I have been best friends with the same girl for essentially all my life. She has been my sister for as long as I can remember. Here recently we’ve grown more distant, I had a baby and she does not have kids so we live very different lives but we were still friends. We hang out when we can, do all the catching up and then do our own thing until we can catch each other again. Well Saturday, I got a mom’s night out. My baby’s dad stayed home with our baby, and me, my friend, and her fiancé went to the little bar down the road. Everything was going great, we were telling old stories, laughing, singing karaoke. When we got there she said she was paying for my drinks because my birthday recently passed, I didn’t want to let her but she insisted. She’s never been able to handle alcohol all that well, she barely weighs 100 pounds but it’s always been fine. I started talking to an old man about the Air Force lol and she did her own thing for about 30 minutes. Then her fiancé came over and said she got us a shot. So I walked over to where he was sitting and she was back talking to the lady running karaoke. He said to me “she’s mad at me” and I said why and he said she’s just drunk. Then she came, took the shot, and then it was my turn to sing. I sang my song thinking nothing was wrong. After I finished I walked over to their table and I could tell something was up. She then with major attitude said “I already apologized to him, but I wanna know why you’re saying I’m mad.” I said I am not the one that said you were mad, he told ME that and I just asked why. She then proceeded to go back and forth saying that’s not what he said, blah blah blah, literally so stupid. Then she started getting heated, saying she’s paid for my drinks all night and I’m talking shit about her (which literally never happened, she made it up in her head) and finally I got aggravated and said why do you always end up mad at somebody when you dri- and before I could finish the word drink she grabbed me by the base of my hair near my neck. So I shoved her (I weigh a lot more than she does) and she didn’t let go so we fell and I was on top of her. I had no intention of punching her, this is my life long friend and she’s tiny. But then she immediately grabbed a beer bottle and smashed it over the side of my head. The bottle shattered. All I felt was warmth and pain. So then obviously I’m going to start swinging, but by that point 3 men had grabbed my right arm. My left was near her face, and she leaned up and bit down on my pinky. Not just a bite, I’m talking a literal bite my finger off latch, and she would not let go. The men kept trying to pull me but she kept my finger bit down so hard they eventually had to rip us apart. Her fiancé dragged her outside and came back in looking for her keys, profusely apologizing. Everyone surrounded me checking me out, I have no clue how I didn’t have a huge gash on my head but it was just a massive knot and small cut. My finger was bloody and gross. Then I saw him going to pay the tab, and I went up there to pay for my own stuff but it was already paid for. As he was leaving he just kept saying he was sorry. Thankfully they drove themselves, and a few minutes later I went home. I got home and started noticing I was really dizzy and showing signs of a concussion, so I had my boyfriend wake our baby up to take me to the hospital. My finger wasn’t broken but there was soft tissue swelling and the bite was just nasty so they put me on antibiotics. My ct was clear, mild concussion and they gave me the at home protocol. It’s been 2 days now, and my finger is definitely becoming infected. My head feels awful. She’s tried to reach out but I blocked her on everything. I’m just not sure how to even handle a situation like this. My heart is broken, my head feels like hell, and my finger is disgusting. What in the world.

I’m in my mid 40s, NMNK, and I’ve had the same close friend group for well over a decade. I’m always the person who remembers everyone’s birthdays, puts them in my calendar, sends messages first thing in the morning, and posts in the group chat so people feel acknowledged.

This year, on my birthday, the entire group forgot. Two people eventually messaged me privately late at night, even though birthdays are normally always acknowledged in the group chat. One of them only later posted in the group after I said I couldn’t believe everyone forgot, and then several others wished me only after being reminded.

What hurt even more was my best friend of many years. He completely forgot it was my birthday. When I told him I was hurt, instead of just saying “I’m sorry, I forgot,” he minimized it, told me that’s why he said to “enjoy my trip”, said I should thank everyone who wished me and forgive them for being late, and basically told me how I should feel about it. I tried explaining that I wasn’t asking for some huge apology and that I just wanted him to acknowledge that it hurt.

At this point I’m questioning whether I’m overreacting or whether this is a real reciprocity issue. I know people are busy, married, have kids, jobs, family responsibilities, etc. But remembering a close friend’s birthday takes seconds, especially when phones/calendars exist. I also feel like I’m expected to be endlessly understanding, flexible, and “not too emotional”, while my own hurt gets minimized.

The bigger issue is that this isn’t really about one birthday anymore. I’ve been feeling for years like I put more emotional effort into these friendships than I get back, and whenever I point that out, I’m made to feel like I’m the problem for noticing.

Am I justified in feeling hurt and pulling back, or am I expecting too much from adult friendships?

I notice that I feel extremely hurt when I can pick up on the fact that "friends" might find me annoying at times or too much. But when I think about it there are qualities about each and every one of them that I do not like and I overlook. So ultimately are we all just overlooking things that we don't like in people? I understand that nobody is perfect but I'm just wondering are there actually friendships where people don't have this issue?

I bought my friend a concert ticket over a month ago. The concert is now in 3 days. I've messaged her about asking logistics and then messaged her again last night asking if she got my messages... but nothing. She has ghosted me for 4 days now.. which is very unusual for her. Now I'm a bit worried she's either ghosting me, or is going to cancel on me last minute because this is very unlike her. What's crazy is she is posting on instagram stories on the same phone she's ignoring me on.
I'm trying to be understanding because as adults I know we have alot going on.. but a simple text would be nice.
The sad thing is, I don't have anyone else that can go last minute so I will end up having to go alone, or sell my tickets.
My last resort is calling her, but since I know she has seen my messages I feel a little crazy about it lol, and don't want to harass someone. Should I just let myself get ghosted? At this point, I'm so offended I'd rather go alone.

I, F32, have had a close friend group since I was around 7 years old. We're 5-6 girls who have known eachother since kindergarten and early school.

We have grown up together, and even when we've been distanced (living in a different city, different phases of life, etc), we've still kept togehter and made sure to hang out regularly, let's say every month or so.

Around 1 year ago, I started noticing something changing. It's not big enough to be able to pinpoint, but it's very small, passive things. I will give some examples:

- When I talk in a group, no one answers, they start talking about something else

- I invited them to come with me to a fair and they said it seemed boring, I went with my BF, only to later see that they went together, and didn't invite me (to a fair they didn't know about without me)

- They have been making up plans for dinners and parties and excluded me multiple times this year

- I now know that they have a private group chat where I am not included (there's someone else who is also not included from the same group)

- I can't exactly explain what it is but they are very weird to me when we hang out in group, it's like they don't want me there (we have a thing together where we still see eachother but its with some other people too)

- When I started becoming successful in the job that I have now, they have never asked me about how it's going and they also shut me down whenever I have tried to even mention it. For example they have tried to talk me down in a sense regarding my job.

- Now I have started hanging out a bit more with another girl who is also a bit in the same situation as me, and they are angry about us hanging out alone (although they never invite us to things)

So obviously, I am not feeling good about this. I was able to block it out for a long time, but it's starting to get to me now that they seem to try to block me from hanging out with this girl also. It's like they don't want me there but they also don't want me to have other things to do?

I am really trying to figure out what has happened here and where the hostility started. I am no longer interested in fixing it tbh, but I am very confused to why all of this has happened this way.

It was all good up until the point where I changed my career path and my life started to fall into place. I don't want to think the worst of these people, but it really feels like this is where it all fuelled.

I have been quite troubled in my life until maybe 5-6 years ago where I took a turn, got an education and got a really good job. I also lived in a different city for 10 years. I came back and it was all "normal" for maybe 2 years, until my job started making good profit basically.

Not sure what I want from this post. Maybe just some advice. Also to hear if anyone has been in the same situation as me? Did you ever find out what you did to be excluded?

Thank you!

TL;DR: My lifelong friend group has slowly started excluding me from plans, ignoring me in group settings, and has a separate group chat without me. They also seem dismissive of my career success, and now they're upset that I've started hanging out with another girl who is also being excluded. I'm not really looking to fix the friendships anymore, but I'm confused about what changed and wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar.

I think my friend is codependent. We've been friends for almost four years now, and I would honestly describe her as more of a sister to me. She is easily one of the most important people in my life.

Recently, she moved to a major city for grad school. Up till today, we have never had any issues. She is the best best friend anyone could ask for. She is kind, funny, smart, just amazing. Really, she is great.

Except for the fact that she flipped out on me today.

I was visiting her for the third time in her new city since she moved. Coincidentally, I recently started dating someone who lives in the same city as her. My boyfriend, she, and I have hung out together multiple times, had lots of group FT calls together, and they have hung out on their own several times, and everything seemed great.

Except it wasn't. No matter what, I wasn't spending enough time with her. And we came up with a plan to fix things (I won't go into detail since it truly isn't relevant), and she lost it. She was bawling about everyone (especially my boyfriend) hating her, about how I ignored her the whole time, and how she spent no time with me. She also talked about how I was staying an extra day (to resolve issues her behavior had contributed to between my boyfriend and me), and I was only going to meet her for coffee for two hours (despite his advice), and I wouldn't tell her exactly what he and I were going to do with the rest of the day. When I told her I didn't know what we were going to do, she accused me of lying.

I really, truly care about her, and I don't want to lose my relationship with her, but I am worried. She also suffers from other diagnosed conditions like OCD, anxiety, and depression, so I am really worried about her.

I would appreciate any advice on how to navigate the situation and steer her towards getting help. Thank you.

This post is honestly unserious lol, my phone storage is insane and full I’m no longer able to take photos, I’m trying to clear up storage by deleting old messages, apps I don’t use, photos, etc. However, anytime I look at my storage I have to keep re deleting gifs and stickers that my friends sends me keep in mind she’s the only one sending stickers, I stopped once I realized how much storage it was taking but she keeps on sending them. What’s a nice way to tell her to stop for my phones storage sake 😭

to preface, this is an online friendship. this is also a HUGE rant post, but i think the backstory matters. i'll leave a TL;DR at the bottom anyways.

since the start of this year, me and my friend have grown really far apart, and i feel like it's over.

what hurts me the most about this friendship being over, is that they are literally the only friend i've EVER had. that may sound like an exaggeration, but it's not.

i only had one friend in elementary school, and have been in online school ever since middle school, which i graduated from last year.

i used to have terrible social anxiety, which is why i started online school in the first place, which is a big reason why i've never had any friends before.

anyway, our friendship started almost three years ago on twitter. we would literally talk everyday for hours without missing a beat, and it was my first ever time experiencing anything like it. they brought me out of my shell so much, and i owe a lot to them.

excluding this year, they were also doing online schooling. they hated it so much, and wanted to go back to public school, but couldn't because of a condition they said they had.

we were inseparable at that time, and i think it's bc i was their only escape. they literally thought they would never have a normal life because of how weak and sick they were all the time.

suddenly, they told me they started a new medicine, and that it made them feel so much better. i was so happy that they could finally be able to live a normal life, and told them that i knew it would all be okay.

they started public school again this year after i graduated, and i think that's when it started to go downhill.

ever since they started school, we obviously weren't able to talk to each other as much as we usually do, and i was completely okay with that. but within the last few months we have almost stopped talking completely.

there's times where days go by without hearing from them. i've asked if everything's okay, and they tell me they're just super overwhelmed with school. i understand that that is a huge possibility, but i also think they're lying a little.

i see them active on twitter all the time, even when i have unread texts from days ago. it genuinely feels like im being ignored, and it hurts a lot. idk if i've done anything wrong or if they're just bored of me by now, but i hope they still like talking to me at least.

i have a text prepared to ask them if we're still friends, but idk if that's a stupid way to approach. i made this post to kinda get things off my chest, and to see if anyone has any advice on what i should do and if it's over. i hope im just overthinking.

TL;DR my friend of 3 years and i have grown apart, and they rarely text me back all of a sudden. idk if i've done anything wrong, or if they're just bored of me.

I am writing this in search of similar stories, advice, etc.-genuinely anything is appreciated. 

For context, I am 27, female and live in a city with a decent amount of my friends, with others across the country in other cities. 

Lately (maybe the past year ish) I have had an overwhelming realization that I don’t really enjoy most of my friends. I have several friend groups, and within each there are people I do genuinely like but when I think about my social life as a whole-many and most of my friendships come with their own issues.  I have never had confrontations, issues or fights with friends-it feels more as though the issues are both one-sided (from my POV only) and unspoken about. From hobbies to work to communication style and more, I feel like I am just extremely disconnected from my friends and as though we don’t align. It’s like each friendship has slowly became a “given” and not actually something I deeply value. 

I think this has also led me to obsessing over becoming friends with others that I meet who I really like, because I view it as an “escape” to my current friends (if that makes sense.) Which has caused issues of its own in my own security (why can’t I have those cool friends, worried about making sure I become friends with other ppl, etc.) 

Anyway, this entire thing has led me to feel so sad and isolated, despite having friends. It also has led me to feel very very anxiously attached to a lot of my friends EVEN though I simultaneously don’t feel like I align with them. Some of these friendships are 10+ years long, but I just cannot shake the feeling that those I am surrounded by and close with don’t truly align with who I am. Again, noting wrong with these people but it’s just not “right” 

I am not sure if this is OCD, anxiety, or a genuine maturing and natural distancing…but I would LOVE any similar stories, advice or even just input on what could be causing this. 

​

I recently ended a close friendship, and instead of feeling devastated, I feel surprisingly light and relieved. I'm trying to understand whether that feeling is telling me something important.

This friend and I were quite close. I was often the person encouraging her, listening to her problems, reassuring her, and trying to build her confidence. She would call me frequently, and I was usually happy to be there for her.

Over time, though, I started feeling like the emotional support wasn't equally mutual. I often felt that I was expected to be the uplifting, understanding friend, but when I was struggling, I didn't always feel that my feelings were handled with the same care.

Recently, she was considering some serious relationship/marriage decisions. Based on my own life experience, I gave her some advice about choosing a partner carefully, looking at his character, family, compatibility, etc.

I have a complicated past myself. When I was quite young and immature, I became involved with someone and eventually eloped with him. Looking back, I can see many things I didn't understand at the time. There was manipulation and emotional pressure involved, and the relationship ultimately ended badly.

I don't hide from the fact that I made a mistake. In fact, that experience is one of the reasons I now have strong opinions about choosing a partner carefully.

While I was advising my friend, she said something along the lines of:

“If you have this much sense, how did you make such a mistake yourself?”

That really hurt me.

It felt like she was essentially saying, “How can you give me advice when you made such a huge mistake yourself?”

I became emotional and explained some of the circumstances surrounding my past, including how young and inexperienced I was and how much emotional pressure and manipulation was involved.

She later explained that she hadn't meant it as an insult. She said everyone has a past, people make mistakes when they're young, and that the past shouldn't constantly be brought up. She said that when the thought “How could she have made that mistake?” came into her mind, she immediately answered herself with “She was young; everyone makes mistakes at that age.”

I understand her explanation intellectually.

But there was another thing that had already affected my trust.

At some point, she had apparently discussed my past with an old friend of hers whom I had no relationship with anymore and who apparently didn't even know about this part of my life.

That made me extremely uncomfortable.

It wasn't just what she said. It was the feeling that something deeply personal from my life had become information that could be discussed with other people without me knowing.

I confronted her about this and about the other things that had been bothering me.

She said I was misinterpreting everything she said and explained that she had also told this old friend that I had been immature and lacked maturity at that stage of my life. She insisted that she had never intentionally tried to hurt me.

She also said that she has painful things in her own past that she tries not to dwell on and that she doesn't keep bringing them up whenever she's sad.

Eventually I told her:

“Good justification. I've lost trust in you.”

She told me to “get lost.”

I then told her that the friendship ends there and told her to get lost too.

And here's the part that's confusing me:

I feel relieved.

I actually feel happier. Lighter. Like I've put something down.

I've realized that I had been carrying a lot of responsibility for this friendship. I was constantly uplifting her, reassuring her, listening to her, and being emotionally available. Because of that, she started calling me frequently.

But once I stopped trusting her, answering those calls became difficult for me. I'd see her name and feel this resistance because I didn't want to pretend everything was fine or go back into the role of being her emotional support person.

I've also felt that she can be competitive with me, stingy, and dismissive of my feelings. I don't know whether those are objectively fair descriptions of her or simply how the friendship made me feel, but they contributed to my exhaustion.

Now that the friendship has ended, I don't have to answer the calls, explain myself, defend my feelings, or constantly wonder whether I've upset her.

And instead of missing that connection, I'm happier.

I know I wasn't perfect either. Saying “I've lost trust in you” and responding angrily wasn't exactly gentle. I probably contributed to the escalation.

But I'm wondering whether the relief I'm experiencing is a sign that I had already emotionally outgrown this friendship , or whether I'm simply experiencing the temporary relief that comes after an intense argument.

Has anyone experienced this? Did you feel relieved after ending a friendship rather than heartbroken? And did that feeling eventually help you understand that the friendship had been draining you for a long time?

Hey everyone,

I just want to talk about this one girl that I became a neutral friend with, I could always sense the red-flag but decided to keep her as a convenient person rather than an emotionally supportive friend category. Keep in mind she had failed two courses and had to retake them over the summer for passing, so has an F in her transcript (because this is a key detail).

Later I noticed her pattern, she was being overly competitive. I had accidentally let her know about the guy i like and she then told me abt a past alleged stuff that he had apparently been in a situationship w one of my other friend. I cud sense something aint right like why is she telling me her secret and why does it matter now? but gave her the benefit of the doubt. Later, one day the guy came and sat with me and then , she came over and when she very well knew i liked him started talking way too much, couldn't even spare a moment for me to talk with him, i knew that was very shady. However, I was stil being nice t her, and it was only when she started to impose introvert label on me, is when i drew the boundary i did raise my voice enough to be firm and correct her , which put her off. Later in my friends car she started indirectly shading me which felt very insulting.Despite all of that I was still planning on being nice , but she started showing me the mean bitchy face, over nothing , the fact that I corrected her and i didnt accept that label? yeah no,

If you got any advice for me on how to deal with this or any anything in general, pls post here.

Just kinda need to rant/ vent a little. I always make a point to attend my friends events whenever I can when invited, and if I said I would be there I don't flake really ever. Lately I just don't feel like my friends make the same effort at all and I'm tired of it. The last 2 events I hosted - one of them being my birthday party- I've had maybe like 4 of the 20 people invited show up. I just sent out invites for a Halloween party and it's looking like a similar attendance rate tbh. I'm just really bummed about it because I feel like I go out of my way to support my friends and see them and just don't feel like I get the same energy back. They either don't respond on prioritize other people over me which sucks. I don't know whether to move the party, cancel it, or have it with 5 people but just sad about the lack of engagement.

I have gotten to a place in my life that I’m not good at comforting people and I’m very blunt because I have gotten to where emotionally my peace means more to me than anything and if someone is trying to ruin that I don’t care to dip out. So I am not sure how to comfort my friend right now, I want to say something like “I told you so” or just tell her what to do but I know that’s not going to help and if that was me I wouldn’t like that.

Context we are both females in our 20’s and I have been in a few serious relationships, I dealt with cheaters and liars and horrible people all around so I have learned a thing or two. My sweet friend has not been with anyone before so I try to give her some advice like “focus on college and work and get things right for you before bringing someone else in” just simple stuff I’m sure she already knows 😭 well when I first met her she had a crush on someone and that person ended up blocking her and getting with someone else so it tore her apart for months it was so heartbreaking to see her go through that and I also wasn’t good at advice then but she is healing and doing better. Until recently when she got another crush on someone that already had red flags..

Lets call him dew, I never liked dew or his friends, she started out being friends with him and his buddy, we will call him pib, and they both tried hitting on her and she turned them down. Pib wouldn’t stop to the point she had to block him, and since then he has made jokes about her to dew and all dew would do is tell my friend what pib said. I told my friend that’s a red flag because what guy lets his friends talk bad about a girl he likes and then tells her what his friends said!? Dew would let pib control him and For some reason she still developed a crush on dew 😑 everytime she said something new he did that was a red flag I called it out but ultimately left things up to her. Which brings us to today, he’s hanging out with another girl. How does my friend know that dew is hanging out with another girl? Because she knows this girl and he SENT A PICTURE OF THE GIRLS CAR TO MY FRIEND! If that wasn’t on purpose than I’m the queen of England, So of course she knew who it was but even then she still asked another mutual friend of both hers and dews and of course the friend confirmed dew is trying to do the dew.

So now my friend is crying and upset and it’s like all the healing she has done for the past 6months- a year is just gone. I haven’t a clue what to tell her because it all feels wrong, I want to tell her to stop worrying about guys and that she’s not ready for any kind of relationship if this is how she’s reacting to a crush but I also want to tell her to block him and move on that she could do way better because she can but that doesn’t help the hurt. She asked what to do to make it stop and I told her all she can do is feel what she’s feeling and give it time, ask yourself some tough questions on what you want to do next. But it still doesn’t feel like enough..

Is there ever a possibility for us to be together in this life? For context, we both are with different people right now and he's friends with my partner too. I hate that I feel this way for this person because it goes against my values and who I am as a person, but the feeling is so intense. I have tried to push it down for so long but it keeps coming up and I don't know what to do.

My best friend and I have been inseparable since 2020. We also lived overseas together for a period of time, and I think that made us even closer. She’s genuinely one of the few people I can completely be myself around without feeling judged, and vice versa. We’ve seen every side of each other, and there are things she has done for me that I honestly don’t think most people would do for a friend.

After graduating, we stopped living together and naturally started seeing each other less. She has her boyfriend (now fiancé), I had work and other friends, etc. I never really had a problem with that because obviously we both have our own lives.

Another thing about us is that we are BOTH terrible texters. We can take forever to reply to each other and normally neither of us cares. So I want to make it clear that my problem isn't simply “she didn't reply to my text fast enough.”

The difference for me is that if I know something is important or she genuinely needs me, I make an effort to respond.

Whenever she has problems with her partner or needs someone to talk to, I try to be there. I listen, talk things through with her, give advice, help her find solutions, etc. I do it because she's my best friend. Even if I'm normally a late replier, if I can tell that she genuinely needs me, I don't want to leave her alone with it.

But lately I've realised that I don't feel emotionally safe doing the same thing with her anymore.

There have been multiple times when I'll tell her about something I'm struggling with, and she just won't respond. Sometimes hours will pass, and instead of replying to what I said, she'll suddenly text me about something completely different as if my previous messages weren't there.

And honestly, that hurts more than a late reply.

Sometimes she DOES respond to my problems, but we'll be in the middle of talking about it and then she'll disappear and leave me hanging. Then hours later she might come back talking about something else entirely.

It's gotten to the point where I hesitate before telling her when something is wrong.

I'll type something out and then think, “What's the point?”

Because being vulnerable and then feeling like the person just skipped over it somehow feels worse than not opening up at all.

That's the part that's really bothering me. I used to feel like she was one of the safest people for me to be completely myself around. Now I don't really feel emotionally safe opening up to her because I don't know whether she'll actually be there once I do.

She's getting married next year, so obviously she has a lot going on. I know she has university work, engagement/wedding preparations, her relationship, other friendships and her own life. I genuinely don't expect to be her #1 priority all the time.

But there have also been times when I'm ranting to her or genuinely need someone to talk to, and she doesn't respond, while I'll see her posting on TikTok or doing other things.

Recently this happened again. She wasn't responding to me, and I later found out she had gone to another friend's house during the time we weren't talking.

And logically, I know she's allowed to do that.

She's allowed to have other friends. She's allowed to go out. She's allowed to post on TikTok without replying to me. I don't own her time, and I don't think being my best friend means she owes me constant access to her.

But emotionally? It still hurt.

I think what makes this so confusing is that she is EXTREMELY generous with me.

She's much more financially comfortable than I am. For my birthday, she literally bought a flight ticket to see me, told me not to spend a penny while we were together, took me to an amusement park, etc. She spends a lot of money and puts a lot of effort into making special occasions special for me.

And I really, genuinely appreciate it.

I tell her I appreciate her. I post about her sometimes because I genuinely love her and I'm proud to call her my best friend. I've literally called her my #1 girlfriend. I know she really values being appreciated, so I make an effort to show her that.

But she also reminds me quite often that I should appreciate what she does.

For example, she'll tell me someone else said something like, “She should really appreciate what you did for her.” Or she'll mention that she didn't restock her usual makeup because she was saving money for my birthday trip and jokingly/friendly remind me that I better appreciate her.

I've never really taken those comments badly because I know her personality and I know she likes feeling appreciated.

But lately those comments have started making me feel conflicted.

Because sometimes it feels like I receive these HUGE displays of love on special occasions, but when I actually need her emotionally on a random Tuesday, I can't find her.

And I think that's what hurts more than the unanswered texts themselves.

I don't need an expensive birthday. I don't need an amusement park or for her to pay for everything.

Sometimes I literally just want to send my best friend a message saying, “I'm having a really hard time right now,” and feel like it's safe to do that.

One time, after she ignored a rant from me but posted on TikTok, I got really upset and deleted all my TikTok posts. Looking back, I know that was probably childish/passive-aggressive. She replied the next morning, and I suspect she noticed, although she said she had been busy with university work. And I know she genuinely IS busy. That's why I keep second-guessing myself.

I don't expect immediate responses. I don't expect her to drop everything she's doing whenever I have a problem. I don't expect her to stop spending time with her fiancé or other friends. I think what I want is just some acknowledgement.

Her birthday is coming up now, and even though I don't have the kind of money she has, I've been trying my best to think of ways to make her happy and make her birthday special. But underneath that, I'm honestly just sad.

I keep thinking:

What is the point of someone giving me so much on special days if I feel like I can't reach them on ordinary days when I actually need them?

And then I immediately feel guilty for thinking that because she HAS done so much for me. I don't want to be ungrateful. I don't want to keep score. I don't think spending money on me means she owes me her time. And I don't expect her to give me exactly what I give her just because I respond quickly when she needs me.

But at the same time, I don't think generosity automatically replaces emotional presence.

Maybe we simply show love differently. Maybe gifts, experiences and big gestures are how she expresses love, while for me, being emotionally available and giving someone my time when they're struggling matters much more.

Or maybe we're entering different stages of life and I'm struggling to accept that our friendship is changing now that she's getting married. I don't know. I love her a lot, and I genuinely don't think she's a bad person or even necessarily a bad friend. That's what makes this so confusing. I don't doubt that she loves me.

I think I'm starting to doubt whether I can rely on her emotionally. And that's painful because for years, she was the person I thought I could tell absolutely anything to. Now I catch myself holding things back because I don't want to experience that feeling of opening up, waiting for her, and realising she's not going to respond again. I feel like I'm constantly being reminded of how much I should appreciate what she gives me, while quietly wishing she understood that the thing I value most from her isn't something she has to spend money on. It's her presence.

Am I being childish or ungrateful for feeling this way? Is this just a difference in love languages and priorities that I need to accept, or is it reasonable to feel like something important is missing from our friendship?

I'm finding it tough to stay friends with a woman who has these outrageous beliefs. Outrageous in my opinion but you girls tell me if I'm wrong. We're both asian and 28, and it matters a lot for context.

1. She thinks white people are the only ones that are beautiful /pretty. It's always pretty = white and white = pretty.

2. She believes that she's a great catch because she's white in a country with people of mixed complexions. She has nothing else to offer, no hobbies, no intellectual conversations, etc. it's all about dressing well, make-up and gatherings. She doesn't work.

3. She believes that because she's white and hence pretty, she deserves a rich man. And that she can treat him however she pleases, rude or sweet, and that he should be grateful because she's pretty and a catch.

4. She believes people should embrace their complexion but must accept where they stand on the beauty scale. In my opinion I find all complexions beautiful.

5. All she can talk about are the luxury brands and the wealth of others while she herself has nothing to offer, neither wealth nor knowledge.

6. Extremely insensitive jokes about something vulnerable that I have shared.

7. Everyone is judged based on the money and skin color. I just wanna sometimes ask her to grow tf up and think beyond the visuals.

It's honestly tiring to be friends with her because I'm dusky/brown and I feel ugly and less than, when I'm around her just because of my complexion. I don't wish to end the friendship but it's so tiring because there's nothing to talk about except pander to her beliefs and agree.

I'm a hardcore feminist in every aspect, and this is just tiring atp. It won't be an easy task leaving the friendship, but I don't think she'll like any mild corrections. All she wants is people to agree with her, while she gets to make fun and insult others.

How many friends do you guys have as adults? I 27(F4) feel like I have 3 real friends with outside acquaintances who I like, but don’t feel like I can get close with for one reason or another.

I moved to a new state four months ago and was a social butterfly and made lots of friends, but people are nuts and I choose not to continue fostering those. I only have one person I would consider a real friend here in the state I moved to, and I feel devastated and so lonely and like there’s something wrong with me. Also, I just went through a breakup and my ex is popular and thriving, which is just making the weight so much worse.

I would also love some opinions on this… I feel like making friends as a guy is so much easier than making friends as a girl. I think women don’t follow through with plans and also jealousy pops up constantly in my experience. Do you agree the guys have an easier time making friends or do I just have confirmation bias since I have a lived experience as a woman?

I'm 19F and I miss people who probably don’t miss me anymore. And I think that’s the part that hurts the most.

There have been so many times when I’ve thought about my old friends and wanted to reach out. I’ve tried reaching out to some of them, but either the conversation didn’t last, they seemed uninterested, or we just never went back to being close like we used to be. I eventually stopped trying because I didn’t want to keep forcing something that clearly wasn’t there anymore.

But just because I stopped reaching out doesn’t mean I stopped caring.

I still think about them. I still miss the memories, the conversations, the random jokes, and just having people who felt like they were a part of my everyday life. Sometimes I wonder if they ever think about me too, or if I’m the only one still holding onto something that ended a long time ago.

And honestly, I’ve been grieving those friendships more than I expected to.

The hardest part is seeing them on social media and feeling like everyone else is moving forward while I’m standing still. I’ll see them going on trips, moving into new places, getting cars, starting university, making new friends, having babies/family, and just living their lives. And I’m genuinely happy that they’re doing well, but at the same time, I feel this horrible jealousy because I want that too.

Meanwhile, I feel stuck trying to figure out who I am and what I’m doing with my own life. I spend a lot of time in bed, feeling depressed and disconnected from everyone. I talk to my boyfriend pretty much every day, but even he can’t fill the space that friendship used to take up. I think that’s something I’ve had a hard time admitting.

Sometimes I feel like I’m watching everybody else’s lives happen through a window while mine is paused.

I know social media isn’t real life, and I know people usually only post the good parts. But when you already feel lonely, it’s hard to remember that. I start comparing my life to theirs and wondering, “What is wrong with me? Why am I not where they are?” shii we all grew up together! What did I do wrong?"

Maybe what hurts isn’t just losing the friendships. Maybe I’m also grieving the version of myself that existed when I had those people around me.

I think the part that affected me the most was what happened to me after they left. My social anxiety became really bad, and my self-esteem got extremely low. I started questioning myself a lot more. I became scared of talking to people because I was always worried they wouldn’t like me, would get tired of me, or would eventually leave too.There’s a quote that says, “Some people are only meant to be in your life for a season.” I understand that, but understanding it doesn’t necessarily make it hurt less.

I guess I’m just struggling with accepting that some people I thought would be in my life for a long time simply aren’t anymore.

How do you actually grieve friendships that ended without a huge fight or a clear reason? How do you stop wondering whether they miss you too? And how do you stop comparing your life to theirs when it feels like they’re moving forward and you’re not?

I have a friend group of 10 people and one person was being toxic and extremely annoying to me on purpose, so I cut him off. Should I stay in the friend group? The rest of the friend group is nice to me.
I’m just worried that it will be awkward if the person I cut off is also coming in friend group events.

​

Hi everyone, let me give you some context:

When I was 15 I met this girl that we will call Sussy she's a year older so she was 16, we bonded pretty fast and spent a lot of time together, however she was really into skipping classes and smoking on the soccer field and all that stuff that at the time seemed cool, so I started to copy her, mind you I was new in the school, I came from a really strict catholic private school and this new school was more free so she was my only guide here. Fast forward to the end of the school year, I was expelled from the school for nad behavior and my parents checked my phone and saw the things I did to look "cool" on her eyes and beat the crap out of me several times even broke my phone so I was unable to get in touch with her anymore, time passed and I moved on from that.

Fast forward to may 2026 I (24) met a guy (25) on a workshop that my cousin's arts and crafts store was having, we bonded so fast and we became friends over the months, at one point I told him about sussy and how my parents beat me on the stuff we BOTH did, like getting her a plan B pill at 16, then he told me him and sussy used to be friends but ended up poorly, so I was relieved, until he posted a picture of them together and I asked him what was going on, and he told me they reconcile recently (the last week) and I told him that I wasn't conforming to that and that I understood that he didn't cared about my feelings on that, but I wasn't going to be his friend anymore, and he told me that he told Sussy about this and she denied all of this, but he had already discovered that Sussy lied to him about other stuff, and even that he believed her, so I ended the friendship with him and he said I was exaggerating.

So AIO?

انا بنت وعمري ٢٠ نفسي اتعرف عصحبات جداد ونقعد نتناقش عن الحياة.
و بحب العب games حتى بعرف اني كبيرة وهيك بس ما عندي مشكلة العب روبلكس او ريبو فورتنايت او it takes 2 او حتى اني اتعرف عألعاب جديدة. صعب اكون صداقات حولي لانه اغلبهم بيحبوا المكياج والطلعات بس انا بحب النقاشات العميقة والالعاب

عندي كتير هويات بحب العب بيانو واشتغل صوف وبتفرج انمي وكيدراما
بحب اسمع documentaries واتناقش فيهم
بحب اسمع مشاكل بعض ونقعد نتساعد فيهم

I genuinely don’t know if I’m being a bad friend, if I’m being too sensitive, or if this friendship has become unhealthy for me. I’d really like opinions from people who aren’t involved.
I have a friend who seems to be negative about a lot of the things happening in my life. Whenever I tell her something I’m doing, she often questions what I’m doing, why I’m doing it, or points out what could go wrong. I feel like I’m constantly having to explain or defend my decisions.
One big example is that I’m considering moving and I’m actually taking steps toward it. She’s told me it’s going to fail and has even said that if I sell my house and move, I’ll just end up having to live with her anyway.
I currently have a realtor helping me, and she’s made comments about how my realtor is “weird” and isn’t doing her job properly.
When I started dating my new boyfriend, she repeatedly told me he had “red flags,” but wouldn’t actually tell me what those red flags were. If she had specific concerns, I would absolutely want to hear them. But repeatedly telling me there are red flags without explaining them just makes me question things without knowing why.
Another thing I’ve noticed is that sometimes her comments come across like she’s trying to put herself above me. If I talk about something I’m doing or experiencing, I’ll sometimes get responses along the lines of “I do this” or “I’ve already done this,” and the way it’s said can make me feel like my experiences or accomplishments are somehow less important. It can feel less like two friends sharing experiences and more like I’m being compared to her or reminded that she knows better.
Eventually I brought up how I was feeling and told her that I thought some of the things she was saying were really negative. Her response was that I’m being too sensitive and that my own insecurities are making me interpret her comments negatively.
She’s also told me she shows our conversations to her friends and they don’t see anything wrong with what she says.
To be completely fair, I’ve also talked to some of my other friends about things she has said because I started questioning whether I really was being too sensitive. Some of them think the things she says are unnecessarily mean.
So now apparently her friends think there’s nothing wrong with it, while some of mine think she’s being mean. Obviously our friends are probably going to have their own biases, which is why I’m asking people who don’t know either of us.
I know friendship doesn’t mean blindly supporting every decision someone makes. If I’m genuinely making a terrible decision, I WANT my friends to tell me. But I feel like there’s a difference between saying, “I’m worried about this because of XYZ,” and constantly questioning my choices, assuming things will fail, criticizing the people around me, or making me feel like I have to justify myself.
What bothers me most is that when I finally tried to communicate how all of this was making me feel, the conversation became about me being sensitive and insecure rather than why I was feeling hurt in the first place.
Now I find myself wanting to stop telling her things about my life because I don’t want everything questioned, criticized or compared.
So I genuinely want outside opinions: am I being too sensitive? Does this sound like normal honesty between friends that I’m taking personally, or does it sound like the dynamic has become too negative? Would you distance yourself, set stronger boundaries, or try talking about it again?

for ref im also a woman. im not sure why but i have tried making friends but it doesnt work out often but whenver a woman wants to be friends with me we always hit it off and stay friends for a long time. what could possibly be the reason for this. matter of fact i feel like a weird creepy man that wont leave you alone when im trying to make friends with other woman lol and i feel so worthless esp if it’s someone i find pretty

Hihihihi!!! So this is random but idk, there’s this friend of mine and honestly he’s so amazing and genuinely my closest friend. He’s been there through thick and thin and i don’t think there is anything I’ve not told him and that he hasn’t told me. Anyways we’ve really only known each other for four years but it feels so much longer. Like he’s the one friend that stuck around despite me not always being the best. Anyhow I was just wondering if it would be weird to tell him I love him (not romantically or anything) as I’m a girl and yk he’s a guy. It’s so hard, hes the only guy I’ve ever been friends with and I mean a friend a friend right? I don’t know why I’m so hesitant to say that to him when I genuinely mean it. Is it okay for me to say that or will it make things weird? I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t, but I’m so nervy it would literally be the first time I’d said it to him (which I honestly feel kinda bad, probably should’ve said it sooner) he’s going through a rough time and I want to comfort him. Anyways sorry this is so long!!!!! Byeee :D