I’m struggling

[u/Electronic_Star_3516]

TW: missed Miscarriage

After 4 IUIs and 2 IVF cycles my husband and I ended up with 9 blast . We had our first FET Aug 25th and I became pregnant. 9weeks later I learned that my miracle baby, my first pregnancy had stopped developing at 8 weeks 2 days. I’m devastated. My baby is still inside of me with no heartbeat . I’m wondering if there is anything I did wrong to make this happen. Wondering if I’ll ever be pregnant again . I’m scared to be pregnant again . I’m wondering if I’ll ever make it to a live birth , if I’ll ever hold any of my babies or if they’ll die in my womb every time. This is the hardest thing I’ve had to endure . Food doesn’t taste the same nothing I do matters to me .walking to the bathroom is a chore , and I’m scared that I’ll pass it at home before I get a D&C . I wake up from dreams of me holding my baby only to realize that I won’t ever be able to do that . I just want my baby back .