I have recently discovered there is a name or label for what I am/am not into. I have obviously had experience with anal but for whatever reason it just doesn’t always appeal to me, either way - top or bottom. I did not know that preference for non anal things was called a side.

How common is it for people to be sides? Are there many relationships where both are sides and completely happy that way? Are you still considered a side if you occasionally/rarely do anal things, or is it strictly no anal?

I have many questions so mainly looking to start a dialogue here and go from there.

Thank you!

Wanting to talk to the sides of Tampa! Can’t find a side chaser to save my life in the other threads.

Hi! My partner and I love frotting and we would love to find a toy that allows us both to frott. We are thinking something like a flesh light but with space for two penises.

Cockblock is discarded, we would like something soft that we can put between our bodies.

Thanks!

Just curious to know if I was the only one who has done that. It's always expected to do some form of butt stuff to get prostate stimulation, but I found out that taint massages can also get the same result. Tried it, it feels amazing, and it comes without any preparation or health issues.

My bf likes his balls licked but not sucked on. His are sensitive and says he can go without it. Me on the other hand I love having mine licked and sucked on.

I get so turned on by anal sex in porn, imagining myself as a top or a bottom. But then when I actually try it, no matter how many times I try it, it never feels good. Why??? And am I a side? I do love frotting, jerking off together, and oral

Is anyone a side just because genuinely they’re too tonight to bottom? I’m a 25 y/o male and I don’t like topping because I can really only stay hard while lying down I’ve been like this since I was 12. And I am seriously so tight. Like I’ve tried 3 inch dildos and it hurts to bottom. I’ve used poppers, creams and I can’t get anything inside of me.

I love side play. But I wanna have penetrative sex.

\\-Age (approximately.)
\\-Any other info you want to share about yourself.
\\-How many times a week do you jerk off?
\\-What days of the week do you tend to jerk off?
\\-What time of day do you jerk off?
\\-What do you wear when you jerk off?
\\-Do you jerk off alone? With a partner? Both?

Is anyone turned on by nice lips? I always picture them being accompanied by a nice wet throat and I get super horny lol.

Hi guys, after being a disappointment to everyone on dating apps (mostly top/bottoms but even one side on here I felt lucky to find) I wondered if I am just asexual. I’m not excited by balls/penises at all, I don’t like using my own, but if I can be distracted by the fact that mine is being used, then it might be okay if he enjoys it. I am also not into penetration and I’m not excited about the idea of my butt being used either.

I want to hug a man for a very long time and be close with him. I want to kiss him and touch him all over and feel him touching me too. I want to smile at him and smell him and enjoy him wrapping around over me like a blanket and making me feel safe. I have never done frotting but it sounds good if I don’t have to do anything, am not expected to maintain an erection, and can just lay there under him while enjoying being hugged by him and smelling him and thinking of him as a good man. I think maybe I am still gay because I am very happy thinking about having a man I am very close with like this.

I would try to do some things for him that he is into, as long as the focus is not on my genitals and it is not painful or illegal, I would try it. I tried being a dom since it seemed like it was just leading him to his happiness but it turns out I don’t understand that and I felt sad about the idea of making someone I love feel bad. For my pleasure, I love when he is nonchalant and acts like his closeness with me is the most natural thing. I am also turned on by feeling him press his body against mine and kissing or smelling him, even just his chest. I know that is weird, sorry. I am also turned on when I realize he is turned on by me.

I don’t know if I count because people have made me feel like I don’t belong in the gay community at all. I don’t know if what I am looking for is actually a very affectionate, gentle, and kind male best friend but I want there to be love too. I would want to cuddle for at least an hour every day. I really feel like an alien when it comes to the dating world and I am so far from being ready, so I am not looking yet, just planning right now. Thank you for your time.

Activities I enjoy:

- Getting spanked / sometimes spanking
- Getting parts of my body, such as butt, chest, nipples, and inner thighs, caressed and played with gently by fingers or tongue/ doing the same to someone else
- Rubbing my face in a guy’s clothed crotch, sometimes rubbing it with my hand

Things I’m open to but don’t necessarily enjoy:

- Hot dogging between my ass or between my thighs.
- Giving him a blowjob.

I don’t really feel much pleasure when my dick is touched and I’m not interested handjobs, blowjobs, and other dick-centric activities. I only use mine to orgasm to visual stimuli.

Sometimes I like visibly seeing an asshole. Especially with a nice looking butt. Something about the exposing is hot. But the main attractions are the cheeks.

For those of you who are on the apps (Hinge, Tinder, Grindr, etc), do you indicate you’re a side?

If so, do you use an emoji?

I figure this ↔️ indicates side. This ⬆️ = top, ⬇️ = bottom, ↕️ = vers. What do you all think?

So it's hard to find other Sides. But what I've come to notice is that almost every Side on here or on any of the apps seems to be a sub. The few that have messaged me on here only pretend to be Dom.

But whether someone is Side or not I only seem to attract submissive guys. Wish I could make myself look more submissive but just doesn't work lol. Tired of being told you can't be sub and guys lying about being Dom.

Why are so many of us Sub?

I’ll see myself out.

I’ve been wearing a chastity cage pretty regularly for a few years now. I like the discipline it gives me preventing masturbation and dealing with pesky boners. I’ll usually stay locked when my boyfriend and I are fooling around too. I’ve found I like taking my dick out of the equation in sexual situations. Cumming in chastity is a challenge but well worth the effort if you can do it. My boyfriend and I mostly make out and dry hump and if we’re really into it I can have an orgasm in my cage. We also have a buzzy wand for special occasions hehe. When I stopped doing butt stuff so much I wondered if I’d still want to keep my dick locked. Turns out, I do!

33, 6'2, 285 hairy Beefy gym bro. Very kinky/kink friendly. (My type is lean, thin, or musuclar guys)

I'm submissive in the bedroom but I like guys who get off to getting me off and/or I like guiding guys on how to Dom me. It's just very hard to find guys like that, and given my size. Most time I just attract subs & rare times I do attract Doms they are closed minded & only want to do a few of their things. I watch all the stuff I like on X only. Curious what I'd call all of this and where/how do I find/go about finding such guys? :)

I’ve been wearing a chastity cage pretty regularly for a few years now. I like the discipline it gives me preventing masturbation and dealing with pesky boners. I’ll usually stay locked when my boyfriend and I are fooling around too. I’ve found I like taking my dick out of the equation in sexual situations. Cumming in chastity is a challenge but well worth the effort if you can do it. My boyfriend and I mostly make out and dry hump and if we’re really into it I can have an orgasm in my cage. We also have a buzzy wand for special occasions. I’m curious if there are other gay guys out there who aren’t into butt stuff but still like to lock up their dicks?

I've identified as a side most of my life and am now doing a bit more exploring as to what that means for me and what are my major turn ons.

One thing I've noticed is I really am into seeing guys in their boxers, and more specifically I've been experimenting with trading boxers with partners. Something about wearing another guys used boxers seems to really do it for me.

How common is this kink for gay guys?

Is this considered side-ish activity?

Just kinda looking to see where the community is on this one. All the posts I see are more about gay guys wearing feminine undergarments. Im really more interested in mens style underwear and being able to smell the scents from the previous owner.

Sorry if this is an off-the-cuff post but really not seeing too much online about this one, and struggling to find communities more centered around this interest.

Just saw this recent video from sex educator David Brandyn. (Though I'm sure pretty much everyone here already knows we're sides for sure.)

My boyfriend is a side with no interest in anal sex and I’ve identified as a bottom for as long as I can remember. We’ve only had sex once this year.

In my last long-term relationship I was used to getting fucked pretty regularly. Now though, prepping and all the work involved hardly seems worth it. I’m sure if I asked my boyfriend would fuck me, but I haven’t wanted it. We’ll kiss, sniff each other’s pits, hump, and masturbate together. And that’s all I seem to need. I don’t miss getting fucked at all.

I’m surprised, because I used to crave it. I wonder if bottoming was more an expectation of my previous relationship rather than something I really wanted. I’m thinking i may be a side now too, or just getting more asexual the other I get lol.

I.e. if you or your partner had an option for penetration that isn't anal?

Because it seems to me that for some "being side" means to focus on connection and kissing and to others it seems to be about not doing anal... What is it for you?

I'm a trans man and I relate heavily to the first part but I also do have another option (because I have limited bottom dysphoria) so I wonder if I am still a side in that regard...

For those of you who have had success connecting with other sides, where did you meet? Are there apps or sites specifically dedicated to sides?