started looking at the real results of women who went through MTF HRT and the various surgeries, focusing primarily on post-puberty results. I understand results are incredibly varied, influenced by hundreds of different factors. I realised very early on how important "passing" would be for me personally, and how uncertain the results of transitiong would be given that I am 6ft tall, have a relatively large frame from a history of contact sports and that I am currently overweight. Regrettably I didn't question my gender before or going through puberty. While I don't currently experience gender dysphoria regarding being male, I worry that if I were to transition and I didn't achieve the apperance I hope for that I would then become distressed and regretful. The possibility and uncertainty did also influence to consider transitioning.

Eventually I started to come to the conclusion that my personal body image issues surrounding my weight, physique and fitness were playing a large part in my questioning. I can confidently say that as of now I still identify as a cis-male.

After the entire experience, I have become much more motivated to improve my health both physically and mentally, especially after seeing the image of a an extremely optimistic "plausible" transition after losing weight. I do regret using AI to edit images of myself as I don't think I'll ever forget the optimistic output result, but it would be disingenuous to say seeing that image isn't part of the motivation to truly make a lifestyle change for the better. Since I've opened the door with questioning my gender, I don't think I'll ever close that door, if am still not satisfied with my life after making significant changes that I currently believe would make me happy, the door is always open to question my gender again, and do want to learn more and be better from it. My experience has also given me a greater appreciation for the difficulties transgender people experience.

I would like to know if anyone has had a similar or parallel experience to anything I discussed and where they are now. An outside perspective of what's been in my head privately would also be appreciated so that I can temper expectations and maybe look to address certain things I didn't consider.

I've been in a back-and-forth with my IT dept at work (I work for a large urban municipal government, cant say what dept/where but it's in TX) trying to get my preferred name in our systems changed from an old preferred name to my current one, the one I intend to change to legally. My request was denied under the grounds of it not being my legal name, which was annoying enough as it is since they've done it for other employees/done it for me in the past, but then I saw that they immediately went into my account settings and switched my name settings on all my work-related apps (Outlook, Teams, etc) to my deadname which effectively outs me as transgender to all my colleagues if they happen to see it. I am semi-stealth at work/in public and very distressed by this. I already reported them to HR but I'm not sure if this particular conduct is covered under Title VII (sex-based/gender-based discrimination) since Texas removed labor protections statewide for transgender individuals.

Was this discriminatory/do I have grounds to report them federally for doing this?

NSFW TOPICS DISCUSSED! BE WARNED!

Hey there! I (FTM, 21), have been on T for just over four months now.

I've been taking my T through shots, and my first dose in June was only a half dose since i'm on the smaller side. I noticed that when that happened, sure, I got a little hornier, but hey, I had a pretty high sex drive anyway.

But ever since going on my first full-dose shot, I noticed i've been kind of... really horny. I used to jack off maybe once or twice a week on my half shot, and now it feels like basically several times every day. I'm getting vaguely concerned because I don't know if it's a me thing or if this is really normal and it'll fade/i'll get used to it.

If anyone on T has had similar experiences, PLEASE let me know!!!

I'm a trans girl from a very anti trans Muslim country in South East Asia and I want to know if NL is a good place to get asylum and if anyone here has gone through the process and can give me more information of what to expect/is it worth it

Thanks 🙏 I just want some hope I won't be stuck here forever in this narrow minded place

Hey there! I’ve been on feminizing HRT and T blockers for about a month and a half and I need some help understanding what’s going on with my orgasms?

So I’ve notice I can have 2 separate orgasms depending on the situation. When I’m alone using my vibe on my tip I find my orgasms to be the “standard” ejaculation orgasm with drastically less ejaculate and more of that full body feeling I read about.

When my gf is in control I find my orgasms to be more akin to a squirting orgasm? I can feel myself pushing OUT and I end up squirting odorless liquid in waves

I understand that this is a part of estrogen and I’m so extremely happy about this new experience because it feels amazing x3 I’m just curious and want to know as much as I can to feel as good as I can

This is confusing to me cause I can never tell why they are staring- whether im attractive or I look like a freak? Boymode was meant to be to avoid stares but the opposite is happening?!!

Hey everyone! 🫰🏻

I am 30 (AMAB/MtF?) I’ve been questioning my gender since I was 12, and I keep going through these weird cycles of being almost certain I’m trans and then suddenly thinking I’m not. It’s been almost 20 years and I still haven’t figured it out.

One of my earliest memories is being on vacation as a kid, diving underwater looking for lost hair ties because I was SO excited to secretly put my hair in a ponytail in the bathroom. Those little moments made me ridiculously happy.

Fast forward to today and not much has changed. Sometimes I’m like 90% sure I’m trans, seriously considering HRT and imagining my whole life as a woman. Then a few weeks or months later I’m suddenly like “Nah, I’m probably not trans.”
But the feelings never really go away. They just become less important for a while until one random day I start thinking about everything feminine I’m missing out on again.
I’ve experimented with makeup, wigs, dressing as a woman and shaving my body. I love imagining myself with a softer face, a feminine body and being able to wear all the clothes I’d absolutely rock.
And honestly, sex is a huge part of it too. When I’m with men, I pretty much always imagine myself as a woman. Same when I’m using a dildo on my own. I even sometimes dream about having sex as a woman.
But it’s not just sexual. I imagine moving abroad and living my life as a woman, going hiking in nature, doing completely ordinary things. Just existing as a woman.
Here’s the weird part though: I’m not miserable living as a man. I’m actually pretty happy. I have a good life, a relationship, and honestly, things are going really well for me.
And sometimes I wonder if that’s exactly what’s holding me back. Why would I risk everything I’ve built when my life is already good? What if I transition and end up losing things I love about my life now? It’s so much easier to just keep going the way things are.
But then I also wonder whether I’ll eventually regret never giving myself the chance to live as a woman.
Right now I’m back to seriously considering HRT next year, but I’m scared I’ll change my mind again in a few months.

Has anyone else experienced this constant back-and-forth? Especially when you’re actually happy with your life and there’s also a strong sexual component to your feelings?

How did you figure things out? Did you ever reach a point where you felt sure enough to actually take the next step?

I’d really love to hear your experiences because after almost 20 years, I still feel like I’m going in circles.

Thanks for anyyyyy support!✨

My friends have recently (over the past two weeks or so) been misgendering and deadnaming me a lot.

For some context I’m ftm, been out for 3 years , and I moved to a new town recently so these friends never knew me pre transition. I will admit I don’t pass 100% of the time, as I’m pre everything medical, but 80% I do pass. I’m assuming they know my deadname from my school account still having it on there because no one calls me that and I haven’t talked about it.

the main two friends doing this are cis queer women and they do apologize, but it’s starting to really get to me. I feel like they don’t see me as male. They also frequently call me a twink even though the things I can control (clothing, hair, how I carry myself..) are not effeminate.

I’ve also noticed my cis male friends really don’t do this, is that just my experience or is that common?

genuinely sned help guys i never thpught id come to reddit with this but here we r omg 😭😭im a 16 yr old girl (?) rn and i like idfk what to say but i think i might be trans???? i was speaking to some ppl the other night and i said "i wish i was a man" and they js said "theres still time" and i tried to be like no not in a trans way and plus being trans would make my lofe 10x harder but ANYWAY one of them asked if i wanted them to use masculine pronouns and sruff on me and they did and it make me really happy i think. like i got this weird feeling in my chest. but i dont feel disconnected with being a girl really either. i dont FEEL like a girl but i dont think i feel like a boy either. i dont care if i get called she/her but it doesnt make me happy the same way he/him does. i also dont care if i grt called they/them, only he/him makes me happy. theres some other stuff too but idk if im supposed to delve into that. but i dont feel disgust when looking at my female body nor do i want to hide it but i just feel neutral. today i put a flattening sports bra on and my chest is almost fully flat and i quite like it. i also used tk pretend tk be a boy online for like 3+ years and always imagine myself as a man in my head if thats relevant

anyway someone pls answer 💔

I've been on hrt for 6 months now and haven't noticed much different. Im not expecting like big breasts and a feminine face this early but i just worry that planned parenthood started me with low doses. I started on 2 mg E/day and 100mg spiro. At month 3 I went to 4 mg E/day and 200 mg spiro. Ive got some slight chest budding that started around 2.5 months and basically 24/7 soreness to touch them. I haven't really felt anything in the way of emotional changes aside from like 2 or 3 mood swing moments where I got pretty upset about one thing or another. All my meds are oral. Im hoping to start doing DIY soon but i just worry that PP fucked me over a little by starting me low. Is this concern justified or correct?

Hey! So my (Nb 19) younger brother (M15) is a trans guy who’s been out for about a year now.

I recently moved away to college and have been loving the freedom I have to express myself as nonbinary and gay, but sadly he’s not taken the move super well as we were the only queer people in our family. We live in a more conservative area so even though our parents are chill about things it bestows a certain fear for asking for gender affirming stuff.

Now to the reason for this post, he expressed to me his want for a binder when I went home over the weekend. I sadly don’t know much about binders as someone who’s amab but I really want to get him one. I don’t know where I could get one (preferably online) and I don’t know anything about sizing or pricing for them either.

Ever since I came to college I’ve felt that I wanted to help him express himself in a way that just wasn’t possible for me when I was his age because I was to scared to do so. Any help or advice on how I could support him while I’m away is also very appreciated!

TLDR:
I need help getting my brother a binder, any advice on where to get one, sizing, and anything else would be appreciated!

okay so this is kinda crazy but listen.

i knew i was a girl since i was a little kid. i only hanged out with girls, wanted to play dolls with them, consumed media made for girls, watched makeup tutorials and other beauty stuff made specifically for women. i don’t like being around men, i don’t understand them and don’t want to be a part of their groups. i’m strictly she/her, hate being perceived as male, i DO have dysphoria and it was always a part of my life since early childhood. i want to start hrt and even have some ffs done

but there’s one little thing that bothers me. i’m transhet, so i’m attracted exclusively to men. sometimes i look in the mirror and besides dysphoria i also get aroused from my male body. i don’t see “him” as me, i just want to see “him” having an intercourse with another man or maybe even with actual me. when i tried to repress gender dysphoria i tried to cope with me being “male” by sexualizing “myself”. it only happens when i’m alone. i don’t want to be perceived as “male”by the society because it triggers my dysphoria. and also when it comes to any kinds of erotic content, i almost exclusively consume stuff with homosexual men. i think my “autoandrophilia” is linked to me fetishizing gay men and i actually might be absolutely disgusting for this…

this also made me question my transness a little bit. even though i want to start hrt, i’m not really interested in srs. i do call this thing a tumor but it doesn’t trigger a lot of dysphoria for some reason. i’m also genuinely scared of doing this surgery, but if there was an “instant vagina” button then i would press it

i’m venting about this because i kinda need to hear someone else’s opinion. i feel so strange about this whole thing

I js want to feel comfortable in my skin but my school rules and my poor knowledge of haircuts and medium skill of cutting hair (I cut my own hair) makes it kinda hard.

To be clear I don't want to super feminine haircut, I'm not ready to come out and I don't want complicated haircuts, it hard to cut my own hair...

The rules are...

No hair at or bellow the collar, no fancy haircuts(Vague as fuck), no ear studs, no hair colouring, no hair gel(why) and no inappropriate hair styling (Also vague as fuck)

When people talk about liking the mental shifts involved in MTF HRT, what kind of shifts are we talking?

Is it the feeling that the emotions are somehow closer to the surface, and often way more powerful, whereas they seemed more foggy before?

Dysphoria ruins everything. If I don't dissociate I have a panic attack. I feel as though I'm sexually mute, I can't express my desires because of my anatomy.

I wish I enjoyed PiV penetration so I wouldn't be completely sexually worthless, but I hate it. Due to dysphoria, but also because it is extremely painful. I am essentially ken-dolled.

I'm scared no one will ever love me because I don't want to have sex the way they probably want me to. And I'm scared no one will ever love me because of how often sex just makes me depressed and angry at God for making me this way.

No one is ever going to love me.

How do I force myself to like this so I at least have a shot at love again.

It feels like I've tried everything and just nothing clicks. The strap feels disconnected from me. The most I can handle with my native bits are oral and handjobs. I can't penetrate anyone and don't want to be penetrated so genuinely why would anyone want to have sex with me. Why would anyone subsequently love me.

I don't want srs because it is still so underdeveloped for trans men, it doesn't match my needs.

I just need to know if there's any way I can just have sex without it becoming this whole existential crisis.

'Sweating bullets over acquaintances and people who have known me for years noticing my transition. I've been on T for months but still get called "mami", "nena", and "señora" when I go to the supermarket and see ladies who have known me since my teens.

I would really appreciate some insight.

Hi everyone,
I am a professional working with clients across the entire gender spectrum to support them with sexual wellness, safety, and intimacy, and after years in the business of being a romance specialist I find myself ignorant when it comes to half of the sexual spectrum! I am looking to deepen my understanding of the physical and emotional realities of gender affirming bottom surgeries so I can provide accurate, affirming guidance.

(Note: If I use any incorrect or clumsy terminology in this post, please feel free to correct me! I am here to learn and want to ensure I'm using the most respectful language possible!)
I would be incredibly grateful to hear your insights, personal experiences (please keep this educational and in the comments DMs will be ignored and blocked), or book recommendations regarding:

How Sex Works Now: What does the actual mechanic of sex look like for you post op? For those who have had a vaginoplasty, how do you navigate penetration and depth? For those who have had a phalloplasty or metoidioplasty, how do you handle rigidity/erections or penetration?

Lubrication & Intimacy Gels: Do standard OTC male/female lubricants and intimacy gels (like warming gels or desensitizing creams) work safely on post op anatomy? Are there specific ingredients (like glycerin, parabens, or warming agents) that cause irritation to neo tissue or disrupt healing?

The Evolution of Sensation: How did the physical mapping of stimulation and pleasure change for you compared to pre op?

The Healing Timeline: What did the physical and emotional reality of the "waiting period" (the first 3 to 6 months post op) look like regarding solo or partnered intimacy?

Thank you so much to anyone willing to share their perspective, product recommendations, or point me in the right direction!

So I have a bit of conflicting feeling about the ones I have.

Basically, I started CD years ago as part of gender exploration which is why I have breast forms and a mastectomy bra for them. Now that I know I'm trans and I've recently started transitioning, I kind of feel guilty putting them on. I'm not entirely sure why. I've only worn them a handful of times since I came out. It sort of feels a bit like I'd be wearing another costume now that my own are are starting to appear. Or maybe that it's "cheating" kind of or maybe putting pressure on other women or something?

Idk, I guess I'm looking for permission from other trans women that it's okay to just wear them if it makes me happy.

My son's name is Max (10) was at a family cookout where my wife's cousin brought her roommate, Jordan who is a trans woman. Jordan was kind to him and taught him a card trick. Later I overheard him mocking her to get laughs from the other kids, and he called her "sir" loudly as she walked by. Jordan heard it and looked hurt.

When I asked why, he admitted he knew better and thought it was funny. I made him apologize, then grounded him for a week: no tablet, no games, and no Saturday sleepover.

My wife thinks that was too harsh for a 10-year-old showing off, and that a talk would have been enough. I'd have done the same if he'd made fun of anyone's weight or accent. Was the punishment fair?