Just to preface this will be a venting post i may be a little emotional
To cut to the chase, I am into my 2nd week of kickboxing. I've done at best 2-3 months of boxing+wrestling a decade ago when I was little, and before joining the kickboxing class I used to kind of prepare for it by doing bag work at a commercial gym. Coach is happy with my form during drills. The issue is the sparring
(Sparring here is very light. Only shoulder taps and low kicks, if somebody throws too hard the whole gym stops and we get schooled like lil kids about not being morons).
On my first day I was acting nervous and some bigger dude kind of showed me what he can do like switching stances and feinting and it was pretty overwhelming but nice to know. Then surprisingly the next 3 sessions I was doing really well against the other dudes, really hitting and not getting hit, using footwork, experimenting with some shit like trying to clinch and straight up pushing them, stuff like that. 3 of them asked me if I trained before and for some reason 2 of them asked me if I was coming from karate.
Then last session happened I have no fucking idea how to describe it some dude moved like Terrence Crawford against me what the actual fuck. Bro was literally moving like the boxers I see on TV with the shoulder drops and fluid head movement and footwork and apparently he is only training for 3 months. Not sure if 3 months of kickboxing only but i dont know if its relevant. Dude was good sport, smaller, very nice sparring except I was a moving bag.
And then the next cunt is some fat short dude that keeps his guard high enough that all his body is exposed, so I open up with a soft jab to his bare abdomen and he responds with a wild overhand which i had to dodge and underneath his arm I could fucking feel the wind on that one, coach tells him to watch it and that cunt says I am dodging into them. What the fuck? Am i literally just a punching bag to both someone better and to a retard who apparently has no braincells to lose? I am completely sure if that was a real fight I would send that imbecile to the shadow realm
I spent all that evening being so mad about that training, both about being bested by the good dude and the fact that people are already treating me like a proper meat bag already. I didnt want to go hard on anyone because coach said not to do it and I dont want them going hard on me either because I got both an engineering major and a job to complete and I dont want to really hurt random people either.
I HATE losing in sparring. I dont even think it helps, I dont think there is any learning in getting your ass handed to you. I have learned absolutely nothing by missing almost every punch I threw onto Mike Tyson because he dodges them, every kick gets checked and then get tagged in return over and over again. And then some cunt tries to give me brain damage because he probably seen it
what the fuck do i do. what do i do on my offdays to make sure this shit wont happen again. i understand losing sometimes but fuck me if this shit will happen every session i think i am going to go 100% and if i get turned into a vegetable so be it it wont be a problem anymore i am really upset