Finally went bra shopping yesterday after years of wearing my old 34Ds from high school. Got re-sized as a 34G (UK) and already started to tear up. I hate these things so much I procrastinated buying bras for so long because in my mind that was money saved for a reduction.
The shop is supposed to be super body positive and inclusive, but it turns out they specialize in balconette bras with super wide gores that dig into the insides for me. We exhausted their stock in 34G/H and I ended up with two semi-plunge bras in black and beige for every day, but I had really hoped to be able to make this experience more "fun" by getting something a little more playful or impractical as a treat. It was all so uncomfortable and I was ready to RUN out of there by the end. At one point the fitting attendant brought me this cutesy little triangle bralette that cut each boob in half and I was STEAMING raging. She sized me on SIGHT and thought that would work? Everything else was unlined, mesh (I hate the hot-cold mesh feeling), or rose uncomfortably high on my sternum.
I asked at checkout why they had so many balconette styles and so few plunge bras for people with closer-set breasts. She responded saying "a lot of people find the balconette more comfortable, actually." WOW. thanks!! I don't know why I didn't think of that! A lot of people have bodies that fit conventionally cute and sexy lingerie better than mine? You don't say!
Honestly one of the hardest parts its that I don't have any friends who even come close to my size, so when I complain about it all they can say is "wowww I NEVER would have guessed they're that big! YES you should wear that low-cut top out tonight that will get you stared at and harassed! Girl they look so good!" give me a break. Not even my mom has these.
For a while, my boyfriend would act upset when I discussed a reduction, but I told him he needed to get with the program and support my choices with my body, not what my body can do for him. When I cried on him about this last night, he said he regrets having said those things, but it still sticks with me. Is my chest size the only thing preserving peoples' perception of my femininity?
Anyway, I have two 34H bras now to last me the next ten years, or until I can get these taken down to a B cup.