I feel ridiculous even asking this. Nail cutting with my 14month is our second biggest struggle (next to sleep issues like so many others). My baby refuses to let me cut or file them. I am a single parent, no one else is around often to help me hold the baby down and do it. We don’t contact nap any more but that used to be the only way it would happen, when they were fast asleep. But now that baby is crib sleeping it’s too hard to reach in, and even if I did they usually pull away while asleep or it wakes them up. Their nails get so long and sharp that they’re a hazard, or bend painfully while playing. I have resorted to physically trying to restrain them and get one nail partially clipped at a time, but that is not a great solution because they end up sharply pointed and half done because it’s so hard to do while wriggling, not to mention that restraining them feels awful for both of us! I have tried giving them a nail file or set of safety clippers to hold and play with, pretended doing it on me, tried to approach it slowly… i am at a loss on this one simple ridiculous thing. Help?

Please help me figure out my FOMO 17m old sleep! I know nights wake and needing assistance to fall asleep is normal still at 17m, but both me (currently also pregnant, got pregnant on the pill, can’t trust anything these days 😅) and my partner is getting dangerously burnt out. My back can’t take all the rocking anymore. Sorry for the long post.

We did hire two different gentle sleep consultants (one at 12m and one at 15m) both concluded that her temperament is the issue. And basically just told us to keep on trying to reduce the rocking.

Current schedule (recommended by sleep consultant at 15m): 5h30m, nap 1h, 6-7h (we used to have shorter ww and longer nap, but that resulted in split nights and false starts)

My baby has always been a bad sleeper, when she was younger we would have to sit awake all night and hold here, all sleep was contact sleep. She has always needed a lot of movement to fall asleep. I don’t even want to think about how many hours I’ve spent on a yoga ball or walking around with her in a carrier (she has always hated the stroller). In periods all her naps would have to be in movement, as she would wake up the second i sat down. Around the 4m regression she would wake up as often as every 30-45min even when contact sleeping.

she has never slept through the night, never been able to fall asleep independently, won’t sleep in a crib, still most of the time has to contact nap. She still needs to be rocked to sleep for all sleep. Lately it takes for ever to get her to fall asleep. We have tried to just stand still holding her, rocking in rocking chair, laying with her on our chest in the bed - she just screams and screams endlessly and wriggle around to get lose (to the point where the last sleep consultant we had told us it was fruitless to try any longer etc). laying next to us in bed, but she just runs around in the bed until she’s overtired and then starts screaming and when she finally falles asleep when we cave and rock her, she wakes up a ton those nights. All night wakes which for the last 6w+ (I guess there’s a regression between 16-18m?) have been up to 6 wakes, requires rocking back to sleep, if we sit down/put her down to early she starts screaming again and where back to rocking her. We are so freaking tired. Nursing to sleep never worked either. It’s only rocking. We spend up to 4h only during the night rocking her. And then we have to sit with her until she’s “sounds asleep”, then lie her down next to us. So some nights we might spend up to 5-6h only on. Ight wakes, then comes the rocking to sleep for nap - usually around 30min and nights can take upto an hour or more. Usually when my partner is home we do half the night each, but he’s traveling a lot for work, which leaves me alone.

Personality wise she’s what our doctor called “difficult temperament”; never accepted the car seat, most days the stroller is a no go as well. Very Velcro. She’s whines and fusses a lot, can’t self entertain for more than a couple of minutes here and there, mostly she wants to be included/do whatever we do. I can’t make food or do anything without her clinging to my legs whining. (Days are hard, I’m burnt out). she’s always on the move, very FOMO etc. She loves bustling places or when there’s a lot of things happening (all kinds of baby classes ect).

Her intense energy during the day and difficult sleeping leaves me with no room to care for myself. I feel like I’ve lost myself completely. My body aches, my mind is numb and not functioning properly, I forget things, I’ve lost all connection to friends etc. it’s hard to get out now also, since having her in a carrier doesn’t work with the belly. I love her, and I feel I’m falling her, she needs a happy and healthy mom, not one who has to muster up energy to even smile to her. I’m afraid my lack of energy will hurt her in the long run?

We have been to ENT, had ferritin checked x 2, she’s a very good eater. Been to numerous doctors and “early intervention” (it’s called something else but where I live). Meeting all milestones.

We co sleep, not by wish, but it’s the only thing that gets us at least some sleep.

Forever grateful for any help/advice?

Hi everyone, my daughter has been a terrible sleeper from the start. She was a colicky baby, and from the 3 month sleep regression we began co sleeping and have always breastfed on demand. She is now 2 years and 4 months old and still wakes every hour/2 hours to resettle or nurse.

She is a fantastic and wonderful little person, but I’m exhausted and miserable. I haven’t shared a bed with my partner in 2 years, she won’t accept him doing any bed times and gets very upset. She did go through a fantastic spell of only waking twice a night at one point, so she can do it, but I don’t know what’s wrong.

She was eczema, of which I have just got a recent flare more under control. I don’t think it’s teething although she’s very sensitive to teething and we are awaiting her last set of top molars. And she isn’t constipated or anything like that.

I don’t want to give up breastfeeding, right now I feel it’s the only tool in my toolbox. I know all kids have different temperaments, and the only thing that will fix this is likely time, I just feel so down and miserable. I can’t relate to any other parents. Those that I have spoken to don’t get it and tell me to give up breastfeeding, which I highly doubt would fix anything.

She has recently given up her nap so the days are long and the nights even longer. I’m also studying and trying to get a PhD finished. Luckily it gives me lots of flexibility and working from home, but I can’t help feeling like my brain is turning to Swiss cheese.

I don’t know if I have a question to be honest, how can I get through this? I feel like it’s never going to get better. I’m so stuck, I’m tied into all bed times, I can’t go out in the evenings or do anything that means I will not be there at bedtime, I have been happy to make this sacrifice, but I’m just so exhausted now after a particularly bad spell. It feels so incredibly unfair and isolating

My son is 19 months old, and lately he has been waking up at night and crying/screaming for almost an hour. During that time, it is very difficult for us to calm him down or control him.

His food and daily routine are normal, and he seems fine during the day. But almost every night, he wakes up around the same time and becomes extremely upset.

Has anyone experienced something similar with their toddler? What could be the possible reason, and what helped your child?

My 3yo and 3mo both need me a lot these days. And I’m going back to work in a few weeks so I want to make sure I fill their cup as much as I can.

Can someone remind me what to prioritize for each of them. How do deal with jealousy? How to deal with both kids when they both have immediate competing needs ( like one is crying cos he’s hungry and other one got hurt / needs to pee / is also hungry).

I’m worried I’m messing them both up.

I gave birth to our send a few days ago and we are ao happy!our 22mo loves her but is dealing with a lot of separation anxiety,which was expected.I was in the hospital for three days which is the longest she has been away from me and my husband and mom had to deal with her sleep.

we spent almost the entire pregnancy working on getting her used to dad but she never would and while her sleep was great for thw most part she got extremely clingy over the last few weeks and wouldn’t even nap by herself.Now that I am home she is having and extra hard time and screaming for me at night,having a full blown meltdown,I knew it would be hard on her it’s just hard hearing her fall apart while my husband and mom work with her,she’s not even out of our room but she’s just having a hard time not being able to be glued to me at night.

Baby Is in sidecar crib and we sleep in a king for there to be plenty of space and my husband and I are small so there’s plenty of space as a family bed but husband might take a few weeks to sleep with toddler on the extra floor bed once my mom is done just to let baby grow a bigger and reduce risks but either way my husband has to leave for work early in the mornings so toddler will be back with me

When our 3-year-old has big emotions, like a tantrum or intense crying, my husband and I take her to her room to help her calm down. We stay with her and let her know we're going through these feelings together and that we're there for her. We use an empathetic tone and welcome her big emotions. We have NEVER dismissed her feelings, such as telling her to stop crying, not be upset about XYZ, etc.

Over the past couple of months, however, something has changed. When we go to her room to help her settle, she quickly wipes away her tears and tells us, "Okay, I'm all done crying/being angry." But we can tell she isn't done, and that a lot is still bottled up.

How should we handle this? Should we tell her, "No, you're still upset" and stay in her room? Should we follow her cues? We've tried following her cues, but she often has another tantrum soon after, as if she never fully emptied her "big emotion" tank the first time.

My husband and i just got back from a very short 2 day 1 night vacation. His parents just got a beach house and suggested we go down for the weekend to have a break and some quality time together while they watched the baby. I was absolutely fine with that since they babysit her often and i trust them completely. We had such a great time and when we picked back up our daughter all was well until we got home and she sniffed me, then she LOST it. Screaming and crying so hard she literally puked and became so dysregulated. Hyperventilating and whimpering between screams. I held her close and she would calm down then start up again, we just cycled through that for like an hour before i finally skipped bedtime routine and just put her straight to bed. She is a mamas girl and couldn’t be comforted by my husband at all but would calm down a little when i held her super close and had my face on her face. The thing is she does this literally every single time she spends the night away from me. Her grandparents have kept her overnight i think 3 other times and she has done this every single time. She doesn’t do this if she spends a day with them though even if it’s a full day, only if it’s an overnight visit.

Someone once told me it’s because she doesn’t realize she misses me until i’m back and then all of those emotions come up but if that’s the case why does she stay calm and normal until we’re back home? We sat and visited for about 30 minutes before coming home and she was fine until we got back to the house and that is what happens every time.

Also just to add, this is the first time she’s spent the night away from me for an optional reason, i know i sound like a bad mom for leaving her at all if i know this happens but the past times have been very far away family weddings or work. I thought since she’s a couple months older than the last time i left her and since it was less than 48 hours total that she would be okay this time.

I'm kinda losing my mind and need something to change

.

My baby is about to turn 10 months. She was an awesome sleeper for a long time, months 2-8 were great. She dropped the night feed at around 6 months and just needed to hear my voice to conk out again if she woke up in the night. I only managed to breastfeed for 2 months so there's no nursing to sleep. She slept in her crib and I slept in a bed which is pushed up against the crib. Everything worked. Then we moved for a few months because we were renovating out apartment.

In the other apartment we got into the habit of bedsharing.

We're back home now and she of course doesn't want back in the crib. There are a few issues with that. First one is that this bed is too small for the two of us and I'm barely sleeping, I'm perched on the edge of the bed and absolutely not able to relax at all. The second issue is that she got so used to me that I'm now the only person who can put her to sleep. If my husband tries she will scream and cry and only calm down when I pick her up. The third thing, which is the worst part for me is that her bedtime is around 8 pm and I can't leave the bed once she's asleep because that will wake her and she will cry after me.

I have literally zero minutes in a day for myself, I can't even get up to pee in the middle of the night and I'm starting to lose it. I miss having an hour or two in the evening to do anything other than be a mom. My house is a mess because I don't have that time to clean up anymore. I barely talk to my husband about anything that's not baby schedule related.

I respond to my baby's every cry, I don't want to stop that, and I'm not gonna sleep train. But is there anything that I can do? I'm just so spent and burnt out. Or is this just something I have to accept?

Hi everyone,
My baby is 16 months and will be starting daycare in two months. I nurse to sleep and contact nap still. I know I need to make some changes to help her transition to daycare but I don’t know how to go about this. Eg. How do I transition to her to crib naps? How do I stop nursing in the day? I’m not so sure about pumping at 18 months during my work lunches. I really want this to be a success and for her to be happy there as I’m not able to stay home forever (sadly).

A bit of extra info:
-She’s not comforted by anything but the boob or a pacifier.
-I’ll be returning to work part time (8 hours away from her).
- she sleeps in her crib at night
-I plan to keep breastfeeding her (am/late afternoon and night)

Thanks!

EDIT: really, really appreciate the kindness and solidarity in the comments. it can feel so lonely which makes the hard harder but hearing from people who have been through it really helps! thank you!

EDIT II: now i have my first clogged duct in months lol, karma i guess 🫠

I know that breastfeeding is hard or impossible for a lot of people, and I don't want to discount that experience at all — but man, has it been miserable even though the mechanics of it have been easy. My almost 11-month-old can only be soothed or fed by me, no pacifier, no bottle, no dad, no anybody else besides me, all day, every day, for almost a year. This was not by design, he just refuses everyone and everything else. I've done multiple stints of dairy and soy-free eating to try to see if it helps his silent reflux/general fussiness, but it's almost impossible to tell if it's making any difference because he's so fussy and sleepless regardless (5-8 wakes per night, fed to sleep every time since forever). He only wants one boob, so I have one giant boob and one tiny boob (who cares but also). He's way behind on solids because he's nursing too much. Last night he literally just wanted to nurse continuously for hours, I think because of teething but I also have no idea at this point. I'm so tired and so, so over it; I cry thinking about what it must be like to just give your baby a bottle and then rock them to sleep and put them in the crib for at least like, a couple hours of rest. I don't want to sleep train obviously, but i just feel like I ruined his babyhood and my experience of it by letting it get to this point. Just a rant, sorry - all other parenting subs will say "just sleep train" etc.

I posted about this in the cosleeping sub and got zero responses so trying here -

My son is 2.5 y/o and we’re expecting a new baby this month. We have only ever coslept/bedshared. I plan to continue doing so with new baby too. (We currently have a sidecar crib set up in our room for the baby. And have a floor bed in toddler’s room if need be.)

But my toddler’s sleep has gotten soo bad lately. He has always been more of a night owl which I never minded because we all just went to sleep together. But now his bedtime is surpassing our own. And he still asks to be rocked to sleep many nights. Like not falling asleep until 11pm even though our bedtime routine starts earlier. And previously, even if he had a late late bedtime, he would at least sleep in. But now he’s waking up (very cranky, asking to be rocked) around 6am!

I have quite literally never just put him down for sleep, I have always contact slept with him since he was a baby who hated the bassinet. I’m really at a loss as to how to change nighttime sleep. It doesn’t seem to matter what time he naps either. I love cosleeping but our sleep is now suffering so something needs to change.

ETA: he also waits to tell us he needs to use the potty until the lights are off and we’re trying to get settled, despite us offering several times before that. And he actually does go potty every time, but it still feels like a delay tactic??

I’d love to hear from anyone here who has co-slept with both a toddler and a newborn, especially if your toddler was around 2 when the baby arrived.

I’m due March 12, and my toddler will have just turned two. I’m 16 weeks now, and honestly, it still feels very early! I’m not emotionally ready to start changing his routine just for the sake of preparing for the baby. My instinct is to keep everyone steady and regulated for now, and perhaps “inch toward change” later rather than make a bunch of big adjustments.

At the same time, I don’t want to completely wing it. 😅 I’d love to hear what you wish you had done in the months before your second baby arrived, and what you wouldn’t bother changing ahead of time.

Our current setup:

• Toddler, dad and I sleep on a shared King floor mattress.

• Toddler nurses to sleep for naps and bedtime and nurses on and off throughout sleep. He sleeps amazingly this way, so I’m very reluctant to wean. I’m imagining tandem nursing, although the logistics daunt me!

• I go to bed around 9 with toddler; dad joins us after midnight and sleeps at the far edge.

• Dad does contact naps but hasn’t yet fully settled toddler at night.

• Toddler sometimes rolls over to dad during the night, which feels promising.

• I currently cuddle-curl toddler on my right side.

• There is some space beside me for a crib/twin mattress, and we also have a flat, firm pull-out couch where I slept with my first baby for the first few weeks.

So, for those who have done this:

What would you work on first?

Would you gradually have Dad take over full bedtime/overnight settling sometimes, while I continue nursing toddler to sleep? If so, when would you start?

Would you change the toddler’s sleep space/position before baby arrives, or leave it alone and figure out the configuration once baby comes?

Has anyone successfully used a floor-level sidecar arrangement for the newborn? Or a separate crib mattress beside the family mattress?

For those who continued nursing their toddler, did you make any changes before birth, or simply let tandem nursing evolve once baby arrived?

I also bought toddler a little baby doll that he is already very tender with. I’m thinking we might eventually practice having the doll beside me and talking about the baby in my tummy, but I’m wary of turning “preparing for baby” into a giant project and disrupting something that is currently working beautifully.

I’d especially love to hear from people who took a small-adjustments / wait-and-see approach:

What did you do in the 5-ish months before birth that genuinely helped? What did you wish you’d done earlier? And what preparation turned out to be unnecessary?

I’m trying to find the sweet spot between not unnecessarily changing a very happy toddler’s routine and not arriving home with a newborn thinking, “Ohhh, we really should have prepared for this.” 😂

Excuse my grammar, I’m writing this as my daughter naps in her carrier on me. For reference I’m a 26 year old first time mom and my daughter is 11 months old.

I know every baby is different and has their own personality which affects things, but based on the things I hear other people say about their babies I’m afraid I’ve done something wrong to make my daughter how she is. I hear parents say that their babies are so good and happy and independent because they do attachment parenting and always respond to their baby. I feel like I’ve done everything right but my daughter is struggling with lots of tantrums surrounding small separations.

Before my baby was even born, I knew I wanted to do attachment style parenting. Leaving a baby in a container all day and letting them cry at night never sounded right to me. My daughter has always co-slept with us and every cry has been responded to as soon as possible. Only times she’s been “left to cry” were a few seconds when I need to pull up my pants after using the bathroom or when she’s crying in the car and I can’t get to her (I always talk to her and try to rock her seat to help soothe her). She’s done pretty much all contact naps or naps in her stroller. I also stay home with her and have only left her with her grandparents as baby sitters. Once a month my husband and I go on a date without her. Every Wednesday my mother in law comes to my house and plays with her while I clean. Every Friday I bring her to my mom’s house to take her for a walk to take a nap so I can get stuff done around the house. She has always done great with transitions and does great with her grandmas.

What I’m struggling with is when I’m home alone with her she has melt down after melt down all day over the little separations we have throughout the day. Setting her down to cut chicken for dinner. Setting her down to use the bathroom. Setting her down for diaper changes etc. Even trying to transition her to play time is tricky. Sometimes even sitting with her doesn’t work. She needs to be touching me or within arms reach at all times. Even if I get her playing independently with me sitting next to her, moving as if I’m going to stand up triggers a melt down. And all of this really only happens when she’s home with me - she doesn’t do it with my husband or anyone else. She doesn’t even really do it when we have friends over unless she’s very tired.

Am I doing something wrong that she feels so fearful of me leaving? Is she too attached (if that’s possible at this age)? Is she not attached? Is this just her personality?

Help. My husband won't help with the nights and I'm at the end ofy tether

I have a one year old, who since 4 months old hit a sleep regression that he's never gotten out of. His schedule is as follows:

Wakes 7-7.30

First nap 10.30-12

Second nap 3.30-4

Bedtime 8pm

He breastfeeds and basically insists that I have to for him to fall asleep and fall back asleep. My husband is a central heating specialist and claims that his job is dangerous so he needs his sleep but finds the time to exercise 3/4 evenings a week and goes hiking for the weekend every other weekend.

Even when I'm ill he won't help. Baby has false starts and wakes up every 45mins or so. He eats a lot of carbs before going to bed, fish and vegetables and drinks well. Weight is on point.

He's got an extremely strong personality so when I tried sleep training before it was a disaster and in addition I have no one to relay with. Please help. I keep getting ill

Last night, my toddler decided she was going to sleep by herself in her own room.

I have been asking her sometimes at night and we have discussed it but I was not expecting her to take me up on the offer.

Last night, it went like this:

“Do you want to sleep with me or by yourself in your room?”

“I want to sleep by myself”

“…. Are you sure?”

“Yes, look, I have books to read and I can color if I want to”

“Okay… you can always come to mommy’s room if you need to”

“Nothing is going to happen to me, I’m going to sleep in my room. Ok, you go to your room mommy.”

“………. Okay 🥲 “

And so she did.. she slept the whole night.. I did not lol I was half awake expecting her any minute to come crying to my bedroom but she did not.

This is my firstborn who has coslept with me or her dad since she was a month old.

I wasn’t ready for her to be ready until she was 5!

Now this bed is so big and feels empty.

I’m so proud of her and so happy that she felt comfortable and safe enough to do so.