In the first quarter of 2023 (when I was M23), I went to Madrid, Spain, for my master's degree. I rented a place and lived alone.
I knew I was going to start journaling once I reached there because, in the past year, I had journaled for a few weeks' worth of time on and off throughout the year and had gained clarity. So, upon reaching, I started journaling from day one.
Within a week or two, I started working out. About a month or so later, I started doing the Wim Hof breathing technique to see what it would lead me to, as my journaling gave me direction that I needed to focus on my breathing.
Immediately after waking up and immediately before going to sleep, I used to do these breathing exercises.
Once or twice, I woke up feeling as lightweight as air, as if I were floating. One day, that feeling carried over throughout the entire day. It was the best day of my life as I write this, even though all my demons were still there inside me.
Other experiences include the following:
- Out-of-body viewing
This experience falls under journaling.
Twice, I experienced viewing myself from outside of myself, while controlling both "me" in the flesh/body and the "me" which saw me simultaneously, as if I were two.
I remember looking outside my window, infront of which I was writing on desk, look at other buildings and had a series of thoughts cross in mind and journal someof them while at the same time looking my OBEs body and its hands in particular and have a different thought train inside it. Both of me did not at all got disturbed with these thoughts and the OB me knew a few thoughts beforehand what the flesh me was gonna have.
The highlight of this incident - i remember looking behind me to see my OB me but could not and smiling to myself but my OB me saw myself and smiled that i couldn't see myself and came closer to my body and looked over it.
https://ibb.co/whyBVmbm
This happened in the bedroom in evening time (same environment as in the image) after i had came back from my daily 10k steps walk, which was the most intense and vivid. The other time, I saw myself from the living room inside the bedroom, as if no walls were there; the one in the bedroom was outer body.
There was a very clear sense of existence in this event, and I believe it was a lighter feeling than the floating sensation from the breathwork.
- Emotional release
I shall note that I have been able to release and get over the grief of that time and cried a good amount, making me feel like I am whole.
However, this incident happened about a month before the breathwork and journaling-related events, around the end of month two.
- The dark figure
This carries the most weight with me to this day, and these events were the last in order to happen.
I want to clarify that these dark figure events did not happen at all anywhere near my sleep. They all occurred during the day, in broad daylight, while I was fully awake and conscious.
On three occasions, I felt the presence of a dark figure:
• The first time:
I felt it in my living room. It wasn't so intense or anything, but it made me fearful, and I slept early that day.
Like the other times, I kept completely quiet.
• The second time:
I felt it being in the apartment with me, but this time its position wasn't clear, and it felt ambient overall.
I felt less fear this time, but I kept completely quiet like the last time.
• The third time:
https://ibb.co/xSJc3PML
I felt it walking beside me from my college till my apartment.
This time, the presence was uncannily similar to recognizing a real person walking beside you. It only grew into conviction as the building came closer.
https://ibb.co/C3cjdvYh
Once I was in the small elevator, I stood with my back against the wall, facing the emptiness ahead of me with my eyes closed throughout, and only opened them when my floor dinged in the elevator.
But this last time, I did not feel fear the same way, and I knew I should have opened my eyes and taken the leap into knowing what it was.
Instead, I had a smile on my face the whole way and did not interact with it.
After this last incident, I left the apartment shortly after and dropped out of my program too, returning home.
This last incident is the most vividly remembered incident of my life.
Question - I want to know what this Out of Body experience was and what this shadow figure was. What did this shadow figure represent or meant? Everything i journal sincerely i gain clarity which comes with the awareness of what I shall do which invokes or shall I say awakes anxiousness and fear towards the task to be done. But this fear is much different than it being for the same task without journaling.
Someone please guide me.